NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast - Episode 2: Jurassic Jeff Jezebel Owes Me Eight Bucks

Films Researched for this Podcast: The Fly (1986), Shooting Elizabeth (1992), Mad Dog Time (1996), and The Great White Hype (1996).

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 2: Jurassic Jeff Jezebel Owes Me Eight Bucks

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My only frustration about the finished product this week is that I cannot figure out how Skimbleshanks managed to get a picture that was easier to edit with Snapchat (@catbusruss) than my queen kitty Evangeline. My best offerings never seem to get the respect that they truly deserve. Should I really be selling that chip on my shoulder?

Judging that I decided to promote my Letterboxd account on this edition of "NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast", perhaps. My handle on that site is cmdarth, so despite the focus on the world of sub 97-minute features, the wrestling businesses always seeps in. I may need to a CM Punk and Soska Sisters' combination podcast. After the Colt Cabana drama, someone should take his initials away. If CM Venom is not going to step up...

To Punk's credit, he knows how long a movie's runtime should be. His 2019 starring roles both fit into the NinetyForChill.com time standards. I guess I still cannot help but to admire him. But he is not what professional wrestling needs right now. What it needs is a "No Holds Barred" remake with Jurassic Jeff Goldblum.

This week, I chat with my older sister ThePoeticCritic to talk about her favorite (living) actor, Jeff Goldblum and his features that range from 91 to 96 minutes. Her immense knowledge and research (Thanks Mike and Mike at "Now and Then Movie Podcast") allowed her to give me a lot of incite into the story of one of the best character actors of the past 45 years. She also explains why half of my four-day Goldblum binge required some means of chemical escape.

Tje features that are discussed in depth on this podcast are the David Cronenberg classic "The Fly", Larry Bishop's mess of a debut feature "Mad Dog Time", "Shooting Elizabeth" from his European excursions, and "The Great White Hype" a funny fighting film featuring the fresh from "Pulp Fiction" Samuel L. Jackson. ThePoeticCritic also provides opinions about every other Goldblum feature that qualify for the NinetyForChill.com standards.

We also discuss the idea of raising the ceiling of 97 minutes to 99 minutes. I have made it clear that a three-figure film length will not be considered. A little editing never hurts.

Then again, a little editing is what "ThePoeticCritic" might ask for when it comes to a joke about David Cronenberg's role as Geena Davis's gynecologists in "The Fly". It may also apply to my reminiscing about Stuart Gordon's "Robot Jox", a film that places Michael Bays attempts at robotic comedy to shame.

And as always, I do take the time to mention the feature I have been trying to get out of development hell "Main Event off the Dead" a no to low-budget flick about indie wrestlers versus 80's gimmicked zombies. If you want a treatment or have any pointers on how to pull it out of development hell, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Who Wore It Better - https://ifunny.co/

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast - Episode 1: Ally's Abbreviated Anime Adventure

Films Researched for this Episode: My Neighbor Totoro (1988), Porco Rosso (1992), The Cat Returns (2002), and "The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006)

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 1: Ally's Abbreviated Anime Adventure

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It looks like we have made it. My Blue Snowball microphone, a Zoom meeting room, and Audacity open source, cross-platform audio editor has allowed me to produce my first true podcast. If anyone is interested, I do have an old assignment from a 2009 ICC mass media class that elaborates on my liberal leanings and how they are necessary for colleges to truly benefit their students, but I do not know if you want to perceive me as even being more pretentious.

Ally Higgins from AllysAccessoriesShop comes on and does her best to express her affection for anime, an animation style she was introduced to during our three and three-quarter year long relationship. We started with Studio Ghibli's classics like "My Neighbor Totoro", "Porco Rosso", and "The Cat Returns" and move on to the flicks where they just drew too many pictures. Makoto Shinkai's latest releases get some love and we find out Ally's surprising love for Mamoro Hosoda's library.

Studio Ghibli 10 best Studio Ghibli films - TimeOut

Please pardon our little asides about her recent COVID-19 related quarantine, the discovery that her current significant other is a mark, the brawls between my cat Eva and her cat/my roommate Skimble, and the influences of the podcasts "ID10T" [A Christopher Columbus rant (the director/writer/producer, not the genocidal moron)] and "Marty and Sarah Love Wrestling".

What can I say except to those podcasts' pets, "What you gonna do when Eva and Skim run wild on you?" It is not a threat. The furry ones and I just want to take that over from the Hulkster. I suppose I need to start using "brother" a lot more.

At this time, I am looking for a guest for the next episode, and would love to have the next episode out next Tuesday. Want to talk about sub 97-minute movies? Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Just to cover all legalities, the opinions expressed do not reflect those of Best Buy, Inc.

Grumpy Cat - Image #534,913 - knowyourmeme.com

James Gunn's "Slither" - A Cronenbergian Successor to "Gremlins"

 

 

Racism Can Play in Peoria. What About Your Local Wrestling?

 *Blog post started on November 24, 2020.

I think we will get into the post's movie review rather quickly. Yes, Trump is starting to accept reality, but it has only been a day since I knocked out my review for the tragic misuse of the North American treasure, Keanu Reeves, in "Siberia". If there is a video game titled with the same pronunciation of your movie title (As I verified that on Wikipedia, I found out that "Cyberia" was also the title of a UK-based industrial act called Cubanate. At least one positive came out of that $0.55 rental.), we are not expecting romance to trump the diamond smuggling drama.

It is actually appropriate that I finally opened my first Netflix DVD of the billing cycle, "Slither", because I just got word today of a COVID-19 outbreak at my parents' house. At least Mom (Negative while older sister and Dad are positive.) will appreciate that this feature is from the guy who brought Rocket and Groot to the big screen.

MoviePosters2.com

If I would have gotten the news about yesterday, "Slither" would have been the ideal, ironic distraction. But, it is Tuesday. "AEW Dark" just cannot muster a card up to take the edge off and you know my unwatched movies are all a little too far on the dark side to relax to. Did I enjoy "Slither" enough to purchase it on iTunes (It was $4.99 and yes, it was purchased)?

Slither (2006)

Wheelsy, South Carolina is so busy getting ready for deer hunting season, no one notices a meteorite that crashes in the nearby woods. If there is any noticeable drama, it is the gossip about the relationship between the prettiest biology teacher at the high school, Starla, and her wealthy, older husband, Grant. Sheriff and codependent childhood friend of Starla, Bill suspects and accepts that it is a marriage of convenience, and trusts she made the best decision while he still longs for her.

Unfortunately, if there was any flame, it is waning. Feeling rejected, Grant decides to go out to a bar and flirts with Brenda, a fellow classmate of Starla. They drunkenly end up in the woods. He thinks better of pursuing an affair, and had the perfect way out of the situation. The two have stumbled upon the meteorite, and Grant chooses to investigate the slime that is trailing away from it. In an inebriated state, Grant ends up to close to the larva like organism and is stung. After regaining consciousness, he has only one thing on his mind. Meat.

Beyond Grant's carnivorous obsession, everything seems normal and perhaps better in terms of his marriage. That is until his cravings lead to him skipping out on the Deer Cheer Dance, a celebration to kickoff hunting season. It turns out he skipped out to kidnap and impregnate Brenda with his parasite. When Starla finds him at home after the dance, he is starting to mutate into something alien as well.

Bill is investigating the disappearance of Brenda while Starla is trying to figure out what Grant is hiding. After Grant catches Starla snooping around, he seems intent on killing her, but Bill and his fellow deputies arrive on the scene. Grant transforms into something that is halfway between squid and man and escapes. Three days pass, and there are a lot of dead live stock and pets littering Wheelsy. The impatient mayor and Bill gather a posse to hunt down Grant, but it turns out Grant was laying a trap for them.

When they locate an alive but beyond bloated Brenda, she explodes into thousands of slugs. These slugs enter their victims through the mouth and allow Grant to control them. The town is quickly infected, and wanting to reconcile with his wife, Starla is kidnapped. It is up to Bill and Kylie, a high schooler who seems to have success fighting these slugs off to save the day. Here is hoping a grenade compensated from some passing fishermen will be enough to end this nightmare.

"Slither" is a close to perfect horror comedy for adults. It features the body horror you typically see in David Cronenberg features while always being aware that you may just need to laugh in the face of the ridiculous, no matter how horrific it maybe. In a way, this feature is "Gremlins" without the constraint of a PG rating. The story has a lot of elements that are laid out wonderfully, leading to a roller coaster scream of joy.

With having so much rising action, the audience may get annoyed that there is not gore through out, but the audience is treated to great performances from Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, and Michael Rooker that give you the expectation that when it hits the fan, it must be spectacular. The only annoying thing about any of the acting is that with the exception of Rooker, the southern accents are not to authentic (What is one to expect from a mostly Canadian cast?). But it is a comedy and James Gunn knows that the audience is coming in feeling smarter than his characters, so this serves to let the audience know they are all in on the joke.

Regardless of the jokes, the gore effects and rejection of the boundaries of good taste allows the audience to still be shocked and horrified. The humor allows any audience to stick with it to the end, but the graphic violence makes sure that horror fans are quite appreciated. The finale is a bit overly drawn out, but if you are horror aficionado you will just admire everything Gunn is playing homage to, including his Troma roots.

If you are trying to introduce someone to horror who swears they have a sturdy their stomach is, "Slither" is the perfect flick. The humor will keep any audience involved while shocking non-genre and amusing the gore hounds. It is almost sad that this cannot cause the damage that "Gremlins" did to 80s' kids. I got over that trauma after 30 years.

Philadelphia’s Underappreciated Championship: Disgruntled Real World Champ - Part 2

 

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"Sucker Punch": A Shot-on-Video Movie from 2008 and the The Start of 2021

 *Blog post started on January 7, 2021.

So I was angry to the point where I did not feel much like joking. If that shit had to happen, why on my day off? Once AEW concluded, it left me feeling like I had wasted all the time before hand with that frustration. In other words, the pissed off conservative trolls were either too confused or too afraid to acknowledge they have been calling for an insurrection to engage me on Twitter.

Fortunately, gambling is not something that I plan to take up this year. I thought we had a chance for a quiet return to normalcy. Dr. Dre seems to be recovering from the brain aneurysm. Georgia went blue. It seems we just cannot have nice things.

My wishes for things to be quiet were pointless though. If things are quiet, then there is less on the internet for me to read. With less to read, more down time has been established. How do I spend my down time? Writing is the answer of course. When the rational world knows Trump should be removed from office, can I really add to it (beyonds recommending Twitter accounts that should be locked out like their leader's)?

Wrestle Kingdom 5: Night 2 was a solid card, but no surprises except for the promise that Jon Moxley will defend the United States Championship for a third time. Unless NJPW is going to work with AEW, thus allowing KENTA of the Bullet Club to return to Orlando and make a trip up to Jacksonville for the match. I suppose since Moxley is battling a Biz Cliz off shoot, Moxley does not have to look weak in defeat.

I do not want to make this blog (Main Event of the Dead) solely about the wrestling business. This must be an indicator that I should get to work on my next fictional project. If you have any ideas on how to move my pro-wrestling zombie comedy, "Main Event of the Dead", out of development hell or would like a script treatment, feel free to send them to russthebus07@gmail.com. That will at least give me some kind of distraction. It may be hard to write my idea for a television pilot on bank hardware.

Then again the "Main Event of the Dead" treatment I composed for Chicago's best wrestler was compiled on the Mark Twain's concierge computer, so perhaps I need to be daring for the sake of being daring. Of course, if someone from Peoria (or Chicago) were to claim my work, I have the copyright so I will get my pound of flesh. It is a catch 22. Write it on my laptop, neglect my cats for a few evenings, and then secure the copyright despite no one will buy copyrighted material. Write it on bank software but leave a trail for it to be stolen before I can sell it.

It seems theft is what all drama is based upon. The Trump base is trying to steal the election. Jon Moxley wants vengeance against Kenny Omega for stealing the AEW World Championship from him. I want to own my ideas, but you cannot sell intellectual property. If only I could come up with a Danny Ocean style crew to turn the negatives into positives.

Demonstrating my charisma is what I hope to start achieving. Tonight, I am going to try and gather a podcast based on NinetyForChill.com out of my former partner. She is pretty reserved, but tell her to drop her Etsy shop into the conversation, this might pay off.

If only I did not have to listen for customers. If it was like my old copy-writing gig, I could just listen to podcasts. That way, I could listen to all of my friends who have started podcasts and start to network with obtainable guests. It seems cheaper than paying for Patreons to secure them.

Unless everyone of the locals have Patreons. The pay walls just takes away the will to struggle to fame and fortune. There are no dues to pay, or at least anyone who is willing to pay for them.

Or perhaps it is all about opening a print-to-order T-shirt shop. It worked for Tony Khan. I wonder why he has not turned to making chic merchandise for the Jaguars. Bullet Club mash up with Jackson de'Ville, and the sales can get you those generational talents that this AFC South team so desperately needs.

*January 8, 2021.

The recording of the first "Ninety For Chill: The Podcast" seems to have went well. I was starting to partake of my whiskey collection during the recording, so needless to say I have not played the Zoom meeting back, recorded an intro, or began editing. Because of the alcohol, there was no way I was going to partake in the NuEra Hybrid that I have at home. Something needed to be done with the rest of the evening, and "Ninety For Chill: The Website" has been falling behind in content.

My original title for this blog was going to be "Theft: The Insurrection; The US Championship; The Podcast", so I thought a heist movie would be good to unwind to. Unfortunately, these movies tend to require a lot of detail, so finding one that was under 97 minutes did not go well. Netflix did mail me a 2008 feature called "Sucker Punch" that was about underground fighting in London. Since those films are about grifting, that seemed an appropriate subject as the Trump presidency comes to an end. Being incredibly ugly by being shot on video...possibly tape also seems fitting when the government was held hostage by a bunch of people who could not program a VCR.

If only the Capital Building had a clock out front flickering 12:00 a.m. at the traitors, the confusion could have slowed the siege down. And it would have kept those twats who objected to the certification from even showing up.

Tom Hardy | Sucker Punch (2008)

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Sucker Punch (2008; 1 hour 32 minutes)

Charles Buchinsky is seemingly a damaged pit fighter who decides London is where he needs to be. He claims to have loose ends to tie up, but it may simply be in the capital because he needs a manager to get his fights set up. After he walks into a fight and dominates, both the menacing manager Victor Maitland and the flamboyant Ray "Harley" Davidson. Something about Maitland's demand of the room leads to absolute no trust from Buchinsky, so he is quick to consider an offer from Harley despite the struggles to survive are worn all over his face.

Maitland is dead set on never letting Harley have an opportunity to show him up, so every fight for Buchinsky comes with ridiculous entrant fees. Harley is a gambler in every facet, so he is always quick to spend whatever his fighter takes in. This results in Harley needing to approach loan sharks to provide him money in hopes that Buchinsky will win the big one for him. As Maitland keeps throwing obstacles in Buchinsky's way, the fighter's perseverance leave all the spectators certain that he will be the top guy in London. With all the spoils that come with being his promoter, will Harley be able to stay on top if that happens, or is he just looking for the next large prize? How long can his fighter continue to represent his dreams of outrageous fortune?

"Sucker Punch" is without a doubt the ugliest film featuring a Tom Hardy scene, but the story has a lot of heart and two every man protagonists that you cannot help but get behind. It can be best summed up as a film for fight fans by fight fans.

Calling it a film by fight fans means it is probably better than one by Tap Out like "Locked Down", but do not expect high art. Writer/director Malcolm Martin did not have the apparel company's pre-Affliction funds. This means no additionally lit scenes that did not take place at a Cage Rage show (MMA home of the film's antagonist, Ian Freeman) and literally no kind of special effects. Thank the gods for England's strict gun laws.

For me, the cast, primarily "Red Dwarf's" Danny John-Jules, was strong enough to keep my attention and look past the ugliness of the production. The story is tried and true and one that I can watch over and over again (The end of "Lionheart" never fails to score some tears from me.). If you want a B-movie of vintage Van Damme, there is "Fight Night" for that fix. But you want to see how well this story can work with no budget, "Sucker Punch" proves it can and even add some Guy Ritchie like twists.

You have to love the effort to make movies to truly appreciate "Sucker Punch". This story was going to be pushed into visual media no matter what, so it is a pity for the dirty appearance that the budget could afford. Despite this, you have entertaining enough characters and a format that rarely fails. It brings MMA back to the 90's, and if you are nostalgic for low blows and soccer kicks, this is worth a watch.

 

Religious and Technological Head Trips: "Angel Heart" and "eXistenZ"

*Blog post started on December 21, 2020.

Regarded as a horror classic by some, this is a mess of a picture, but to see how they sweep it up is worth a view. Brooklyn PI Harold Angel is hired by the aloof and religious Louis Cyphre to find a crooner who skipped out on his fame and fortune arrangement just before WWII. Every time Angel gets a clue, a brutal off camera murder follows. Why he would introduce a 17 year-old Voodoo priestess to it is barely comprehend-able, especially with “Fight Club” parallels.

 Check out the visceral movie review for "Angel Heart" by visiting MainEventoftheDead.com.

From 13 days of work in a row to three days off this week (including Sunday), I am still trying to get my bearings. Eva The Queen Kitty is looking after me, which is the reason I give for why people say she has a resting bitch face, so that leads me to think I am an emotional wreck. If anything, I feel like I am on Zoloft. There are no worries, but no motivation. Perhaps a trip to my folks on Christmas Eve will get me excited. COVID had already ravaged the residence, so it should be safe.

I wish I could complain about stuff, aside from my PA wanting me to do a video conference for a physical exam (She could have responded to my cancellation reasoning with, I will not just give you your diabetes meds.). Anger would at least be an emotion. "Cyberpunk 2077" is fun enough, not too buggy on the PS4. If anything, I think the story is too tight. It is very difficult to freely break the law. Thus, the urge to go on a killing spree is hindered.

There is definitely an under lying aggression to me, it just is not anger. I think that is kind of zen when you think of all those kick ass Tibetan monks from Shaw Bros. films and Mr. Miyagi teaching LaRusso you learn how to fight so you do not need to fight. It definitely does not jive with nihilism.

I have just inspired myself to write a "Funny or Die" replacing Tyler Durden and the Narrator with the protagonists from "The Karate Kid". An improv team is what I need to sell my subtle art of talking too much.

I guess it is now obvious that I am just spending too much time in my head. This is the reason for revisiting "Angel Heart", a flick I watched during the best times of 2004. My brain was a wreck then, and it seemed to work out fine. The dilemma for Sunday became trying to find a Redbox movie that was not a cheap psychological drama or horror. Ironically, when I was going through my unwatched iTunes, David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ" was among them. It just means that I trust those ideas when it comes from Canada's Master of Horror.

 

eXistenZ (1999, 1:37)

Allegra Geller is considered by most to be the best video game designer since video games have become bio-technological. Her talent is so great, that competitors to her company think it would best serve them to have her eliminated. The first demonstration of her newest game, "eXistenZ" was infiltrated by an assassin who wounds Allegra and kills the host of the presentation just as people were being hooked up to the newest biopod. Only marketing representative in training, Ted Pikul, is quick to act and whisk Allegra from the chaos.

Paranoid, Allegra decides it is best to find friendly people of the grid to protect her and Pikul. With no means of contacting her, she will have the time to examine her game and see if the attack resulted in any damage to it. The difficulty in doing this is that she needs a friend to explore the game with. Pikul is the only person she can trust, but he is a bit paranoid of games that tap directly into the nervous systems of the players. He may also just be afraid of piercings since he does not have the input slot installed into his spine.

The conditions are less than ideal. Time is not on their side, and her newbie is obviously going to have difficulty determining what is real and only a game. But if the software is damaged, how will either of them truly understand their existence be it reality or existence spelled with a big X and Z.

Centered around video game consoles with the same texture and color of sex toys, "eXistenZ" must have been intended to be Cronenberg's spiritual successor to "Videodrome". Like the prior feature, it definitely feels like a product of its time, but when you consider what video games have become, it still resonates with today's audiences. This film is what every pre-Matrix internet film wanted to be, aside from also being PG-13.

This feature has some body horror elements, but not the make up effects that audiences had grown accustomed to with Cronenberg's works like "Videodrome", "Scanners", and "The Fly". There are plenty of revolting images like the mutant reptiles and amphibians that Jude Law has to eat in order to create a gun constructed of bone, but the true horror revolves around needing to connect umbilical chords from the console to the base of their spine. Can any video game be worth genuine trauma to play? I will say yes, but with 28 years of combat sport experience and clinical depression on top of that, I may be an exception.

The thing that would deter me from wanting to be essentially feeding my life force to a PlayStation is that the game "eXistenZ" leaves it users grounded to its rules. Pikul and Geller have to follow the dialogue trees to progress and the decisions are never as challenging as we hope. I would love to know how many hours of gaming the then 57 year-old director had to put in to know exactly how they work. It turns out as an anti-gaming theme because it shows some of us are so desperate to escape reality, that we will anchor ourselves to not needing to make tough decisions just to be somebody else.

The cast plays all there parts brilliantly, and with the exception of Jude Law's flat tone (at least he did not try to go full on American accent), every quirk is justified by the conclusion that is very reminiscent of the "Twilight Zone". It is almost a shame that Cronenberg has only written one other film since this feature.

If anything else is lacking, it might be action. This is a video game after all. I guess you can say that it emulates those from the horror genre before Capcom and Paul W.S. Anderson screwed up the "Resident Evil" franchise. You get to be disturbed, but the narrative lacks intensity for our characters. But, again, this is not really much of a stretch from where video games have ended up today, so you have to appreciate Cronenberg having his finger on the pulse.

With the lack of "Fangoria" worthy imagery, "eXistenZ" does not seem like your standard Cronenberg, but it still delivers a story that is right up his fans' alley. Add in a "Twilight Zone" vibe, it is surprisingly accessible. Society would probably benefit from a reissue of this feature just to stop and think about the technological escapism and where it may lead...limited dialogue selection.

Денис Бернхардт - Pinterest