90 Minute @Netflix #DVD: "Armed Response" or The Turd Seth Cannot Polish

I do fear my satire is falling to the wayside by doing this movie catch up. It makes me reminisce of my second trip through Illinois Central College. Give me due dates, and I will deliver something to be defanged by the competent editor. My righteous butt appreciated the awareness during the second half of my time at ICC's newspaper, The Harbinger, but it was fun putting the reputation of the paper on the line with pro-steroid pieces.

Steroids, that is probably a good spot to stop tonight. Dolph Ludgren, Michael Jai White, Danny Trejo; these are all stars in the journal. The only other thing on my mind is how The Wrestling Compadres may have managed to prevent me from cancelling them for another month. Praise the "Tom Magee" documentary on the WWE Network while bad mouthing me for not wanting to watch a booking turd like "Money in the Bank" inspires to me to want to engage in their tit for tat, despite the number of times I have been edited for their own su-su-su-su-spect devices. Thrice, pro-feminism views had been cut.

All these movie reviews I am teasing have wrestling parallels, so I should stick to the transition, but when I think about all the times I have been edited, it makes me wonder if I should just try to podcast. My stuff looks good written, but how does it work for the audiophiles? Anchor (thanks for the tip Spotify) says it is easier than ever to find out.

Podcasting does seem to be about talking in circles, so my writing should be fine. At least I know it is better than that in..."Armed Response," the WWE film where I regret giving Seth Rollins 90 minutes to shine a turd, hence why I will not let his A.J. Styles's match inspire me to watch twice the poor writing to get to.

Armed Response: Working the Broom the Match

When WWE says they want to attach you to a film, you will not get to offer a negative response. From a certain legitimate podcast ("The Art of Wrestling: Thanksgiving 2014"), it seems that you just say, "Thanks for the time off." Pretend that making a film is like the TV format, celebrate the lack of bumps and hope you do not have to do the favor for Anne Heche. Insist that the sentient, telepathic prison scores the fall. This is the Gene Simmons produced "Armed Response."

Still recovering from letting go of his daughter's bike too soon during a lesson adjacent a highway, Gabriel (TV's Dave Annable) is called back to action by his former army comrades Isaac (Wesley Snipes) and Riley (Anne Heche) to investigate why they lost contact with a high tech black ops prison called a Temple. The crew that was facilitating this were also brothers-in-arms that they served with in Afghanistan. Since Gabriel designed this complex, he is obligated to find some answers.

Can we get a movie where the site is not full of mangled corpes? These mysterious events probably happen all the time, but it is usually a router problem. Hence, we do not hear about it, so we can not presume any other movie cliches.

Temples are an over-sized interrogation system that can measure body chemistry to determine the correct answers of its prisoners. The goal is to avoid the need for torture. But everyone wants to torture someone, and it seems that is no different when it comes to the Temple itself. Everyone in the Temple have their sins, and this house of truth will administer punishment, technology, physics, and chemistry be damned. If you break laws, so will it.

Viewing "Armed Response" was not that painful for me. I was watching this flick hoping it would allow fellow Danny Daniels disciple Seth Rollins a retirement plan, so focus was skewed. Upon reviewing my memories, this is the worst WWE Studios's film to date (at least when featuring WWE talent).

Director John Stockwell had a hell of a 2016. "Countdown" was a great B-movie and "Kickboxer: Vengeance" was better than the original Van Damme film. I suppose WWE thought he was talented enough to make a flick with nothing but past their prime stars and an empty building. This film shows that he is not the Soska Twins (check out my "See No Evil 2" review).

And this incomprehensible script further pisses me off since I cannot get anyone to request a treatment of "Main Event of the Dead." Feel free to email me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

It is called an Intellectual Property. You must have intelligence in your story to earn that distinction. If you do not, you make anyone who lacks tax issues dumber for working on this. No wonder Rollins said yes to Shield reunions instead of taking his ball and running to off to another promotion.

The next worse WWE flick is the Soskas's "Vendetta", but it is light years better than this. It was Dean Cain versus the Big Show. That film gave us something to care about. "Armed Response" is a ghost story without any ghosts. Ghost are supernatural. Computers are not.

Annable is not a star, so it is nothing versus nothing. Snipes and Rollins are the undercard, so there is nobody who can get you invested in this flick. Maybe if the film explained how parallel prison walls can rip limbs from someone, disbelief can be blissfully suspended.

The WWE producers of "Armed Response" should be sued for defaming Stamford's name. If a story makes less sense than Doctor Chris Amann's lawsuit against the Second City Saints, it should not have been green lit regardless of what an idiot from Kiss says.

https://teaser-trailer.com/movie/temple/

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast Episode 11 - Do You Want To Scan a Skimble? (Just Press Play)

Film's Researched for this Episode: Rabid (1977), Naked Lunch (1991), The Pit and the Pendulum (1991), A History of Violence (2005), Rabid 2019, and Frankenstein (2015).

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 11: Do You Want To Scan a Skimble?  (Just Press Play)

Read more: https://html.com/media/#ixzz6jIeBsAn5

After finally finding a PlayStation 5 (Meijer's hides them) and getting a COVID-19 vaccination, I really cannot complain about not being able to secure a guest for this week's episode of the podcast. Believe me. I tried (To rant and secure a guest). It took recording three introductions, and by the third one, the societal anger had all but worn out.

Which is sad, because Tubi really needs the negative press for promoting Fox News even though these ads showed up while I was watching Stuart Gordon's adaptation of "The Pit and the Pendulum". If you wanted an appropriate feature to advertise Christian hate, a film about the Spanish Inquisition would be the ironic choice.

But is it not bad enough for Tubi to promote an anti-vaxxer's show. Here is to hoping Ken Jeoung can correct her politics. He is still a doctor, right?

I could go on about other anti-democratic propaganda like where am I going to eat breakfast, which I will rant on about at the bottom of this post. When my podcast involves the "adaptation" of William S. Burroughs's "Naked Lunch" and the ironic take on Middle America that is "A History of Violence", to continue ranting about politics to promote this blog seems pointless.

This blog explores David Cronenberg films I have watched or rewatched recently. It actually turns out to be quite poignant when I investigate 1977's "Rabid" and the Soska Sister's re-imagining from 2019. They both serve as accurate prediction's of the American response to COVID-19. You end up admiring the Canadians for learning from their art. They do not have the mess that is occurring to their southern neighbors.

And to further investigate the American attitude, "Ally's Accessories Shop's Trash Film Reviews" provides us with a take on "Candyman" director Bernard Rose's modern re-imagining of "Frankenstein". With Tony Todd on board for that ride for some racial abuse, you know you have an intriguing feature concept that only wretched monster makeup may hinder.

I hope you enjoy this brief edition to NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast. A guest has been lined up for next Tuesday's episode, so the migration to Spotify will definitely be worth it. Thanks for visiting and listening.

No cats were scanned in the making of this episode.

 

Buzzfeed - 15 Mensajes de texto que nadie quiere recibir

Georgia businesses need to take a hit for their state's racist voting laws, but all the best fast food places serve Simply Orange Juice which is a Coca-Cola subsidiary. There comes a point where I can no longer eat Chick-fil-A's delicious hate chicken. Of course when you look at the states that fast food chicken represents (Georgia, Louisiana, Kentucky) this fowl may deserves Lance Henriksen's wrath. It is almost like these birds are the spawn of Satan. If only I was not an atheist, then I would lack the guilt for funding the fascism.

 

The Criterion Collection -   David Cronenberg Naked Lunch

 

90 Min DVD: "Smash Cut": Minor League Soska Sisters

*Blog entry written on February 18, 2020

My life kind of feels like it is a holding pattern. I know I am a big advocate for patience and I seem to have a lot of it, but waiting drives me crazy as much as the next person. Not expressing my frustration with that (publicly) maybe my greatest strength.

It is not so much that I cannot do anything with myself. It is that any decision I make will not have any affect of me in the immediate future. C2E2 is next weekend. How am I going to afford to go to the show and afford a room? This spoiled soon to be 40-something has to wait and see.

Dad wants me to get the non-sports elements of the England trip planned out. How do I do that when I am not around him to review stuff with him? I am sure he would dig a play about the making of "Jaws", but I need to be for sure.

This could just all be related to the winter. When things warm up, things will get better. Of course, aside from sporting events, when do I really appreciate the weather?

I suppose the next rewrite of "Main Event of the Dead", my pro-wrestling themed zom-com, needs to change most of the scenes to exteriors. That way, I could use the natural light to shoot it instead of dealing with the expense of lighting a bingo hall. If you have any other ideas on how to get this project out of development hell, I will be happy to email you a treatment (drop me a line at russthebus07@gmail.com) in exchange.

Studying Lee Demarbre's "Smash Cut" at least made the past week worth noting. I had more fun watching "Knives Out", but aside from storytelling, I am years away from being worthy to study under Rian "Second Best Star Wars Movie" Johnson's learning tree. Canadians paying homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis and trying to get the most out of a nonexperimental performances from adult film stars seems like the right place for my filmmaking aspirations to be.

Able Whitman is a struggling B-movie director whose most recent film, "Terror Toy", debuted to a near total walk out from the audience. This disaster will not run him out of the business because every investor needs tax write offs, but he will never be the artist that he strives to be without proper inspiration.

Outside of the industry, the only person who sees potential in him is a stripper named Gigi. She wants to see him succeed so badly, that she sets out to be his muse and will not even take his money from her performances. Of course everything in Whitman's life turns bad, and she dies in a car accident as he drove her home from work. Whitman initially tries to cover up the incident, but after seeing the wretched gore effects his crew has come up with for "Terror Toy 2", he opens his trunk to find his inspiration, and Gigi makes no complaints about being featured in the picture.

After the latest test reel, his producers believe that he is finally on to something, and if he can keep it up, Whitman will have a blank check. If it is realistic effects that will make him the director he has always dreamt he could be, realism is what he will provide. But with Gigi rotting, where else can he get the viscera for the celluloid? Well, being mocked by critics, local aspiring documentarians, and producers who demand rewrites so that their friends' kids have roles, Able Whitman has a wide menu of options.

My expectations were not very high for "Smash Cut". Sasha Grey was nothing but a name to put on the cover of "The Girl from the Naked Eye" to garner interest while only one scene. Herschell Gordon Lewis did a lot for Grindhouse cinema, but what I have seen from "Blood Feast" and "Wizard of Gore" did not seem worthwhile. But with a disclaimer placed at the beginning to put you in the grindhouse mood followed up by the hilarity of the "Terror Toy" screening, you know that the director implies that he does not want you to take the film seriously at all. This picture is all about Lee Demarbre knowing what people want to see from a bad horror movie. He just needs an audience to cheer on his efforts to deliver it.

I think most fans of no-budget cinema enjoy just witnessing the effort the directors and actors take to tell a story that, financially, they have no business in telling. As long as you can at least laugh at the shortcomings, the director has succeeded in his goal. "Smash Cut" takes the experiences of being a filmmaker in this genre too personally at times, but until the film got to the point where a conclusion was required, the dialogue and shortcuts are amusing enough to keep the viewer involved.

The actors do not take themselves too seriously and most seem to have fun playing a long with the ridiculous story. If Sasha Grey would have gone out and hammed it up, the ensemble would have been stronger, but it was early in traditional acting career, so showing restraint may have been the better career move. Her reading from "Hamlet" was solid and her screams were on point when it came to dealing with the gore effects.

As for the gore, aside from decay effects, it is the best no budget can offer. They work out great after the low bar they demonstrate at the beginning of the film. The best element is that the director shows no respect to the impact they should have on us. Since "Friday the 13th" was all about shock and showing that it could be done instead of should it be done, Demarbre has topped himself effects wise when compared to his classic "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" from eight years prior.

Unfortunately, Ian Driscoll may have regressed over that time as a screenwriter. When telling a story about the film industry, you do not have to keep driving the point home that the audience should be siding with the mentally unstable artist's message. If we enjoy that kind of plot, you do not need to remind us why we are here. Whitman is no Jesus, so he needs stronger supporting characters to help him out, and they are almost nonexistent.

I came to a point where I wondered why Demarbre was not at the level of the Soska Sisters. "Dead Hooker in a Trunk" lacked a budget, but the characters were strong enough that the minimal gore in comparison was almost unnecessary. It gave you multiple perspective into how crazy the journey was that you forgot that the film had no budget. Demarbre and Driscoll give you fun flicks, but they are not going to make you forget that they pride themselves on missing elements.

"Smash Cut" is an amusing B-movie that takes pride in being a no budget affair. The conclusion is very clunky and it can take itself too seriously, but it lets the audience know that anyone can make a fun movie as long as you have a fun story. For someone who wants to start in film with little resources, I definitely appreciated this film, and with that approach, any smart film goer should too.

IMDb - Smash Cut (2009)

"See No Evil 2:" Will There be 12 Rounds for Kane?

I must say, I have not been in much of a mood for writing lately. If you're a loyal reader (a possibility) you've probably taken note. Worry not, there have been blogs written, they're just real downers. When you're having enough issues feeling down, you question whether or not the wallowing should be spread.

Perhaps that's why Iowans' love their pig gestation crates. Confines where movement is prohibited maybe hellish, but at least the shit stays in the same place.

Now, I'll digress. Maybe I should post the unpublished blog "Wrestlers Only Read when Hate May Be Involved" just to draw their eyes to this movie review.

This blog probably will not be posted until the next episode of "Raw." Hopefully, when I get Fridays at the hotel, I'll be able to publicize these more. In this case, I want to see if I'll cool down more from the commentary of two undeserving, talent-free guys who are getting to pursue my passion.

It may not be the depression and alienation that's making writing a chore, it's the grudges. If I find out either is a White Sox fan, I may have to fuck them up out of principle. Too much sin.

Sorry it took seven paragraphs to get to a transition, but it may have been fate, a paragraph per deadly sin.

See No Evil 2:

It would be spoiling the previous film if I was to theorize how Jacob Goodnight (Isaac Yankem DDS) survived his comeuppances (I'm thinking the sterile substance from the only joke in the first film that was administered to his most noticeable wound prevented any infection), but he is definitely going to need a few hours to recuperate. A morgue maybe the ideal spot for him to regain his strength. There should not be too much noise to disturb him during the graveyard shift. Unfortunately, he ends up at the one where the noble Amy works.

When it comes to selflessness, no one can beat Amy. Because of the eight victims from the Blackwell Hotel were sent their way, she decides to for go with the birthday bar hopping to help out Seth and Holden. And for her selflessness, she has great friends, who Holden invites to the human freezer to throw a surprise party for her, complete with a makeshift bar.

Twenty-somethings and alcohol can only lead to one thing, sin. That's something Jacob doesn't need to deal with on top of his injuries and mourning the loss of his mother. If any of these kids decide to have sex on the examining table next to him, he may finally realize that he must become the hand of God that mommy raised him to be.

"See No Evil 2" is the first feature length film that Jen and Sylvia Soska did not write. With two low-budget classics to these auteur's credit ("Dead Hooker in a Trunk" and "American Mary"), it is easy to expect an inferior product since the pen is out of their hand. Fortunately, Nathan Brookes and Bobby Lee Darby seem to have an idea who would direct this feature, so despite it is not a Twisted Twins script, it seemed to be catered to their talents. It still does not show an appreciation to all of their kich, but it at least makes the feature fun unlike its predecessor.

The story allows itself to be goofy, and since this is a film starring a wrestler, that is something that should not be avoided. It comes across as an homage to the high teenage body count films of the 80's and is playful in relying on classic horror and Warner Bros. cliches. Katherine Isabelle of "Ginger Snaps" and "American Mary" fame is excellently cast in this feature since her most notable features are very much about this attitude. If you have never truly taken the American gore genre seriously, which I rarely do, you will not be wasting 90 minutes of your life.

Of course the film has faults. Outside the billed talents and the two male coroners, there is not much great acting displayed in the performances. The limited environment for the story to play out in hinders the film's aesthetic. At least with the first film of the franchise, a mysterious hotel allowed for surprising environments for the characters. Being in a normal building with low ceilings, the surprises only have one spot to appear, right in front of the characters.

The most notable flaws are with the script. It eventually abandons logic and vulnerabilities of the villain, so you may not care about how he can be defeated. Because the Soska's are not allowed to utilize over-the-top-gore, you start to feel indifferent about the death scenes. If it had one scene that was equivalent to the semi-truck arm-severing scene from "Dead Hooker in a Trunk," this could be forgiven. Goodnight's franchise can still have life in it, but these mistakes remove the personality of the draw. Ironic because allowing Goodnight more dialogue and methodical thought patterns was a strength of the film.

"See No Evil 2" may not be a horror classic, but it is amusing enough to give a chance. It also shows that the WWE can build something out of a total let down, if the right minds are behind it. If WWE give the Soskas more control of a sequel, this franchise can only get better. Perhaps the Twisted Twins should manage Roman Reigns.

With the incite presented in this blog, perhaps you'll be inspired to offer your services in my creative effort to promote the production of my screenplay, "Main Event of the Dead."

The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:

• Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
• The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
• Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
• One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
• A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we'll make replacing it a priority.

Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.

If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.