What will I be doing with my downtime since this blog will finish the "Chinese 211: Satire/Movie Reviews" journal? I am fairly confident that Chinese 210 may also have a notebook with many Western ramblings, but that would just be the depressed rants of 28-year old me. It maybe interesting to explore the brink of my last relationship, but again, depressing. After transcribing the review for "Lost Boys: The Tribe", that may have been enough torture for me.
This blog is going to inspire enough extra work. I loved the second and final made-for-video sequel of the classic adventure/horror film. Since there is proof of potential in term of "The Lost Boys" franchise, "The Thirst" must be reviewed.
I never thought I would go out of my way to rent a Corey Feldman title, but when you combine him with anything undead, something interesting should occur. Interesting defines "Bordello of Blood" (at least to the 16-year old Mortonite who still found Dennis Miller to be clever). Since I passed on watching Michael Jackson's funeral, it would not be fair if I passed up on "Lost Boys: The Tribe".
Chris and Nicole Emerson have just moved to California's latest missing persons capital. Who cares about suspected murders if the surf is good especially when it is a haven for the disenchanted heroes of the sport?
Surfing legend Shane Parker takes an interest in the Emerson siblings and will offer them anything to join his vampiric tribe. Nicole is quickly seduced, but luckily surfboard shaper and vampire hunter, the Reverend Edgar Frog is on the scene. Frog will be the perfect mentor to prepare Chris for war against the suck heads, if he can resist their overtures of course.
"Lost Boys 2" does whatever it can to avoid being as gay as its predecessor. An unfair approach to take since not all of Joel Schumacher's films are directly about sausage, but it allows the film to engage to the cult movie fan. Graphic violence (including Tom Savini's guts being busted), gratuitous nudity, and jokes about muscle-bound saxophonist are fun, but this film does not know whether it wants to be a reinvention, a sequel, or a parody.
Despite some great humor at points, a lot of the time the picture wants to either remind us how stupid the first film could be or rip off elements and characters from the classic. Because the only character from the predecessor is Feldman's, it is insulting to want us to feel like this is the same film by coming up with Diane Weist and Barnard Hughes (Lucy and Grandpa) knock offs. It is downright offensive because the landlady is doing an impersonation of an Oscar-winning actress.
It seems like the only thing LB2 wants the viewer to like about the first film is Edgar Frog (Feldman). If that is the case, it would have been a lot more fun if the entire movie was about him. With such lame villains, it would have be far more entertaining to see Feldman in the "Blade" role than a supporting one.
Vampires are suppose to be charismatic, but these surfers are just douchebags. Who would want to be friends with a guy who cannot determine who to channel from "Point Break", Brody or Utah?
These pathetic antagonists are not provided with a twist, so when they are defeated (spoiler), nothing is gained from it. Nothing worthwhile or clever happens, and that is essential to a vampire flick. Since the action in the film does not build to anything, when it stops, the viewer is not satisfied and no amount of gore or breasts will make up for that.
"Lost Boys: The Tribe" wastes all of the good ideas it has, and in an attempt to show that it is not a rip off, celebrates its bad ideas. If gore and nudity does not alienate some to "The Lost Boys" fans, the poor replacement characters will. Corey Feldman is the only reason to rent this disc, but that is for his featurette, not the movie itself.
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