Friday, June 19, 2020

90-min at $9.99 - "Rambo: Last Blood", Stallone Is a Sad Liam Neeson

I need to go to a Family Video at some point to check out what it costs to rent a DVD. $3.99 being a special rental rate for a movie on iTunes seems a bit high. It is especially high when you take into consideration that iTunes has a $4.99 for purchase section.

It has been 10 years since John Rambo had returned to the United States from Thailand, and the ranching life seems to suit him. He is now medicated, but old habits are hard to kick as he maintains a tunnel network under the family home. If anything, his paranoia allows him to be the perfect uncle to the orphaned Gabrielle who he has groomed into an equestrian ace and a scholar.

Despite having a loving family, Gabrielle cannot shake the feeling of being unwanted. This leads her to keep in contact with her delinquent friend Gizelle in Mexico. Her hopes are that her friend maybe able to locate the father who abandoned her. Gizelle succeeds and Gabrielle heads to confront him. Of course Rambo's niece does not know that Gizelle survives by working for a human trafficking's ring. When she does not return, Rambo throws his meds away and crosses the border with bringing along a hammer and a handgun.

Will the arms Rambo brought be enough to take her back? If you are the kingpins who took her, you better hope it is. He is only trying to be a hero. If anything happens to his family, you will be the target of his wrath.

"Rambo: Last Blood" was not as much as a hit when compared to the fourth installment. This left me wondering if it was just a bad movie. After comparing the Rotten Tomatoes scores and not seeing much of a difference, I determined this film deserves a chance to be viewed. This just shows that we need an action movie equivalent to the Tomatoes scale to better serve us fans of gratuitous violence. Too bad "Bloody Elbows" was already taken.

"Last Blood" is a revenge film, but it makes the mistake of having the instigating issue occur at the 45-minute mark. This is not the film I was hoping for. I was not interested in Stallone replacing Neeson in terms of using their particular set of skills. Because Sylvester Stallone wants to show that Rambo is finally civilized, he does not use his special traits when he comes to the rescue. The results only further humanize him, and that is not want I want from this legend.

Also, the action is reserved for the last 15 minutes of the film. Once Rambo finally kills/brutalizes someone in the bastardized predecessors (two through four), the action feels constant. The screenplay allows us to thoroughly enjoy the climax because we want his vengeance to be obtained, but it is not the journey we wanted to take to get there. Being a member of "The Last Jedi" is, at worst, the third best "Star Wars" film camp, I appreciate that Stallone and Matthew Cirulnic tried something new with the formula by attempting to rip our hearts out emotionally, but the past formula cannot be abandoned.

A part from the story missteps, the film suffers from having few opportunities for director Adrian Grunberg to shine. Perhaps he did not have the ability to shine, but I enjoyed his previous theatrical release, "Get the Gringo", so I know he was not talentless. Again, the finale is great, but with everything beyond the Rambo Ranch scenes being shot at night with no environmental effects (rain, dust, etc.), it just feels cheap. There are some scenes that could work in Grindhouse features, but he is making a "Rambo" movie, not a "Machete" sequel, so the efforts are lost on the typical filmgoer.

To get to the goretastic finale, you must love the character of Rambo to enjoy "Last Blood". I fall into that category, but I could see a lot of people being bored with this flick and skip to the literal heart-wrenching conclusion. If only we still had FlixMix ("Boogeymen: The Killer Compilation" and "Ultimate Fights") around to remedy this situation. Could you imagine a compilation film composed of the best scenes from films that might not be worth your time? Now "That's Entertainment."

9Gag - We can relate.

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