*Blog post started on June 2, 2020.
This
week has started by just being awkward. We are given schedules with our
regular hours only to be told that we are not yet ready to start them.
Yes, it is because of the riots that happened Sunday and availability
needs to be adjusted accordingly. No need to be open for white
nationalist to point out where funds might be easily accessible.
With
that said, maybe we need to skip expressing our anger with destruction
and petty looting and skip to robbing banks. Everyone loves a
charismatic bank robber.
It
is good to joke about the civil disobedience and the morons who do not
or refuse to understand it. Humor is my coping mechanism. Too bad it
takes a hell of a lot of work to get to a point where I can talk to my
family about it. Thus, I do not have anyone to talk to about it. The ex
girlfriend is getting antsy to move on to living with her ex fiance who
only lived with her for one year compared to the near four that I have.
My cat(s) are great company, but tough to converse with. Never mind that
it would be redundant. Their opinion is obvious about humanity. Burn it
down.
So
I woke up early on Monday to be three hours early. The bank closed for
the day two and a half hours into my shift. This left me with way too
much time. I did not know what to do with myself, so I was in bed before
11 pm. Noon was when I got out of bed and started the day, so at least I
was finally able to hibernate. Hence, the biggest frustration for
having a busy work shift was forgetting to document which blog posts
needed to be published yesterday.
This
might not necessarily be a bad thing. I might want to avoid releasing
my latest political blog with how things are going. Only because it just
does not involve the George Floyd situation directly. You will get the
assholes I will call out saying that I am making it all about myself. It
would be better for all of us if I just posted my "Bitch Slap" review
from nine years prior. But now is the time to call out all the lousy
cocksuckers (to just say cocksucker would not be an insult), and you
know what side anyone who has a library of memes about the race card
will be on.
It
would not be fair to call them out without giving them notice that I
will be calling them out. They would have to stick around for this post
to know that. Good thing it is not the time to be fair. Here is to
hoping that they will at least enjoy a review for a Polish mermaid rock
musical. These fuckers will probably refer to that nations current
political scene on how to handle the godless, so the "The Lure" might be
right up their alley.
"The Lure"
Gold
and Silver a two aquatic sister of the siren variety. They swam up to
try and draw in a family that makes a living as the Warsaw club band
"Figs n' Dates" with their song, but they seemingly are met with a
counter offer. Instead of eating the prey, why not be the biggest
sensation in Poland by joining the music scene of the land? Approving
the proposal leads to the formation of "The Lure".
Success
is immediately found, but the sisters quickly start growing apart. Gold
knows she has got to eat, so trying to feed on the audience takes up
her spare time while also resisting overtures to join a merman-lead punk
band. Silver on the other hand has fallen in love with band mate
Mietek, and her situation seems more dire.
Mietek
has no interest in a girl that he cannot have traditional coitus with.
To get legs and a vagina, it will cost Silver her voice. If she fails to
win his affections, she will end up turning into sea foam. Ursula did
not seem this cruel. But who has the time to recognize cruelty,
especially when you obviously know more than your big sister?
"The
Lure" does seem to lack substance, but what musical does not. No, I
have not seen "Hamilton". Is that show touring? Have I wasted my shot?
The
feature does deliver on everything a somewhat low-key show should.
There is enough spectacle to amuse true fans of the genre. It has a
music video feel at many points for those who yearn for the nineties and
MTV's Weekly Top 20. Most importantly, "The Lure" seems to give every
mermaid legend/myth/fable some recognition. This film is a love story to
the tales that created the Disney Princess franchise and Jasmine
Beckett Griffin's art.
It
may have been tough for the acting to have an international appeal.
There is the language barrier of course, but musicals are about two
types of performances so it maybe a greater challenge for the actors.
Marta Mazurek character of Gold is written well that a reserved
portrayal works, but Michalina Olszanska's Silver is written as a very
layered character and she does not capture the emotional range to praise
her performance.
The
rest of the characters are accessories to the story, and aside from one
musical number, they do not need to shine and none of them try to eat
of the scenery. That would have at least livened things up when the
musical elements takes a step back to melodrama.
Despite
its shortcomings, which also include the effects, the film is a bit of
fun. Its effects are adequate and enough for the story, but it does not
give us horror fans enough. The music is more enjoyable than what I find
the American top 40 to be. You will want to dance. You will want to
rock. It is the closest thing to an industrial rock concert I will get
to for a while. It does not bombard you too much with the spectacle.
More
importantly, if you have any degree of knowledge of what Ariel's
adventures should have been, "The Lure" provides you that fan service.
For a fan of pop culture juggernauts that people complain about, it is
great to walk into mermaid fiction that is not beholden to any past
story. It is for nerdy know it alls, and that is why it works on at
least some level for any fan of strange cinema.
"The
Lure" is a film for cinema fans who want to further expand their
horizons in story possibilities. It is by no means perfect, but how
would you expect a horror/comedy musical about man-eating mermaids to
end up. The fun music, the knowledge of subject matter, and ridiculous
premise and spectacle alone is guaranteed to provide some enjoyment for
all oddball cinema fans.
This
is the closest to Hans Christian Andersen we have gotten since Danny
Kay. It is best to appreciate "The Lure" if only for that.
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