If it does not involve pro-wrestling, this is Russ Stevens's effort to create the one stop blog for movies that are cut to the ideal run-time, 90 minutes. This blog may feature films that may range from 71 minutes to 1 hour 40 minutes, but 101 minutes and up are too long. An hour and a half can justify cutting a film into two chapters and a book into three. Hobbits and Katniss have too many ending, consider this an effort to stop that.
I am doing my best to enjoy these slow times at the bank. With Republicans threatening to let this country default on its debts me technically being a government contractor, it is more important than ever to enjoy every moment.
That is definitely tricky when your mom has to be COVID-free to head to London this weekend. It is bad enough that I have not heard any news on what the bank will do about the unvaccinated who surround me for nine hours a day. My visit this past weekend had hopes of checking out the Peoria bar scene, but that kind of exposure could ruin my mom's next three weeks. I would never here the end of that.
Which is why I need help from my readers and friends. "NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast" needs guests and I need something to keep me inside. For October, the natural thing to do is to focus on horror movies and I will acknowledge, my experience with many of the slasher franchises is lacking. Almost all the franchises have at least one feature that clocks in between 74 and 99 minutes. If you want to be my expert, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com and we can set up a time for a Zoom meeting. Each episode needs to be recorded by Sunday before the Tuesday that it is to be released. Thanks.
If you cannot be a guest, I am still in need of suggestions for horror features to watch. Which Jason and Freddy flicks are worth the time. Are there any good "Halloween" sequels beyond "2", "H2O" and "2018"? Are "Child's Play" and "Seed of Chucky" all I need to know where the cool doll-based gore is because last night, I went for a "Video Nasty". Unfortunately, it sure felt like the UK cut of "Don't Go in the House".
Don't Go in the House (1979)
Donny has an obsession with fire. This stems from his father abandoning the family when he was five. Deeming that man as evil, thus anyone spawned from him must be the same, Donny's mother was determined to burn the evil out of her son, literally. The fear instilled into Donny has lead to him never having the nerve to leave her, so he has essentially been her live-in nurse his entire life. His only relief is being mesmerized by the flames at the incinerator he works at.
One night, he returns from work to find that his mother has died. When he is about to call the authorities, voices manifest telling him to celebrate the new found freedom instead. Unfortunately for Donny, these are not the only voices that he hears. His mother is still demanding that he be an obedient and good child. The new found friends suggest that the answer is purifying his mother's corpse with flames.
Of course, when your only relationship with any women is your mom, you may rationalize that all women are the same as her. With a flamethrower and his newly installed steel-walled room, he will bring purity to this world, one woman at a time.
"Don't Go in the House" lays some great groundwork for eventually banned by Great Britain films like "Maniac" when it comes to the story. Unfortunately, it is all suggestions of imagery instead of actually delivering the brutality. Just because it had been associated with the video nasties, I was kind of disappointed that there is only one scene of genuine terror and no spectacular gore.
The overbearing mother trope obviously dates back to "Psycho", but late 70s' early 80s' horror elevated the psychopathic notions. I think there are well written scenes in this feature that explore how a nutcase would handle living around corpses with a need for interactions. Much of the time, this film comes across as a one-man show. Dan Grimaldi does not quite have the charisma or chops to carry those scenes. Without people to interact with, his performance appears lost.
The lack of an outstanding performance without a large amount of gore results in a lot of real-time research temptations. There are great odes to Italian horror movies with some sequences of the charred corpses coming to life, but it just reminds you that this is not a messed up giallo film. I liked the ending proving that Proud Boys are not hard to make, but it is not enough a reward for the time that has passed.
"Don't Go in the House" has a strong enough script for an interesting movie, but the lack of actual horror holds this feature back. It is not a waste of time because it lays out a nice prototype for what the genre was to become, but this lacks the bells and whistles to be regarded as ready to be released to the public. If you want to see the history that leads up to over the top mayhem, you may get something from this feature. Otherwise, just skip to "Maniac's" uber misogyny.
*Blog post started on August 13, 2020.
Medical appointments have passed, but with a one month follow up scheduled. Yes, I am still stressed about that. And yes, I am too honest to just cancel an appointment because it would not work with my schedule and wait till my next health scare.
Any other stress is probably undue bullshit. The Snapchat girl is sending mixed messages, going from work focus to "why can't a man satisfy me?" mode. Why do you not tell me to get over there and take care of you?
To make matters work, I at least got girls talking on three other platforms. This leaves me with three other conversations to worry about. Should I message them just to make sure they know I am still interested? Did I cross the line with some political commentary? Do they only chat from nine to five?
And there are of course the blog posts that I need to all have prepared before my vacation. Because I got to justify my Netflix DVD subscription, my most recent disc had to get back to Carol Stream before the next billing period. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" is next up which is good because I got to slow down my output for NinetyForChill.com. But until we get to the way I should be handling my Terry Gilliam collection (To my credit, my copies of "Brazil" and "12 Monkeys" were both purchased at heavily discounted prices.), we must tread through another post 2015 action movie starring Sylvester Stallone.
"Escape Plan" was an amusing enough movie that may have taken itself a little too seriously. With two sequels being shot back-to-back, one would suspect any other franchise to be taking itself way too seriously. Fortunately, when you realize these flicks are solely for the Chinese mainland (Free Hong Kong!), it is easy enough to relax and enjoy "Escape Plan 2: Hades" for the braid dead trash that I hoped "Rambo: Last Blood" would have been.
Escape Plan 2: Hades (2018, 1 hour 36 minutes)
Breslin Security has expanded from prison breaks to encompass rescue missions. With Ray Breslin tired of doing the physical work required in testing the effectiveness of prison security, Shu serves as his top agent. Unfortunately, the last bout with terrorists only allowed for half the assets to make it back home. If fellow agent Kimbral had skipped trying to further promote Breslin by blowing up the terrorists' weapons cache and arrived at the rendezvous on time, the results would probably have been different.
Ray fires Kimbral and puts Shu on leave to work on his team leadership skills. Shu decides to head back to Shanghai to visit his family, and make sure nothing happens to his satellite genius cousin, Yusheng, at a Bangkok bachelor party. At least being at his cousin's side means he will not have be alone when they are kidnapped to soon awake in a black op prison site called H.A.D.E.S.
The Zookeeper has been hired by a Swiss competitor to Yusheng. Shu and his cousin are there to be tortured until they give up the patent information for Yusheng's new satellite communication technology. HADES is far more complex than the last prison Ray broke out of and with the Zookeeper having inmates fight for luxuries, how long can our protagonists last?
We know Ray is going to do anything he can to get Shu out, including recruiting the towering DeRosa to give them some extra firepower, but will not make a move until he is certain of success. It is all a matter of figuring out the location and layout of the prison. Time is one thing Shu has and with Kimbral being a fellow inmate, what he has learned from Ray gives him all he needs to win the day. But after all the damage that Breslin has done to the private prison industry, things seem far too easy.
"Escape Plan 2: Hades" starts out like any silly 80's action movie, but it makes a sudden turn to attempt and capture "The Matrix" cool aesthetic that exposes all of its weaknesses. It is kind of like "Tron" without the teleporting laser and smooth incorporation of effects. With punching and kicking being your primary means of action, our characters are not in the right movie. Especially Stallone who I do not believe knows how to kick.
I suppose the concept of a computer controlled prison allows for twists to constantly occur, but the narrative is far too predicable. The idea is to make the audience to try and figure out the puzzle as they go along. Its mistake is the constant twists to mock us just when the nerds develop a theory on how the protagonist can escape. This leads the audience to just quit caring, so only the stupidity of villain(s) can the film get them reinvested. That is a whole lot of stupid.
Director Steven C. Miller is accustomed to making stupid films. He directed a fun remake of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" ("Silent Night), but that film featured a script that does not necessarily make sense as it works to a big reveal. What made the film fun was a cast of screen chewers and shocking violence. The film chewer in "Escape Plan 2" is Stallone who is essentially there only for his brand value. He is not the lead, so he cannot chew the fat off of this film.
As for the violence, you get one great fight scene, otherwise the film is too quick to resolve its scenes. This leaves the flick with nothing for Miller to catch and over expose. If it left us with graphic scenes to linger on, it would play towards Miller's strengths. It also lacks a sense of humor or clever wit that can save an action movie. All of that is reserved for Dave Bautista's screen time. Since the third film in the franchise also features him, you have to admire the writer, Miles Chapman, doing the bare minimum to leave the audience wanting more.
"Escape Plan 2: Hades" might have figured out how to make a Chinese-funded trilogy work, leaving the audience just interested enough for a third film. In this case, I think this interest stems from wanting justification for putting up with a quickly produced sequel that lacks heart. It has some fun moments, but it also wants to prove itself smarter than its audience.
"HADES" might show up the audience with its twists to indicate intelligence, but it does not change the fact that it is built on a metaphoric swamp. How smart can you be if you are still sinking? Hopefully the wreckage of this castle will be enough to serve as a sturdy base for "Escape Plan: The Extractors".
Bonus: Scottish Panels Galore @ GalaxyCon Des Moines - Day 2
CatBusRussmay have missed the "Speed Friending" event as he recovered from the stress of making it to day one of GalaxyCon Des Moines(Never mind the stress of his personal dramas.), but he worked his promotional butt off and is damn near out of the con's "I Dig Crazy Flicks" buttons. This is thanks to the help of Jess McCordof the tabletop RPG "Skies of Fortune". The two guested on each others' panels respectively and had so much fun, Russ nearly lost his Yeti microphone.
But ThePoeticCritic may think that is justified because he was in a rush to get to see his first John Barrowman panel. It was a fun show, but Barrowman's lack of humbleness leads our host to believe he getting paid way too much to frolic around and curse at conventions. If only the appreciative Karen Gillan's panel would have followed his instead, CatBus may have felt better about his love for the country that is cool with the C-word.
Russ also had fun running into some familiar faces from his travels this year, and if it was not for his hard out, Darby Harn from ScreenRant (Check him out on the "The Last Jedi" episode.) would have had him as a guest on his "Humanity of Superman" panel. Perchance this professional nerd gig may pay off for this kid from Peoria.
Episode 237 - Dante Hicks's Sentimental Swear Words, GalaxyCon Des Moines (Day 3), and 'Dario Argento's Dark Glasses'
This was an insightful panel where our host was impressed about how active he is in film and television, and every actor's fascination with Jason Mewes. It also gave CatBus a sound byte to open this episode with. If Russ is not tempting the Hollywood big wigs to start sending out cease and desist letters, is he putting enough effort in promoting this podcast?
With October coming up, CatBus has been trying to figure out when to release all of his banked podcasts/panels (Hopefully to coincide with Spooky Month). While he was figuring out that schedule, he decided to post up a review for the latest feature from Dario Argento, "Dark Glasses". Russ is going to be on Jamie Ray's "Fave Five from Fans" podcast where the two will discuss all elements of the Italian auteur's career some Friday in the upcoming weeks, until it doesn't.
Follow me on Bluesky @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
I might be making this post too difficult. After starting up "The Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling" blog, a schedule of when certain posts were supposed to be released was established. So some my personal opinions timeline is going to involve a bit of shuffling. The biggest fear, the topical stuff will not be that in the next two weeks.
…five minutes later.
#SpeakingOut is still coming up on Wrestling Inc. headlines, so I can be optimistic that the attitude about the scene will not change. Ring of Honor says they are going to address the sexual assault accusation brought up against one of their head bookers. They said they will investigate it, but with Jay Lethal still being on the roster despite his indiscretions, if action is taken, I will have material to continue blogging about the movement. This schedule though leaves me behind in terms of addressing the movement, when I could feel like I was amongst the first.
So far, 40 has shown how far behind I have been. I have attempted to be a voice against racism ("Racism Can Play in Peoria. What About Your Local Wrestling"), but it took me another five years to attend my first protest. Tomorrow is going to be the first time that I have ever given blood. Being afraid of needles gave me an excuse for 23 years, but after my wrist and inevitable reign over Peoria wrestling was broken, that is not the case. When you see pins with pus leaking from them in your arm, you will rationalize how you handle other pointy metal things being inserted into your body.
Another first for 40 that involves insertion would be a prostate exam. A parental freak out about a dermatitis breakout left OSF realizing that I may have been trying to avoid attentive medical care. I figured I could slip past the system for a year since my last labs, but they are going to get on me about actually finding a practitioner now. The biggest issue is going back to the beginning when it comes to my type two diabetes concerns.
They were probably right in doing whatever labs they could, but the circumstances were not fair. I was in Morton when this went down, so of course I was eating shit during that 90-minute drive. Obviously blood sugars were high, and based on that, it is back to the beginning about caring for my condition. With the exception of my last doctor, everybody forces me to endure the lecture about the need to focus on vegetables and laying off the booze. Unless they are going to give me a medicinal marijuana card, nothing will change. Give me a card, and half of the conditions might.
The following is a suggestion to encourage men of my age to care about their health and cancer concerns. Reward those who need to deal with a prostate exam the medical weed card. I think the doctors would be surprised to find out what we will do for drugs. Granted, the exam no longer intimidates me, but that is some personal stuff you probably do not want me to get into.
With all the firsts I am dealing with, it is indeed ironic that my best received blog was "40 Years is Enough". In the end, I am just like Peoria, always 10 years behind. At least my love for the hometown is now established. It just sucks to realize that I am socially retarded. How many wise, leftist women have been pitying me?
Zombieland: Double Tap
It has been 10 years since the zombie outbreak, but aside from the undead evolving into tougher, smarter or dumber beings, not much has changed. And that has become a problem for the timid Columbus, the fearless Tallahassee, the independent Wichita, and the restless Little Rock. After Columbus tries to shake things up with the bold move of proposing to Wichita, she and Little Rock write a beyond brief note to let the boys know that they are going their own way.
After losing his reason to be fatherly, Tallahassee is considering this a sign to be the explorer that his Blackfoot ancestors were while Columbus is quick to go to bed with the recently discovered, vapid Pinkberry freezer dweller Madison. These new lifestyles must take a backseat when Wichita returns to reload on ammunition to track down her sister who has gone on a pilgrimage to Graceland with snooty hipster and pacifist Berkley.
Despite his recent fling, Columbus sees this as a chance to win back Wichita. Tallahassee cannot pass up an opportunity to visit Elvis's home and punch Berkley. If Madison proves to not be too much of an annoyance, the mission seems rather simple. With 73 rules to protect them, what can possiblye go wrong?
If you enjoyed the first "Zombieland" as much as I did for its characters, this is a worthwhile sequel. It hits the same notes as the first like any comedy sequel but does not burden itself with wilder challenges for the characters to make sure the audience stays invested. This film is a band's sophomore effort.
After "Venom" and "Gangster Squad", you realize that Ruben Fleisner is not much of a director and his efforts to produce epic shots can wear thin. But being a straight out comedy, you are not focusing on those efforts. This means it is all about the script which suffers a bit since our characters are already established. In other words, the film cannot bring anything new to the table. Hence, if you like the characters, it will work for you. I will say that I could have done without the attempt to be overly meta with the Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch characters.
And the attempt to be meta may have been the excuse to provide the film with a lighter feel. Eventually the film ends up with a pacifist hippie commune. If you are watching a movie that prides itself on gore and humorous demises, you got to up the body count when it comes to annoying characters. You have a guaranteed audience with this sequel. The writers should have upped the extremes that they would take to impress the loyal fan base. At least we get treated to an early, and perhaps the greatest, mid credit sequence to guarantee that the viewing was worthwhile.
"Zombieland: Double Tap" is an amusing sequel for the fans of the first, but does not elevate the humor from the first film. The characters are protected very well, so it a good sequel, but feels more like a reunion feature than an effort to build upon the predecessor's greatness. You will get some enjoyment out of this flick, but you will not be asking for a "Triple Tap" despite the alliteration.
I happen to be a fan of director Paul W.S. Anderson, but he has a horrid tendency of missing the point. That is apparent with the direction of the "Resident Evil" franchise (Why would anyone write a film that brings out the worst from Russell Mulcahy?). There was his good "AVP" film that should have targeted an R-Rating just to prevent its bad and overly violent sequel.
Anderson's most recent flawed tale is "Death Race", an action drama without the camp/best elements of the film it was based on "Death Race 2000". It also lacked the dark humor and dead pedestrians. Since Uwe Boll has not obtained the rights to "Carmageddon", why would one abandon the grindhouse feel of this David Carradine/Sylvester Stallone classic?
The American way is to embrace violence, so say the president of the totalitarian United American Provinces. What better way to do so than by hosting an annual transcontinental rally known as the Death Race?
The nation's five best racers: Calamity Jane, Nero the Hero, Matilda the Hun, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, and the rebuilt Frankenstein, will race across the country, from New York to New Los Angeles. Of course with so many miles to cover, the race would be pretty boring if they did not encourage running down the poor saps who happen to be on or near the routes. It is the first true sport that it is not about winning or losing, but how you choose to maim.
"Death Race 2000" shows how America has lost its sense of fun and imagination. Everything today is bleak as if we have given up because there is no threat of Russian Imperialism or American Fascism (The first draft of this review was written in 2010.). Our governments are stable and anarchy has no chance of changing the landscape of things to come. Marshall law or the kill or be killed mindset is just too impractical. It make me wonder how the "Escape From New York" remake will be worthwhile.
"Death Race 2000" is a vintage B-movie that may feature the only truly villainous Sylvester Stallone. Most of the budget must have went into designing the cars because the sets are beyond cheesy.
For the most part, the film delivers on action but we are kind of let down by anti-climatic deaths of the drivers. There is plenty of collateral damage, but no true car on car violence. This is a film where you want to joyfully cringe at the carnage. There is no room for a funny ha ha kill of our primary cast.
Aside from that, you cannot help but enjoy the premise and the tacky Roger Corman nature. It holds nothing back in terms of being gratuitous making it a brilliant grindhouse picture.
"Death Race 2000" is a prime example of the freedom cinema once had. A film for video game fans and anyone else with an American dark...black sense of humor. Nothing is tame about this film and the filmmakers need to start embracing that attitude once again.
Episode 236: The 5:40 A24 Elevated Horror Marathon in Alphabetical Order (Death of a Unicorn, Heretic, Men, Midsommar)
For GalaxyCon Des Moines, CatBusRuss and the Dread Pirate Syzer from Skies of Fortune are going to be guests on each others' panels. Our podcast host thinks that maybe DPS got the easier assignment since he will just have to argue that the best movies are over 100 minutes in length at the "I Dig Crazy Flicks Presents: Ninety For Chill - The Panel" (2 pm, Saturday, September 13). Russ, on the other hand, needs to quickly become an expert in A24 movies for the Dread Pirate's "A24: HORROR GOES TO THE ARTHOUSE" (8 pm, Saturday, September 13). Thus, this episode of "I Dig Crazy Flicks" (only one feature fits the ideal runtime between 70 and 100 minutes) focuses on his four-movie, preparation binge.
After receiving a list of movies from the panel host, CatBus was relieved that he had covered many of these films on this podcast ("Saint Maud", "X", "Pearl", "MaXXXine", "We're All Going to the World's Fair"). He also saw "The Witch" when it arrived at RedBox and you know he has seen every Kevin Smith movie, so "Tusk" did not need to be re-queued.
The films that he picked for this binge all had something to entice him except for one. Ari Aster maybe the name best associated with elevated horror, but CatBusRuss was always suspicious of this. When it comes to elevated, Russ thought it meant the runtime in Aster's case. Therefore, he chose to watch "Midsommar", the one with the middle range of his features (148 minutes).
CatBusRuss will come into the capital of Iowa with 11 movies from the studio seared into his brain. That is nearly one per year of A24's existence. Will that be enough to gain the rank of expert?
As for his two panels at GalaxyCon, he will be providing punch and pie to as many audience members as possible. His first panel will be "1985 TRIPLE THREAT MATCH: STALLONE V. SCHWARZENEGGER V. CANNON GROUP" (Friday, September 12, 7 pm). Will we actually declare a winner or will this be another draw like ATL Comic Convention?
Bonus Episode - Making MegaForce @ GalaxyCon Des Moines - Day 1
Out podcast host learns he may have to keep up with what the kids love after a well conceived panel, "Eternal Love: Vampire Media Renaissance", out draws those celebrities.
CatBusRuss is putting up his best fight to keep pushing "I Dig Crazy Flicks" to recognition. There has been a lot of drama in his life recently with the state of Illinois, a sibling who is not as cool as ThePoeticCritic, and losing his primary job due to a typing error. That is a lot of stress to leave at home for a short notice opportunity to take part in GalaxyCon Des Moines 2025.
This resulted in a tougher drive to a new convention center which took half an hour to figure out the layout of. No time for the show floor, so the panels better deliver. Thankfully, they have, and he had a decent sized audience for the 1985 Triple Threat Rematch. Things may finally be looking up for the CatBus.
Follow me on Bluesky @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
