I finally got to that physician assistant appointment, and I do not know if I can say that was a good idea. A haircut could have probably taken care of my contact dermatitis. The need for them to build a profile of me has led to me being borderline anxious, and in turn, I realize all the stress I am dealing with now as my family is settling into the true retirement lifestyle. Being challenged to lose 10 pounds in a month led me think that I took on the bank's health insurance just to be judged.
I will give her some credit, she is hoping that I get healthy enough to no longer need such high amounts of medication. My past doctor was a live and let be kind of guy. Her efforts were so appreciative that "nihilism helps" was not one of my responses.
Fortunately, the two cats are very helpful. I went to bed last night with the feeling that everyone has lost faith in me and recalling that my family has not had faith in me since I chose to leave the path that lead to Caterpillar offices. Skimble wants everyone he cares about to feel good all the time. The annoying little shit. The real compassion was displayed by Eva when she made that somewhat inconvenient leap on to the living room's twin bed to comfort me as I fear that I will be left to a depressing adulthood since my parents seem to be hinting to letting me totally fend for myself.
The more depressing thing is realizing that I am thought of as a trust fund baby. From an outsider's perspective, how else would you define me? My feeling is my folks may have realized it when I actively defended Black Light Matters. No white spawn of one percenters should have any business ignoring the difficulty acknowledging systemic racism will cause them.
The spread of economic equality means blacks and browns will inevitably move to the burbs and nice small towns. This would result in whites having to accept their cultures and surrender their paranoia and conservatism. Why cannot they be desperate immigrants who are cool with Goya who wanted to emulate us?
I do not think I act like a spoiled brat. What I am is a clinically depressed person who everyone thinks just needs to get over it. Accept my depression and how life is not fair and focus solely on stockpiling money that does not go towards my rent or insurance. It will be miserable, but someday, there will be retirement to enjoy. Adulthood is not fun, but what is the other option?
According to my physician assistant, journaling can help.
I am in a very misunderstood place and that has been all of my adulthood. You need to try and understand, not give up me.
And that is how you transition from my depressing life to 1972's "Silent Running". It is a film about people giving up on inconvenient things despite the beauty that they offer.
When it comes to beauty, I do not think I offer much. Just call me the reincarnation of Louis the Drone. If only I had space on my robot wrist to memorialize him.
Silent Running
Humans have given rabbits a run for their money in terms of breeding, but with a lack of suitable planets to colonize, how are they to come up with space for all of the people. Since deforestation never slowed down, clearing the world of vegetation and relying on synthetically constructed food, homo sapiens can survive on Earth indefinitely. It is even easier to be an Earthling because to keep up the means to create a comfortable 75-degree weather across the planet, everyone has a job. Humanity triumph over nature results in a comfort no one should reject.
Of course there was resistance to the idea of destroying all of the forests and encouraging mass extinctions in the name of progress. To address the naysayers, American Airlines Galactic Shipping have devoted a fleet of ships to maintain terrariums. Once the planet can allow for forestations, they will be transplanted back to Earth.
Be it the bottom line or just a dead soil, it is eventually determined that it is just too much work to maintain these galactic forests. The crews of these ships for the most part seem to agree, and they welcome the opportunity to nuke them all and head back home. Only one person thinks differently and determines that the beauty of nature must live on at any cost. This person is Freeman Lowell.
Lowell makes the rash decision to kill his fellow crewmates and make a run for the outer reaches of the solar system. Faking an accident to allow him to take this adventure on, he determines the vastness of space will prevent search parties and any chance for humans to finish the job of eliminating anything that is wild. The question is, can one man and a set of drone robots maintain the best parts of Earth, let alone Freeman's sanity?
"Silent Running" is a beautifully shot film with a lead character who is explored extremely well for a feature with a 89-minute runtime. For a viewer like me who has only seen Bruce Dern portray cranky, borderline evil old men, it was quite refreshing to see him portray a character that we sympathize with. But, if you want that cranky nature, he is still portraying someone who wants you to stay off his grass.
The set design and outer space scenes look marvelous. It made me wonder why it took Hollywood another five years before we got "Star Wars". I would dare say the special effects still hold up to George Lucas's original trilogy's standards. This film was from a time where science fiction was primarily there to teach us, and with the Joan Baez soundtrack, you could not justify that this space film to warrant dog fights.
There only being one character to focus on and relate to, the film does not need extra special effect sequences. You see Lowell as a crusader who knows there is no going back to what he was suppose to be. The film is about him accepting that and how we need to be more willing to prevent a so called dystopia/utopia that require no effort. Its story nearly pulls at every emotion, and you leave feeling exhilarated going on such a thorough and brief journey.
I have long needed to give "Logan's Run" a thorough rewatch. "Silent Running" left me feeling like I had just watched the most important pre-"Star Wars" science fiction feature of the 1970's. To go and claim that it is without rewatching "Run" would be irresponsible.
I thought this would give me a reason to also rewatch "Rollerball", but their is a sense of that feature being grounded in a more relatable reality. Douglass Trumbull's directorial debut takes you to another world that you are glad to visit and hope will never become a reality. Who does not want to chase someone down in roller skates to knock them out with a studded glove? I can live with corporations ruling everything. I cannot live without trees.
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