I
finally got to that physician assistant appointment, and I do not know
if I can say that was a good idea. A haircut could have probably taken
care of my contact dermatitis. The need for them to build a profile of
me has led to me being borderline anxious, and in turn, I realize all
the stress I am dealing with now as my family is settling into the true
retirement lifestyle. Being challenged to lose 10 pounds in a month led
me think that I took on the bank's health insurance just to be judged.
I
will give her some credit, she is hoping that I get healthy enough to
no longer need such high amounts of medication. My past doctor was a
live and let be kind of guy. Her efforts were so appreciative that
"nihilism helps" was not one of my responses.
Fortunately,
the two cats are very helpful. I went to bed last night with the
feeling that everyone has lost faith in me and recalling that my family
has not had faith in me since I chose to leave the path that lead to
Caterpillar offices. Skimble wants everyone he cares about to feel good
all the time. The annoying little shit. The real compassion was
displayed by Eva when she made that somewhat inconvenient leap on to the
living room's twin bed to comfort me as I fear that I will be left to a
depressing adulthood since my parents seem to be hinting to letting me
totally fend for myself.
The
more depressing thing is realizing that I am thought of as a trust fund
baby. From an outsider's perspective, how else would you define me? My
feeling is my folks may have realized it when I actively defended Black
Light Matters. No white spawn of one percenters should have any business
ignoring the difficulty acknowledging systemic racism will cause them.
The
spread of economic equality means blacks and browns will inevitably
move to the burbs and nice small towns. This would result in whites
having to accept their cultures and surrender their paranoia and
conservatism. Why cannot they be desperate immigrants who are cool with
Goya who wanted to emulate us?
I
do not think I act like a spoiled brat. What I am is a clinically
depressed person who everyone thinks just needs to get over it. Accept
my depression and how life is not fair and focus solely on stockpiling
money that does not go towards my rent or insurance. It will be
miserable, but someday, there will be retirement to enjoy. Adulthood is
not fun, but what is the other option?
According to my physician assistant, journaling can help.
I am in a very misunderstood place and that has been all of my adulthood. You need to try and understand, not give up me.
And
that is how you transition from my depressing life to 1972's "Silent
Running". It is a film about people giving up on inconvenient things
despite the beauty that they offer.
When
it comes to beauty, I do not think I offer much. Just call me the
reincarnation of Louis the Drone. If only I had space on my robot wrist
to memorialize him.
Silent Running
Humans
have given rabbits a run for their money in terms of breeding, but with
a lack of suitable planets to colonize, how are they to come up with
space for all of the people. Since deforestation never slowed down,
clearing the world of vegetation and relying on synthetically
constructed food, homo sapiens can survive on Earth indefinitely. It is
even easier to be an Earthling because to keep up the means to create a
comfortable 75-degree weather across the planet, everyone has a job.
Humanity triumph over nature results in a comfort no one should reject.
Of
course there was resistance to the idea of destroying all of the
forests and encouraging mass extinctions in the name of progress. To
address the naysayers, American Airlines Galactic Shipping have devoted a
fleet of ships to maintain terrariums. Once the planet can allow for
forestations, they will be transplanted back to Earth.
Be
it the bottom line or just a dead soil, it is eventually determined
that it is just too much work to maintain these galactic forests. The
crews of these ships for the most part seem to agree, and they welcome
the opportunity to nuke them all and head back home. Only one person
thinks differently and determines that the beauty of nature must live on
at any cost. This person is Freeman Lowell.
Lowell
makes the rash decision to kill his fellow crewmates and make a run for
the outer reaches of the solar system. Faking an accident to allow him
to take this adventure on, he determines the vastness of space will
prevent search parties and any chance for humans to finish the job of
eliminating anything that is wild. The question is, can one man and a
set of drone robots maintain the best parts of Earth, let alone
Freeman's sanity?
"Silent
Running" is a beautifully shot film with a lead character who is
explored extremely well for a feature with a 89-minute runtime. For a
viewer like me who has only seen Bruce Dern portray cranky, borderline
evil old men, it was quite refreshing to see him portray a character
that we sympathize with. But, if you want that cranky nature, he is
still portraying someone who wants you to stay off his grass.
The
set design and outer space scenes look marvelous. It made me wonder why
it took Hollywood another five years before we got "Star Wars". I would
dare say the special effects still hold up to George Lucas's original
trilogy's standards. This film was from a time where science fiction was
primarily there to teach us, and with the Joan Baez soundtrack, you
could not justify that this space film to warrant dog fights.
There
only being one character to focus on and relate to, the film does not
need extra special effect sequences. You see Lowell as a crusader who
knows there is no going back to what he was suppose to be. The film is
about him accepting that and how we need to be more willing to prevent a
so called dystopia/utopia that require no effort. Its story nearly
pulls at every emotion, and you leave feeling exhilarated going on such a
thorough and brief journey.
I
have long needed to give "Logan's Run" a thorough rewatch. "Silent
Running" left me feeling like I had just watched the most important
pre-"Star Wars" science fiction feature of the 1970's. To go and claim
that it is without rewatching "Run" would be irresponsible.
I
thought this would give me a reason to also rewatch "Rollerball", but
their is a sense of that feature being grounded in a more relatable
reality. Douglass Trumbull's directorial debut takes you to another
world that you are glad to visit and hope will never become a reality.
Who does not want to chase someone down in roller skates to knock them
out with a studded glove? I can live with corporations ruling
everything. I cannot live without trees.
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