Feast III: The One with an "Ironic" Title

It is a good thing they chose not to call this film “Happy Ending” because this felt like a legitimate massage. You go through a lot and give up your time to have it, but if you don’t get a release, buy one of those chairs from Sharper Image instead of a Hooter’s waitress that has moved on.

"Feast III" makes up for Feast II being a low budget film that tried to shoot everything on a soundstage, but blows it on being the "Happy Finish" to what could have been horror series of the decade. It the end, it just handed the title to Danny Boyle’s pet projects.

The rooftop refugees from the attack of the indeterminate beasts must make their escape. With the additions of the redneck survivalist, the short bus riding prophet who seems to have the ability to ward off the monsters, and the karate expert straight out of the Chuck Norris impersonators era, will they stand a chance against not only the horny and hungry demons, but the breed of zombie that their vomit seems to have created.

Why I did not review Feast II? Because they filmed both of the original's sequels simultaneously, I did not want to pass judgment on the individual parts. Feast III, gives the viewers a bigger middle finger than The Sopranos, the second Newhart show, or every other Family Guy episode can offer. This is sad because until that point, the film had made its predecessor worthwhile. If they would have got out the puker angle in this one and the existence of Honey Pie subplot, they could have given us one great movie instead of the par and subpar films Dimension Extreme distributed.

And Jon Gulager could have still had his Sleepaway Camp ending. The ending was done as a laugh, but it feels like the writers just wanted to be done with the franchise. No mariachi number can take the taste of the ending away.

If you purchase the sequels (because Family Video in Morton didn’t carry them), you will initially feel disappointed, then you should realize the fun that can be had with these. I think it is great when a DVD inspires you to listen to a commentary track, and the third film does that. With the right beer or the right cheap vodka (Sobieski isn’t Svedka, but it’ll work), I’m sure a drinking game can be developed thus making it a worthwhile double feature.

Since Feast II: Sloppy Seconds and Feast III: The Happy Finish do work as great B-Movies, fans of that genre will enjoy these sequels for the ridiculous and gratuitous nature they embrace.These two films do not serve as great Indie movies, so it feels that the writers and director may have underestimated the intelligence of their audience. If you aren’t into niche pictures, buy Feast, and try to find the sequels on the Blockbuster shelves if you dare. As I said dare, don’t put these in the Netflix cue, so that they cannot catch you in the mail unaware.