*Blog post was started on October 4, 2021.
It was a productive weekend that was well worth the hangovers. My stomach was able to settle after the seasonal sinus drainage was exasperated, so with the recovery, I feel about as good as I possibly can. There was no time for laundry. If anything, that tells you not to second guess buying an old Nintendo 64 cartridge (especially when it was "Goldeneye"). If there was not a second trip to make that purchase, my clothes would be clean.
Here is to hoping for cooler weather to set in. With all my tattoos, I have quite the inventory of long sleeve shirts when compared to my lighter stuff for the summer.
My mom was allowed into England, so I cannot rely on her to take care of my wardrobe for a month. Dad would be more than willing to do it, but the situation is the same either way. A person who is not accustomed to doing the work has to do it. It is either he or I.
I suppose this is the consequences for focusing on "NinetyForChill.com - The #Podcast". Two episodes were recorded for this spooky month ("Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas" and Italian slasher "StageFright") and I still have my last conversation with ThePoeticCritic to use. If I can get one more recorded, the month is done.
It will get interesting with Wizard World Chicago from October 15 to October 17. Can I keep up the spooky theme? If you are attending, I should be wandering about in my attempt at "Captain N: The Game Master Cosplay". Feel free to bug me into recording an episode. You can also send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com to arrange a time to record.
I am just kidding around about the podcast being the reason for my clothes remaining dirty. The blame can be placed on Redbox for giving me a free rental code. Somehow I doubt Redbox is that cruel. "They knew my laundry needed done so they sent me a code to stop that" is a silly conspiracy. Their punishment toward me for not making rentals My Saturday Night Thing is having "H.P. Lovecraft's The Deep Ones" at the kiosk. In other words, disturbing the neighbors with late night laundry may have been a wiser decision.
The Deep Ones (2020)
It has been three months since Petri and Alexandra had a miscarriage. To try and get up the courage and passion to make another attempt at parenthood, they decide to take a second honeymoon at Solar Beach Colony. This is a quaint little community on the Pacific Coast where they are renting a house from Russel and his younger and pregnant wife Ingrid.
The hosts prefer to live on their boat anyhow, so you would not think they would be too bothersome. Plus, the wine the community makes is pretty good. There first night is a pleasant one, but Alexandra awakens the next morning from a dream where Petri, Russell, and Ingrid are celebrating her miscarriage. Finding the hosts making breakfast for them that morning only leaves her on further edge. She decides to stay in this day and to prevent her husband from feeling cramped in, allows him to go on the water with their hosts.
Their
gracious hosts want to make sure everything is fine, so they arrange
the local doctor to visit Alexandra while they are on the boat. Dr.
Rayburn is an odd bird, but seems trustworthy enough. That is more than
can be said about Russell and Ingrid. With a little weed and a lot of
clams, Petri returns a changed man with hopes of talking his wife into
moving here permanently. This leads Alexandra to be curious
about the homeless woman who has been wondering near the property in an
effort to warn the couple of an lurking evil.
You are probably in trouble when the production company for a feature in Crappy World Films. I can appreciate a bit of a nihilistic world view more than most, but I want that to come from the film's story, not the title cards. A quick summation of "The Deep Ones" would be that it is a turd, but it is not a very stinky one.
This is another take on Lovecraft's "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" which is a story Stuart Gordon nailed with "Dagon" from 2001. I appreciate the attempt to make this feature more psychological than horrific, but when your only attempts to make us uncomfortable is just showing us how weird the cult members are, we are left hoping for a graphic payoff. That never comes.
It is not overly offensive for the most part. Having no tension to stress the audience with can do that. The pacing is quick enough that we can endure the lack of action and just laugh at the director's continuity errors and inability to light scenes. There are no moments of levity except for a few alcohol jokes, so it just moves along at a pace that at least lets you know that it is not going be too long. Anticipation of something reminiscent of effects from Jordan Peele or Stuart Gordon keeps you on the ride, too bad it just ends up feeling like a grade school tour.
The only thing the feature does to anger the audience is dedicating it to the late Gordon and having the gall to place a post credit scene centered around masturbation. Fortunately, most viewers will not stick around the final text crawl to notice these concerns.
"The Deep Ones" takes a great gory inspiration and turns it into mediocre community theater. There is nothing in this feature except a few tentacles that rewards the Lovecraft audience. As for none fans of the horror master, there is nothing of interest to pay attention to. It is just inoffensive which can be appreciated with so many low budget features that insult our intelligence, but I would rather feel something than nothing at all. (Am I a closet Three Days Grace fan?).
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