A Wrestling Weekend Past and All the Corrections

The consolidating of all my blogs to MainEventOfTheDead.com had gone pretty smoothly until my revisiting my time in Partial Hospitalization for Psychiatric reasons (depression, and OSF would say alcoholism, but that was not really a problem until I moved to a 2 am last call town). These went long and my obsessive compulsive nature left the visual appearance of the content feeling off.

Thus, I need to write longer new blogs since the entries from My First Blog turned into being primarily movie reviews, and since I would talk about my depression on HeadTrip309.Blogspot.com, there were not as many long-winded rants about how I was feeling. So, there was a time where I was even doing more micromanaging than I am now. Perhaps it was not the social scene in Peoria that was the problem, but my quirk-driven nature. Alcohol could have been the problem because it did not relax me enough.

My satire game had been strong the past couple of weeks with "Destroy Capitalism! Destroy the Consumer" (My one regret was not using the word kill instead of destroy. How did I miss the alliteration?) and "How Many Trimesters Are Too Few: Abolish the Terrible Twos" (Despite my current Catholic-raised girlfriend's objections. That makes me want to figure out the trauma that lead to a lot of my decisions opposing my WASP grandfather's prejudices.), but each got shorter as I wrote them. The only thing I know that will take up a lot of space on a website is my analysis of pro-wrestling. Thank the Gods (LeVeque, Silkin, Gedo and McMahon) for the previous weekend.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

 deviantart.com

.45 or a Feminist's Adrenaline Tease

If I tell any of my friends that I rented a straight to video Milla Jovovich film, an explanation is expected from me. To that, all I can say is,  "I am just optimistic."

She always seems to give her heart into every role, and I can't say that I've seen a bad performance. Surely she has another "Fifth Element" in her. Fuck Sam Rockwell for landing the lead in "Moon". Just imagine the potential of a kooky Milla isolated with a Kevin Spacey voiced robot.

If only we could some how set "The Miracle Worker" in space, Milla Jovovich would have gone full circle.

Perhaps ".45" was...okay...is just to fringe for a theatrical release. Hollywood knows that she has some drawing power, but I guess she isn't a sure enough bet to bring Stephen Dorff back to the big screen. Thank God for Johnny Depp and Michael Mann for Stephen's sake.

It's sad that Dorff is pretty much considered to be a younger Val Kilmer, so it must mean he's only straight to video talent now. So it may never be Milla's fault for gracing the "new release" wall instead of a 3-D cut out. It's just the supporting cast bringing her down.

• "You Stupid Man" - David Krumholtz (better known as one of the Harold and Kumar jews), William Baldwin, Denise Richards
• ".45" - Stephen Dorff, Angus MacFayden, Aisha Tyler

This may actually be an unfair correlation with .45. This story wouldn't make any bank at the box office because it is brutal, and that is not in an action-packed way. It wouldn't have been in a bad way, but this film is a kick return team member wanting to play hero by charging an onside kick. .45 knew what it wanted to be, but wasn't sure how to be it.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Hellboy 2: 2 Much or 2 Short

The Next Terminator has to be John Cena, Ron Perlman, or Dwayne Johnson. But does he have to be white or off white?

And that's how you incorporate background noise into your opening statement. Why waste that one as a tweet?

It sucks going from a clever moment to a shameful confession. If it was not an American production, I hadn't seen Guillermo del Toro's work. There is no good reason. My only excuse is when it comes to DVDs for $9 at Wal-Mart, I have a tendency to buy brain rot.

"Ultraviolet", "Saw III", "The Marine", you get the picture (and I get a way to rap this review around). I wasn't trying to decay my gray matter, I just didn't want to think. For this I felt cowardly. Del Torro's work intimidates me if there is no Ron Perlman present. If I hadn't watched "Amelie" with my ex, the same would go for Caro and Jeunet.

Now, did I like "Blade II" and "Hellboy"? The answer is yes. His vision of Blade may have been to elaborate for a martial arts action movie, but the biggest flaws were made by the writer David S. Goyer.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

 

AllPosters - Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Dance of the Dead: For those who thought "Return of the Living Dead" was too cheesy

Those Red Box DVD kiosks outside grocery stores and truck stops have to do better when describing their offerings. I cannot remember them mentioning that Ghost House Underground’s "Dance of the Dead" was a comedy, and with so many clever gimmick zombie flicks dropping the ball in terms of capitalizing on the humor of the walking dead (on a plane, in a prison, in a mall circa 2004, etc.), it is important to tell potential viewers that someone has released a refined version of the original "Return of the Living Dead". No, Dance does not have the neon red pubic hair of the cult classic, but it makes up for that by doing everything else the RotLD better.

It seems like it should be common sense not to build a nuclear power plant next to a cemetery, but in a predominantly white community where the son of the police chief is an aspiring backyard wrestler, this idea’s downside can be overlooked. The cemetery’s custodian has been able to keep the reanimated corpse problem under wraps, but one night the high school’s science fiction club just has to give their P.K.E. meter a try, and the recently departed decide that they have to take some kind of action against these meddling kids.

Not content with just terrorizing the geeks, and unable to ignore their hunger, the undead decide to treat the town as a buffet, and the local high school’s prom is the dessert table. Now it is up to a slacker, a cheerleader, the class vice president, the yarder and the nerds to take their town back, and prevent too many memorial pages from taking up space in the yearbook.

Dance of the Dead is a pretty down to Earth zombie feature. The story is very linear, so no one will get lost, and the characters are of the same archetypes that the audience cheered for in the John Hughes and "American Pie" eras of high school comedies. Nothing about the movie is very foreign or intellectually deep, and comes across as more of a PG-13 comic book movie than a horror film. Thankfully, the messiness that comes along with zombies prevents the film from taking itself too seriously and more importantly tiresome.

There is not much depth to the characters, and since this film is not trying to present a message about society (I think we have all grown past the nuclear scare nonsense that Mr. Burns is the mascot for), there does not need to be. If there was, this film would drag along and forget about the necessities of a zombie comedy. A gut-busting scene that is too intense for R rated zombie dramas, heroes who have fun dispatching the flesh eaters, gore that is reminiscent to the 80's movies, and hot zombie-on-zombie action. If there is any problem with the story, it is that the characters seem callous at times because they do not take much time to mourn, but that would waste time in a 95 minute film that is determined to never slow down.

Dance of the Dead is one of those great scripts that just needed to be shot. As long as the effort put behind the gore and the actors just care enough, it should be entertaining. Perhaps if it had a great director and budget behind it, it would have the potential to be as fun as "Zombieland", but then it may have also lost the charm of being an excellent B-Movie in an overly A-Movie world.

hellhorror.com

Choke: A Movie About Sex Addiction

This was the review I gave to ICC's Newspaper The Harbinger. Unless I'm writing a new review, I don't want to stick to my "Rough Draft" moniker. As long as MySpace still exist, you can check out my rough, uncensored review at http://myspace.com/inimitablerc

Hope you enjoy the professionalism of this work.

"Choke" is the second Chuck Palahniuk (the writer of "Fight Club") novel to be adapted to the big screen, and it shows the wide range of subjects that can be developed from antisocial behavior, nihilism, the lack of male identity, and addiction. The film also shows us a softer, light hearted side to his work that may perplex fans of his first adaptation, but for that reason, it may be worth their time to check it out.

Unlike Fight Club, Choke is not about the sociological aspects of society’s affects on an individual, but more of personal quest of the main character, Victor, (Sam Rockwell from "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"). Victor is a sex addict whose mother, Oscar winner Anjelica Huston, is suffering from a debilitating case of Alzheimer’s disease. To pay for her treatment, he works as an indentured Irish servant in a colonial-themed tourist attraction, and if that isn’t enough, he goes to fancy restaurants and intentionally chokes on food to con money from whoever rescues him. His mother’s health is important because she might be the only one who has answers to his mysterious past that his recollections of the limited experiences he had with his mother fail to offer.

If dealing with this seemingly Oedipus-based obsession with his mother and staying on the wagon is not difficult enough, he now has to change his lifestyle of being cold and cynical when he finally meets a girl he truly likes, Paige, the doctor who is willing to go beyond the call of duty to save his mom (portrayed by Kelly MacDonald of "Trainspotting").

As information is collected and his friends and other crazy old ladies get involved with his quest for knowledge, Victor is stuck with the dilemma of trying to know whether he is becoming a good person, or if he was never the bad person he thought he was.

If one were to research Palahniuk, all his novels are described to be as dark as Fight Club. If this is the case, Clark Gregg, the first time writer/director of this film, seemingly chose not to put the story he adapted into the same dark world. This would leave one to conclude that Palahniuk's books focus on how society allows for dark events like brainwashing the disenchanted or becoming a sex addict to occur. Unfortunately, a fan of Fight Club may pick this title up to escape into a world that is the fruit of anarchy, so disappointment may occur.

The spirit throughout the movie is good. Rockwell allows for the main character to be a likable outcast without being deviant like Fight Club’s Tyler Durden. If one is a fan of that character, they might feel the character is not cool enough, but this works for the director's vision. The film still remains to be quite cerebral despite the fact that Huston is the only thing that makes the childhood flashback scenes worthwhile, and Palahniuk’s dry sense of humor to make one wonder whether or not this stuff should be funny.

What truly makes the film work is that every plot twist works; this leaves the audience rooting for all the characters to have happy endings except for the cops who arrest Victor on the suspicion of rape of a 90 year-old mental patient. There is nothing spectacular about the film’s direction, so engaging the audience with the story critical, and Gregg successfully delivers in this aspect of his debut. He is not Woody Allen, but he shows the same promise, and this critic would like to see what he could do with a more audience-accessible project.

Choke is a feel good movie, which is definitely what this viewer did not expect to see. If this catches a filmgoer by surprise, remember that Fight Club’s narrator is left standing. What cannot be argued is that, at least in the world of film, happily ever after is always a possibility in a Palahniuk based project. As long as this happiness exists in a world of emotional chaos, the audience should be pleased. But because some want more than just the acknowledgement of the concepts of happiness or chaos, renting this film is the reasonably priced method to view Choke.

 

 Lectures Chuck PALAHNIUK-Choke