Friday, September 24, 2021

90-Minute Netflix: Apologies to Dean Ambrose.

 

Since moving out of my parents house for good, I have yet to deal with trick or treaters. This obviously means that I am working tonight (10/31/18). It looks like all of the getting in before Dad's Day weekend traffic is in. All of the websites have been reviewed (ESPN, IMDb, CNN, NBC, BBC, Pro Wrestling Tees, Huffington Post), so writing is what I am left with.

I suppose I could read some Comixology, but it feels weird on a monitor. They need a narrator like "Watchmen: The Motion Comic." My voice feels to nasally, but Mark Hamill had been written out of Star Wars. He needs work right.

It almost makes me wish that I took night audit over somewhere just so I could keep up on all my portable video games. Thankfully, there is not a worthy Pokemon release this year. If I do get up the nerve to be caught with a 2DS in my hands, it will be a JRPG instead.

There seems to be too many video games and too little time, but that may be due to my movie problem. I think I only have 50 or so unwatched features in my collection (excluding wrestling and TV series of course), but I am still taking any Red Box discount I can find and I am still receiving Netflix DVDs. It shows I am dedicated to this method of storytelling, thus making me deserving of feedback to help me out in finding a way to promote my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead, I would happy to send you a treatment if you e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

If you need a little more support to warrant my claims of expertise, here is a review of the Dean Ambrose starring feature "12 Rounds 3: Lockdown," a flick that flows well and keeps it mind on its gimmick. WWE should focus on this style of film-making. It could lessen the need for my foray into Pro Wrestling Cinema.

First an Apology to Dean Ambrose.

There was a flaw in my logic when I declared the IWGP Heavyweight Championship as the current Real World Heavyweight Championship. Since I flunked logic in college, I considered not updating the "Disgruntled's Real World Heavyweight Championship," but I am too honest a person to do that. The WWE Championship gets a few more reigns, but if I am going to choose between Adam Cole and Dean Ambrose, I will apologize to Dean.

82nd World Heavyweight Champion - WWE's Seth Rollins (2) - 3/29/15 to 11/4/15
If you are going to cash in Money in the Bank, do it at the one place where no one can deny your cunning.

83rd World Heavyweight Champion - ROH's Jay Lethal - 11/4/15 to 8/19/2016
Jay Lethal was defending two titles at this time and managed to hold ROH's most prestigious title over a year. Roman Reigns's first three title reigns all occurred during this time frame.

84th World Heavyweight Champion - ROH's Adam Cole (2) - 8/19/16 to 12/2/16

85th World Heavyweight Champion - WWE's AJ Styles - 12/2/16 to 1/29/2017
Adam Cole swapped the title with Kyle O'Reily, and you kind of sully the history by adding names for the sake of adding names.

86th World Heavyweight Champion - WWE's John Cena (5) - 1/29/17 to 2/12/17
It is tempting to swap Cena with Kevin Owens, but he was an obvious place holder for Goldberg. With the difficulty of getting to see the Universal Championship defended, it may never supersede the WWE Championship.

87th World Heavyweight Champion - WWE's Bray Wyatt - 2/12/17 to 4/2/2017
No one wanted to believe that this supernatural character was going to lose all his momentum to a "when in doubt title holder" like Randy Orton. Deep down, we all knew his World title match was more important than Goldberg vs. Lesnar 3.

88th World Heavyweight Champion - ROH's Christopher Daniels - 4/2/17 to 6/23/17
Best performer when it came down to Lesnar, Mahal and Orton.

89th World Heavyweight Champion - ROH's Cody - 6/23/17 to 12/15/17

90th World Heavyweight Champion - New Japan's Kazuchika Okada - 12/15/17 to 6/9/2018
His victory over Cody could allowed Japanese Wrestling and American Wrestling are shared styles. Once the champion he beat loses the title, it makes sense to put him ahead of AJ Styles.

91st World Heavyweight Champion - New Japan's Kenny Omega - 6/9/18 to 1/4/19
Kind of poetic the list on the side of the blog essentially starts at the Alpha Chris Jericho and end with Kenny Omega.

12 Rounds 3: Lockdown

John Shaw has finally returned to the narcotics department of the metropolitan police after seven months of psychological therapy. Early retirement may have been a wiser decision since his fellow officers hold him responsible for the death of a rookie which resulted in his leave. Too make matters worse, they are all celebrating his ex-partner, Roger Cross, successfully killing one of the top drug lords in town. Having the intuition about Cross that Foster of Super Troopers says all good cops have, Shaw suspects that there is more to meets the eye about the killing. When the medical examiner discovers a flash drive disguised as a credit card on the body of the drug kingpin, he will be the first to investigate it.

On the drive is evidence that proves Cross is the drug overlord of the metro, selling confiscated drugs to dealers and reaping the profits. As Shaw is about to deliver the evidence to the chief, Cross has found out that the information that will bring him down is in his rival's hands. With a few phone calls, this villain has his crew searching the police headquarters for Shaw. With the pull of a fire alarm, the station is on lockdown. Cross has all the surveillance at his beckon call, so Shaw has to survive with only his sidearm and 12 rounds of ammo (paraphrasing theactionelite.com).

"12 Rounds 3: Lockdown" is a "Die Hard" rip off. Dean Ambrose is a child of the 90's and that was probably his preferred Christmas flick. It is not his gimmick's favorite Festivus film, it is everyone boy born in the 80's. If this script was thrown your way, how could you turn it down? As an independent wrestler, I would like to try and out due the John Cena's and Randy Orton's franchise installments. Ambrose at least did as well as any untrained thespian should expect to, so the flick at least meets expectations.

It is not the best "Die Hard" rip off by any means. I would say "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory" is better, but since we do not need more Steven Seagal, I am going to direct you to this title first. A good "Die Hard" knock off needs to remember that a sense of humor is really what makes the original a classic. "12 Rounds 3" expects the action to be ridiculous enough to keep us involved, so three written jokes are all you are going to get.

What keeps you involved is the "not a metaphor" gimmick of this film. "12 Rounds" is not a game, it is literally all our hero can rely on. You are counting the bullets as Ambrose exhausts them, and you are amused trying to figure out how he is going to make it out of the building with so few. This probably would not work for Dirty Harry, keeping us up to date on how many rounds he had left, but everything is interesting once.

Only having 12 rounds to use allows for some ridiculous kills which at least makes the movie fun. This is pro-wrestling on film. You will suspend your disbelief to ignore why the crooked cops actually bring grenades into close quarters being monitored by police on the outside of the building.

Outside of the story, the technical aspects are as good as you can expect when the ceilings are only 10-feet high at best. It is not an effects heavy affair, so the only thing that should have been added would be some gore for the hell of it. The Soska Twins at least gave of glimpses of that to amuse us with their two WWE installments shot under similar circumstances, and one of them was not a horror film. WWE Films can be ECW, so bring on the blood.

"12 Rounds 3: Lockdown" is not the best WWE Studio's productions, but it is fun and more enticing than a three-hour "Raw." That is really all you should want out of this film. Well, maybe one name actor aside from your Superstar. Michael Jai White must have been who they wanted Cross to be portrayed by. If Steve Austin can get him on speed dial, what is WWE's problem?

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