Posters with Armed Older Action Stars Best Be Expendables Knock Offs
I finished "Iron Fist" and, though I thought it was a fine martial arts
series, I can only deal with so much Finn Jones (why is season five of
"Game of Thrones" considered a weaker one?). Thus, with an hour and a
half before the news cycle, "Defenders" was not an option. Tennis had
screwed up ESPN, so I was left at a loss for live TV.
It has been a tough few weeks existentially. I have been trying to move
on from the I Hotel, but what will that gain me. Less headaches for one
(as I just received the call that it was a good thing that I had not
purchased Riot Fest tickets). Imagine an organization whose pay roll
company can screw up a payday over a holiday weekend. After they failed
to take my implication that I wanted to use up my vacation time on this
slow week, make believing their incompetence takes less effort that what
the cast of "2047: Sights of Death" put into their performances.
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| imdb.com/ |
By 2047, the Illuminati has used their influence to destroy any country
that refused to join their confederation. Being free of restrictions and
regulations, the new confederacy has let most of the world become a
radioactive waste land. The only resistance that seems to be making a
difference is "Green War" led by Sponge (Danny Glover) with his butt
firmly glued to his chair surrounded by CRT monitors and ham radios. His
top soldier is Captain Ryan (Stephen "Pardon the Spelling Error"
Baldwin) who was recently shot down during a mission to destroy a downed
satellite that contains records of their communications.
Determined to complete his mission, Ryan trudges through a contaminated
quadrant to locate the satellite. On this death march, he finds
companionship from the red-painted mute warrior girl, Tuag (no photo on
IMDB), a radio, and a mountain of dead bodies which could bring down the
Confederation. The findings inspires him to broadcast his position in
hopes that someone on their side will extract him to safety and document
his discoveries. The only response that means anything since Sponge is
too old for this shit is from Colonel Asimov (Hauer) who is personally
going to oversee a death squad with the assistance of mercenary and
harsh fellatio critic Lobo (Madsen). Will Ryan survive Beyonce's
descendants and radioactive hallucinations to save humanity? Since
everyone seems to have bulletproof skulls, the density of Balwin's skull
may just make him invincible.
"2047: Sights of Death" makes me long for Albert Pyun's films like
"Cyborg" and "Adrenalin: Fear the Rush" to be recirculated on the
streaming video rental stores. He set the standard for how to shoot a
bad action flick with only one set. Pyun must have a carefree
personality because his casts seemed to have fun filming. A payday for
community theater, why would you not be happy with that arrangement? I
suppose a language barrier might make one reconsider.
"2047" was directed by Allessandro Capone, an experienced
Italian-director with a resume that does not seem as varied as Lucio
Fulci, hence, he does not have the sense to take a budget on four former
A-listers and the worst Baldwin and just go camp with it. As the film
goes on and slows down time with nonsensical revelations, Capone relies
on quick cuts to try and provide an illusion that action is occurring.
This leaves us watching a poor 360-degree video, but there is a story,
so we are compelled to stick around for a conclusion.
No 360-degree video has a conclusion is the lesson to take away from
"2047: Sights of Death." Anyone stuck in this video cannot be taken
seriously. Hopefully, Darryl Hannah learned this lesson. As for Baldwin,
this may be the perfect purgatory for a Trump supporter.
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