If it does not involve pro-wrestling, this is Russ Stevens's effort to create the one stop blog for movies that are cut to the ideal run-time, 90 minutes. This blog may feature films that may range from 71 minutes to 1 hour 40 minutes, but 101 minutes and up are too long. An hour and a half can justify cutting a film into two chapters and a book into three. Hobbits and Katniss have too many ending, consider this an effort to stop that.
This week's movies are solely escapism for CatBusRuss. "Top of the World" is "Die Hard" meets "Ocean's 11" where Dennis Hopper and Peter Weller face off over Tia Carre. "Cyberjack" (Tubi's "Virtual Assassin") is "Die Hard" in the not too distant future with Brion James versus Cannon's "American Ninja". With the Bruce Willis classic turning 35, perhaps the year should be dedicated to "Try Hard" movies. But, the more pressing issue for CatBusRuss is trying to honor one of his best friends, Skimble the #BastardCat" who had just passed away.
Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective.
This is probably going to be a downer episode. Ally's cat, Skimble, whom she adopted in 2018, had been living with me since we broke up in 2020. We have not been given a cause for what led to his liver failure, but he passed away on Sunday, January 22. I have yet to meet a more loving and cuddly cat, so I cannot see how the world is better off without him.
It is not addressed in the podcast that I maybe to blame for not realizing how sick he had become since he quit being himself at the turn of the new year. I am more angry at myself for letting the social norms that dictate pets are not as meaningful as people. Of course, there is always a coworker who has a dying parent, so in all likelihood, my depression would be looked down upon. Right now, there is just a lot of anger that I need to work through. That, and I cannot wait to think of means to barter to get the little ball of fluff back.
It took me a while to accept atheism, but my most influential friend is an adamant fan of it. We once saved the life of her roommate who was overdosing on heroin. Months later, as my friend was having a tough time, I joked about how she did not believe in a god. My point was, if she believed, maybe we could have negotiated a trade with the higher power for our mutual best friend who died from her addiction. Oh the puppies at the humane society I would sacrifice for Skim.
We have already taken Skimble to the crematory. I suggested on the ride to her hometown of Tuscola, a village with plenty of Native American exploitation, that we find a burial ground, but she balked. Sometimes dead is better, but an undead Skim is at least a Skim.
It was going to be tough to come up with a theme for a podcast this week anyhow. I just fell into Try Hards for Skimble. There was no way I could record an episode over the weekend with my support of Team ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at Chicago's Whaddayaknow Tournament of Champions. With becoming obsessed with "Try Hard" movies in the build up to "Under Siege" with CouchMan", my plan was to work backwards or outward from "U". Thus, I went on to watch "Top of the World" which features the largest named cast (Peter Weller, Dennis Hopper, Tia Carre, Joe Pantoliano, Peter Coyote, David Allan Grier, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) for a mid budget knock off before all the Skim drama came to a head.
After Skimble passed, I needed some escapist trash to distract me. Michael Dudikoff, an untrained martial artist who became the first "American Ninja", versus Brion James, the badass replicant from "Blade Runner" who is determined to give each of his characters a different accent, was what "Virtual Assassin" offered. Too bad it is best known as "Cyberjack", hence making 2023 the year of the "Die Hard" knock off is already a bit off.
In the end, you will get more movie talk by volume than me trying to honor a lost best friend. If you choose not to skip to the end to of the episode and listen to my tribute to the little ball of fluff, I am honored. I will try to put up more pictures of him on my Mastodon account, @russstevens@mastodon.social. He is my second best friend to leave me for good, so I hope you understand why I needed to give my feeling 10 minutes. Thanks.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
The foul-mouthed Gregory Carl returns to "NinetyForChill: The #Podcast" to exemplify what MTV's most recognizable characters of the nineties may have become if they were middle aged. CatBusRuss and Gregory discuss "Beavis and Butt-Head Do America". It is a feature that is a celebration of immature comedy and how fun it truly can be, and perhaps the actual influence it had on adolescents who grew up with it.
Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective.
I bring up Gregory's potty mouth because after three "fucks" in the first 10 minutes, trying to censor this podcast seemed pointless. The only reason I would like to censor it is because this feature received a rating of PG-13. But, as we discussed the feature, being a cartoon may have allowed it some freedoms that the censors would not have allowed if it was live action.
Of course, Jim Carrey got a way a lot of these gags throughout 1994 and 1995. If it was not for the boom in gross out comedy at the turn of the 21st century starring actors who would have watched B&B, perhaps Hollywood would be a different place. Maybe I would have never argued the merits of the "Hangover" franchise with Billy Corgan.
This change in comedic taste may have provided us with Tom Cruises's most fun performance, Les Grossman. If immaturity was never celebrated like it was in this 1996 feature, would Ben Stiller had the nerve to let Hollywood's biggest star cut loose and make us forget about his scientology mania three years prior?
Aside from the humor, we were fascinated with the increased production quality. Did this take away from the feature's charm? Gregory had started to watch "Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe" and seemed thrown off by the fancy flash animation of today.
Since this is a Gregory Carl episode, we are going to talk about wrestling and growing up in Central Illinois. It makes me wonder if the "Monday Night Wars" and MTV's dirty toons were the only escapes that we had downstate.
Officially, we do not visit "Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Revue", but iTunes did inspire me to check out an "Alien" knock off from 1985, "Biohazard". It was listed at $4.99, but free on Freevee, so I could try before I needed to buy. My experience is not documented on this episode. That is because Podbean is going to expect me to pay at least three times what I have been charged by the service to have all of my episode make my Apple, Spotify, and Google Podcast feeds.
Thus, I reissued my "It's Time for RiffCats", but since I plan a grand "Ally's Trash Features' episode, I swapped out the "Ghostbusters 2016" review with "Biohazard". Give it a listen here.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
Andrew "Couch Man" Tiede returns to "NinetyForChill: The #Podcast" to take on what is arguably the most legendary Steven Seagal feature, "Under Siege". CatBusRuss appreciates having the TikTok all star on the show to discuss this "Try Hard" due to his military experience. Prepared to tackle the logistics of this film, the two will address the legendary villainy of Tommy Lee Jones, the awakenings released by Erika Eleniak, and the carny nature that star Seagal lives by. If this violent classic does not intrigue you to listen, perhaps a review of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" will amuse you.
Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective.
This is going to be an interesting blog post for the episode. I am trying to type this up as I edit the podcast. Too bad this episode is a lot of fun to listen to. It maybe my first challenge of the year I suppose.
Could things be better? Of course. But getting two podcasts recorded in one night, only the company of a lady could have made that better. I might still be recovering because that was a lot of drinking. Domino's parmesan bread knots was not the best way to follow it up.
My first conversation had the most planning. Andrew Tiede was a great guest to have when discussing a military-themed action movie. We get the opportunity to chat about our young awakening to our heterosexuality thanks to Erika Eleniak and our disdain for what Steven Seagal had become...perhaps during this feature.
Of course we go off on a lot of tangents. By the point that I have integrated the "The Buffy Vampire Slayer" movie review into the episode, we have had three conversations about wrestling, Kevin Smith memories, and how we have done drugs. This is a PG-13 conversation, at least in terms of language, but the content might not be appropriate for those who have yet to have D.A.R.E class.
Why you would let your kids gain an education from a podcast discussing an R-Rated movie is beyond me. If your kids come out warped after these couple of hours, that is on you.
As for "Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Review", I finally watched "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" from beginning to end. It was a lot of fun, but for both good and bad reasons. This might be the toughest movie for me to review because I enjoyed it, but it is still is not a good movie. Can I recommend it? Hopefully the review will give you all you need to know.
I hope you do not mind the minor movie review being in the middle of the episode. Let me know if you prefere jumping right into the primary movie, or you prefer the build up to the main attraction.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
I have been in a fried state since C2E2. It was quite the learning experience. This was an experience that someone who turned 40 during it may have not been ready for. Maybe movie and pro-wrestling geekdom was too much to handle for someone who has close of 20 years of aspiration to make a mark in one of those fields.
If only I knew the proper order when ending a relationship. I guess it was destiny for this blog to be hastily put together. It turns out that the amount of head trips that I had typed up was used up. Should I be worried about discussing things with about my better quarter? (Eva the Cat will always get half, but regardless of relationship status, she deserve a percentage.) There is a good chance this blog will not end up on her Facebook feed. But, I will not see her till probably after "AEW Dynamite" airs, so I might end up posting this before "the talk".
It is a new experience for me. My first relationship was in junior high, so to find out a week after the relationship started that she wanted to pursue my best friend, that was no big deal. The second relationship that started 13 years later, there was a lot of drama when it came to how it ended, but my insensitivity towards her and my ignorance about relationships were the root causes. This time around, compatibility may have just worn itself out, and that is a tough thing to accept. Hence why I want to have talk to her, it is just there are stakes this time. I am just wondering if it my ego or my heart that will be broken up.
But the lack of communication over and early bed time from her being upset that she had to fulfill the C2E2 obligations at least allows me to knock out a movie review for ninetyforchill.com. The only problem was determining movies that I have access to see, have yet to see, she might want to see (like "Paradise Hills" with Awkafina and Milla Jovovich), and what I was in the mood for. Relationship turmoil did not seem right for any Gregg Araki films.
My solution, turn that to a physical expression of turmoil in the form of "Kickboxer: Retaliation" a sequel to the 2016 reboot that I really enjoyed. Now this film was one hour and fifty minutes, so you may say, why does this qualify for a website that puts a cap on length at 97 minutes (You will never know how many movies you own that end at 1:38 until you enter an endeavor like ninetyforchill.com.)?
That is because, if you were able to establish a universe in your first film, you get to expand it in your sequels. "John Wick" was just over an 1:45. "John Wick: Chapter 2" was nearly 2 hours 10 minutes. Did we complain about that? No, because Jonathan earned it.
Surely this privilege does not solely belong to Keanu Reeves (I say that because I thought "The Matrix" sequels were fine and the extra hour was worthwhile). Stuntman-turned-actor Alain Moussi has similar limitations to his acting, so perhaps this is the non-sci-fi martial arts equivalent to Neo's adventures.
Kurt Sloane has returned to the States with his new wife Liu after avenging his brother's death at the hands of Muay Thai kingpin Tong Po. Sanctioned mixed arts is his new pursuit, and things are going well. Unfortunately for him, he had left Thailand's underground fight scene without the lineal champion, so the reigning promoter Thomas Moore decides to kidnap Sloane and have him help in a corrupt prison for murder.
Sloane does not want to return to the underworld, so he refuses to fight Mongkut, the current champion who is large enough to cut down a horse with a single swipe of a sword, despite being offered a million dollars. He may find the prison to be a spiritual place as Moore seems to locked up all of Mongkut's potential contenders along with Sloane's trainer Durand. With Zen boxers to learn from, it may be wise to master their teachings and then take the fight.
Unfortunately, Liu's attempt to rescue her husband results in her own kidnapping, so Moore has raised the stakes. On the flipside, Moore wants the best possible, and is willing to make sure our protagonist will be ready for the fight of his life. With that kind of accommodation, Durand should be able to find a method to defeat this great mountain of a man.
If you love fight training montages, "Kickboxer: Retaliation" is for you. "Rocky IV" seems to be fondly remembered for its musical numbers. "Kickboxer" is just a few Survivor and Frank Stallone tracks from being an A-List film.
"Kickboxer Retaliation" is loaded with action to pad out the 1:50 runtime, and the variety of the fight scenes keeps you intrigued to the point where I only found out that I was an hour twenty in when I paused for a drink refill. You have to enjoy all the fight movie clichés to get into the film, so do not expect anything new. On the surface, this was yet another great repackaging of an old IP further sweetened by an extended cast of fun characters portrayed by a hackling Christopher Lambert, a blind Jean-Claude Van Dam, numerous MMA legends, and a chill Mike Tyson. That should sell any action fan to see it.
Now they are going to see direction that features many upon many poorly framed shots and video game sweat effects. The previous film's producer, Dimitri Logothetis, takes credit for the direction and what he tries and fails at shows that he has his hands in too many places. Since this film does not offer anything new, you have to avoid looking like a direct-to-video movie any chance you can. "Kickboxer" does not do that.
The pacing of this feature is fast enough, but because it does not offer anything new, it should not have been 20 minutes longer than its predecessor. We have changed the location of the violence, but the "Kickboxer" universe has not been expanded on. I think of the original five films, the last was the only one to present a "Street Fighter 2: The World Warrior" vibe, but that was hardly a sequel in terms of continuity. (In terms of a cheap 90-minute flick, Mark Dacascos delivered.) That would be the way I would make "Kickboxer: Armageddon". You cannot get away with same movie different location thrice when it comes to a franchise of any quality.
"Kickboxer: Retaliation" is an adequate action flick which serves as an acceptable addition to the "Kickboxer" reboot. It is a very late 80's action movie, so if you do not expect a masterpiece, you will not be let down. If you want a "Kickboxer" reboot to watch, I will recommend that you watch "Vengeance" instead of this. But if only one is available for free streaming (Netflix was where I get my "Kickboxer" films), you will not feel let down.
While most celebrate the New Year with libations and giant balls, CoolMoviesDarth was binging features with reputations that are less than savory. Inspired to get to his next Netflix DVD and kick off the latest series of movies for Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Reviews, our host tackles a pre-fame/infamy Amber Heard video from 2004, "SideFX", and Charlize Theron's first attempt at neo-femme fatale, "Aeon Flux (2005)".
Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective.
I should have tried harder to get a guest lined up for this episode. It is a catch 22. New comers to the show are more likely to check out the shorter episodes, but I do not think that I am interesting enough to carry it on my own every week. The fact that I do it every other week is enough of a boost to my ego.
The lack of a guest could be expected to kick off the New Year. Sunday would have been the last day I could record it, and I hope everyone else would be too hung over to be up for that. My lack of excitement allowed for this episode. No friends around me means there was no excuse to watch a few weird flicks.
This episode should be looked at as a triumph because depression had committed some gnarly attacks. It maybe more alienation than sadness. I do not need that reinforced though. Thursday was the most excitement of my vacation with my trivia team's Pour Bros. victory to close the year, an attempt at karaoke at Guido's, and goth night at the Rose Bowl. But, I was the only one staying out for the third leg. When the music sucks (If you are a good DJ, you would have other places to be, so play the fucking requests.) and you see the bitch who most recently ghosted you trying to make it about her, the loneliness gets the better of me.
Heading up to see AAW Wrestling at Logan Square was off my itinerary for the following night (but maybe that is because I can easily sneak into to their next venue) and I did not do anything on New Year's Eve. Champaign/Urbana might just be a poor place to be with two-thirds of the population being students. There was one time I celebrated at Kams in 2002. Still have yet to get the sticky floors off of those shoes.
Pardon the interruption to this episode's narrative. That is my shortcut to not removing the below portion of this cut and paste job.
I have determined that I just need to find a cohost for two weeks of the month. There will be invitations sent out to people I have had on the show that I think fit my attitudes. If you want to apply, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. We could do both recordings in one night. The only issue with that is that I will be more shitfaced than usual.
A lot of "Pokémon: Violet" was played over the weekend, but I did try to come up with a fun theme for this solo episode. I had watched (and recorded a review for) Syfy Original: "Android Apocalypse" which featured Chris Jericho in a supporting role. "MacGruber" was a flick I picked up during a Disc/Mega Replay B3G3 sale. As it turns out, Jericho has only been in four feature-length "movies" and three-quarters of them qualify for the podcast. All of them do if you include the Aview Askewniverse. Too bad the one I did not have access to, "Albino Farm", does not have streaming availability. But it was on DVD.com.
To get access to the disc (should arrive this weekend), I needed to watch and return my last disc from Netflix, "SideFX". This was a movie I had been curious about since I saw VHS copies at Wal-Mart in 2006. The majority of that year was spent living in a junkie den that only had a tape deck and a small TV. A movie about a vampiric/zombie drug seemed timely to me, but I never grabbed it because it may have been too on the nose for my peers of the time.
In the end, not viewing it then was a good thing. This was before I embraced no-budget cinema, so would I even have appreciated it? Joke is on me of course. Did it offer anything to appreciate? Perhaps pre-fame Amber Heard.
A good palate cleanser for this would have been "The Lost Boys: The Thirst", but I think that franchise may deserve its own episode. This lead me to open up the newest year of "Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Revue". With only one movie starting with A, this maybe the last year for this portion of the podcast. Once again, Buy 3 Get 3 saves the day.
I do not think any of the women who became/attempted to become action stars of the early noughties look back fondly on "Underworld" and "Resident Evil" sequels. "Domino" did not do Keira Knightly any favors and they did nothing to capitalize on Jessica Alba's turn in "Sin City". There are even suggestions that Milla Jovovich looks down on "Ultraviolet". But at the time of that project, she was willing to provide a commentary track for the feature's DVD release.
Criterion did not release the disc, so you can suspect that it gushes over the film. One would presume that would be the same for Charlize Theron when it came to "Aeon Flux".
The reputation for that movie had been in the gutter since before its release. We all know why. How could you sell out and tone down the innovative animated femme fatale? Well, MTV needs to hold on to the rights of the project, and it was before the time of streaming. For me, if the Academy Award winner was willing to put a stamp of approval on it via a special feature, I needed to see what this panned train wreck was about. It is great to start the year off with a surprise.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.