If it does not involve pro-wrestling, this is Russ Stevens's effort to create the one stop blog for movies that are cut to the ideal run-time, 90 minutes. This blog may feature films that may range from 71 minutes to 1 hour 40 minutes, but 101 minutes and up are too long. An hour and a half can justify cutting a film into two chapters and a book into three. Hobbits and Katniss have too many ending, consider this an effort to stop that.
Monday, March 14, 2022
NinetyForChill - The #Podcast: @GentlethemE Returns to Willy Wonka's Plantation
Cool Movies Darthand Michael Dubois resume their conversation about one of the most impactful children features in their lives, "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory". The two discuss the charms of Gene Wilder that Johnny Depp could only wish for, and how they may allow a real megalomaniacal chocolatier to get away with the crimes against humanity that Roald Dahl's most famous character commits.
Picking up where they left of, the two discuss how all the kids were suckers for pursuing Slugworth's request to leave the factory with an Everlasting Gobstopper. Michael hopes this portion of the Dahl universe is murder free. Mr. Fox was risking his life, so CM Darth thinks Slugworth would pay the Iron Price to cover his tracks. Slitting children throats is something they would do on Pyke.
When it comes to CM Darth's darker takes on the film, they maybe related to his rewatch being sweet free. He developed a sense of jealousy toward the five children and the candy that they had access to. It is ironic because his obsessive compulsive tendencies would have left him too creeped out to continue the tour. The boat ride would not bug him, but a dozen people just feeding themselves cream from their bare hands. Gross.
The best thing about "Willy Wonka" is not the subliminal diabetes. It is Gene Wilder. Darth and Michael discuss that Wilder was casts to be himself. This leads to a criticism of Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory" from the host. Depp is not bad, but if Depp is cast in something, we might just want to see him be Depp.
Wilder did not turn himself into a character to portray the chocolate magnate. He is believable with his own voice and mannerisms. His character and dialogue is kooky enough. All he needed to do was deliver it well, and the audience leaves happy. Just like his role in Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask."
This is where a content warning maybe needed. Darth discusses his admiration for the content Woody Allen has directed while resisting calling him a total monster. Our host may come off as a demon after he slips the M-word when discussing the Oompa Loompas. There is no malicious intent, and it leads to a fun conversation of dwarves versus elves. When little people have two (three if you include hobbits) Middle Earth races to choose as their preferred noun, why dwarves?
At least they did not look towards a galaxy far, far away when it came to races to name their condition. Then again, after "The Book of Boba Fett", finding out Jawas are furry, the practicality of using the J-word just is not there.
The two being nerds leads to some "Star Wars" comparisons. Charlie seemingly having a pure heart definitely provides the audience with Christ-like vibes. Who needs Jesus when you have George Lucas?
If Charlie is the chosen one, he is essentially Anakin Skywalker. A child running a chocolate factory is scary, but the naïve nature of Charlie implies he will cause no one harm. This maybe something that can be said of young Skywalker, but once he started thinking with his dick, all was lost. Will Charlie need to be celibate for the sake of the Oompa Loompas?
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
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