*This blog post was started on December 5, 2022.
The next episode of "NinetyForChill: The Podcast" has been edited together for December 6 since I had hopes of going on a date tonight. Kids ruin everything.
I suppose its viruses that do that, but if your seven years old, you should be wearing a mask in school. There is hopes that she will update me with a place to meet after implying a need to get tanked. Here is to hoping I have to interrupt this blog post. She states on her Tinder that she is looking for a plus one for a Christmas Party this Saturday. Getting to know her personally seems like a must if I have to fake it instead of watching Ring of Honor's Final Battle.
At least with the year closing, I have stuff to write about. Everything film critic needs to present their best of list before January 1. With 80 movies (so far) to address, it should keep me busy for the entire month. Provided Chris Jericho retains over Claudio Castagnoli at Final Battle, movies should be my artistic focus until 2023.
Would I rather see Claudio as Ring of Honor World Champion? Yes, but I am writing this blog on a rare midweek night off. There is enough pressure on myself right now. I say that and realize that I still have bills to pay this week.
Mentioning cash, I remember after my rough experience watching "The Menu" last night, a Patreon will be the goal of 2023. If I am going to bitch about a movie theater performing poorly, I need to claim a sense of professionalism as a critic. There is a need to place myself on a pedestal above Yelp reviewers.
Speaking of pedestals, lets break down the first 20 movies from the alphabet that I discovered this year.
The Best Movie Discoveries of 2022 (A to F):
Abandon- Before I Go To Sleep
- Black Friday
- Blind Fury
Castle Freak (2020)- Class of 1984
Class of 1999Class of 1999 Part 2- Clerks III
- Cloverfield
CreatureDark Space- Deadly Games
Doom- Earth Girls Are Easy
EmpireFoodfight!- Frankenstein
- Fortress
- Fritz the Cat
Movies Worth Considering:
Before I Go To Sleep (2014):
It feels likes a good pre-prestige television movie in terms of story. Fortunately, this movie loads up on the best British talents...and Nicole Kidman to make you invest in the feature. Having not seen the "Bridget Jones" franchise, I have only seen Colin Firth as a nice guy. When the other male lead is the almost always cold Mark Strong, the casting sets us up to not be prepared for the roles they will be playing. Kidman is engaging as the lead of a film that is basically, what if "50 First Dates" was a psychological thriller. At 92 minutes, there is no time to bore the audience even when it gets predictable.
Black Friday (2021):
If you are a fan of low-brow, low-budget cinema, how can you resist a feature with Bruce Campbell and Michael Jai White? The feature could have been a lot campier, but once all the characters get established, being able to relate to their plight during an intergalactic zombie apocalypse on the busiest shopping day of the year makes this film a lot of fun. That maybe the retail associate in me, but Seth Green as a defected toy stuffed bear called Dour Dennis, a rental is a must.
Blind Fury (1989):
From the days where TriStar Pictures was considered second tier, they provided us with a Cannon Group premise led by a totally invested thespian in Rutger Hauer. He carries this action movie with a sense of relatability in a time where that was just becoming a viable option for a hero in the shadow of "Die Hard". Nothing really makes sense in the film when it comes to being grounded in reality, but I am proud if this flick is America's best attempt at "Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman".
Class of 1984 (1982)
This is the trashy grindhouse style cinema that I look for. The film could have spread out the scummy, ridiculous scenarios through out the film, which is frustrating but amusing enough. "Class of 1984's" finale makes it all worth it. If you need the better pacing of crazy, you may just want to go straight to Mark Lester's pseudo sequel, "Class of 1999".
Clerks III (2022):
I have been made aware of negative opinions towards this feature, but I think that maybe from those who do not want to grow with these characters. This feature provides a midlife crisis for anyone over 40 years-old, and I think that maybe the point. There are some juvenile gags, but is that not what stoners posing as cinephiles want? Perhaps making a living as a customer service representative the past 20 years leads me into a bias towards this Kevin Smith film, but if that is not cool with the viewer, you are amongst those who we serve, but do not fucking like.
Cloverfield (2008):
Anyone who says this feature is overrated, I can relate to. It is a fine found footage feature, but difficult to relate to the characters. It is worth a watch to see the skills, but not being a real kaiju movie will not inspire you to return to it.
Deadly Games (o.k.a. 36.15 code Pere Noel)(1989):
I argued with Gregory Carl that "Home Alone" is not a rip off of this feature, but I realize that it is only because Americans are a lot dumber than the French. This goes to our inability to handle dark humor and also failing to want to have villains that only a genius will be able to defeat. There is no slapstick in this feature, just intensity and tongue-in-cheek humor. You can show it to your kids if you need to knock off this Santa bullshit, but if you do not want to be cruel, the film captures the childhood paranoia of strangers that you can now enjoy looking back on.
Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)
This is one of the features that inspired the podcast to allow movies that conclude their narratives in 1:39:59. It might be one of the finest, intentionally camp features of the 1980s. The cast is brilliant, the musical numbers are all fun. As I look back on this film now, "Earth Girls Are Easy" might be a perfect film. With that said, next year's season of "NinetyForChill: The #Podcast" will need some time dedicated to reassessing some reviews that have star counts inspired to "balance" my Letterboxd ratings.
Frankenstein (1931)
I have a tendency to complain about the time of where writers and actors were trying to move from theatrical styles to the cinema, but this is a near perfect horror movie. There are some tacky effects and Americans portraying Germans with no accents, but James Whale ability to direct carries it to being a near perfection. He may end up dominating this list since he also directed "The Invisible Man".
Fortress (1992)
It would not be "NinetyForChill: The #Podcast" if Stuart Gordon was not fighting for a spot on the best of list? This was probably his most ambitious film at the time. Christopher Lambert versus Kurtwood Smith could sell this movie to movie nuts on its own. Giving us an inescapable prison with Tom Towles, Clifton Collins Jr., Vernon Wells, and Jeffrey Combs is just a bonus. You have plenty of gore and unnecessary nudity. I think this is ahead of its time when it comes to virtually direct-to-video faire.
Fritz the Cat (1972)
I have not seen a lot of early Ralph Bashki, but I venture to say this is the most accessible. It is easier to suggest this than "Coonskin". The feature is beautifully animated and you can see that ambition that Bashki will exhibit in "Lord of the Rings" and "American Pop". More importantly, capturing the hypocrisy of the white liberals is done perfectly. With a touch of "Clockwork Orange" themes, this picture is a must see provided you are of age to understand it.
The Current Top 10:
- Fritz the Cat
- Frankenstein
- Earth Girls Are Easy
- Deadly Games
- Clerks III
- Before I Go To Sleep
- Class of 1984
- Blind Fury
- Black Friday
- Fortress
I guess I will need to catch up on the rest of the "Cloverfield" franchise. There are its supporters, but found footage is a very difficult to style to incorporate into grand genres like kaiju movies, so I will take the made-for-video gold over it at least six of seven days a week.
Until next week, these are my must sees that are less than 100 minutes in length. I cannot wait for the new challengers.
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