Saturday, April 20, 2019

Can Michael Bay Desecrate Everything We Love?

Current mood:  sad

The new "Friday the 13th", a film with potential because it immediately gives us the seven footer, but what exactly is this flick? A reinvention? An homage? Or messed up? With the involvement of Michael Bay, I lean towards the latter.

I won't get into a "Transformers" debate, and I liked "The Rock" despite it was overblown in every shot, but realize that Bay broke all of my motion picture standards.
These are:
  • There is no such thing as a bad Ewan McGregor film ("Star Wars 2" is on Mannequin Skywalker),
  • There are no bad Scarlett Johansson movies (I'll stand by any cat friendly comic book hero film),
  • And Steve Buscemi cannot be featured is a garbage flick ("Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within had no Chocobos").
In the name of "awesomeness,"" The Island" screwed cinema up forever.

Just think back to the "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake which I thought was utter crap. It had potential...hold on...no it didn't. Since gore was the justification of the original's sequels, we knew what the classic relative bloodless classic could have been. The remake was 90 minutes that I have to force myself not to regret viewing it because their was nothing emotional behind the violence.

Fortunately, this film gave me the knowledge that R. Lee Ermey, sadly, isn't a guy who can star, so I knew I could skip "The Beginning".
 

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