Wednesday, May 15, 2024

"Coraline" in 12 Parsecs & Super Mario Bros. 93

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 159: "Coraline" in 12 Parsecs with HappyBeebsMeowMeow

I think Eva could make button eyes work

It is never too late to start the New Year. Some people hope to just get out of their comfort zone. That is the goal of Brandy Stonum, or should we call her HappyBeebsMeowMeow.

With a Twitch handle like that, watching a movie where a feline plays a big role seemed perfect. So CatBusRuss was able to bend the rules of the podcast a bit, Han Solo style, and allowed Henry Selick's Neil Gaiman adaptation, "Coraline", be the focus of the show.

CatBusRuss has been trying to get one of his best Champaign/Urbana pals onto the podcast since about the inception of the show. The two chat about and have watched movies in each other's company over the past couple of years, so he thought content would come naturally. Our host thought the biggest issue was just finding a movie to fit the parameters of the pod, but people can just be nervous about putting themselves out there.

This was probably true of Russ until he had to cut his first wrestling promo. There were just too many quiet goth wrestlers in Peoria. Creating a character was the only in he had.

Brandy is a few weeks from bringing her Twitch channel online, so like our film's protagonist, she has to make the online world in her image and not have it handed to her. Hopefully, we can get her back on the podcast once her channel goes live, but until then, lets revel in her cinematic intelligence and patience when it comes to dealing with the CatBus.

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 161: Super Mario Bros. 93 with Ta2Squid

Eva is beyond Super

If it is a movie adapted from a video game, you may lure out the Ta2SquidCatBusRuss welcomes a returning Andras Bodolai to Ninety For Chill: The Podcast for a chat about what is essentially the first attempt at bringing characters from a home gaming console to the big screen, "Super Mario Bros. (1993)".

Our host's first conversation with his fellow podcaster was about 2005's "Doom". Like the John Leguizamo and Bob Hoskins led movie, most do not remember that feature fondly (if at all as displayed by Kollin from the Trash Panda Podcast). But, there has not been a reclamation effort for the Dwayne Johnson film. Maybe more time needs to pass. Give it 30 years (and a billion-dollar animated feature), and Karl Urban's Doom Slayer might get his proper due.

Russ thinks a narrative might still hold the Martian-based movie back. It would not have even needed a sane one because what Dennis Hopper movies do?

CatBus and his guest discuss how this may have been a bad adaptation of the source material, but a fun mind shag of movie that walked so "Mortal Kombat" could kick ass. This Screen Drafts Marquee of Fame entrant maybe a flawed masterpiece. The direction is lacking, but this is a movie that has a crazy enough story and charming enough characters that it may have been a decade too late for when the audience would have ate this flick up. And/or, it was a decade too early which prevented meta-obsessed fanatics from appreciating it.

It definitely needs more attention since this is only the first round of the Leguizamo v. Hopper battle. Hit CatBusRuss on social media if you would like to discuss George A. Romero's "Land of the Dead".

If you find this episode interesting (despite the technical issues...and a "Ghostbusters (2016)" review), we hope you still have a DVD player because that is the only legal way to watch this underappreciated film.

90-Minute Netflix DVD - Nirvana: Christopher Lambert versus The Antivax Mouse

90-Minute Netflix DVD - Nirvana: Christopher Lambert versus The Antivax Mouse

It is looking like it will be a super weekend for NinetyForChill.com. Three of the next five blogs will be movie reviews and not just me refining my content for MainEventoftheDead.com. After dealing with people babying their adult children with overblown graduation celebrations in the lobby, I feel the class struggle expressed in 1990's cyberpunk films from America and Italy. The Franco-African party in the meeting room also fulfills that smaller world feel of these flicks as well.

We need to develop customer service apprenticeships or have all businesses that require its employers to be legal adults be operated under University banners. People like myself who enjoy and find that the field suits us well may be allowed to earn the same respect as anybody with a bachelors. Imagine how good we would be at the job if it was supervised by a college.

At least that way, people will understand that the merit systems of reward programs do not place you in a position to demand hotel rooms a facility does not have. Especially when you know there is probably only one agent on site. This society is never going to get over bullying.

I could go into the customer service side of bullying, but judging that two rehashed entries this weekend are a bout depression, I will digress.

And, educational credit may not help the customer service field. If we mock youthful fast food employees, why would we not mock youthful clerks. It may just be a case of the haves versus the have nots, which is the root of all end of the millennium science fiction. Fortunately, we have not experienced the devastating economic falls that were prophesied, but the rise in diseases seems to be a poignant prediction.

Antivaxxers might just be the product of the rich's influence on those who envy them in the lower classes. If they do not give their kids a medicinally-insured childhood, and it seems to work, the idolization will leave the poor believing their kids will be fine. They just need to be reminded that Jenny McCarthy quit having kids and Alicia Silverstone can put her little ones in plastic bubbles.

Which movie studio has the antidotes? Sony and Paramount have not been making a lot of moves to increase their portfolios, so I think they would be the likely suspects. Paramount and Lionsgate make a lot of moves together (like refraining from joining Movies Anywhere) so they may be too dependent upon each other, but would Sony go and distribute a film like "Johnny Mnemonic" if they were hiding the MacGuffin.

Per chance it is the most obvious conglomerate, Disney. Fox was the UK distributor on "Mnemonic" and Miramax was under the Disney banner when they released the dub of the Christopher Lambert film that inspired this blog, "Nirvana". The mouse is hiding his evil intentions in plain sight.



Jimi has been consumed with depression. It has been one year since his beloved Lisa left him which is effecting his efforts to finish his latest virtual reality game, "Nirvana", and the release date is only three days away.

Solo can relate to the feelings of being melancholy and used. Every night, he awakens with vague memories of his past lives only to be drawn into Maria's quest to defeat Neo-Shanghai's criminals elements. It is the same every day until he hears Jimi giving him orders.

A virus has infected the games servers and Solo is now sentient. If living only to be killed repeatedly by noobs is his future, he would rather be deleted. Jimi is fed up with deadlines and the monotony of his life, so he can relate to the request. But how can he do it?

The only one he knows who might be able to pull this off is Joystick, the guy who was helping Lisa get settled into Marrakesh after she flew the coop. If he needs to acquire the assistance of the last lead to his broken heart, may as well see if he can make up with her before he destroys the corporation that is holding everyone down.

Oh how I wish I had some herbal assistance when I was watching "Nirvana." The story is buried within a lot of cool cyberpunk imagery and ideas, so the weed may have enhanced those and this film would have been a nice trip. Otherwise, the film is fun, but you are constantly calling BS on how it gets from point A to point B.

Strange Days (1995) - IMDb
www.imdb.com
Info about the best current day cyberpunk
"Strange Days"
Christopher Lambert plays his archetype, and I cannot go wrong with this. As long as he gets a bit in the "John Wick" franchise at some point, the future looks bright. Every other character is too hip to emote, but they were written that way, so that is forgivable. The only flaw with that is that does not make them any different the sprites in the "Nirvana" video game. If you interpret this as Jimi and Solo's quest running parallel, that is not a downside, but definitely a stretch. The writing does not seem smart enough for that.

The journey in the film is suppose to start in a major city, but a cab will take you from the West (or Far East) to Morocco and a drive through snowy weather will land you in India. That is a stretch for me. And with the reasonably cool makeup and effects elements leaving you in a state of nearly forgetting the story, if these unique cities do not look any different, you could have just stayed in Newark like Keanu did in 1995.

Thank the gods for "Strange Days" finally getting this pre-HD cyberpunk world right. Still, with how ridiculous the film can get, you may as well enjoy it. If anything, "Nirvana" has finally inspired me to watch "Hackers."

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/bf/95/09bf95aa0001ff271ab58ac97bbdcf5a.jpg

It seems that I am now on a quest to find an intolerable 90's Internet movie. Do I skip this and work on trying to create a hybrid between "Nirvana" and "Mnemonic" instead? Let me know with and e-mail at russthebus07@gmail.com and feel free to request a treatment for my B-Movie, Pro-Wrestling Zomcom, "Main Event of the Dead" while you are at it.

@BFest 2024 & ThePoeticCritic & Ally Presents: M - N - Oh What a Waste of Talent

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 157: @BFest 2024 & ThePoeticCritic

Eva the QueenKitty of the Red Carpet


For the first time since CatBusRuss started making the annual trip to Evanston, ThePoeticCritic accompanied her little brother to B-Fest. It is a celebration of “The Best of the Worst” in motion pictures. That is a bit of hyperbole, and the two siblings will try to support that claim with there recap of the events. B-Fest at least met our host’s expectations. Bad musicals (The Apple), some deep hurting (She-Devils on Wheels), kaiju (Tammy and the T-Rex), and roller skates (The Monkey Hospital). If only there was some classic action, but we will let the elder sibling speak on that (Runaway).

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 146: From Dusk Till...Marathon with @CouchManBakes

Eva is just disappointed

After a very successful Spooky Month that carried into Veterans Day, CatBusRuss felt it would be best to return to just reviewing movies this week. It was an opportunity to catch up on Ally's Accessories Shop of Etsy's Trash Feature Revue.

As it turns out, we are in the home stretch when it comes to covering all of the DVD's Russ's ex-girlfriend bought him to ensure the podcast would have content for at least three years. Back when she would visit Skimble "The One Eared Angel" weekly, three discs per letter of the alphabet were provided to our host. This podcast is in its third year, so we are about out of the "gems" that she provided.

Her efforts to represent each letter of the alphabet left some of the characters in better positions. In other words, we are out of T, U, and V (the last review was for "Swingers"). But, September and October's need for horror left CatBus jumping from the letter L ("The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" [1979]) to the Letter P ("Puppet Master II"). So, to fill in for the missing letters, "Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with CatBusRuss" returns to M, N, and O.

Russ hopes that you will find at least two of these films to be charming. "The Night Listener" has strong Toni Collette and Robin Williams performances. "The Oranges" has a superb ensemble trying to carry a taboo May/November relationship tale. And some of you may have been charmed by Vince Vaughn in 2001's "Made". CatBus knows this because since he had friends who thought they should act like one of the characters that Jon Favreau wrote for Vaughn. This unacceptable behavior helped to hasten his move from Peoria to Downstate's Liberal Hotbed.

"Ninja III: The Domination" - A Cannon Film/The Good Kind of Bank Fraud

"Ninja III: The Domination" - A Cannon Film/The Good Kind of Bank Fraud

I suppose I should have been paying more attention to the movies "How Did This Get Made" had been riffing about since the pandemic occurred. Surely besides the recently release "Bloodshot", their producers must have been making an extra effort to find free movies from streaming services instead of just lousy ones.

Five minutes later...

There was no rhyme or reason as far as I could tell. It appears they are not in league with Shout! Factory which is kind of sad. Are the downloads lower when they cover a Roger Corman classic or a product of the Cannon Group? I am just saying that those films are comedy home runs while "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets", "Underworld: Blood Wars", and "Space Jam" tend to be horrid ideas that only The Asylum would try to knock off.

Films with at least 10's of millions of dollars as a minimum budget have to consider the concept of shame. If they fail, they will be remembered in infamy. This is why "Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films" was necessary. These films can be fondly remembered for solely being escapism and not art. It is basically mental porn, a break from your day or much needed relief.

Historians do not like to bring up porn when there is art to discuss, so there is a greater chance that we will lose films like "Ninja III: The Domination" from our collective consciousness. If this film (or most Cannon flicks not featuring Chuck Norris) had a plot that made as much sense as "Deep Throat", perhaps the conversation would be different.


Six bodyguards were not enough to protect a yuppie scientist as an evil ninja makes short work of them on a fairway. This is not your traditional Japanese assassin because stealth is quickly abandoned, which leads to the police easily finding him on the golf course and quickly dispatch the entire force to stop this threat, green fees be damned. Perchance, the ninja may just be respecting the sanctity of the course. Regardless, he seems to not only mean to take no prisoners, but goes out of his way to maximize his kill count.

Eventually, the police shoot him enough times that he retreats to die in seclusion. Thanks to being discovered by phone lineswomen, Chrissy, he gets a break. When she goes to assist, he gives her his sword, and along with it, his spirit. Also being an aerobics instructor, she is the perfect weapon for the ultimate killer. His ability to take over her body assures that he will kill the remainder of the police force that is responsible for his death because only a ninja can destroy another ninja's spirit.

"Ninja III: The Domination" provides the audience with everything that was accepted as cool in the early 80's. The generally considered nonsensical story (Maybe I am overly observant. I was the excuse a bunch of my high school classmates used to rewatch "Donnie Darko". Russ will make sense of it.) allows for anything to happen like possessed arcade machines and V8 as an aphrodisiac. Every kind of ploy to keep the viewer's interest seems to lead them being forgiving of a ninja film with no exterior night scenes.

I hate to say it, but there is nothing great about the production of the film. The editing is poor, the visual effects outside of creepy laser and doll on string effects are bad or nonexistent, we see that our female lead's nipples have been taped down, and it seemed designed for HBO airings. F.W. Murnau (per John Malkovich) said, "If it isn't in frame, it doesn't exist!" Making sure to get all those TV replays, director Sam Firstenberg crams all the action into the 3x4 perspective. That results in shooting a ninja while forming a circle to attack more ridiculous.

The acting is all passable and you cannot help but enjoy "Big Trouble in Little China's" James Hong (Lo Pan) as an exorcist. What makes the feature work is that is so over-the-top with its premise(s) and set pieces, you want to see how it resolves. It is like the creative forces knew that this film could only be so bad that it's good, and they were just careful enough for it to stay at that level. No risks were taken to try and deliver art, so it does not insult the audience's intelligence.

When I left "Ninja III: The Domination", my only thought was that we need a cheesy version of this film every decade. Its charm is that captures everything we look back shamefully on in terms of trends to ground a ridiculous story. This is what we should have started seeing when the parody film genre had played itself out.

"Ninja III" is fun for fun sake. It will not turn you away with being too violent, too sexualized, or too mean spirited. You are suppose to just sit back and forget about your troubles. I was thinking about how I wished it could have mixed some "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" elements when they had a battle in a dilapidated home. Who would not rather do that than thing about moving to a place where the police may have dug out a bullet from the bedroom floor? This is one of the best Cannon Films because it is an absolute escape.

HDGTM Pandering: Rollerball (2002) & From Dusk Till...Marathon

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 153: @HDTGM Pandering: Rollerball (2002), Jason Statham's Blitz + ThePoeticCritic

Eva prefers the 1975 rules of Rollerball

So "Ninety For Chill" is addressing the Chris Klein-led "Rollerball" remake. This obviously means the past couple of weeks have been a comedy of errors for CatBusRuss. These faults include: car issues, difficulty finding guests for the show and balancing them with his dating life, and enduring another "far right" kick.

Comedy is the key term in that paragraph. The "How Did This Get Made" movie podcast will be covering John McTiernan's "Rollerball" on Friday, January 26, 2024. To get the most out of this, our host is doing his homework.

To further be on the same page as the HDTGM crew, CatBus went into his vaults to review "Blitz". This British police procedural stars patron saint of Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, and June Diane Raphael's podcast, Jason Statham. In other words, Russ could not manage the time to see the latest Statham action flick, "The Beekeeper". Nothing seems to be working out for the overworked podcaster.

To further emphasize the difficulties Russ has been having, he did have another chat about the state of cinema with ThePoeticCritic. Too bad the mics were not set up ideally. But the audio can be heard with a bit of static, so it maybe worthwhile to stick through this week's featured reviews.

After two movies reviews and forty minutes of chatter, you also get to further participate in the burial of Chris Jericho. CatBus may need to get through the "Terrifier" franchise to be fair to The Ocho, but after "Albino Farm", he is left thinking that Y2J may not be able to provide any positive contributions outside of the ring.

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 155: From Dusk Till...Marathon with @CouchManBakes

Eva Doesn't Tweet

Andrew "CouchManBakes" Tiede makes his 2024 return to "Ninety For Chill", and once again, the feature that he wanted to chat about was just over 100 minutes long. The feature is the Robert Rodriguez directed (and Quentin Tarantino co-penned) "From Dusk Till Dawn". This of course means that to cover this feature, CouchMan and CatBusRuss must partake in a marathon.

For the most part, Rodriguez's movies have fairly tight runtimes, so our host should have had no difficulty coming up with a movie marathon dedicated to El Rey. Well, the Tex-Mex tinged James Bond tribute "Machete Kills" was just a couple of minutes too long. To assure that we still have a Danny Trejo triple feature before Midnight's main event, Russ chose to open the festivities with the Tarantino/Rodriguez produced, Robert Patrick-led, vampire-themed bank heist flick, "From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money". To justify skipping "Machete", The Six Raven Movie House still programmed the original trailer with the first feature of 2007's "Grindhouse", "Planet Terror".

Andrew has yet to program a quadruple feature for his Sasquatch Cinema House, and the trend continues. Unlike the prior marathon (The Marathon: Child's Play, Wraiths, and Other THINGs), he skipped trying to find three sub 100-minute movies and just chose bangers from Rodriguez's filmography. These are the third "El Mariachi" tale, "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" and his collaboration with comic book legend Frank Miller, "Sin City".

On paper, this could be a contentious podcast. We have Amber Heard versus Johnny Depp after all. If Andrew's triple feature was not enough, his cinema has just become 420 friendly. Surely it is better to go to the Russ's theater that now features an arcade for the kids? Of course, the two cannot get too heated once their shared love for "Lucha Underground" is discussed.

"Coraline" in 12 Parsecs & Super Mario Bros. 93

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss Episode 159: "Coraline" in 12 Parsecs with HappyBeebsMeowMeow It is never too late...