The problem with TV
wrestling is that you can do other things while you are watching it
(republishing this blog as I am watching NXT UK Takeover Blackpool).
Ring of Honor has gotten really good of late showing what TNA could have
been doing with "Aces and Eights," but with one hour of holding back up
and coming talent (and STANDARD DEFINITION) does not require my total
attention. So may as well as try to be a bit productive (as much as
drunkenness allows--all the parentheticals act as a tribute to CS
Lewis), may as well get a little writing out of the way.
Step back a moment, this is a Main Event of the Dead blog.
How's the lighting at the Bellevue Plaza? Another promotion is filling
the venue, I figure they may need some creative influence. You can
dispute my wrestling ability, but my writing ability? I've got some
negative feelings towards certain individuals, but if you want some
exposure for your over-the-hill ass (New York won't higher you if you're
over 30 [Pre Samoa Joe]), I've got the ideas. Hell, you'll feel like a
star instead of somebody who should be strictly devoted to putting
people over.
As for my wrestling career, anyone under 30 wants a trained professional
wrestler to be an apprentice to--and you don't have the respect for the
business to pay Danny Daniels (or Marek Brave and Tyler Black) over
$2000 (BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD)--let me know. I got the mind to win you
downstate.
This blog is a little disjointed. I'd like to say it's "Fight
Club"-esque, but I'm just saving the long part for last (if you are here
for the Stephen Doff (how can the fuck use two F's for his last name
and not use a V for his first--apart from his awesomeness). I better
cover my gun control rant. My movie review could support my argument,
but I don't like spoilers.
If you want a movie to support my argument, rent...fuck own..."Red
State." It's not Kevin Smith's best film, but it's a five star project
that is as important as "Night of the Living Dead." To sum it up, those
who want all the guns shouldn't have them. And those who have the guns
shouldn't have them. In conclusion, no one should have guns, unless
the clips have rubber bullets. Put a hollow point in Bambi's mom, fine
(bull shit, who shoots a doe, but fine). If you kill a man with a
hollow point, you did it because you want the right to kill a human. So
you are a murderer. If you kill a man with a rubber round, I'll admire
your dedication. Got to appreciate someone who can beat the 90 to 1
odds.
Why did I bring up my leftist agenda on this blog instead of harshside.com?
Because I gotta let people know about my movie project, but I do need
to address those who disagree with my views, who may feel I am picking
on them.
If I take the time to comment about your politics, it's because I think
you are intelligent enough to understand my reasoning. I can list
people who do are not (Shawn, Nathan), but that would be in poor taste.
If you are offended by my implications, I'll put on the four-ounce
gloves to settle our differences. If you are offended because I
commented, at least do a two-month camp before you challenge me to shut
the fuck up. It's an indication you've got strong convictions, so best
be prepared to kick my butt for your convictions sake.
So on to "Carjacked:"
I don't understand Hollywood. That maybe a no brainer since I'm trying
to produce a movie in the Midwest, but how do actors immediately seem to
fall out our good graces. Stephen Dorff was the reason we loved
"Blade," but he only did indie films. Why didn't the Studios give him
an offer he couldn't refuse? I've yet to see a wretched Dorff film
(".45" was bad, but it was the script, not him. If it is a bad script,
an oversexed Milla Jovovich cannot save it). Maria Bello has never
disappointed (I heard she was awesome in "The Cooler," she was great in
so many ways in "A History of Violence" and she played her role in
"Thank You for Smoking" perfectly) so how did these two end up in an
Anchor Bay flick with an "Anchor Bay" storyline?
Fortunately, these two actors can make a beyond made for video flick
interesting for 90 minutes. As proven with "Carjacked." This flick is
worth being in your online Netflix cue, but don't get pumped to receive
this DVD in three days.
Loraine's life has been in the dumps since her GI husband walked out on
her. Her only outlet is anger management classes, but since the ex has
filed for sole custody of their son Chad, a break maybe inevitable. So
she may not be the best person for bank robber on-the-lamb Roy to
carjack. She's willing to cooperate, unless you threaten her kid that
she was going to treat to Bagel Bites. It's going to be a bumpy ride,
who has the less sensitive anus is the question.
"Carjacked" is a decent script which may have worked better as a play.
That means no car crashes. Fortunately, Stephen Dorff can keep your
attention whenever he is on screen. If you're a smoker who hasn't tried
an E-cigarette, you aren't staying up late enough to catch his
commercial.
Maria Bello knows how to act human better than anyone, so she is the
perfect match for the charisma of Dorff. They make it a good character
study, so you are amused for the run time. Without the bullshit of Syfy
channels special effects, this film is pretty watchable. For actors,
it's a great example of how to do it in spite of a poor
script--direction--production value. Also, for the aspiring filmakers,
move to Louisiana if you want to avoid the bullshit. "Down by Law" down
there.
"Carjacked" is a good way to kill 90 minutes. If you are a
pro-wrestling fan, just think of it as a shorter "Monday Night Raw."
Good background noise, you just need to stick to "Puzzle Fighter"
instead of "Pokemon." You just can't build up you Bulbasaur's levels in
the time provided.
Stephen Dorff should start reading classic literature audio books.
Getting my associates with an English major would have been so much
cooler.
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