Best 2020 Ninety-Minute (or 97 min) Film Discoveries for Chilling

 

90-Minute Redbox: "VFW" a Rutger Hauer Away from Grindhouse Perfection

*Blog post started on December 30, 2020.

I do not know why I was complaining about my lack of video gaming this past year after having seven honorable movies I saw which are not going to make this list. My video game purchases are rarely made at full price ("Cyberpunk 2077" this year, "Pokemon Shield" in 2019, "Smash Bros. Ultimate" in 2018, "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild" in 2017, "WWE 2K16" in 2016, aside from Target "Buy 2 get 1 half off" deals, I am saving quite a bit on games. Maybe my retro purchases make up for the new game savings.). It just despairs me that I have lost another passion. Thanks 2020.

After this train wreck of a year in terms of the cinema, there is a bit of a fear that we are not going to receive much for content. Is NinetyForChill.com going to suffer do to that? It may just revert to the B-Movie archive that I may have intended it to be. If that happens, will anyone be interested in becoming a guest for "Ninety for Chill: The Pod" (Drop me russthebus07@gmail.com an email if you are interested.)?

If we want to think about more pressing matters, is this list going to suffer from me inadvertantly rushing through it when it comes to making the December 31 deadline? By me mentioning seven movies that I wish I would be able to include in the list, it seems appropriate to throw three more fun flicks in before we get to the top 10. What can I say? I love a challenge, or I am just innately make things more challenging.

How can I podcast. How can I handle two resolutions? Do I write off the daily something Buffalo meal?

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling 

 

2.5-Hour Double Feature - "The Velocipastor" and "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To"

 

avil_slare - Pinterest

90-Min Netflix DVD - "Silent Running" Great Message in a Pre Space Opera World

Bad Taste: Peter Jackson, The WWE Intercontinental Championship, and Billy Corgan

 *Blog post started on October 16, 2020.

My three day weekend cannot come soon enough. The Staley blog network (NinetyForChill.com, MainEventOfTheDead.com, Russ's Remnants of Anime, and Disgruntled Real Championship Wrestling) are scheduled out to early November, so it will be a nice change of pace to not keep stockpiling content. The biggest problem for my blogs right now is a dependence upon wrestling content.

And with that said, I may as well address recent championship title changes in pro wrestling. "Bad Taste" is in the title of this blog post, and that is the general consensus of what people think the fans of that industry have. My personal taste says we fans should lean into that more, but when I suggest the Katie Vick was a fun angle, that opinion maybe disqualified.

As a horror and occasional raunchy comedy fan, I respect when the creators take something further than what the audience considers far enough. If Triple H did not toss the brains at the end of the funeral parlor segment, my thoughts about the angle would be that it was in poor taste. Once that poor taste has been taken to the bad realm, the imagination of the audience has been destroyed. To gain that kind of control is something I admire.

For my argument with Billy Corgan over poor versus bad taste, visit MainEventOfTheDead.com.

Is the Intercontinental Championship greater than the TNT Championship? See why it is not be visiting DRCWwrestling.blogspot.com. 

Three-on-one handicap match against the champion versus a dog collar blood bath: Cody's title victory is the superior than Zayn's.

A blood bath serves as a perfect transition into how I finally got around to Peter Jackson's debut directorial effort, "Bad Taste". The prior night, I revisited the failed lesbian take on the already pretentious "Dead Poets Society", Canada's "Lost and Delirious". It ended up being a downer of a film on top of that, so I needed something to cleanse my pallet. "Young Adult" is still a disc that I need to open, but as a depressed writer, I did not think the feature was right to bounce back from patriarchal bullshit (The only valid thing about "Lost and Delirious outside a Graham Greene supporting role is that it took place in the current day, so making it about accepting teenage lesbians at an up tight boarding school a good premise.).

As I looked through my unwatched DVD's and Blu-rays, "Young Adult" was the only film under 97 minutes. Anything purchased on iTunes was either foreign or experimental, so I did not know if I had the attention span for those. So I turned to Amazon Prime's offerings, and "Bad Taste" beat out "Night of the Demons" as my choice to add to my 90-minute movie data base.

Was there really a choice between these two "classics"? It is an Academy Award winner B-movie versus the guy who directed the sequel to Charlie Sheen's "The Arrival". To director Kevin Tenney's credit, his movie called "Brain Dead" from 2007 did help inspire me to write my B-movie script, "Main Event of the Dead". Email russthebus07@gmail.com with any questions about my production.

Bad Taste

The Astro Investigation and Defense Service (a joke that may have been ahead of its time) is investigating the town of Kaihoro, New Zealand. There seems to be no locals present, just a group of men in identical blue work shirts and jeans. Barry and Derek are the advance team. 

Barry is quick to capture one of these men while Derek is being tracked by an axe-wielding simpleton who he destroys with his magnum. Based on the reaction the two have received upon arrival, Barry is certain these are not friendly aliens with glowing fingers but extra terrestrials who intend to end humanity. It is a good thing their action-loving team members Frank and Ozzy (Is this a Muppet joke?) are en route to this town.

With all this ruckus, a gang of these aliens mount a counter attack which results in Barry taking a fall that leaves him with a compound fracture of the skull. The team writes him off, but the persistence of Barry allows him to figure out ways to keep his brain matter in his cranium, but perhaps at the cost of his sanity. Unfortunately, our heroes cannot leave because a charity collector, Giles, had arrived before Frank and Ozzy could block the roads into town.

Giles is soon captured, so the boys are set on rescuing him. As they infiltrate the alien base, they discover what has happened to the town folk. The aliens represent Crum's Country Delights and they have decided that human beings will be the dish that will make them competitive in the intergalactic fast food market once again. Kaihoro maybe lost, but there is no way the AIDS team is going to let Lord Crum and his cronies introduce this new menu item to space car hops.

"Bad Taste" is a very cheap slash-stick comedy which is very amateur in nature, but successfully shows there is a great director behind it. Peter Jackson shot this film over four years on weekends and the New Zealand film board took notice of his dedication. The result is a great exercise in practical gore effects while being more amusing and easier for the squeamish to stand than the similar efforts of Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead".

This film was a passion project of Jackson who knew this feature just had to get made. He was going to give audiences a bad film though, so his clever direction allows us to forgive the features shortcomings. It is more than apparent that Jackson lacked the means to produce high art, but his short cuts allow the audience to be in on the joke that these cheats are.

Until the finale, the action starts as being a little too sloppy for its own good. It starts to feel long, but the once a chainsaw-wielding psychopath is introduced, it finds its groove and becomes a ball until the gory climax that was repeated in "Dead Alive" and was missing from all of his features after (I may need to rewatch "The Frighteners" and "Heavenly Creatures" to confirm the lack of rebirth sequences.). Darn PG-13 and its limitations.

Excellent gore, a John Carpenter styled soundtrack, and the sheer absurdness of "Bad Taste" make this feature a classic. The film becomes more polished as it moves along (probably because of the New Zealand government funding), so it feels like you are learning about film makings alongside the great auteur Peter Jackson. It also leaves you missing the gory beauty that he was producing, but would you trade it for "The Lord of the Rings Trilogy? With the sheer amount of false endings in "Return of the King", perhaps.

 

A Very Merry James Woods Weekend: "Vampires" and "Videodrome"

 *Blog post started on December 14, 2020.

This is a fun vampire flick, but it shows the limitations of John Carpenter. His direction seems stretched by the quest elements of the tale and without one of his go to actors in the lead, it loses some of the feeling his classics have. He was best in the mid 80’s leaning in to his regulars. I wish he would be more insistent on doing that. Still, the FUN is there and James Wood is great. On to Bon Jovi taking over the franchise.

Check out my video visceral reactions to "Vampires" at Main Event of the Dead.

I suppose I am stretching out the weekend technically. This was probably watched on Wednesday, but I am in the midst of a 13-day stretch between both jobs, so time is kind of lost on me. "John Carpenter's Vampires" is almost an appropriate place to start as I am trying to use meal replacement shakes for 50% of my meals (I skip breakfast, unless I wake up before the alarm. Wendy's is killing it.). Sucking the blood out of someone felt like a reasonable means of recovering from the lack of sleep that "Cyberpunk 2077" led to.

It did not help when a coworker goes home because they were not feeling well. I work for a big box store, so you know they have COVID-19 protocols for their employees. If you passed the screening for the day, you got to work your shift. The argument can be made that it is flu season so not everything is corona virus. How you can suddenly change symptoms in two hours is my counter to that?

Fuck food poisoning. That is why I skip breakfast. I need to make the proletariat look good.

When my manager asked me to stay an extra hour (We could not get rid of the customers till a half hour after the Semisonic moment.), it seemed like the ill-feeling one was not a full-time employee. This means they did not have any time to use to make up the lost wages. If your lungs have not been overtaken by the pandemic, that really is the only reason to leave a job early. Use the sick time or lose the sick time. I can understand that proposition.

But on the flip side, at my bank job, we have one employee who uses the time that has been allocated to them while the coworker who should get more than six days of paternity leave cannot use his sick time to spend more time with his child and the kid's worn out mom. Should I rant about the corporate structure (Thank the gods that there is not really any right-leaning charities in Champaign. I would be judged for not participating in casual days for charity because of the not-for-profits that dominate the rest of Downstate Illinois [Christian pregnancy support groups, United Way, etc.].), or management at this location for not covering for the most senior banker here:?

If wanting to drain the employee who left with two opening to closing shifts is the only drama I have right now, things are pretty good. There was some hesitation about reviewing two James Woods movies because of the conservative moron he has become (I wanted to see the Democratic Party be destroyed after the Clinton impeachment trial, but I was an 18 year-old Mortonite. With experience, I learned who the bad guys truly are.), but everyone knows that the works of great directors should take precedence over the whom the producer believes will put butts in seats. Maybe this double-feature will let me get over my reservations and buy the Hades from "Hercules" Funko Pop. You cannot have Zeus without the douche.

And that reminds me, we need to bust our asses to get Tiny Lister into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. We must influence WWE programming some how. The WWE video arena must be conquered. Death to the McMahon family's Videodrome. Long with the new flesh.

Videodrome (1983)

Max Renn is one of the three partners who operated Channel 83 in Toronto. Their goal is to provide viewers with something they cannot get from traditional and regulated television stations. They must not be the only content providers with that goal, so when exploitative foreign entertainment seems to be too tame, Renn begins to search for programming that is down right sleazy and horrific. Luckily for them, their satellite technician Harlan is the master of television piracy and has discovered a show out of Pittsburgh called "Videodrome", an arena for torture, exploitation and murder.

Because of the signal scrambling, Channel 83 cannot just go air it. This leads Renn on a mission to find the people behind the show. With every clue he obtains, he starts experiencing violent hallucinations. Most of these involve his sadomasochistic girlfriend, Nikki, who has also made it her mission to "star" on "Videodrome". As he absorbs more of the shows content, the visions of his body becoming a means of distributing the content are the most prevalent.

He can neither make heads or tails of what is real or not. As far as he can tell, someone is manipulating him into becoming an organic VCR who will act on whatever tapes they insert into him. Is Renn a slave to Videodrome or is he the evolutionary link between television and humanity?

"Videodrome" gives you an almost incomprehensible concept and demands that the viewer sense of it. David Cronenberg is such a talented director that the audience wants to put this puzzle together while the violent and sexual themes suggest that they should be examining who they are.

The casting of James Woods is perfect because of his cynical and self-righteous demeanor many of his previous (and most of his latter) works have had. His characters tend to think that he is smarter than everyone, thus he can handle questionable material without being influenced by it. If you want a person who seems amoral, Woods was the go to. Renn starts out as the caricature of Woods and you become enamored with his journey from being amoral to trying to find meaning in a world that is falling apart.

Cronenberg keeps the atmosphere ambiguous enough that it is even hard for the audience to tell what is suppose to be real in this world and what is only in the head of the lead. By the third act, everything that happens has to be accepted as real if you hope to make any sense of it, but you know in the back of the mind, it cannot be.

Geiger body horror is never going to be a real thing. It is something that is so traumatizing, you want to believe that it cannot be real. This is the feeling that makes this film a classic.

If there is any shortcoming, it could be an under-developed supporting cast. Then again, if you add more characters to muddle Renn, the visceral discomfort might be lost. The impact of the body horror would be stretched so thin that the impact of it might be lost. Debbie Harry as Nikki and Jack Creley as video guide Prof. Brian O'Blivion are great avatars to ground Renn's journey without taking the focus away from the insanity.

"Videodrome" still makes viewers question the impact that visual content has on them and consider what the limits should or should not be. It is an expression of a dream that the audience has to be brave enough to indulge. David Cronenberg is happy to take you by the hand and drag you through it, and he rewards you for it. This definitely makes it one of the top horror films of the 80's, and I would not be surprised if Cronenberg dominates that list.

 

Videodrome (1983) [900x1200] by New Flesh - Reddit

 

 

The Doorman - Die Hard with Girl Power and a Norwegian Knock Off Bill Burr

 *Blog post started on October 27, 2020.

My prior vacation day, I felt I was clinging to my past. This most recent one(s), old is how I feel.

With a three-day weekend, I think I got a lot accomplished. There is a new tattoo. Peoria bars were fun with genuine interactions, and I made it to more of them than usual. I paid my respect to Stacia Marie Hardin and discovered a cool block of shops in Pekin. Who would not call the last Co Op records in the Heart of Illinois being located by a thrift shop and a used bookstore operated by TAPS No Kill Shelter (featuring kittens and a polydactyl cats) a little slice of heaven in a town whose mascot was once the Chink? To the town's credit, the appropriation of the dragon into their municipal logos is cool.

Since I will end up at some point putting out an abridged version of this post, let me fill up some space.  Thanks Redbox for the reasonable Blu-ray rental price and the inflated DVD rental fees. We as a society need to rid ourselves of standard def. Screw those who hate change. There is a good chance they will further ruin the country in a week. Let me have this.

This left me with a dilemma. I had a movie to watch and I would not be back from the bank until 6:15 pm. There was still dinner to make. So apologies for rushing through about five minutes of this Ruby Rose feature. The feeling of victory getting it back to an appropriate vending machine with 10 minutes to spare warrants this action. And it at least gave me some good vibes from this film.

The Doorman

Ali Gorski has recently been honorably discharged from the Marines. She has returned to New York City with a Silver Star and PTSD after she was the sole survivor of a terrorist attack on the ambassador to Romania's motorcade. This may make it difficult to find employment, but fortunately, her Vietnam veteran uncle, Pat, has an in for her at the high end apartment complex where he is serves as the maintenance man. Unbeknownst to her, her late sister's family lives in the building. Her brother-in-law, Prof. John Stanton, is a pretentious Brit who holds himself responsible for the past strife between his wife and Ali and her subsequent leaving to join the military to begin with.

The building has been around since Prohibition, so it is currently undergoing renovation. It is about to kick off in full force, but the Stanton's have arranged to stay in over the Easter weekend before waiting out the updates in London. As for the other residents, only the nice elderly couple that have been living on the ground floor will be staying through out it.

The husband is a stroke survivor who does not like change (I wish I could get the names of these characters, but it appears both these performers chose to forgo being credited.). No one knows that this man has smuggled out priceless painting from East Berlin who has hid them in their original apartment that now belongs to the Stantons. No one except the other doorman, Borz, and his true employer, Victor Dubois.

A serendipitous mint sauce spill leads to Ali going to visit this couple to see if they had any leftover sauce to borrow. This means Ali is not present when her family has been taken by Dubois and his crew. Seeing that the elder's apartment had been raided and the couple murdered, Ali will use her particular set of skills to takedown these ruthless thieves and save the only family she has left.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. It is disappointing that "The Doorman" is the first leading role that Ruby Rose has had on film since she broke out with "Orange Is the New Black", but what makes this project even worse is that it was directed by Ryuhei Kitamura. Kitamura is the director who put one of my favorite goregasmic sequences on film in "The Midnight Meat Train" and helmed the innovative Yakuza zombie film "Versus". On the upside you get a chatty Jean Reno as a villain, but his French charms cannot polish the dialogue enough.

And recalling "Meat Train", are you telling me that there was not a spot for Vinnie Jones in this cast? "The Big Ugly" was good, but definitely not something you would release at an AMC. He is definitely an expense I think this film could have afforded. I am not asking him to be the lead, but set this flick in London and make this about an ex-sergeant in the royal army, you have a lot more talent in terms of action to pull from. It would be better than Aksel Hennie trying to impersonate Bill Burr from "The Mandalorian".

Could Rose not pull off an English accent? Her American is really solid.

The premise of a female-lead "Die Hard" has legs, but since I immediately went into how this project could have been saved, the misses make this film seem like it was directed by an Imperial stormtrooper. 

There is only one scene with any amusing dialogue. The close quarter action sequences are shot horribly. It does not help that our villains cannot die with any believability in there death throws. Any kind of exterior makes it seem like Tommy Wiseau was in Kitamura's ear. I am just hoping this was a rush job in terms of direction or something was lost in translation from the script. Any action sequence outside the finale is choreographed well enough, but it feels like your brain is squinting to catch that.

It is starting to seem that I should start comparing the quality of my script for "Main Event of the Dead" a no/low budget, zombie-themed pro-wrestling movie I am trying to produce to the bad movie that I am reviewing. For inquiries on helping me out with this production or to obtain an updated treatment of the script, email russthebus07@gmail.com. I had copyrighted the first version of my script, and it needs some polishing, but I am confident saying that it is better than "The Doorman".

"The Doorman" is a painful miss on many levels. After "John Wick: Chapter 2", I want to see Ruby Rose as the next action heroine (Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron may only have a decade left in terms of spryness.). When you see Jean Reno on the poster, you expect a clever action flick. It is one thing to not deliver on either of those, but when you fail to present something watchable with those elements, that is damn near criminal, especially from a director whose prime may only be a decade ago.

CineMaterial.com - The Doorman (2020)

 

 

"Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons: The Movie" - My Little Pony Did Not Need Two Subtitles

 *Blog post started on November 3, 2020.

It was the start of a new month at the bank yesterday, so I had my hands full with monthly tasks. Catching up on all the news websites did not occur, but there really is not much news, so at least I am not too far behind. The holding pattern and perhaps this unlikely democracy ends tonight, so at least I do not need to worry about having the time to fill with new content.

A negative result to the election would be a Catch 22 for this creative sole. If we fall into a dictatorship, cutting myself off from media means more writing. Of course, I can only talk about so many movies and so much wrestling.

I guess I am just in an existential conundrum. It is a chaotic time and I start to think about all the consequences this election will have. This leads me to worry about the worst and what should be done to resolve it. There are hopes that someone wiser takes this decision away from us Americans.

That was suppose to be a transition to my review of the theatrical adaptation of "Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons", but it looks like I am just being Anakin Skywalker emo in the fields of Naboo, calling on someone wise to rule. The depression must be real.

To my credit, I am just asking for someone to end the corruption, not necessarily rule. At least this "Deathstroke" feature has a protagonist wise enough to know he cannot take power when he shakes up a government. Too bad I am left with more dread from the "Teen Titans Go!" interpretation of this character.

"Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons: The Movie" 

Slade Wilson is a loving family man. He has been happily married to his wife Adeline and they have a son Joseph who is fascinated by the world of legend from the books his father reads to him. Joseph sees his father as a knight saving the world from the evils that exist. This perception could not be further from the truth.

Wilson is also the mercenary Deathstroke. He is the product of an army medical testing to create a means to make their soldiers heal faster. The military along with his wife thought these experiments failed, so this allows Wilson and his former MI6 handler, Wintergreen, sell this one man army's services to the highest bidder. Whoever wins the auction best be aware though, Deathstroke will provide them only if you are worthy enough.

The Hive, a collective of amoral assassins, know they are not worthy of Wilson's services, but they still want the best on their team. Led by the Jackal, they decide that surely Wilson will trade his independence for his sons life. They soon find out not to underestimate his abilities as he leaves only one of his son's captors alive. Ironically, this ordeal exposes his double life, so Adeline leaves him and decides to send Joseph, now mute, to Swiss boarding school to protect him.

10 years later, Wilson receive a communication from the Hive Queen. It turns out that the organization has rebuilt itself and has ambitions of world domination. These ambitions again involve his son, whom they have discovered has telekinetic and telepathic powers. The Queen claims, if Deathstroke is a handgun, the newly christened Jericho is a nuclear bomb. Both Wilsons will have to come together to not only save their son, but the world.

"Deathstroke: Knights and Dragons: The Movie" has some fun moments, but as a fan of DC media, accepting a heroic take on "The Terminator" is difficult. This feature is the final product of what was to be a 12-episode digital series, and the inconsistency of the production make that more than evident. It is not necessarily bad, but it is an unquestionable misfire.

IMDb -Deathstroke Knights & Dragons: The Movie (2020)

Titmouse, the studio I know best for "Metalocalypse" and "Superjail!" (Yes, "The Venture Bros." too, but the "chirp" logo does not stand out as much as it does with their 11-minute productions of pure insanity.) was behind this production. It appears they were trying to capture a middle ground visually between the more hand-drawn look of "The Venture Bros" and the flash-based look of their more experimental shorts. It just does not end up fitting well together. Like the the story.

This project was originally intended to 12 30-minute episodes leads to a lot of edits that result in pacing that goes from slow to panicked in a breath. As a result, the plot becomes overly ambitious for the runtime. You can either have an origin tale, or the end of the world. You cannot have both.

Nothing outside the script and animation is overly impressive. I like the casting of go to black Englishman Colin Salmon as Wintergreen/Black Alfred, but none of the actors really stand out. "The Shield" is a show I might need to watch to appreciate Michael Chiklis as the lead. Until then, his "Robot Chicken" appearances have landed better with me.

And I could not get over this heroic light they place on Deathstroke. It is inconsistent with everything I have seen. Granted, his origin tale is foreign to me, but when you lose an eye to Damian Wayne in "Son of Batman", it is difficult to be sold on you as noble. They try to balance this hero persona with the graphic means of dispatching henchmen, but when that is only 20-minutes of content, the rest of his actions make him seem dull and incapable of harassing the Teen Titans.

Deathstroke may deserve his own product, but like the Joker, he does not deserve a redemption tale. Because of this, I wonder how "Deathstroke: Knights & Demons" made it out of the development stages. If the production was solid, it could have saved this feature from being weak, but it does not change the fact that it was a bad idea to begin with.

 

 

90-Minute Redbox: "VFW" a Rutger Hauer Away from Grindhouse Perfection

 *Blog post started on November 17, 2020.

It is a bad time for this nation to be in a holding pattern. A part of me wishes Donald Trump would do something dramatic, like when H.W. Bush found a reason to bomb Iraq before 1992 ended. In other words, I finally gave into buying a microphone to podcast with. If there is not any drama, what is there to podcast about?

Is that what I should put down in my Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meet Bagel, and OK Cupid profiles (Zoosk and Plenty of Fish have lost their usefulness.)? Single chonk male looking for podcast cohost.

I wish I had more to say. That is obvious since this blog post is discussing podcasting. It is tempting to let loose that wrestling idea. If I would have just overlooked trying to own my comedic screenplay about pro-wrestlers versus zombies, "Main Event of the Dead", maybe I would have that IMDb cred I crave. (If you have any suggestions on how to get this production out of development hell or would like a treatment of the screenplay, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com). The details of the film could have gave my readers something to cheer on or even claim ownership of, like a local band before they break big.

I guess my first podcast could be an oral history of "Main Event of the Dead" and the Fangoria-panned "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Do not take my noting of a negative review as a personal attack Mr. Knotts. My bringing up the name of the most famous/infamous horror movie magazine is being used as a transition to the following movie review, The Fangoria co-production, "VFW", a more horrific and authentic story of old soldiers kicking ass.

 

VFW (2019)

The opioid epidemic has further evolved. A new drug called Hype has hit the market, but with limited supplies, junkies know as hypers are quick to becoming homicidal to get their score from whomever they can. This has lead to such an influx in crime that the police have taken to sheltering in place leaving the public to fend for themselves. Fortunately, if you do not have much worth taking, the criminal element leaves you alone. Thus, Fred and his Vietnam War buddies can kickback and relax at VFW 2494.

Well, they could just chill out as the world burns, but a young woman with $500,000 of hype barges is as she runs from a couple of machete-wielding drug dealers. This assault results in Korean War vet Doug being critically injured and Fred quickly responding with a shotgun barrage that leaves one of the assailants minus a skull and the other retreating. It turns out that the girl, Lizard, has stolen the drugs to ruin Boz, the kingpin responsible for her sister's death.

If that is not enough motivation for the hypers to attack the VFW, Boz's brother is the thug who lost his head. This leaves our crew of 70 somethings and an Army Ranger who has just returned from the longest war in a position where they cannot negotiate their way out of it. Too bad for Boz that being under siege is where this crew feels most comfortable. Fred's crew is quick to make the bar into a trap the Vietcong would admire. When the opponents army is a bunched of crazed junkies, placing a bet on the Veterans of Foreign Wars seems like a sound one.

"VFW" scratches itches for lots of genre fans. The gore hounds will be happy with the effects. Grindhouse fans will love the aesthetic and style. Action aficionados will love the legendary line up and the brutality they express. It could have been a little more tongue-in-cheek for my taste, but how ridiculous can a feature safely be?

 My favorites features in this grindhouse revival (outside of "Death Proof") are the Soska Sisters' "Dead Hooker in a Trunk" and Jason Eisener's "Hobo with a Shotgun". I am just a fan of the gimmicky nature. You can still be visceral, but the audience knows the humor is always present. "VFW" does not have the same, "This is a joke" nature so you are applauding the ridiculous over the top violence. Some may say that the audience is seeing humor from the craziness (Like when Edward Norton's Narrator demolishes Jared Leto's Angelface in "Fight Club"), but crazy is not always funny. If you watch this film without focusing on finding humor where it is not, "VFW" is a nice change of pace from the overtly outlandish genre.

The visual style fits perfectly with the grindhouse genre. It is grainy and dirty. There are times where a little light could have helped the flick out, but when you are paying six legendary performers (Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, Martin Kove, David Patrick Kelly, and George Wendt), interior lights can be considered a budgetary luxury. My only issue with the budget is they did not give John Ratzenberger a seat at the bar. Maybe Pixar said no.

To accompany the grime, you have a John Carpenteresque score. I may need to rewatch this after stating that because outside of the action, there is a lot of generic metal on the soundtrack. For the director, Joe Begos, this is the best compliment I think I can offer. It felt so much like "Prince of Darkness" or "Assault of Precint 13" that my brain going to a synthesizer default means you have captured greatness with this homage.

The most important thing about "VFW" is that it looks like everyone is having fun. There have definitely been better Sadler, Williamson, and Kelly performances, but this is not high art. It is a payday and probably a brief one at that. I find that it can be very charming for a film to feel like they just went out and shot it and were then done with it...

Hence why I am trying to make "Main Event of the Dead" my first feature. If you want to help me out, drop russthebus07@gmail.com an email.

There are a lot of features that try to gather a bunch of once beloved stars together to make some bank solely based on nostalgia. About 50% of the time, they decide to just give these actors a check but no screenplay. "VFW" is not one of those features.

"VFW" is aware that it is putting great and always competent actors in a place where there charms can carry the ridiculous. This allows everyone an in when it comes to watching this film. After they are in, be it gore, nostalgia, or action, everyone will find something great and should leave happy. You leave really wishing that blockbusters focused on being instant classics instead of being risk-less cash grabs.

 

 

 

 

2.5-Hour Double Feature - "The Velocipastor" and "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To"

 

 *Blog post started on December 10, 2020. "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To" review is from 2009.

 

 "The Velocipastor" is a film so set on being a B-movie, you admire its audacity to do so. It is a fun 70 minutes about a priest cursed by a Chinese dinosaur "tooth" who, a long with Carol the pre-med, pre-law hooker, takes on the challenge of Catholic drug-dealing ninjas.

 

"It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To": The Catalyst for "Main Event of the Dead".

I suppose some credit should go to Christopher R. Mihm's "It Came from Another World" and of course the Drunken Zombie Deadly Double Features where I saw these films. The point is, when you see a bunch of amusing pictures that were made by a bunch of friends gathering together to make a thing, regardless of how nonexistent a budget was, why would you not think that you could do the same. Thus, I went from writing an indie flick about blueprints for my in ring wrestling return to what I thought would be an ode to the fledgling Peoria's wrestling scene.

This idea was over at Richard's on Main St. (i.e. the middle aged). Too bad the Pekin kids and Southside stoners never went out to the bars. Social media was also something that was not a big draw for these types in the early 20-teens. The Facebook traffic picked up, but the people you wanted to immortalize would only respond to me if I was calling them out for being racist assholes or self absorbed and ignorant wrestlers (To be fair, you can accuse me of being self absorbed, but I have never gone out to ruin anyone's life or make them feel less for that.).

Needless to say, I do not think the word had ever gotten to them that there was a chance to be covered in pasty makeup and Karo Syrup. More importantly, their in ring skills were to be documented and viewed by lesser film festivals and top level indie wrestling promotions. How can you say no to promoting yourself?

That sums up the Peoria wrestling scene. It is all about friends doing favors for other friends. Who needs merit and effort when you just have to score some boys some weed, make the high ones chuckle, or just kiss ass to the biggest and most obnoxious marks? As long as you are not looking for a pay day or show ambition to make a name for yourself, you are in.

So where does my pro-wrestling zom-com stand. I am still offering treatments of the script and looking for suggestions on how to get "Main Event of the Dead" out of development hell. (email russthebus07@gmail.com). The pandemic is also hurting the project because I have no way of improving my skills or finding people who would want to get involved with this feature. Of course 2020 was the year I wanted to get away from the keyboard and find those like-minded people.

It is coming up on 10 years of trying to live and die by this script. If you want me to have a New Year's Resolution, I suppose I will get my pilot script out for an idea that has been rattling in my brain the past four years. Too bad I feel gratuitous nudity is needed. That idea prevents YouTube from allowing me those producer and director credits I have been craving.

If you do not have a budget, bare skin can make up for those shortcomings. Too bad I do not know how to add zombies into the pilot idea. It leaves me short of presenting a classic like:

"It's My Party and I'll If I Want To" (2007): The Review

 

Tom Savini's hard nipples, a comic book opening with an eight-bit motif, a budget that was seemingly solely spent on scary contact lenses, and an Elvira costume-sporting, ginger karate expert with stunt tits are what Scotchworthy Productions delivers with their Halloween-themed clusterfest, "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To."

Sarah, a switchblade-wielding over achiever is down because it seems that all of her friends have forgotten her birthday. This is not the case because they are planning a wicked party for her at the abandoned Burkitt Manor. The mansion is infamous for the 15 murders that occurred there over the past 70 years. Little do they know that after Uncle Tom (Savini) turned the power on to the joint, evil has awoken.

"It's My Party..." story eventually gets all jumbled and, aside from the survivalism element, makes no sense once the action kicks in. Fortunately, there is plenty of gore to make all of the violence worthwhile.

Everything that Tony Wash's film has is over the top which is essential for an awesome B-Movie. Character generalizations, gratuitous nudity, and attempts to be clever: This picture knows what is is and wants to excel at.

Having not seen "Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead", this maybe the best no budget flick to have played Peoria (At least until "The Drunken Zombie International Film Festival" brought us the Soska Sisters' debut feature "Dead Hooker in a Trunk"). As long as you can deal with the low body count, "It's My Party and I'll Die if I Want To" has something for every fan of B-Movie horror. Rarely, do all the bloody pieces fit so well.

 

19 Awful(ly Funny) Horror Movie Titles - Buzzfeed

 

90-Minute Red Box: "The Hunt" a Great Wind Down from "Full Gear" Weekend.

 *Blog post started on November 9, 2020.

 

All the ratty clothes that I do not want Mom to throw out have been washed. I have yet to open up the vape from my last NuEra visit, but when you have a bit of liquidity to your finance, further stockpiling seemed like a wise move. If only it was not next door to my laundromat, the dispensary might be out of mind. Mooching water from my places of work has been optimized. This all means that I am ready to hibernate for the winter.

 

At least I am more ready for winter than those Charmin Bears. Get a bidet. You can use less with Charmin, but the fur must still require more bog rolls than what I use. Then again, they might be stuck on the product because of a perineal fixation, but bidet manages that better.

 

The hibernation talk is because I am just feeling exhausted. It might be the diabetes, but the sudden onset of this throws me off. After all of the reestablishing a relationship with OSF, I think these symptoms have suddenly become prevalent. Or it could just be 2020.

 

2020 is perhaps the year that Trump's America deserved. Too bad they just reject any kind of suggestion in the name of liberty. Since we all know they are delusional, it is easy just to ignore them when their deity will soon be forced off his pedestal. If you consider his health and skin color, calling him a golden cow is not much of a stretch. You figure his moronic followers are more aware of the Old Testament than the new based on the values they display.

 

If only they understood irony. If they did, we would not have to worry about hate crimes before the term ends. I am little bit concerned for the President Elect with a Friday the 13th coming up. Otherwise, a weekend with great wrestling and a decent 90-minute flick, it is the closest I have been to being carefree in a while.

 

AEW Full Gear and DRCW Title Changes

Who are the Champions my friends. Find out at DRCWwrestling.blogspot.com.

 

My Other Hunt this Past Weekend: "The Hunt"

When a liberal elite's server was hacked, a text thread about a manor in Vermont was leaked online. It suggests that these elite gather up deplorable conservatives, take them to this manor, and hunt them for sport to serve as an outlet for their frustration with them pushing the racist, homophobic, and antiscience views of the 45th president. The far right conspiracies' web presences have dubbed it Manorgate.

 

If this is happening, the left does not have to worry about their safety, so no one with any sense takes it seriously. For those who lack that, a fresh dozen of likely QAnon followers have woken up in the woods in what seems to be the middle of nowhere. In a clearing, they find a crate filled with weapons. Once they have all grabbed their firearm of choice, they soon realize they are the latest guests at the Manor. It is a controlled environment, so there is likely no escape. Here's hoping the stereotypes about militia fans are true because their lives depend on those pseudo military skills.

"The Hunt" was the satire I needed to cleanse my palette of the matriarchal suggestion of "The Second Civil War". It finds the middle ground to judge both sides from and provides a story where stuff actually happens instead of just trying to be clever with dialogue. If there is a flaw, it is that the violence could have been more grindhouse inspired for my taste.

The humor comes from the absurdity of the situations and the characters. So I think that calls for absurd violence instead of generally brief (yet graphic) or implied brutality. Gore is absurd, thus appropriate. Especially when the film's premise sparked immediate controversy and was so volatile that the release date got pushed back due to the Dayton and El Paso mass shootings. If you are going to even release such a feature, you should go for broke.

Fortunately, the story itself is solid and involving enough that you could have almost gotten away with a near bloodless production. The beauty of the feature is that the viewer cannot like anyone on either side except our primary survivor who never mentions their politics in the picture. You want everyone to get their comeuppance except the character with the live and let live attitude outside the Manor and kill or be killed in it. Everyone is going to die in a story like this, but it is rare that you get to applaud every death.

Production wise, there is not much to complain about. Director Craig Zobel has some difficulty filming action in closed off environments, but this is a hunt, so most of the kills are sudden and no one gets to fight back. Because of this, any director could have taken on this project, but Zobel was brave enough to do so.

Obviously, the script is brilliant. It shows the world from a centrist light and avoids telling the audience how to resolve the issues. Anyone with an extreme viewpoint is a danger to the masses, so do not become one of them is the moral. The liberal Hollywood trick to it is that the left in this film has a point to make. Good satire still needs the viewer to pick a side. That side characters could be flawed and awful, but their message is still valid.

 

All "The Second Civil War" did was just say identity politics are going to ruin the nation. It did not dare say that there was away to avoid it. Otherwise, it is a great cast delivering dialogue that can offer funny premises, but nothing is done with them. "The Hunt" delivers on the absurd nature of both sides with the moral of do not let you politics make you a douche. "The Boys" has a similar message at the end of the second season, but I got to be careful with my C-bombs.

"The Hunt" provides the audience with a crazy premise and delivers on the promise of a high moron kill count. Both sides can enjoy it and reflect on who they really are as people, provided they have the patience and stomach for the feature.

 

As a straight satire, I had as much fun watching "The Hunt" as I did "Doctor Strangelove". If a director of Kubrick's skill had directed this, it would be a modern masterpiece. But we all like looking over Da Vinci's sketches, so give this a view.

 

 

Mother of Tears, Redheaded Stepchild

jposter.net

 

A common complaint about legendary Italian horror director Dario Argento is that his directorial style being based around his visuals, instead of his story. With La terza Madre, Dimension Extreme’s "Mother of Tears", may have been his attempt to dispel this and surprisingly does not span beyond the gore that is associated with the genre, thus may have taken away the chance for its American distributor to claim some of their films as art.

Witches from all over the world are flocking to Italy’s capitol. Crime is rampant, mothers are murdering their children, and the only person who might be able to stop the rise of the Mother of Tears is Sarah (Asia Argento from XXX, Land of the Dead). She is the daughter of the white witch whose life ended during her battle with the Mother of Sighs (from Argento’s Suspiria). With latent powers inherited from her mother, no other person may be able to prevent the “Second Fall of Rome.”

Being filmed in English and not having the opportunities for the large scale shots Argento is known for, fans of the director might be disappointed in the conclusion to the "Three Mothers" trilogy. It does not seem as prolific as his other films, and the story is very linear. There is little mystery in the story, so the viewer does not have to think.

Not being forced to think may or may not be a bad thing. On one hand, the images might be considered more disturbing because there does not seem to be a motive for them. On the other, if there is no motivation, do they have to be so frequent? Does the audience have to bare witness to vivid deaths of more than one child? Without reasoning behind them, it can be declared tasteless, and even a waste of characters.

Alchetron.com - The Mother of Tears

 

Asia Argento delivers a great performance as the European-raised American lead, but with the accent, some might thing that it is what a Winona Ryder performance would be like if delivered immediately after the shoplifting incident. Otherwise, all of the other characters have nothing behind them. The first male lead is set up to have the story be based around Sarah’s experiences with him and his tragedy, but he is dropped from the film to introduce three more characters that take on the mentoring role.

One of these mentors is portrayed by classic horror actor Udo Kier (Blade, Shadow of the Vampire, Andy Warhol’s Dracula). It was a horrible decision to cast him in this role because the final mentor is an elderly gentleman. In the end, the final male lead becomes a police detective who probably has less than ten lines in the film. No story should have so many disposable characters.

If one gets past the overly populated story, Mother of Tears may be the best filmed Gothic horror picture of the decade. No one can question Argento’s ability as a director, but the audience has to put up with a lot to witness it. Some might think it is to over the top and offensive, but if those who stick with it may leave happy. Not for the casual horror fan, or the Italian horror fan, Mother of Tears, may just be a picture that missed its mark.

Inferno - Witches and the Sweet Vengeance for Drowned Cats

 

The film that is about to be reviewed is 1 hour and 46 minutes long. It is being featured because it is the first sequel to one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Dario Argento's "Suspiria" (Luca Guadagnino's 2018's re-imagining of this film is worthwhile as well). As I established in my blog, "Kickboxer: Retaliation" How to Warrant 110 Minutes and I, the Retarded Garland", a sequel can deserve more time than its predecessor because we want the previous world to be expanded. This is a far better example of the concept than the "Kickboxer" franchise. With that said, I am still shivering in anticipation for the conclusion to the latest Kurt Sloane trilogy.

European directors tend to want to capture everything on film. Many times, they shoot to the point of boredom. Francois Truffaut's "The 400 Blows" is beautiful, but it takes forever to get going. Nothing of notes happens in that film's first half. It is like watching a Monet dry. We appreciate it, but we want to load it on the truck now.

Italian horror and its godfather Dario Argento (perhaps the most subtle of the genre's directors) have similar tendencies. Argento is in love with his vision (He is never afraid to tell critics and actors that.), but the stories he offers to express it can be hit or miss. Fortunately, he would rather show a gimp being eaten by rats than a child on a carnival ride playing hooky. If only Truffaut would have had the child ground in the centrifuge's gears.

"Inferno" is the story of the youngest and cruelest of the three mothers, Mater Tenebrarum (Mother of Darkness). Rose is a poet that lives in an old building in New York whom, after reading the book "The Three Mothers", suspects she is living in that witch's home. She puts it upon herself to explore the building's basement where she finds an underwater ballroom with a corpse floating around in it. This leaves her desperate for her brother Mark to return from Rome to help unravel the mystery.

Unbeknownst to Rose, Mark is dealing the mystery that is Mater Lachrymarum (Mother of Tears) the most beautiful and powerful of the mothers. After receiving the letter from his sister, he seems to be stalked by that witch, and his friend are becoming her latest victims.

Can these modern siblings solve the mystery behind these grisly occurrences, or are they going to be additional casualties to the ancient sisters' evil ways?

"Inferno" does not offer much when it comes to story. The tale establishes that all the characters are seen as disposable, so we will wait around to see who makes it out alive. Any other narrative shortcomings are conquered by Argento's directorial style, and his efforts in creating beautiful and nightmarish visuals are remarkable.

The submerged ballroom (His homage to his once one of a kind classic "Suspiria's" use of bright and limited primary colors) and effects inspired by Mario Bava, justify filming the entire feature in Rome. This effort is as valid as Jeff Bridges's performance being the only reason to see "Crazy Heart". Talent can conquer almost any limitations.

If there is a genuine reason to be disappointed, it is that it may not be shocking enough when it is compared to other Italian horror legends like Lucio Fulci. There are no victims who fight back, and little worthwhile gore. It is artistic, but not disgusting.

This is an Italian film. We deserve at least an image that reminds us of "Zombi 2". It must be why "Mother of Tears" was so over the top. Argento was apologizing for the lack of nightmare future in that film's predecessors.

If you are a fan of sheer directorial talent, Dario Argento's "Inferno" is a prime example of what can be done with only a premise. Argento is a demanding auteur who may have been a generation too old to serve as an ideal music video director. If only he could have got into that realm of film making if only to bury Russell Mulcahy in the sands that his feature find so necessary to feature.

2.bp.blogspot.com

90-Min. HBO Max - "The Losers"...Are the One's Expecting Vertigo Comics to be Treated Right

 Productivity in the Time of Lockdown: 20 Questions

The heat is now on. I think I have a notebook from 2010 with some movie reviews for the nights where I get too drunk or too high to watch something for content, but it is inevitable that I will run out of those at some point. Time has caught up to my content. This is probably a good thing, and then I recall having a half day on Wednesday for a dental appointment.

Everyday is a mid-80's Kenny Loggins song or an "Archer" joke. I thought I could apply "The Heat Is On" but that was Glenn Frey. When you consider that Loggins's last 80's soundtrack contribution was for "Caddyshack II", perhaps my joke description of my life works.

Really, the only content pressure is trying to make sure it takes up enough space on the blog layout. Unless I am coming back from the weekend, how much crazy shit can happen to me in the matter of a day (I start promoting blogs on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday)? This indicates that I should write next Monday's entry on Thursday. At least I have a dentist appointment the previous night. Oral stuff make for great content.

As for my weekend, my back is in shambles. It could be standing for 18 hours over the retailers Black Friday sales and moving large and awkward boxes. It could be old age (I have had this injury since I was 16, so more than have my life). It could be the evil of my subconscious wanting to get some familiar sympathy from my immediate family that is dealing with a COVID outbreak. No, I have not called my folks to plead for advice on how to deal with it.

This is probably nerve damage because it turns out that sitting directly on the heating pad seemed to provide me with some relief. I tried to lay down, but how would I have been able to distract myself with 2010's "The Losers", a film that must have thought the moderate success of the R-Rated, Jeffery Dean Morgan starring "Watchmen" could translate into PG-13 gold. Since Morgan is known best for characters whose murders all revolve around pregnancy, the result seems easy to predict.

The Losers (2010)

Colonel Clay is the head of an elite special ops unit that takes on a mission that is way too easy for their skill set. All they had to do was laser tag a drug lord's Bolivian home so that it can be bombed by the air force. It suddenly becomes complicated when they find 25 child drug mules being dropped off at the hacienda, only eight minutes before the air strike. An attempt to abort the mission is made, but instead of your standard higher up responding, a man named Max tells them he knew about the collateral damage in a gloating fashion.

The team goes on and rescues all the kids before the contact. Clay also kills the drug lord but before that, the villain warns him about Max and his intentions. This warning reigns true after the team loads the kids on to their extraction helicopter. A fighter jet shoots the chopper down, killing all on board. Since it was suppose to be our heroes, they determine it is best to throw their dog tags into the wreckage knowing that they will be hunted down otherwise.

Three months later, the team is losing hope that they can ever return to the States. Clay's lieutenant, Rogue, believes that his leader's intention to avenge the deaths and their expulsion is going to keep them where they are. This means he is very skeptical when Clay introduces the team to Aisha, a wanted woman who offers to bankroll a mission to bring Max down. He can be skeptical, but when you have lost everything, you have to take on any gamble. What do you have to lose?

When you start a film with an assault that is reminiscent of the first action sequence in "Predator" and then kill 25 kids, your feature needs to reach for that R-Rating. Instead, "The Losers" is an effort to be an edgy comic book feature through innuendo. Violence and morally flexible heroes are what brought me to the feature, so it is sad to find a bad special effects feature where the heroes will do no wrong.

The direction shows the limitations of this project. Brutal violence is only implied so that mom and pop can bring their kids to it. This does not work because when you see the action that is going to be taken only to pull away while the carnage is delivered, the cold and clever characters are left toothless. If we are watching "The Losers" when "The A-Team" is coming out two month later, we want a brutal version of that concept. When you cast the most morally reprehensible superhero to date as your lead, what else are we to expect?

The script also fails to work with the runtime. At first, I was enjoying the jump from action scene to action scene, but once the feature slows down to try and force a chemistry-lacking romance and leave us with a questionably motivated Idris Elba as Rogue, the pacing falls apart. This led me to think that the challenges for the Losers needed to be more complex, "Mission Impossible" like sequences as a reward for the phoned in exposition. Instead, you get CGI explosions and toned down "Die Hard" deaths.

Speaking of phoned in, some of the actors are guilty of that. I may have to rewatch "The Reaping" (I may, but I will not.) to see if this was the first disappointing Idris Elba performance. When you see how his character's story arc resolves, you can understand why. Zoe Saldana seems to just push through the need to be interested in the more rugged and older Morgan, but if the script will not be subtle with developing chemistry, force is all you have.

It is a pity that the script resulted in these lackluster performances because Chris Evans finds the perfect medium between Captain America and Ransom from "Knives Out" in terms of snarkiness while Columbus Short and Oscar Jaenada round off the comedic elements of the team well. Jason Patric and Holt McCallany also have a great villain relationship and are both going for broke knowing that the audience will want to see that.

"The Losers" has some fun performances but cannot overcome the production having no clue about how to sell this idea. It promises to cram in a lot of darker comic book elements into a 97-minute package, but believing the potential audience would be cut in half, backs down on everything it proposes. After "The Boys" and that year's "Kick Ass" bad boys are allowed to do bad things. But with this failure, "The Losers" is just a lost opportunity to give us a grounded "Deadpool" tale.

Cursing: The Cubs, Soccer Planet, and "Lost and Delirious"

The Losers - IMPAwards