90-min. Stallone - "Escape Plan 2: Hades" - Why Not Knock Off "Tron: Legacy"?

*Blog post started on August 13, 2020.

Medical appointments have passed, but with a one month follow up scheduled. Yes, I am still stressed about that. And yes, I am too honest to just cancel an appointment because it would not work with my schedule and wait till my next health scare.

Any other stress is probably undue bullshit. The Snapchat girl is sending mixed messages, going from work focus to "why can't a man satisfy me?" mode. Why do you not tell me to get over there and take care of you?

To make matters work, I at least got girls talking on three other platforms. This leaves me with three other conversations to worry about. Should I message them just to make sure they know I am still interested? Did I cross the line with some political commentary? Do they only chat from nine to five?

If you want to be totally up to speed with the life of this aspiring screenwriter/producer/pro-wrestling mind, check out "The AWESOME Disgruntled's Real Secondary Champion: Part 6".

And there are of course the blog posts that I need to all have prepared before my vacation. Because I got to justify my Netflix DVD subscription, my most recent disc had to get back to Carol Stream before the next billing period. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" is next up which is good because I got to slow down my output for NinetyForChill.com. But until we get to the way I should be handling my Terry Gilliam collection (To my credit, my copies of "Brazil" and "12 Monkeys" were both purchased at heavily discounted prices.), we must tread through another post 2015 action movie starring Sylvester Stallone.

"Escape Plan" was an amusing enough movie that may have taken itself a little too seriously. With two sequels being shot back-to-back, one would suspect any other franchise to be taking itself way too seriously. Fortunately, when you realize these flicks are solely for the Chinese mainland (Free Hong Kong!), it is easy enough to relax and enjoy "Escape Plan 2: Hades" for the braid dead trash that I hoped "Rambo: Last Blood" would have been.

Escape Plan 2: Hades (2018, 1 hour 36 minutes)

Breslin Security has expanded from prison breaks to encompass rescue missions. With Ray Breslin tired of doing the physical work required in testing the effectiveness of prison security, Shu serves as his top agent. Unfortunately, the last bout with terrorists only allowed for half the assets to make it back home. If fellow agent Kimbral had skipped trying to further promote Breslin by blowing up the terrorists' weapons cache and arrived at the rendezvous on time, the results would probably have been different.

Ray fires Kimbral and puts Shu on leave to work on his team leadership skills. Shu decides to head back to Shanghai to visit his family, and make sure nothing happens to his satellite genius cousin, Yusheng, at a Bangkok bachelor party. At least being at his cousin's side means he will not have be alone when they are kidnapped to soon awake in a black op prison site called H.A.D.E.S.

The Zookeeper has been hired by a Swiss competitor to Yusheng. Shu and his cousin are there to be tortured until they give up the patent information for Yusheng's new satellite communication technology. HADES is far more complex than the last prison Ray broke out of and with the Zookeeper having inmates fight for luxuries, how long can our protagonists last?

We know Ray is going to do anything he can to get Shu out, including recruiting the towering DeRosa to give them some extra firepower, but will not make a move until he is certain of success. It is all a matter of figuring out the location and layout of the prison. Time is one thing Shu has and with Kimbral being a fellow inmate, what he has learned from Ray gives him all he needs to win the day. But after all the damage that Breslin has done to the private prison industry, things seem far too easy.

"Escape Plan 2: Hades" starts out like any silly 80's action movie, but it makes a sudden turn to attempt and capture "The Matrix" cool aesthetic that exposes all of its weaknesses. It is kind of like "Tron" without the teleporting laser and smooth incorporation of effects. With punching and kicking being your primary means of action, our characters are not in the right movie. Especially Stallone who I do not believe knows how to kick.

I suppose the concept of a computer controlled prison allows for twists to constantly occur, but the narrative is far too predicable. The idea is to make the audience to try and figure out the puzzle as they go along. Its mistake is the constant twists to mock us just when the nerds develop a theory on how the protagonist can escape. This leads the audience to just quit caring, so only the stupidity of villain(s) can the film get them reinvested. That is a whole lot of stupid.

Director Steven C. Miller is accustomed to making stupid films. He directed a fun remake of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" ("Silent Night), but that film featured a script that does not necessarily make sense as it works to a big reveal. What made the film fun was a cast of screen chewers and shocking violence. The film chewer in "Escape Plan 2" is Stallone who is essentially there only for his brand value. He is not the lead, so he cannot chew the fat off of this film.

As for the violence, you get one great fight scene, otherwise the film is too quick to resolve its scenes. This leaves the flick with nothing for Miller to catch and over expose. If it left us with graphic scenes to linger on, it would play towards Miller's strengths. It also lacks a sense of humor or clever wit that can save an action movie. All of that is reserved for Dave Bautista's screen time. Since the third film in the franchise also features him, you have to admire the writer, Miles Chapman, doing the bare minimum to leave the audience wanting more.

"Escape Plan 2: Hades" might have figured out how to make a Chinese-funded trilogy work, leaving the audience just interested enough for a third film. In this case, I think this interest stems from wanting justification for putting up with a quickly produced sequel that lacks heart. It has some fun moments, but it also wants to prove itself smarter than its audience.

"HADES" might show up the audience with its twists to indicate intelligence, but it does not change the fact that it is built on a metaphoric swamp. How smart can you be if you are still sinking? Hopefully the wreckage of this castle will be enough to serve as a sturdy base for "Escape Plan: The Extractors".

Peoria Wise and a 90 min. Exception "Zombieland: Double Tap".

*Blog post started on June 25, 2020.

So far, 40 has shown how far behind I have been. I have attempted to be a voice against racism ("Racism Can Play in Peoria. What About Your Local Wrestling"), but it took me another five years to attend my first protest. Tomorrow is going to be the first time that I have ever given blood. Being afraid of needles gave me an excuse for 23 years, but after my wrist and inevitable reign over Peoria wrestling were broken, that is not the case. When you see pins with pus leaking from them in your arm, you will rationalize how you handle other pointy metal things being inserted into your body.

Another first for 40 that involves insertion would be a prostate exam. A parental freak out about a dermatitis breakout left OSF realizing that I may have been trying to avoid attentive medical care. I figured I could slip past the system for a year since my last labs, but they are going to get on me about actually finding a practitioner now. The biggest issue is going back to the beginning when it comes to my type two diabetes concerns.

Unless they are going to give me a medicinal marijuana card, nothing will change. Give me a card, and half of the conditions might.

The following is a suggestion to encourage men of my age to care about their health and cancer concerns. Reward those who need to deal with a prostate exam the medical weed card. I think the doctors would be surprised to find out what we will do for drugs. Granted, the exam no longer intimidates me, but that is some personal stuff you probably do not want me to get into.

With all the firsts I am dealing with, it is indeed ironic that my best received blog was "40 Years is Enough". In the end, I am just like Peoria, always 10 years behind. At least my love for the hometown is now established. It just sucks to realize that I am socially retarded. How many wise, leftist women have been pitying me?

Zombieland: Double Tap

It has been 10 years since the zombie outbreak, but aside from the undead evolving into tougher, smarter or dumber beings, not much has changed. And that has become a problem for the timid Columbus, the fearless Tallahassee, the independent Wichita, and the restless Little Rock. After Columbus tries to shake things up with the bold move of proposing to Wichita, she and Little Rock write a beyond brief note to let the boys know that they are going their own way.

After losing his reason to be fatherly, Tallahassee is considering this a sign to be the explorer that his Blackfoot ancestors were while Columbus is quick to go to bed with the recently discovered, vapid Pinkberry freezer dweller Madison. These new lifestyles must take a backseat when Wichita returns to reload on ammunition to track down her sister who has gone on a pilgrimage to Graceland with snooty hipster and pacifist Berkley.

Despite his recent fling, Columbus sees this as a chance to win back Wichita. Tallahassee cannot pass up an opportunity to visit Elvis's home and punch Berkley. If Madison proves to not be too much of an annoyance, the mission seems rather simple. With 73 rules to protect them, what can possiblye go wrong?

If you enjoyed the first "Zombieland" as much as I did for its characters, this is a worthwhile sequel. It hits the same notes as the first like any comedy sequel but does not burden itself with wilder challenges for the characters to make sure the audience stays invested. This film is a band's sophomore effort.

After "Venom" and "Gangster Squad", you realize that Ruben Fleisner is not much of a director and his efforts to produce epic shots can wear thin. But being a straight out comedy, you are not focusing on those efforts. This means it is all about the script which suffers a bit since our characters are already established. In other words, the film cannot bring anything new to the table. Hence, if you like the characters, it will work for you. I will say that I could have done without the attempt to be overly meta with the Luke Wilson and Thomas Middleditch characters.

And the attempt to be meta may have been the excuse to provide the film with a lighter feel. Eventually the film ends up with a pacifist hippie commune. If you are watching a movie that prides itself on gore and humorous demises, you got to up the body count when it comes to annoying characters. You have a guaranteed audience with this sequel. The writers should have upped the extremes that they would take to impress the loyal fan base. At least we get treated to an early, and perhaps the greatest, mid credit sequence to guarantee that the viewing was worthwhile.

"Zombieland: Double Tap" is an amusing sequel for the fans of the first, but does not elevate the humor from the first film. The characters are protected very well, so it a good sequel, but feels more like a reunion feature than an effort to build upon the predecessor's greatness. You will get some enjoyment out of this flick, but you will not be asking for a "Triple Tap" despite the alliteration.

www.cinematerial.com - Zombieland: Double Tap

90 Min DVD: "Smash Cut": Minor League Soska Sisters

*Blog entry written on February 18, 2020

My life kind of feels like it is a holding pattern. I know I am a big advocate for patience and I seem to have a lot of it, but waiting drives me crazy as much as the next person. Not expressing my frustration with that (publicly) maybe my greatest strength.

It is not so much that I cannot do anything with myself. It is that any decision I make will not have any affect of me in the immediate future. C2E2 is next weekend. How am I going to afford to go to the show and afford a room? This spoiled soon to be 40-something has to wait and see.

Dad wants me to get the non-sports elements of the England trip planned out. How do I do that when I am not around him to review stuff with him? I am sure he would dig a play about the making of "Jaws", but I need to be for sure.

This could just all be related to the winter. When things warm up, things will get better. Of course, aside from sporting events, when do I really appreciate the weather?

I suppose the next rewrite of "Main Event of the Dead", my pro-wrestling themed zom-com, needs to change most of the scenes to exteriors. That way, I could use the natural light to shoot it instead of dealing with the expense of lighting a bingo hall. If you have any other ideas on how to get this project out of development hell, I will be happy to email you a treatment (drop me a line at russthebus07@gmail.com) in exchange.

Studying Lee Demarbre's "Smash Cut" at least made the past week worth noting. I had more fun watching "Knives Out", but aside from storytelling, I am years away from being worthy to study under Rian "Second Best Star Wars Movie" Johnson's learning tree. Canadians paying homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis and trying to get the most out of a nonexperimental performances from adult film stars seems like the right place for my filmmaking aspirations to be.

Able Whitman is a struggling B-movie director whose most recent film, "Terror Toy", debuted to a near total walk out from the audience. This disaster will not run him out of the business because every investor needs tax write offs, but he will never be the artist that he strives to be without proper inspiration.

Outside of the industry, the only person who sees potential in him is a stripper named Gigi. She wants to see him succeed so badly, that she sets out to be his muse and will not even take his money from her performances. Of course everything in Whitman's life turns bad, and she dies in a car accident as he drove her home from work. Whitman initially tries to cover up the incident, but after seeing the wretched gore effects his crew has come up with for "Terror Toy 2", he opens his trunk to find his inspiration, and Gigi makes no complaints about being featured in the picture.

After the latest test reel, his producers believe that he is finally on to something, and if he can keep it up, Whitman will have a blank check. If it is realistic effects that will make him the director he has always dreamt he could be, realism is what he will provide. But with Gigi rotting, where else can he get the viscera for the celluloid? Well, being mocked by critics, local aspiring documentarians, and producers who demand rewrites so that their friends' kids have roles, Able Whitman has a wide menu of options.

My expectations were not very high for "Smash Cut". Sasha Grey was nothing but a name to put on the cover of "The Girl from the Naked Eye" to garner interest while only one scene. Herschell Gordon Lewis did a lot for Grindhouse cinema, but what I have seen from "Blood Feast" and "Wizard of Gore" did not seem worthwhile. But with a disclaimer placed at the beginning to put you in the grindhouse mood followed up by the hilarity of the "Terror Toy" screening, you know that the director implies that he does not want you to take the film seriously at all. This picture is all about Lee Demarbre knowing what people want to see from a bad horror movie. He just needs an audience to cheer on his efforts to deliver it.

I think most fans of no-budget cinema enjoy just witnessing the effort the directors and actors take to tell a story that, financially, they have no business in telling. As long as you can at least laugh at the shortcomings, the director has succeeded in his goal. "Smash Cut" takes the experiences of being a filmmaker in this genre too personally at times, but until the film got to the point where a conclusion was required, the dialogue and shortcuts are amusing enough to keep the viewer involved.

The actors do not take themselves too seriously and most seem to have fun playing a long with the ridiculous story. If Sasha Grey would have gone out and hammed it up, the ensemble would have been stronger, but it was early in traditional acting career, so showing restraint may have been the better career move. Her reading from "Hamlet" was solid and her screams were on point when it came to dealing with the gore effects.

As for the gore, aside from decay effects, it is the best no budget can offer. They work out great after the low bar they demonstrate at the beginning of the film. The best element is that the director shows no respect to the impact they should have on us. Since "Friday the 13th" was all about shock and showing that it could be done instead of should it be done, Demarbre has topped himself effects wise when compared to his classic "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" from eight years prior.

Unfortunately, Ian Driscoll may have regressed over that time as a screenwriter. When telling a story about the film industry, you do not have to keep driving the point home that the audience should be siding with the mentally unstable artist's message. If we enjoy that kind of plot, you do not need to remind us why we are here. Whitman is no Jesus, so he needs stronger supporting characters to help him out, and they are almost nonexistent.

I came to a point where I wondered why Demarbre was not at the level of the Soska Sisters. "Dead Hooker in a Trunk" lacked a budget, but the characters were strong enough that the minimal gore in comparison was almost unnecessary. It gave you multiple perspective into how crazy the journey was that you forgot that the film had no budget. Demarbre and Driscoll give you fun flicks, but they are not going to make you forget that they pride themselves on missing elements.

"Smash Cut" is an amusing B-movie that takes pride in being a no budget affair. The conclusion is very clunky and it can take itself too seriously, but it lets the audience know that anyone can make a fun movie as long as you have a fun story. For someone who wants to start in film with little resources, I definitely appreciated this film, and with that approach, any smart film goer should too.

IMDb - Smash Cut (2009)