90-Minute Netflix: 2047: Sights of Death (AKA Death Squad)

Posters with Armed Older Action Stars Best Be Expendables Knock Offs

I finished "Iron Fist" and, though I thought it was a fine martial arts series, I can only deal with so much Finn Jones (why is season five of "Game of Thrones" considered a weaker one?). Thus, with an hour and a half before the news cycle, "Defenders" was not an option. Tennis had screwed up ESPN, so I was left at a loss for live TV.

It has been a tough few weeks existentially. I have been trying to move on from the I Hotel, but what will that gain me. Less headaches for one (as I just received the call that it was a good thing that I had not purchased Riot Fest tickets). Imagine an organization whose pay roll company can screw up a payday over a holiday weekend. After they failed to take my implication that I wanted to use up my vacation time on this slow week, make believing their incompetence takes less effort that what the cast of "2047: Sights of Death" put into their performances.

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That last comparison does not apply to Rutger Hauer and Michael Madsen's performances. They seem to revel in the stupidity. Hauer seemed like he had more fun in "Death Squad" than he had when he worked with Dario Argento. Madsen seemed to enjoy his time on set with the promise of vengeance for Bill's brother bud. Otherwise, "2047" is a semi-talented cast believing there would be special effects added in post.

By 2047, the Illuminati has used their influence to destroy any country that refused to join their confederation. Being free of restrictions and regulations, the new confederacy has let most of the world become a radioactive waste land. The only resistance that seems to be making a difference is "Green War" led by Sponge (Danny Glover) with his butt firmly glued to his chair surrounded by CRT monitors and ham radios. His top soldier is Captain Ryan (Stephen "Pardon the Spelling Error" Baldwin) who was recently shot down during a mission to destroy a downed satellite that contains records of their communications.

Determined to complete his mission, Ryan trudges through a contaminated quadrant to locate the satellite. On this death march, he finds companionship from the red-painted mute warrior girl, Tuag (no photo on IMDB), a radio, and a mountain of dead bodies which could bring down the Confederation. The findings inspires him to broadcast his position in hopes that someone on their side will extract him to safety and document his discoveries. The only response that means anything since Sponge is too old for this shit is from Colonel Asimov (Hauer) who is personally going to oversee a death squad with the assistance of mercenary and harsh fellatio critic Lobo (Madsen). Will Ryan survive Beyonce's descendants and radioactive hallucinations to save humanity? Since everyone seems to have bulletproof skulls, the density of Balwin's skull may just make him invincible.

"2047: Sights of Death" makes me long for Albert Pyun's films like "Cyborg" and "Adrenalin: Fear the Rush" to be recirculated on the streaming video rental stores. He set the standard for how to shoot a bad action flick with only one set. Pyun must have a carefree personality because his casts seemed to have fun filming. A payday for community theater, why would you not be happy with that arrangement? I suppose a language barrier might make one reconsider.

"2047" was directed by Allessandro Capone, an experienced Italian-director with a resume that does not seem as varied as Lucio Fulci, hence, he does not have the sense to take a budget on four former A-listers and the worst Baldwin and just go camp with it. As the film goes on and slows down time with nonsensical revelations, Capone relies on quick cuts to try and provide an illusion that action is occurring. This leaves us watching a poor 360-degree video, but there is a story, so we are compelled to stick around for a conclusion.

No 360-degree video has a conclusion is the lesson to take away from "2047: Sights of Death." Anyone stuck in this video cannot be taken seriously. Hopefully, Darryl Hannah learned this lesson. As for Baldwin, this may be the perfect purgatory for a Trump supporter.