90-Min Rutger Hauer: "Surviving the Game" Before Newline Tried

*Blog posted started on April 17, 2020.

Four hours and 10 minutes left in the shift and I foolishly thought writing a movie review would get me through the rest of the day. Stimulus fever seemingly lasted for 48 hours. If you got they got their check, they cashed it out before the government knew it was gone. That had been the only story in the news, so I am back to needing to blog on and on and on.

For a second there, I thought I was in trouble. Fortunately, my Domo-kun messenger bag did make the trip from the car to the breakroom. It would be really awkward to ask the manager if I could run out to the car for my comic books.

This might be my biggest complaint about the COVID-19 lockdown that I cannot go troll hunting to cope. For printed media, it is probably a plus for print and bookstores. Comixology has not been sending the bi-weekly worthwhile email about what graphic novels and comic book releases. No brick and mortar, no new releases. I definitely prefer the paper and the collectability despite my not owning sleeves and cardboard backs (What else do you expect me to use my Pro Wrestling Crate boxes for?). Still, with movies soon to be a digital only medium, I am willing for comics to be the same.

As long as there are Funko Pop! collectables when we get out, we can stay locked up till 2021. The strike-shortened NHL 2013 season was a lot of fun in my opinion.

With all that said, I do have to thank the heroes at Netflix DVD.com warehouses. It is great to have the assurance that I will not pay an extra $2 to see a Rutger Hauer movie that has yet to be converted to HD.

Of course, people are surprised when they find out that I still have a DVD-rental subscription service. I may have just overblown the noble nature of this essential job. Are they having any issues social distancing in those distribution centers if 1 in 22,500 (population of Champaign divided by two) are requesting discs via mail?

I should not mock them when there are plenty of assholes who troll people just to say "Fuck you! Your wrong!" on Twitter and Facebook. They are just trying to survive, like Ice T in Ernest Dickerson's follow up to "Juice" (Please pardon that tacky transition.).

Surviving the Game - Why Can't F. Murray Abraham be Properly Billed?

Jack Mason has been down on his luck since his family died. He is homeless and both of his best friends have just joined his family. Wanting to take control of some aspect of his life, walking into an oncoming Peterbilt seemed to be a wise decision. Serendipitously, a volunteer at a food bank pushes him out of the way in time. This man wants to give Mason a reason to keep on living, so he directs him to Thomas Burn of Hell's Canyon Outfitters. Mason being able to survive the concrete jungle, surely he can be shaped into a hunting guide in the Pacific Northwest. At least, that is what Burns is selling him.

After an evening of libations with the psychiatrist, oil baron, and stock broker and son that he is to lead on a hunt, Burns and the good Samaritan awaken Mason with a .45 caliber pistol pressed against his temple. Mason will be leading these men out on a hunting trip, he just did not realize that he is the hunted. The hunters do give him a head start to get to civilization as they partake in a hardy lunch, but Mason quickly determines the best thing to do is to turn this anger management retreat back on his pursuers. Who is meant to survive this most dangerous of games?

As a child of the eighties, for some reason I think I was made aware of Richard Connell's short story "The Most Dangerous Game" during one of my lit or language arts classes in high school. Perhaps my overread sister told me about it. Maybe I was familiar with the concept because of Arnold Schwarzenegger films ("Predator", "The Running Man"). Regardless of how I was introduced to hunting man for sport, Ice T as a movie star was not going to sell me on checking out "Surviving the Game" when there were Jean-Claude Van Damme and action films with Keith David to watch.

Fortunately, HBO is free for a year with most cable TV packages, and it needed content. It is always easier to run ninety minute features when you are a programmer, so their Newline subsidiary came through with this stacked cast (It is short of a shame that F. Murray Abraham is never the true antagonist.). I am just curious how the studio were able to get this cast in the early 90's, a time when they were not known for trying.

And that is what you get from this feature, a lack of effort from those handling the money. Was it a subliminal message? You will cheer for Ice T killing off the one percentile because they are not trying to help amuse you thoroughly.

The generic and overdone soundtrack style and John C. McGinley's presence gave me a flashback to "Highlander 2: The Quickening". There are very few opportunities for the accomplished cinematographer to shine as a director. If you are a fan of "The Walking Dead" (There are just too many episodes in my opinion.) you can see what Dickerson had taken away from this film which is good, because otherwise you feel this is just a quickly produced knock off of John Woo's "Hard Target".

It is a tough task to approach a concept (JVCD versus Hunters led by Lance Henriksen) that Woo had tackled, but the action in "Surviving the Game" holds up pretty well. If "Judo" Gene LeBell is on your stunt team, the hand-to-hand will look intense. Even with that style of combat, you cannot compete with a Woo's film set pieces, so the script wisely takes time to focus on each antagonist.

All of the performers deliver when it comes to their roles with the exception of Ice T. In Ice T's defense, we want him to be Ice T. As long as he does that, you cannot be dissatisfied. Because the supporting cast delivers, you do invest in their plights as well. It is enough to make for a fun way to kill 90 minutes, and you do not have to worry about loud explosions to bother the neighbors.

"Surviving the Game" is a fun action flick that which makes me miss the time where live TV was all there was. This is a fun way to kill 90-minutes or at least serves as great ambience noise wise. Seeking out a quick take on John Woo is not something that most will partake in, but if it pops up on Tubi or Pluto, it might be that throwback you need in the time of pandemics.

WarnerBros - Blade Runner

90-min Family Video - "The Arena: or Timur Bekmambetov Presents 'Up All Night'"

Steven Spielberg got his start in TV with "Duel", and he is arguably the greatest director of his generation. Unlike the contenders for that title, he is concerned in releasing blockbusters more often than not.

This generation's (Those who came up during the resurgence of indie cinema.) blockbuster directors have a similar pedigree where they honed their skills, but with less prestige. Heroes of today cinema like James Cameron, Ron Howard, and Joe Dante came out of Roger Corman's "indie" cinema. Corman's latest protégé of note is Timur Bekmanbetov ("Night Watch", "Day Watch", "Wanted"). His B-movie was "The Arena". It is a film that shows glimpses of the director's talent, but those maybe blurred for late night cable due to all the excessive Roman decadence.

Timarchus (Viktor Verzhbitskiy from the "Watch" series) has been left to mind a Roman outpost in Western Europe's wasteland. Desperate to make this land his own little Rome, he has had a wooden coliseum built to host his bloodlust. When the locals prove to be wretched warriors and the gladiators who he brings in are subpar, he must come up with a new means to have the peasants love Roman culture. He decides to try and capture the intensity of the rebellious slave women by making gladiators out of them.

Can he make warriors of those he constantly victimized? Is it wise to do so? Can an empire fall by the hands of the women it scorned?

Pinterest - WagonRolz

"The Arena" can only be suggested if you are looking to rot your brain on a lame weekend. We have all been there, so if you take the film as that, it is worth a few inebriated minutes.

The script is pretty lame along with the fight scenes, but there is enough female nudity to amuse the male audience through to the second act. From there, it is just laughable, but there are some moments where you see the director's talent that has placed in high regards by the likes of Tim Burton.

The director has vision, and for that to work, he needs a lot of space to work in. This film is squeezed into sets that are far too small for the extras to be involved. If his characters (all of them) do to get an open world to play in, then the feature could have been saved by his skillset.

"The Arena" is junk food, better yet, the bottom of the chip bag. For whatever reason, it is worthwhile until you realize what you are watching. This is a flick you can only come across by accident even if you want to be a Bekmanbetov completist.

If you like "1941", you may like "The Arena."

Oh for When HBO Warranted Popcorn

*Blog post started on April 27, 2020.

I think my sanity maybe finally be coming into question during this lock down. Trying to get back into the dating games has resulted in me downloading Snapchat. The filters are fun, but putting a run on sentence over a picture you want me to appreciate is pretty tricky. It may just be my critical eye needing more than 10 seconds.

On the dating front, I may just have to wait till someone finds me. Signing up for premium services seems too pricey in an age where no subscription service (with the exception of HBO, and you keep track of when that month is over) should cost more than $9.99. The ex-girlfriend said she was a premium subscriber on Plenty of Fish. Here is to hoping that she cancelled that after our relationship got started, but then again, with all the debit cards she has lost, it probably got cut off that way. I guess I better hope she gets back together with the ex-fiancé who she is moving back in with to avoid that scenario.

Living with my ex-girlfriend is wearing on me. She is making it feel like I am the only person who has ever taken responsibility for her well being. With her mental issues, I am hoping that is just her perception and not the reality. Since no one takes care of her, being inconsiderate must be something she is okay with. If she tries to be considerate because she knows I was just trying to withdraw from as situation, all she knows is to withdraw herself.

After sitting down to our must watch TV, she resumed the crafts she was making all day in the living room but moved it to her designated space. It feels like she only wanted the routine of watching Sunday night TV, to hell with my company. It makes me feel like a dick for not shouting at you to quit playing a YouTube video on your phone when I have made my lunch and want to settle down for some TV. We watched "Westworld" without any questions during it, I got comfortable. To walk out after the EMP went off seems a bit cold.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling

We Are 138: "The Damn United" - A Real Life Jay & Silent Bob on the Pitch

Brotherly (true) love is something that American cinema seems embarrassed to discuss. "Superbad" is probably the best example of the concept, and of course it is buried by sophomoric humor. The true love concept is not even hinted at until the brief third act.

With the rise of the fascist tea party movement (This review's draft was written in 2010.), the ignorant masses' homophobia may make the coy approach a wise one. Imagine the freak out if this concept was juxtaposed with our football. How much did Gale "really" love Brian?

Fortunately, the Yankee assumption that Brits are poofs gives them the freedom to slide tackle this innocent concept. Shaun and Ed from "Shaun of the Dead", Billy Mack and Joe from "Love Actually", etc. The only problem with these lovers (not in a gay way) is that the comedy or subplots makes their morale secondary. This makes "The Damn United" a breath of fresh air. Not so much funny in terms of jokes, but a brilliant investigation of a theatrical British sport hero and the man who made him whole.

Ulven Reviews

When England failed to qualify for the 1974 World Cup, the Football Association determined that the best candidate for the team's manager was Don Revie. Revie had turned around Leeds United from a second division team to the champions of all domestic titles. His acceptance of the international team position left Leeds without a manager, and instead of selecting from their squad, the ownership board elected to fill the vacancy with the brash and charismatic Brian Clough, the best young manager in Division One (now the English Premier League).

Clough was also Revie's biggest rival. Disgusted with Leeds's style of play, he and his assistant the brilliant scout Paul Taylor were able to pull Derby County out of the second division to the Division One Championship. Unfortunately, Clough's obsession in destroying Revie's culture lead Derby to dismiss him and his staff.

He decides to take on the Leeds job, alienating Taylor. It is Clough who must take on the world, but could he do it alone, or was his bond with Taylor the source of his greatness? If that was the case, was he willing to acknowledge it?

Michael Sheen as Clough and Timothy Spall as Taylor give performances that should lobby for an ensemble Oscar to be developed. "The Damn United" has a marvelous cast and a script that makes viewers wish it was more palatable to American taste.

Sheen is finally allowed to shine as an incredibly likable character (My experience at the time with him were eccentric supporting characters with some anti-hero elements.) that serves as the focus of the film. This allows you to truly appreciate his acting prowess. His near perfect performance allows the perfect facilitation of the internal dilemmas and emotional growth that Clough goes through.

Perhaps my praise for Sheen maybe a bit much. Peter Morgan knows how to pen a script that should result in the lead obtaining an Academy Award, except when it comes to Sheen. Sport movies rarely score rewards for lead actors, but this could have been his Oscar winning/nominated combination. We did not hold "Twilight" against Anna Kendrick.

Morgan's script is more than just a great set of characters. His method of storytelling virtually directs itself. He successfully transitions between the past and present, which shows his understanding about how the past affects the current. This probably explains why all his projects seem to be fact based, but this is the first of his feature I have seen, so my assumption maybe off.

"The Damn United" is an excellent character study about how we need someone to depend on no matter how great you are. Michael Sheen is outstanding and Peter Morgan's screenplay is a fine example of how to tell a story. If it was any American sport, this would be a universal classic. It was just the wrong pitch for Sheen's acting to take.

Pro-Wrestling and The Conservative Chicken Conspiracy

*Blog post started on April 21, 2020.

I have gotten to have fun with trolling conservative trolls on Twitter with the breakout of lockdown protests, but news just is not happening. Well, pro-wrestling wise is a different case, but to dive into that may expose some hypocrisies when it comes to my morals. I suppose that just makes me a middle-ground Democrat, but I dream of seeing a Chairman AOC.

All my sports fandom is screwed. WWE fired 40% of their workforce, a couple of dozen being on screen talent, after I suggested six onscreen performers (none of which were cut). The gut reaction would be to cut off my WWE Network subscription, but how can I resist the *"Dynamite Cop" ("Die Hard Arcade")* Money in the Bank matches?

Buzzfeed.com

*John McClane did not have to get to the roof to beat Hans Gruber, so "Die Hard" the movie comparisons are inaccurate. It would actually be better to compare these matches to "Critters 3".*

The only thing that hinders the next pay-per-view is that there are two of these corporate ladder matches. Making both matches unique will be hard to do. It probably would have been better to make one of them a traditional MITB instead. Of course, WWE and I are on totally different pages when it comes to wrestling-related decisions. As for ambivalence towards capital sources...

It seems that favorite football club, Newcastle United, is about to be sold to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Seeing owner Mike Ashley leave should be a glorious occasion, but taking the piss out of the fanbase is what he lives for. Can I truly be upset? The Chicago Cubs are owned by TD Ameritrade who has quite a bit of hateful values, if hating how they are destroying Wrigleyville was not enough.

I left Peoria after I realized that my only longtime friend that I spent time with was a racist, self-absorbed, borderline sociopath (Who has a kid since then if you needed further proof the world is only chaos. I suppose that just makes him a true Mortonite.). Deciding to head to a liberal hub without aspiration to further my hospitality education may have been decided on by that point, but wanting to get away from negative people may have been that guy's actions alone. And then Donald Trump was elected that fall, so you just cannot run away from the rhetoric.

And sometimes you do not want to run away. Growing up, Domino's was the easiest pizza to get delivered and my parents did not care about their politics. My grandfather, on the other hand, hated the Catholic-tude. If we ordered it while my parents took my dad's parents to a dinner with older relatives, we were to dispose of the evidence before they got home. It was a good thing I was a teenager because we were allowed no leftovers.

I wonder if I should have told a story about my grandfather's racism. It could have been easily framed as him being a Michigan State University graduate, so fuck anything that came out of Ann Arbor. Until I realized how important it was to support you local minor league teams, going to see the Peoria Chiefs as a St. Louis Cardinals affiliate was a no no.

It is not like I do not try to be woke with the rest of my life. I have only once paid for Chick-fil-a, which should serve as a great example of how much I loved my last girlfriend and fought for that relationship. If you want to hate me, let it be because I eat fried chicken-themed fast food period.

The Conservative Chicken Conspiracy:

Check out the rest of the blog at the "Rip 'Em System" tumblr along with the subtext of "No Holds Barred."

90-min. Redbox - "Bitten": Vampires and a Cute Side of the Mewes

"Bitten" is a flawed human/vampire sex romp that has been done better numerous times. (John Landis's "Innocent Blood" the Sean Patrick Flannery starring vehicle "Insatiable", etc.), but the nudity and a valiant effort from Jason "Jay" Mewes has to make this film better than "Twilight".

The infection that is "Twilight". I have heard good things about "The Runaways", but because of Stewart's involvement (before I saw her in Woody Allen's "Café Society" where she shined), I would rather see Mewes as Joan Jett, but I will digress.

Jack is a kind-spirited EMT (a stretch for Mewes) who has had no luck with women. His only friend is the veteran foul-mouth paramedic Roger. His outlook is a hopeless one, but then he finds the stunning Daneeka in a trash pile outside his apartment.

Being covered in blood, she appears to have been attacked. The only clue to what had happened are marks on her neck. Roger thinks she is an addict, but Jack is smitten with her and is determined to be with her no matter her flaws. At least that is how it starts off. Once he finds out what she is willing to go through to score, she maybe too much for him to handle.

"Bitten" is the most recent vampire flick that dealt with the feeding as an addiction. English films "Night Junkies" and "Vampire Diaries" were documentary style bombs that villainized the need to feed. Wales's "Cravings" is about making blood addiction a psychological issue, but the lack of a cohesive story stifles the breakout performance from Jaime Winstone. The American attempt, Starz's "Thirst", is fun but can only be appreciated as camp. Leave it to the Canadians to present a viewable version of the premise.

Why am I writing this review? I should drop things and write my take on blood junkies since no one seems interested in my no/low-budget, pro-wrestling zom-com "Main Event of the Dead". My writing is obviously adequate. If you would like a story treatment or have suggestions on how to get this project out of development hell, email russthebus07@gmail.com. Thanks.

IMDb - Bitten (2008)

"Bitten's" story has to be appreciated by giving us dynamic, multidimensional characters, so you do care about them. The biggest problem is with casting. Mewes has always been cast as Mewes (see "Feast"). His mentor in the film Richard Fitzpatrick is known for one dimensional roles (Police Chief from "The Boondock Saints" franchise). Erica Cox's character does not have enough to do in the film. They are just interesting enough, so you can appreciate the efforts of the cast, so the film is a bit of fun.

What really works for the film is the direction. The sets are lousy, but Harvey Glazer is fearless in what he shoots no matter how tasteless it can be. If there is any scene worth complaining about, it is the tedious nature of the threesome, but you can go and get some snacks during that (see my blogs "The Dark Knight Needed a Sex Scene, Where Was Harley Quinn" and "Sex Scenes and Who Is to Blame for Cyborg 2").

No one has mastered the bloodsucking addict genre, but "Bitten" shows that we are getting there. The acting is passable, the direction shows promise, but the story cannot come up wit a satisfactory resolution like every other film in this indie demographic. Not great, and "The Insatiable" and "Innocent Blood" are better comedies, but like all none pot-themed Mewes flick, it is a bit of fun.