*Blog post started on November 17, 2020.
It is a bad time for this nation to be in a holding pattern. A part of me wishes Donald Trump would do something dramatic, like when H.W. Bush found a reason to bomb Iraq before 1992 ended. In other words, I finally gave into buying a microphone to podcast with. If there is not any drama, what is there to podcast about?
Is that what I should put down in my Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meet Bagel, and OK Cupid profiles (Zoosk and Plenty of Fish have lost their usefulness.)? Single chonk male looking for podcast cohost.
I wish I had more to say. That is obvious since this blog post is discussing podcasting. It is tempting to let loose that wrestling idea. If I would have just overlooked trying to own my comedic screenplay about pro-wrestlers versus zombies, "Main Event of the Dead", maybe I would have that IMDb cred I crave. (If you have any suggestions on how to get this production out of development hell or would like a treatment of the screenplay, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com). The details of the film could have gave my readers something to cheer on or even claim ownership of, like a local band before they break big.
I guess my first podcast could be an oral history of "Main Event of the Dead" and the Fangoria-panned "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Do not take my noting of a negative review as a personal attack Mr. Knotts. My bringing up the name of the most famous/infamous horror movie magazine is being used as a transition to the following movie review, The Fangoria co-production, "VFW", a more horrific and authentic story of old soldiers kicking ass.
VFW (2019)
The opioid epidemic has further evolved. A new drug called Hype has hit the market, but with limited supplies, junkies know as hypers are quick to becoming homicidal to get their score from whomever they can. This has lead to such an influx in crime that the police have taken to sheltering in place leaving the public to fend for themselves. Fortunately, if you do not have much worth taking, the criminal element leaves you alone. Thus, Fred and his Vietnam War buddies can kickback and relax at VFW 2494.
Well, they could just chill out as the world burns, but a young woman with $500,000 of hype barges is as she runs from a couple of machete-wielding drug dealers. This assault results in Korean War vet Doug being critically injured and Fred quickly responding with a shotgun barrage that leaves one of the assailants minus a skull and the other retreating. It turns out that the girl, Lizard, has stolen the drugs to ruin Boz, the kingpin responsible for her sister's death.
If that is not enough motivation for the hypers to attack the VFW, Boz's brother is the thug who lost his head. This leaves our crew of 70 somethings and an Army Ranger who has just returned from the longest war in a position where they cannot negotiate their way out of it. Too bad for Boz that being under siege is where this crew feels most comfortable. Fred's crew is quick to make the bar into a trap the Vietcong would admire. When the opponents army is a bunched of crazed junkies, placing a bet on the Veterans of Foreign Wars seems like a sound one.
"VFW" scratches itches for lots of genre fans. The gore hounds will be happy with the effects. Grindhouse fans will love the aesthetic and style. Action aficionados will love the legendary line up and the brutality they express. It could have been a little more tongue-in-cheek for my taste, but how ridiculous can a feature safely be?
My favorites features in this grindhouse revival (outside of "Death Proof") are the Soska Sisters' "Dead Hooker in a Trunk" and Jason Eisener's "Hobo with a Shotgun". I am just a fan of the gimmicky nature. You can still be visceral, but the audience knows the humor is always present. "VFW" does not have the same, "This is a joke" nature so you are applauding the ridiculous over the top violence. Some may say that the audience is seeing humor from the craziness (Like when Edward Norton's Narrator demolishes Jared Leto's Angelface in "Fight Club"), but crazy is not always funny. If you watch this film without focusing on finding humor where it is not, "VFW" is a nice change of pace from the overtly outlandish genre.
The visual style fits perfectly with the grindhouse genre. It is grainy and dirty. There are times where a little light could have helped the flick out, but when you are paying six legendary performers (Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, Martin Kove, David Patrick Kelly, and George Wendt), interior lights can be considered a budgetary luxury. My only issue with the budget is they did not give John Ratzenberger a seat at the bar. Maybe Pixar said no.
To accompany the grime, you have a John Carpenteresque score. I may need to rewatch this after stating that because outside of the action, there is a lot of generic metal on the soundtrack. For the director, Joe Begos, this is the best compliment I think I can offer. It felt so much like "Prince of Darkness" or "Assault of Precint 13" that my brain going to a synthesizer default means you have captured greatness with this homage.
The most important thing about "VFW" is that it looks like everyone is having fun. There have definitely been better Sadler, Williamson, and Kelly performances, but this is not high art. It is a payday and probably a brief one at that. I find that it can be very charming for a film to feel like they just went out and shot it and were then done with it...
Hence why I am trying to make "Main Event of the Dead" my first feature. If you want to help me out, drop russthebus07@gmail.com an email.
There are a lot of features that try to gather a bunch of once beloved stars together to make some bank solely based on nostalgia. About 50% of the time, they decide to just give these actors a check but no screenplay. "VFW" is not one of those features.
"VFW" is aware that it is putting great and always competent actors in a place where there charms can carry the ridiculous. This allows everyone an in when it comes to watching this film. After they are in, be it gore, nostalgia, or action, everyone will find something great and should leave happy. You leave really wishing that blockbusters focused on being instant classics instead of being risk-less cash grabs.
Well, I cannot lay around my apartment waiting for one of the cats to grab a pillow and smother me (Brenda has become accustomed to my face), so I went out to see a movie last night. One of my coworkers recommended "Wanted" (sounded like it had all the campy stuff I want in a crappy action flick), but I'm all about cinema. Cinema. CINEMA.
As a result, "Wall-E" by Pixar was the best option.
This film had a pretty simple premise. The story of two robots falling in love by their united efforts to bring humanity back to the once desolated by pollution planet of Earth. Wisely (from at least a financial standpoint), Pixar decided to take the humorous path of rescuing human race. With the failure at the box office of Danny Boyle ("Trainspotting", "28 Days Later") martyr fest of "Sunshine", one has to be able to laugh at the brink of destruction.
Until the emotional climax, humor is always present. I do not know if Fred Willard was needed as the President/CEO of the WalMart like conglomerate that control society (he could have at least gave us his half-ass W impersonation), but it keeps you happily involved with the story.
When I stop to thing about it, the WalMart stuff in general could have been lessened. I thought there was enough humor is a society that is beyond super obesity. It is great that Pixar is making an effort to provide voice work to the past their prime fat actors, but this does lead me to question some of Pixar's believability.
How does a bed ridden society of fat asses consistently mate for 700 years? I've been desperate for a lay, but if I won't shag me, I don't want to make any women deal with the act of satisfying my human needs.
So, I guess that is the one thing I wasn't sold on in a brilliantly told story. In a nearly perfect comedic film, I still must knit pick some of the other elements in Pixar's decision making.
Did the hero have to look like a midget Johnny 5 for starters? Did Michael McKean build him?
Also Wall-E, a robot desperate to experience the emotion of love, falls for a feminine robot called Eve. This shows the lack of balls at Pixar to be truly groundbreaking.
What if the robot Wall-E fell in love with was masculine with a name like Evan? Pixar had the chance to bust down social walls with the first American gay cartoon couple (3-PO and R2 broke the robot barrier), and they passed it up.
Really aren't robots androgynous, would parents have difficulty explaining this to their kids?
Well, hopefully through my review, I have quelled any distractions one may experience in what perhaps may be the best film of the year. Add the best Pixar short film that I have seen, almost any one should jump at a chance to see Wall-E on a digital screen.
Landmark Cinemas won't cut it for this one.
*Blog post started on April 30, 2020.
Things keep getting weirder during the lockdown. Tuesday, it was 2:00 am and the monotony of trying to get enough virtual currency to purchase Beth Phoenix in "WWE 2K19" (to then be able to download the best Nyla Rose before the servers shut down in May) was wearing on me. Aside from watching "The Daily Social Distancing Show" and eating Taco Bell after work and errands, the ex-girlfriend decided to be her aloof self in the living room. All of the 4K gear is in that room and I have yet to watch my "Rise of Skywalker" disc yet. I lay back and let out a "Go to fucking bed *redacted*."
"Just talking to myself."
So the lesson should have just been, play video games like Simon Pegg did on "Spaced" and no one will pay attention to my cursing from the spare room. Then I got back from work last night.
She was frustrated because her ex-fiancé and then leading candidate for next roommate had wanted a custom face covering. Her mom had requested one the prior day and her father keeps breaking his. It is quite the work load and its keeping her away from her Etsy shop. On top of that, she gets a call mid process from this "gentleman":
"Is it okay if I put NRA on his mask."
"He'll look like an asshole, but I'm sure he'd say 'free country'."
"They're only trying to protect the right to bear arms."
"Do I need to pull up NRA TV?"
Wednesday is a good night for TV. "AEW Dynamite" from 7 pm to 9 pm. "South Park" from 9 to 9:30 pm. "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee" from 9:30 to 10 pm, and Trevor Noah's show at 10 pm. I got comfy so I did not really worry about the ex not sharing the experience. That was until her cat wanted attention.
"I think I may just move to *redacted*. I wanna keep Skim."
"You're not going to lose him."
It turns out, it maybe about the guy she was thinking about moving in with.
I got a movie review, that turns out to be prophetic when it comes to the scenario above, so I am going to skip some details. Things were also weird because I was experiencing my first NSFW picture exchange on Snap Chat. Somehow we got to bonding over all the madness going around and thinking about our stimulus checks, the fun of not moving came to mind. We are not going to get back together anytime soon, but maybe we could look after each other during the fall out.
This relates to the movie because it is about a character who seems co-dependent on the people of Las Vegas. He needs to get out, but that could be too easy. And what happens after he captures his dream? How will he stay sane? It is William Goldman's last screenplay, so there has got to be some intellect to it. But not since "Snatch", when has there been a Jason Statham movie that had that ("Revolver" and maybe "Safe", but "Expendables", "Crank", and "The Transporter" definitely lack that.)?
Wild Card
Nick Wild is a tough guy with a heart of gold who claims his only goal is to get out of Las Vegas. If this was really a priority for him, why is he quick to refuse extra cash for being such a great guy? But what would the good people Vegas do without him though? Who is going to serve as bodyguard to the idealist young tech billionaires? More importantly, how else will the recently raped and beaten sex worker settle her score with an arrogant mafia son? There is so much to do, is there even a way for Nick to find time to gamble away his cash in the hopes of divine intervention that will send him to live out the rest of his days in the Mediterranean?
"Wild Card" is based on Goldman's novel "Heat" which was adapted into a Burt Reynolds's movie in the mid-80's. From all accounts, including Goldman's, that film was a disaster. It sounded like it was more of Reynolds's vanity project from what I read, so I will not be revisiting that feature.
Reynolds's personality seems too big for the Nick character. Every Burt character is Burt. Jason Statham plays the same character every film, but he does not go out of his way to let you know that he is the same character. He is also a legit action star, so he is more believable when things in any film get crazy. At least for Goldman, the casting presents a good template for him to work with.
The rest of the supporting cast in this film is great and despite it being sold as an action flick from a promotional standpoint, you start to wish this could be a mafia version of "The Princess Bride". Sadly, the film does not click. Every performer is on their game and there is some brilliant dialogue, but the studio does not know if the film should focus on the gambling elements or the action. It ends up feeling clunky and being only adequately directed does not cover that up.
If you are looking for an action movie, I think "Wild Card" will disappoint. If you are looking for a William Goldman film, you will get to see the glimpses of a couple good ones, but they do not make a great whole. Fortunately, this film is for the Jason Statham fans, so if you are one, this is a pleasant change of pace.
"2001 Maniacs": Setting Back Southern Relations...in an Ideal Way
Since Roger Ebert is not on television anymore, so the only film expert (in 2010) I consistently follow is Chris Gore. He is Ebert-like in ways when it comes to inexplicable taste. How Ebert applauded the "Lara Croft" films, Gore is willing to show respect to the obscene.
Nothing wrong with the obscene, but it places you in the niche critic genre. As long as the Criterion Collection exists, your expert title may be inappropriate if you are recommending "Suicide Girls Must Die (which I did follow up on and was not disappointed.)." With that title, I wonder who is the real expert is, Gore or I.
But, when you are trying to find one hundred DVD rentals to critique (This review's draft was written in 2010.), you need some guidance. With a recommendation of the 2010 release "2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams", surely the prior film had to be worthwhile enough to warrant a sequel. Let us hope that sequel was not director Tim Sullivan's "Evil Dead 2" (A remake of the original meant to surpass it).
Tecumseh Sherman's devastation of the South have left generations of bitterness toward all Yankees. In Georgia, the town of Pleasant Valley seems to be the only folk who tolerate and even celebrate Northerners. So when eight spring breakers end up taking a detour into this town, they cannot resist the near royal treatment. They are to be the guests of honor at the Guts and Glory Festival. The townsfolk insist that stay till the barbecue finale, but one-by-one, the kids go missing, leaving them to wonder what their role truly is.
"2001 Maniacs" is a simple slasher with a decent sense of humor, but may have had too much budget for its own good. It would have had a little more charm as a z-budget feature, but with Robert Englund's Freddy Krueger obligations being done, I can see the wisdom in paying him the extra dough for name recognition.
There are some murders that require the extra finances, but this is not suppose to be a "great" film. I would have loved cheap effects and regular people (amateur actors) carrying this script. The script is something the viewer cannot claim to be high brow. Its pacing has some hiccups, but it is smart enough on how to make a generic story worthwhile, and makes sure every decadent thing needed for a gore-based comedy is present.
It is also encouraging that the film pulls no punches on the Southern stereotypes. The gore is great, but what may be truly offensive is how far they go in bad mouthing red necks. Fortunately, this film is clever enough to effectively use it as story elements.
These notes were originally written 11 years ago, so I had not seen "Tucker and Dale vs Evil". With that said, I did see the obnoxious "2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams", so maybe my conclusion is still valid.
Finding a smart horror movie about rednecks can be a task, but "2001 Maniacs" fits that bill. This low-budget feature maybe a bit too glossy for its own good, but its spirit remains intact. It is a gem for an insensitive, liberal gore hound.
2001 Maniacs Special #1 - comics.org
