James Gunn's "Slither" - A Cronenbergian Successor to "Gremlins"

 

 

Racism Can Play in Peoria. What About Your Local Wrestling?

 *Blog post started on November 24, 2020.

I think we will get into the post's movie review rather quickly (Spoiler: So I thought.). Yes, Trump is starting to accept reality, but it has only been a day since I knocked out my review for the tragic misuse of the North American treasure, Keanu Reeves, in "Siberia". If there is a video game titled with the same pronunciation of your movie title (As I verified that on Wikipedia, I found out that "Cyberia" was also the title of a UK-based industrial act called Cubanate. At least one positive came out of that $0.55 rental.), we are not expecting romance to trump the diamond smuggling drama.

It is actually appropriate that I finally opened my first Netflix DVD of the billing cycle, "Slither", because I just got word today of a COVID-19 outbreak at my parents' house. At least Mom (Negative while older sister and Dad are positive.) will appreciate that this feature is from the guy who brought Rocket and Groot to the big screen.

The more I think about, the more spooked I get. Dad has beaten cancer thrice, survived a heart attack before those scares, and successfully held off the diabetic diagnosis for nearly 70 years (about twice as long as I did). He even won a trivia night at The Fox Pub when a kidney stone decided to it needed to be passed during the game. If anyone can beat the disease it is him, but I worry that writing about it is just going to jinx him.

And when I take into account when his father died, the patriarchy fell apart. Grandpa went, the truth about his prejudices came out, and then the subsequent families started feuding. The last couple of years have left me pondering some of his (or Mom's expressed through him) biases, but I cannot help but wonder if the four children and wife will be warring. Regardless of my differences with my folks and younger siblings (I shared a room with my brother from his birth until the little sister went to ISU. My first roommate upon moving out was my little sister.), we have always gotten a long. If I look back at my mom and her family when my great grandparents passed, it just seems like everything can (will) go to hell with a loss in a family (A bitter sibling of Mom's came back to our life upon their mom's death.).

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If I would have gotten the news about yesterday, "Slither" would have been the ideal, ironic distraction. But, it is Tuesday. "AEW Dark" just cannot muster a card up to take the edge off and you know my unwatched movies are all a little too far on the dark side to relax to. Did I enjoy "Slither" enough to purchase it on iTunes (It was $4.99 and yes, it was purchased)?

Slither (2006)

Wheelsy, South Carolina is so busy getting ready for deer hunting season, no one notices a meteorite that crashes in the nearby woods. If there is any noticeable drama, it is the gossip about the relationship between the prettiest biology teacher at the high school, Starla, and her wealthy, older husband, Grant. Sheriff and codependent childhood friend of Starla, Bill suspects and accepts that it is a marriage of convenience, and trusts she made the best decision while he still longs for her.

Unfortunately, if there was any flame, it is waning. Feeling rejected, Grant decides to go out to a bar and flirts with Brenda, a fellow classmate of Starla. They drunkenly end up in the woods. He thinks better of pursuing an affair, and had the perfect way out of the situation. The two have stumbled upon the meteorite, and Grant chooses to investigate the slime that is trailing away from it. In an inebriated state, Grant ends up to close to the larva like organism and is stung. After regaining consciousness, he has only one thing on his mind. Meat.

Beyond Grant's carnivorous obsession, everything seems normal and perhaps better in terms of his marriage. That is until his cravings lead to him skipping out on the Deer Cheer Dance, a celebration to kickoff hunting season. It turns out he skipped out to kidnap and impregnate Brenda with his parasite. When Starla finds him at home after the dance, he is starting to mutate into something alien as well.

Bill is investigating the disappearance of Brenda while Starla is trying to figure out what Grant is hiding. After Grant catches Starla snooping around, he seems intent on killing her, but Bill and his fellow deputies arrive on the scene. Grant transforms into something that is halfway between squid and man and escapes. Three days pass, and there are a lot of dead live stock and pets littering Wheelsy. The impatient mayor and Bill gather a posse to hunt down Grant, but it turns out Grant was laying a trap for them.

When they locate an alive but beyond bloated Brenda, she explodes into thousands of slugs. These slugs enter their victims through the mouth and allow Grant to control them. The town is quickly infected, and wanting to reconcile with his wife, Starla is kidnapped. It is up to Bill and Kylie, a high schooler who seems to have success fighting these slugs off to save the day. Here is hoping a grenade compensated from some passing fishermen will be enough to end this nightmare.

"Slither" is a close to perfect horror comedy for adults. It features the body horror you typically see in David Cronenberg features while always being aware that you may just need to laugh in the face of the ridiculous, no matter how horrific it maybe. In a way, this feature is "Gremlins" without the constraint of a PG rating. The story has a lot of elements that are laid out wonderfully, leading to a roller coaster scream of joy.

With having so much rising action, the audience may get annoyed that there is not gore through out, but the audience is treated to great performances from Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, and Michael Rooker that give you the expectation that when it hits the fan, it must be spectacular. The only annoying thing about any of the acting is that with the exception of Rooker, the southern accents are not to authentic (What is one to expect from a mostly Canadian cast?). But it is a comedy and James Gunn knows that the audience is coming in feeling smarter than his characters, so this serves to let the audience know they are all in on the joke.

Regardless of the jokes, the gore effects and rejection of the boundaries of good taste allows the audience to still be shocked and horrified. The humor allows any audience to stick with it to the end, but the graphic violence makes sure that horror fans are quite appreciated. The finale is a bit overly drawn out, but if you are horror aficionado you will just admire everything Gunn is playing homage to, including his Troma roots.

If you are trying to introduce someone to horror who swears they have a sturdy their stomach is, "Slither" is the perfect flick. The humor will keep any audience involved while shocking non-genre and amusing the gore hounds. It is almost sad that this cannot cause the damage that "Gremlins" did to 80s' kids. I got over that trauma after 30 years.

Philadelphia’s Underappreciated Championship: Disgruntled Real World Champ - Part 2

 

Horror Galore - Pinterest

"Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse" - A Mostly Positive "Oi, Oi, Oi"

 *Blog post started on October 20, 2020.

My weekend was not too bad. They have hired enough newbies at the retailer that my work for the most part is that I just have to make sure nothing goes wrong at check out, and our customer service experts are now scheduled properly. Without too much pressure, I think I can work almost all the time. It keeps my mind off my existential crises and the pay makes it a net positive. Who needs a therapy when you could make $15 an hour?

Sunday was alright because I at least had the time to video games. Once the ex called to check on her cat and encourage me to abandon the written word for the video abyss, I decided to leave the gaming chair to get comfortable. Eva the Queen Kitty filled that spot immediately after I left to answer the phone, so that put an end to catching Pokemon. This was interpreted as a sign that I should watch a feature to feed the blogs. My little brother's abandoned copy of "Board Heads (a.k.a. "Beach Movie")" fit the NinetyForChill.com criteria (Longer than 75 minutes, Shorter than 97).

I do not know if I made it 15 minutes into this attempt to bridge Cinemax's late night features with early 80's dudes trying to get laid flicks that have aged poorly. The latter genre for the most part does not bother me too much. If you want to say that "Revenge of the Nerds" is far too rapey, I will remind you that the premise is REVENGE.

There has been some jonesing for Jim Jefferies's humor since he left Comedy Central and I had success with a previous Oceania horror comedy in "Bad Taste". It was time for an iTunes impulse buy in "Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse".

"Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse"

A "Walking Dead" like scenario has finally occurred in Australia. They may not be the undead, but they seem to be rotting away quickly and they definitely have a taste for human flesh. Everyone who is definitely alive is searching for safety. Daryl, Joel, and their telecom supervisor Roy know that the tower they work at has a security door, so sheltering there will do for now. Joel has brought the beers, Daryl brought Betsy the shotgun, and Roy is accompanied by his 19 year-old daughter Emma and a vape pen. You cannot let the apocalypse interfere with quitting nasty habits.

If they can somehow get the tower to connect to the military's phone network, waiting it out is all they will need to do. The problem with waiting is that it is just plain awkward. Joel and Daryl had to finish off Roy's wife to secure the beer, and Emma is pretty frisky so Daryl's mind maybe a little preoccupied to give Roy the bad news about the missus. What should alleviate the tension only increases it as the interns, Ryan and Emma's boyfriend Lachlan, bypass the security system to hide out at the tower as well.

To make the situation more dire, the interns state that this outbreak is a result of the military's actions, so there probably will not be a rescue. In its place would be a cover up. Will seven shotgun shells, two flares, two paintball guns, and a stash of fireworks be enough to hold off the hordes? When the beer runs out, will there be any reason to fight on?

"Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse" is a fun homage to George A. Romero's "Night of the Living Dead", but lacks the drama to be a very effective zombie film. When cracking wise is the feature's primary function, if you do not incorporate the threat enough, a gravitas to the entire apocalypse is lost. For the budget though, you cannot help but be impressed by the effort.

The actors are competent enough that you have a vested interest in their survival, but there does not seem to be a lead actor. This function should have been more focused on the largest star the film had to offer in Jefferies. With some rewrites (think "Deep Blue Sea's" most memorable kill), the story concludes the same, but everything would be held together better until the point where it should fall apart. A greater range in characters may have helped as well, but when you are shooting on next to nothing (I would have removed the parking dogs that the mics picked up during filming.), you cast what you can afford to cast.

Or auteur Declan Shrubb could have held back on the gore effects. They are very solid and I believe any zombie movie fan will appreciate them. Shrubb probably knows that every excellent zombie film needs at least one gut buster, so I think the trade of makeup for a diverse cast is a fair one. This film will not be excellent, but Shrubb knows he has to work towards that.

As a director, Shrubb is adequate in close quarters, but is lacking when it comes to wide shots. That is really only evident in the finale because Shrubb is wise enough to shoot from high vantage points otherwise. Give this guy a crane or a track because he seems to have promise.

"Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse" is not early Peter Jackson, but that is because director Declan Shrubb is working with a more narrow scope. His feature is fun with excellent gore effects, but lacks the violence and intensity to provide great slashstick. Its story does not challenge the audience, so if you are looking for "Shaun of the Dead" light, this is fine suggestion.

Most B-movies with a similar plot are shot just to be shot. "Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse" is an attempt at art which will at least amuse you and fulfill your gore fix.

 

Ryan Manlaw - Pinterest

 

90-Min. Rewatch - "Jigsaw" and Trading Control for Trauma (The @bandanadeb Agenda).

*Blog post started on July 23, 2020.

I think I might have my finances in order, so I am more stressed out than ever. This proves that I am not an optimist because I am obviously waiting for the other shoe drop. You cannot expect someone who got the "things cannot get any worse" speech only to witness a man set himself on fire and then fail to grab the nearest fire extinguisher (To my credit, an extinguisher was grabbed.) to think any differently.

I have also discovered that I am either more mature than I thought or have never been too desperate. The last time I was desperate because of my finances, that was because I had inadvertently committed check fraud. This was from my infamous summer of 2006 where my inevitable bankruptcy declaration was hurried because I did not want Carrie Clifton to be desperate for her heroin fix.

Being desperate opened up a friend to invite some trauma. It sucks that our society is not forgiving of sexual expression because for her safety, the exploitation should have been at a strip club or onlyfans.com. Damn how COVID-19 has fucked everything up, but we should be cheering on regulation when going into a questionable situation seems more acceptable than profiting from nudity. What started as a kissing flesh transaction for a low figure escalated into a need to clean off the effected areas.

Oh the times they are a changing. It use to be you stripped so you would not whore. Now, it is better to not be seen exploiting yourself than to own up to it. I suppose it is kind fitting when you look at our society right now.

A Tweet from @CatBusRuss:

If DHS operatives are going to jump out of windowless vans to kidnap protesters, they should at least offer candy before hand. Pedophiles have more class than Trump.

A response form Samuel C Winchester

He (I) should read the Patriot Act that Joe Biden voted for.

Instead of denouncing the harm our president is doing, Trump's supporter find a way to blame the victims. As long as it protects their wallets and churches, the evils of the actions are warranted. That may be thinking too highly of the right.

I know it is a crime to wish death or harm on a sitting president, but what about being put in a Jigsaw trap with Donald Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Jared Kushner? In the last few films, the primary traps allowed for everyone to survive. If he can be an ideal person, death or hindering harm should not befall him.

So that is my pitch for "Saw 10". I would like Twisted Pictures to know that I would take everything into consideration from the previous films to make it work. Perhaps the writers of the last of the series to be released at this point should have tried to direct that feature as well to ensure the continuity was considered.

movieposters2.com

Jigsaw (2017) - 1 hour 32 minutes

It has been 10 years since John Kramer, the mass murderer known in the press as Jigsaw, died, but a desperate criminal informant claims that there is a new game. There are five players and if he does not initiate the game, he will be killed. Not soon after he is critically wounded by a barrage of police gunfire to prevent the proposed game, joggers discover a corpse dangling above a path, head stuck in a bucket. Well, half a head as ME Logan Nelson and Detective Halloran would soon discover.

The corpse also featured the Kramer trademark of a piece of flesh being removed in the shape of a puzzle piece. Being a thorough examiner, Logan finds a flash drive left in the wound. It has a label on it which states that "Now there are four" and it contains an audio file. When the file is played, it says the games have started again and demands the police do their job and provide justice so these contests will no longer be necessary. This voice sounded like and is soon verified as Kramer's.

Things only get more eerie when under the first victims fingernails is Kramer's blood. Despite his death, THE Jigsaw is the prime suspect. Halloran cannot accept that and is certain that it is either Nelson whose Iraq War PTSD must have gotten the best of him or Nelson's assistant and Jigsaw fangirl Eleanor. Impulsive and brash is not how anyone should handle a Jigsaw scenario, so it seems the other four players are the only ones who can save their selves provided they will purge themselves of their sins.

Hopefully 4K Blu-ray sales will pick up so that resellers like Disc/Mega Replay will encourage customers to sell them. "Jigsaw" might be the first I would sell. This may have been a result of a thorough third/fourth viewing. It came with a digital copy, so what would I be losing.

I assure you that I did genuinely enjoy this film. After my disappointment in "Saw III", I know you cannot straight up buy these films, so I used a discount code at Red Box to judge this feature first. The eighth entry features a clever story which harkened back to my favorite installment "Saw II" and the traps are as ingenious as ever. That felt very refreshing being a devotee to the series and having missed domestic torture porn the past seven years.

If you are into this series for the formula, this is definitely worthwhile. There are not really any strong performances, but we never expected those in these films after Tobin Bell's John Kramer had been working from beyond the grave (sorry Costas Mandylor and Sean Patrick Flannery). The gore is toned down, but the climax makes it up to all those sickos who focused on that instead of the stories. Disappointment only kicked in after multiple rewatches because someone decided to ditch the past stories.

I will not get into the time frame of the original seven films which concluded in 2010. If everything wrapped up in the "Saw" world in 2007, so be it. The film's twist ends up being too clever resulting in continuity errors and ignorance of the Jigsaw associates that were established after the second film. This is a major flaw because the story flows to quickly, and to leave out the concept of Jigsaw followers results in impossibilities playing out. There is too much for our primary character to do and make this tale seem believable.

Besides for asking of an extra effort to disband disbelief, you catch during rewatches that the games do not play out the same way. I know the latter half of the heptalogy focused on the importance of predicting the actions of the players, but the predictions Jigsaw made are far too on the nose. He could only do that if he is interacting with the players which is a no-no. You end up realizing why they are not repeating this format for the franchise's next feature, "Spiral".

"Jigsaw" is definitely worth a rent for any horror fan. It is a mandatory view for any fan of the "Saw" series, but like the weaker entries in the series, the viewer cannot be overly scrutinizing. This results in it being a hard fit in terms of series continuity, thus a wrong piece for your "Saw" home media collection.

If you choose to purchase it, be sure to redeem that digital code A.S.A.P. Universal and Sony are cracking down on expiration dates.

90-min at $9.99 - "Rambo: Last Blood", Stallone Is a Sad Liam Neeson

 

90-Minute Redbox: "VFW" a Rutger Hauer Away from Grindhouse Perfection

 *Blog post started on November 17, 2020.

It is a bad time for this nation to be in a holding pattern. A part of me wishes Donald Trump would do something dramatic, like when H.W. Bush found a reason to bomb Iraq before 1992 ended. In other words, I finally gave into buying a microphone to podcast with. If there is not any drama, what is there to podcast about?

There are too many wrestling podcasts out there. An idea for one just came into my head as I pondered, "Are there too many movie podcasts out there?" Gods know that I do not want to give that away. Either direction, a host for each episode is kind of essential. Unless I wanted to try and become the liberal version of Alex Jones that is.

Is that what I should put down in my Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meet Bagel, and OK Cupid profiles (Zoosk and Plenty of Fish have lost their usefulness.)? Single chonk male looking for podcast cohost.

I wish I had more to say. That is obvious since this blog post is discussing podcasting. It is tempting to let loose that wrestling idea. If I would have just overlooked trying to own my comedic screenplay about pro-wrestlers versus zombies, "Main Event of the Dead", maybe I would have that IMDb cred I crave. (If you have any suggestions on how to get this production out of development hell or would like a treatment of the screenplay, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com). The details of the film could have gave my readers something to cheer on or even claim ownership of, like a local band before they break big.

Or maybe I just need a lawyer to go after "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Too bad my pair back in Peoria are for bankruptcy and criminal defense. But I will say, you should research the Library of Congress for what screenplays have copyright protection before moving ahead with your project. Scripts revolving around your own personal wrestling experiences are unique. B-movie versus flicks, not so much. All I am saying is, "Tokyo Zombie" and "Land of the Dead's" zombie combat scenes made me happy that the government approved my script instead of calling me a thief.

What it comes down to is did the "Pro Wrestlers versus Zombies" start up before I got the copyright for my script and before I launched this blog. To his credit, director did Cody Knotts did get his Kickstarter going before the MainEventOfTheDead.com. Or at least I think he did. The oldest date listed on the page is 11 days behind my domain registration.

I guess my first podcast could be an oral history of "Main Event of the Dead" and the Fangoria-panned "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Do not take my noting of a negative review as a personal attack Mr. Knotts. My bringing up the name of the most famous/infamous horror movie magazine is being used as a transition to the following movie review, The Fangoria co-production, "VFW", a more horrific and authentic story of old soldiers kicking ass.

 

VFW (2019)

The opioid epidemic has further evolved. A new drug called Hype has hit the market, but with limited supplies, junkies know as hypers are quick to becoming homicidal to get their score from whomever they can. This has lead to such an influx in crime that the police have taken to sheltering in place leaving the public to fend for themselves. Fortunately, if you do not have much worth taking, the criminal element leaves you alone. Thus, Fred and his Vietnam War buddies can kickback and relax at VFW 2494.

Well, they could just chill out as the world burns, but a young woman with $500,000 of hype barges is as she runs from a couple of machete-wielding drug dealers. This assault results in Korean War vet Doug being critically injured and Fred quickly responding with a shotgun barrage that leaves one of the assailants minus a skull and the other retreating. It turns out that the girl, Lizard, has stolen the drugs to ruin Boz, the kingpin responsible for her sister's death.

If that is not enough motivation for the hypers to attack the VFW, Boz's brother is the thug who lost his head. This leaves our crew of 70 somethings and an Army Ranger who has just returned from the longest war in a position where they cannot negotiate their way out of it. Too bad for Boz that being under siege is where this crew feels most comfortable. Fred's crew is quick to make the bar into a trap the Vietcong would admire. When the opponents army is a bunched of crazed junkies, placing a bet on the Veterans of Foreign Wars seems like a sound one.

"VFW" scratches itches for lots of genre fans. The gore hounds will be happy with the effects. Grindhouse fans will love the aesthetic and style. Action aficionados will love the legendary line up and the brutality they express. It could have been a little more tongue-in-cheek for my taste, but how ridiculous can a feature safely be?

 My favorites features in this grindhouse revival (outside of "Death Proof") are the Soska Sisters' "Dead Hooker in a Trunk" and Jason Eisener's "Hobo with a Shotgun". I am just a fan of the gimmicky nature. You can still be visceral, but the audience knows the humor is always present. "VFW" does not have the same, "This is a joke" nature so you are applauding the ridiculous over the top violence. Some may say that the audience is seeing humor from the craziness (Like when Edward Norton's Narrator demolishes Jared Leto's Angelface in "Fight Club"), but crazy is not always funny. If you watch this film without focusing on finding humor where it is not, "VFW" is a nice change of pace from the overtly outlandish genre.

The visual style fits perfectly with the grindhouse genre. It is grainy and dirty. There are times where a little light could have helped the flick out, but when you are paying six legendary performers (Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, Martin Kove, David Patrick Kelly, and George Wendt), interior lights can be considered a budgetary luxury. My only issue with the budget is they did not give John Ratzenberger a seat at the bar. Maybe Pixar said no.

To accompany the grime, you have a John Carpenteresque score. I may need to rewatch this after stating that because outside of the action, there is a lot of generic metal on the soundtrack. For the director, Joe Begos, this is the best compliment I think I can offer. It felt so much like "Prince of Darkness" or "Assault of Precint 13" that my brain going to a synthesizer default means you have captured greatness with this homage.

The most important thing about "VFW" is that it looks like everyone is having fun. There have definitely been better Sadler, Williamson, and Kelly performances, but this is not high art. It is a payday and probably a brief one at that. I find that it can be very charming for a film to feel like they just went out and shot it and were then done with it...

Hence why I am trying to make "Main Event of the Dead" my first feature. If you want to help me out, drop russthebus07@gmail.com an email.

There are a lot of features that try to gather a bunch of once beloved stars together to make some bank solely based on nostalgia. About 50% of the time, they decide to just give these actors a check but no screenplay. "VFW" is not one of those features.

"VFW" is aware that it is putting great and always competent actors in a place where there charms can carry the ridiculous. This allows everyone an in when it comes to watching this film. After they are in, be it gore, nostalgia, or action, everyone will find something great and should leave happy. You leave really wishing that blockbusters focused on being instant classics instead of being risk-less cash grabs.

 

 

 

90-min Prime Video: "C.H.U.D." Timely Pandemic Horror

 *Blog post started on May 7, 2020.

If there was any sense of optimism from the last journal (90-Min Amazon Prime: "Wild Card' and Jason Statham vs. William Goldman), I think that had dissipated over the last week. Hoping that I could just use the stimulus check to run off to a land of debauchery was a fleeting idea and my density or inexperience with SnapChat shot down a coping mechanism. On the bright side, there seems to be a sense of order. If only that was not two months away.

My life just seems to jump between frustration and boredom. The ex was dealing with a manic stretch and thus decided to stay up for 24 hours. She went to bed last night at seven to get herself back in order, so from AEW on, I had the place to myself. I could surely find time to knock off a 90-minute movie between then and Sunday evening for Monday's blog. This means it was the ideal time to venture into my unwatched Terry Gillian DVDs or anything from the Criterion Collection. Unfortunately, with high art, I want to share it like my Michel Gondry stuff. It just felt pointless and I may not have had the energy to devote that much time. Paying great attention for two and half hours seemed boring.

Is it better to feel bored than frustrated? I suppose frustration leads to boredom. You need a break from being frustrated, but if you got nothing to do, you are going to be bored. Then you get tired of being bored and frustrated that you cannot do anything. It is chicken or the egg or the square root of negative one. We do not need that to be the blog post, so let us dive into a 1984 horror film that expresses the importance of staying inside and that could have been so much more. And at least that is frustration that will end.

C.H.U.D.

The homeless in New York's Soho district have been disappearing at a very high rate. Because of this, Police Captain Bosch is certain that there must be some foul play occurring, but the chief and commissioner tell him not to investigate them as anything more than missing persons. Once his wife goes missing, Bosch starts his investigation off the books and turns to soup kitchen operator "Reverend" A.J. Shepherd to find out what the poor folks know. He also sends police tails on homeless advocate and photographer George Cooper to see if they can stumble across any clues.

Cooper has been called on by the underground dwellers for bandages and fire arms to protect themselves. Shepherd has been collecting radiation equipment left behind in the sewer by the EPA and NRC (Environmental Protection Agency and Nuclear Regulatory Commission) after their annual inspections. With photos Cooper has taken of injuries the homeless have inexplicably endured, Bosch and Shepherd confront the commissioner and NRC after a young girl witnessed her grandfather being attacked from a sewer monster. During this meeting, a dead monster was reported suffocated from natural gas.

The NRC's answer to what occurred is simple. It was a C.H.U.D., a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller, but as far as they know, that maybe the only one. With the high radiation level, our three protagonists doubt that and it seems like it will be up to them to save the neighborhood before the NRC decides to blow it up just to be sure this menace will not migrate.

"C.H.U.D." has a reputation of being a highly regarded cult classic, and it has the elements to explain why. A simple premise that has an over-inflated lore, a few actors who will make names for themselves over the next decade (John Heard as Cooper and Daniel Stern as The Reverend, John Goodman shows up as a beat cop), and cheaper than Italian knockoff special effects provide fun rose-colored lenses to view this film through. But I left this film thinking that it could have been a lot more based on the cult status that lead me to it.

For a three paragraph summary that only gets us to the second act, not much happens to maintain your attention. There are few scares and nothing really over-the-top about them. The acting is strong for the genre and the dialogue can amuse, but without gore or suspense, it feels more like a subpar police procedural.

In the third act, the story unravels to finally provide the film with some action. It is amusing at times, but feels like separate movies instead of a cohesive one. Again, without outrageous effects to go with it, you are just watching a quickly thrown together PG-13 thriller instead of the horror movie it promises to be.

"C.H.U.D." is worth a view if you want to know what all the subversive comedy directors are talking about. It has a great premise for a low-intelligence horror movie, but does not make it over that low bar.

Jordan Peele and Kevin Smith were fans of it, and I could see either of them releasing a great remake or even 3-D movie auteur Patrick Lussier providing at least an amusing exploitive one. It is a property worth expanding on, so I guess I cannot question it being worthwhile. Lets hope the rest of Hollywood is aware of that. If they are patient, we can have an ideal C.H.U.D. by 2022.

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90-Minute Red Box: "The Hunt" a Great Wind Down from "Full Gear" Weekend.

 *Blog post started on November 9, 2020.

 

All the ratty clothes that I do not want Mom to throw out have been washed. I have yet to open up the vape from my last NuEra visit, but when you have a bit of liquidity to your finance, further stockpiling seemed like a wise move. If only it was not next door to my laundromat, the dispensary might be out of mind. Mooching water from my places of work has been optimized. This all means that I am ready to hibernate for the winter.

 

At least I am more ready for winter than those Charmin Bears. Get a bidet. You can use less with Charmin, but the fur must still require more bog rolls than what I use. Then again, they might be stuck on the product because of a perineal fixation, but bidet manages that better.

 

The hibernation talk is because I am just feeling exhausted. It might be the diabetes, but the sudden onset of this throws me off. After all of the reestablishing a relationship with OSF, I think these symptoms have suddenly become prevalent. Heartburn is something I dealt with once, twice at most before 2020. After hearing it was a symptom of diabetes, it seems to always be lurking. Perhaps it was the power of suggestion being used by the physician assistant I see. Or it could just be 2020.

 

2020 is perhaps the year that Trump's America deserved. Too bad they just reject any kind of suggestion in the name of liberty. The sudden unseasonable weather has led me to close up my apartment, so the allergies are fine at the moment. People like the following are my only headache right now.

 

Switched my phone, so I do not have the list of the most deplorable on hand. Please accept my apologies.

 

Since we all know they are delusional, it is easy just to ignore them when their deity will soon be forced off his pedestal. If you consider his health and skin color, calling him a golden cow is not much of a stretch. You figure his moronic followers are more aware of the Old Testament than the new based on the values they display.

 

If only they understood irony. If they did, we would not have to worry about hate crimes before the term ends. I am little bit concerned for the President Elect with a Friday the 13th coming up. Otherwise, a weekend with great wrestling and a decent 90-minute flick, it is the closest I have been to being carefree in a while.

 

AEW Full Gear and DRCW Title Changes

 

I was surprised that we left the show with the tag team and secondary championships changing hands. After the Tully Blanchard was barred from ringside, a Bucks victory was guaranteed. With the lack of drama in the women's division, Shida seemed more susceptible to defeat.

 

Cody's latest reign did not have the time to be spectacular, so being a constant thorn in Darby Allin's side seemed more appropriate. Allin chasing the title can sell tickets, but with no crowds, AEW might be wise in saving that. But did that cost them the Disgruntled's OCHO Championship?

Who are the Champions my friends. Find out at DRCWwrestling.blogspot.com.

 

My Other Hunt this Past Weekend: "The Hunt"

When a liberal elite's server was hacked, a text thread about a manor in Vermont was leaked online. It suggests that these elite gather up deplorable conservatives, take them to this manor, and hunt them for sport to serve as an outlet for their frustration with them pushing the racist, homophobic, and antiscience views of the 45th president. The far right conspiracies' web presences have dubbed it Manorgate.

 

If this is happening, the left does not have to worry about their safety, so no one with any sense takes it seriously. For those who lack that, a fresh dozen of likely QAnon followers have woken up in the woods in what seems to be the middle of nowhere. In a clearing, they find a crate filled with weapons. Once they have all grabbed their firearm of choice, they soon realize they are the latest guests at the Manor. It is a controlled environment, so there is likely no escape. Here's hoping the stereotypes about militia fans are true because their lives depend on those pseudo military skills.

"The Hunt" was the satire I needed to cleanse my palette of the matriarchal suggestion of "The Second Civil War". It finds the middle ground to judge both sides from and provides a story where stuff actually happens instead of just trying to be clever with dialogue. If there is a flaw, it is that the violence could have been more grindhouse inspired for my taste.

The humor comes from the absurdity of the situations and the characters. So I think that calls for absurd violence instead of generally brief (yet graphic) or implied brutality. Gore is absurd, thus appropriate. Especially when the film's premise sparked immediate controversy and was so volatile that the release date got pushed back due to the Dayton and El Paso mass shootings. If you are going to even release such a feature, you should go for broke.

Fortunately, the story itself is solid and involving enough that you could have almost gotten away with a near bloodless production. The beauty of the feature is that the viewer cannot like anyone on either side except our primary survivor who never mentions their politics in the picture. You want everyone to get their comeuppance except the character with the live and let live attitude outside the Manor and kill or be killed in it. Everyone is going to die in a story like this, but it is rare that you get to applaud every death.

Production wise, there is not much to complain about. Director Craig Zobel has some difficulty filming action in closed off environments, but this is a hunt, so most of the kills are sudden and no one gets to fight back. Because of this, any director could have taken on this project, but Zobel was brave enough to do so.

Obviously, the script is brilliant. It shows the world from a centrist light and avoids telling the audience how to resolve the issues. Anyone with an extreme viewpoint is a danger to the masses, so do not become one of them is the moral. The liberal Hollywood trick to it is that the left in this film has a point to make. Good satire still needs the viewer to pick a side. That side characters could be flawed and awful, but their message is still valid.

 

All "The Second Civil War" did was just say identity politics are going to ruin the nation. It did not dare say that there was away to avoid it. Otherwise, it is a great cast delivering dialogue that can offer funny premises, but nothing is done with them. "The Hunt" delivers on the absurd nature of both sides with the moral of do not let you politics make you a douche. "The Boys" has a similar message at the end of the second season, but I got to be careful with my C-bombs.

"The Hunt" provides the audience with a crazy premise and delivers on the promise of a high moron kill count. Both sides can enjoy it and reflect on who they really are as people, provided they have the patience and stomach for the feature.

 

As a straight satire, I had as much fun watching "The Hunt" as I did "Doctor Strangelove". If a director of Kubrick's skill had directed this, it would be a modern masterpiece. But we all like looking over Da Vinci's sketches, so give this a view.