The Card: Keanu vs. Brigsby Bear; Netflix and Angels vs. NinetyForChill.com and Amazon

I have been going to bed earlier and earlier and since abandoning the Wrestling Compadres Slamcast for downplaying, ignoring, and insulting All Elite Wrestling, I have been listening to more movie podcasts like The Ringer's "Rewatchables". Thus, I had the urge to pop in "Point Break" last night instead of "Brigsby Bear". Was buying ninetyforchill.com that wise an investment if I cannot keep coming up with content for it?

...
Do I ever need anything that I can buy on Amazon in two days? The answer is no. But if my still very valid dvd.netflix.com's current disk is not under 97 minutes, Prime Video is where I go, especially since they seem to have the rights to all the VHS tapes that major distributors want us to forget about. On that note, does anyone know an actual digital content provider that has Albert Pyun's Gary Daniels starring "Heatseaker"? If Prime could get that, I will totally abandon my guilt for warehouse worker abuse for the two-day shipping.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

www.brigsbybear.jp

Schrodinger's Cat: Prelude to Observations (It shouldn't be all about me...shouldn't).

June 21, 2014

So, I guess I have to do something to make this blog about "the movie."

Over the past week, I have come up with a possible round about way of getting exposure, but that's putting its fate in the hands of a drunk's (seeming at my level, so I don't consider that fighting words) aspirations of becoming a professional wrestler.

Curse this person for pushing my creativity nerve. It may serve as a pleasant distraction from my wanting to try front flips into bear traps (not necessarily suicidal), but if I get worked up about depending on someone else, the let down may just flat back my bumps.

Thus, my focus on promoting an effort to get "Main Event of the Dead" is paramount.

Observation 1: "Main Event of the Dead" Has Charm.

How does B-Movie Zombie Wrestling Comedy not sell itself? I blame the blockbuster. Why are people buying Michael Bay's Charm-Free Translation of a Toy Line featuring Mark Wahlberg?

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/cats_schrodinger

Public Enemies - When is it going to be Babyfaces's Time?

What was the appeal of John Dillinger? The Robin Hood nature of attacking the feds? His public disregard of authority? The fact he obviously must have looked like Johnny Depp? Michael Mann's film "Public Enemies" is a successful attempt at providing the viewer some insight into Dillinger while showing how the government are the true villains.

Aside from Babyface Nelson of course. I admired the job by Stephen Graham (one of many actors who successfully covers up their accents in this film...when will Jude Law and the Pythons learn), but like pass examples in cinema, we are only given the crazy side of him. Surely he was more dynamic than an over-rated Heath Ledger performance?

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

 Original Film Art: Public Enemies (2009)

Anime - Battle Arena Toshinden - Not Quite SFII: The Animated Movie

I forgot that I did episode by episode reviews at The Bus's Transit of Anime Reality. I doubt the true otakus need me to do an in depth critique of this Fighter to Anime, but it's my blog, so first and for most this should be for me. The past couple of weeks, I've kept it free of overly depressing 2009 Russ Stevens related bullshit, so at the very least you can give me this. 

Volume 1 Volume 2

This video game to anime adaptation is every bad thing I associate with U.S. Manga Corps (opinion has changed): bad colors, mediocre music and sound, and far from top quality animation. Still if your a fan of video game fighters, you'll enjoy this anime.

"Battle Arena Toshinden" is good enough to pull the fights together, and all the fights are important unlike the "Street Fighter 2: the Animated Movie". It does a good job at only concentrating on the story's main character, but unfortunately it does give us bits with the mediocre characters (only as characters not as video game fighters), Mondo, Duke, Fo, and perhaps Rongo, but at least they still are relevant to the plot. Also the video does does give us the authentic feel of a button smasher, unfortunately it is done only through special moves. Then again, some people may say that is the only way to fight in the video game. The animation still has a unique style and there is some great artwork available. Again you have to be a fan or looking for a cheap anime to enjoy this, so it is definitely not for everyone.

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks.

wikipedia.org

The Card: Borussia Dortmund vs Brigsby Bear; Ozzyman & Hilton vs Wilde & Swift

ebay.co.uk

I left my Hot Topic credit card at home, which is probably a good thing, but missing out on $75 of Hot Cash seems to be fumble on my behalf. Feels like it, but I may only have the space for one Funko Pop! in my 18 boxes of 17 toys (19 if you include the wrestling themed box, 20 if you count the ones on display) so it is a good stopping point. Either hold out for a Rei or Squirtle, or find a job that offer printer paper boxes to claim. That may have been the best thing about the I Hotel, but that probably is not indeed.com appropriate.

And with that said, you know I can never just return the particle board palace that Peter Fox built. It would be nice to recoup some income, but I think that I will manage Wizard World somehow. No need to go back to my blogs trashing the place and editing the comments out. Sadly, on a Sunday this slow, that would prevent me from needing to write despite a lack of movies to review or something driving me to satire.

It is July 21 if your are wondering when this is being written. The 19th and 20th involved 12 hours of driving and weather that prevented further exploration of Northwest Indiana. You get to bed at 2 am to wake up at 8 am, you have not met the sleep quota for a "vacation" day. Especially when an hour of driving was taking detours to try and kill a fried chicken craving of mine to no avail. Hence, I went to bed before 10 pm to conclude the quest that witnessed a worthwhile defeat of Liverpool FC.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

 

Schrodinger's Cat: Rationalizations of an Existentialist (Part 17: Final Exit Strategist)

I know I'm writing this a day early, but after ending last night in utter desperation, I better try to extinguish my angst before it consumes my entire 16-hour work day.

Where my head is at right now, this maybe the last plea for assistance in producing "Main Event of the Dead," my Troma-quality concept about never-would-be wrestlers accepting the challenge (and the gratuitous nudity opening credit sequence) of facing undead grapplers with ridiculous, border line offensive gimmicks.

It must solely be me that this concept has no support. Wrestlers should always ask about work, but no one has asked. Surely there are some film nerds in Peoria (why am I limiting myself when I'm suppose to have "friends" from the Iowa border to Ohio's, Minnesota to Cairo [Illinois]) who want to work on something that isn't a documentary. But, I totally incompatible with the world as I recently found out, so maybe I am the only person who thinks this is worthwhile. The seven know that I am the only one who believes that. Or at least I did.

It seems my honesty is not only unappreciated, but criminal.

Rationalization 52: You're Not Wrong, Only an Asshole Would Think That.

...

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Saw this over in a LOTR page - Reddit
 

July 2009: Just because it's Michael Jackson doesn't make it 80's

Stuck inside because I don't have any money to go outside...or a good cause to beg for money. My apologies to The Goddamn Pimps, but it is just too much trouble to start a credit card tab at SOP's on a Saturday night.

The Peoria Theater cannot draw me out with their 80's double feature of "The Goonies" and "The Wiz". I am not objecting to the prior. That's grounds for taking "my child of the 80's" card away, and no matter how many times I wreck that edition of Trivial Pursuit, it won't be given back.

Of course, The Goonies, is everything that is good about the 80's. The only things missing from it are Corey Haim and a young black midget. That would have made the film perfect if it had Tony Cox ("Bad Santa") and Anne "Mama Fratelli" Ramsey kicking around Robert Davi and Joe Pantoliano. Imagine a Sloth/Cox showdown. The film was already 114 minutes long, may as well make it an even two.

Stevens Spielberg and Chris Columbus owe us six extra pages of ethnic and childhood obesity jokes. Why did they hold back? Chunk and Short Round are immortalized by you guys. They should be more than happy with further ridicule for eternal glory. Then again, Columbus has never been daring, but for the garbage that was only redeemed by Jonathan Ke Quan released a year earlier, Steve owes us ("The Color Purple" was not enough, especially for putting your name on the Bayformers franchise).

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Pinterest @astorka_pl

Slayers: The Motion Picture...for the Wannabe Anime Expert

characterdesignreferences.com

"Slayers" is another series I knew I would have to check out sooner or later. You can call me cheap, but with a series that has so many videos, I figured I would wait for the release of one full story in say 90 min. It is not the first time I've done this, and I won't quit this practice which has only back fired on me once with "Macross 7: The Movie" (30 minutes in full length, anta baka?).

For a more in depth review (i.e. second guessing myself), check out AnimeFlow.

Never mind how I finally sampled this series, but the bottom line is I saw this film and really enjoyed it. You can't help but like the characters of Naga and Lina, so, like "Tenchi Muyo!" they are the main draw to the series. Also like Tenchi's movies, if you are looking for a long running story (episodic) this isn't it. Slayers is a great comedic picture with a decent, but cluttered story which maintains one's interest. I probably won't buy too many of the videos in this series, but one or two might be worth getting. Especially when I have a little sister who acts a lot like Lina. Thank god she doesn't check out my pages^_^.

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks.

90 Minutes on Prime: Contamination...of Cinematic Bed Bites

School is out and I am shagged.

My suggestions for my retailer to make my position full-time come as they do a manager swap. Not that it would allow me to step away from my corporate hotel position, but more money and less chances for the management to put me on a back burner in terms of time off requests would be nice.

Did I want to go to a wedding tonight? Not particularly as I think of the poor catering and lack of bar from the last one my girlfriend took me to. The couple each brought one kid into the relationship, so I suppose chicken fingers had to be on the menu, but when you order one cheap item, you tend to keep buying cheap instead of compensating by buying something that sounds sophisticated. And then the kids stuff is being devoured by adults looking for a sure thing. An outdoor reception in the middle of no where kind of prevents a kitchen from providing you warm food as well. A bar of any type would have been nice to wash that stuff down with.

I could say it would be nice to be on the other side of the desk after dealing with drunks at the iHotel. My marvelous debonair drunk status would allow me to side with the staff and try to guilt trip the assholes from the nuptials to get their shit together. Of course, today's wedding would be in town. And the next wedding she wants me to accompany her to is during UIUC football season, so doubt that will hold up unless I get out of this extended stay facility.

My current hospitality position is constantly filled with reasons to want to leave. Tonight's motivator was team members who lack the skill set to work with guests deciding to book birthday parties for their kids at very discounted rates. If you cannot deal with guests, you probably do not handle yourself with an attitude that most people can tolerate. Do on to others, treat people the way you want to be treated, live the role. You know what kind of bullshit we deal with, do not act like you were waiting a turn to reciprocate.

Not wanting much respect might not be a bad thing. If we are not going the extra mile for ourselves, society might get more relaxed. Sadly, they those who have everything will use that as an excuse to exploit you. If you do not want to impress people, you do not need the means to do so. I hate to kill the buzz, but you got to act like you want to be appreciated.

Where to transition to from here? Do I rant about my girlfriend's perception that I might tight bummed nature should end when I am in the confines of our home? Or should I start my movie review about an Italian-German "Alien" ripoff that tried more than most foreign knockoffs to be appreciated, "Contamination"?

"Game of Thrones" has not concluded yet, so better keep the peace for the next 48 hours. Here is a review for something that "80's All Over" over reacted to.

A freighter from Columbia was making incredible haste to arrive in New York. This is quite off since there are no signs of a crew. When it is tugged into port, Lt. Detective Aris is assigned to investigate the ghost ship with a team of quarantine experts. He ends up being the only survivor as the team joins the rest of the crew, exploding after encountering large green eggs found in Univerx Coffee boxes.

Aris is of course quarantined by the department of defense, but Col. Stella Holmes believes his experience with these seemingly alien bacteria pods makes him an asset. He is an asset who is at least aware that there is only one possible reason why this potential invasion has come to Earth despite the odds are one in billions. They must have stowed away with one of the crew members from a Martian expedition.

The surviving member, Com. Ian Hubbard, is up for restoring his reputation after being smeared by his comrade Hamilton, and will join these two as they head to South America to stop the cultivating of Armageddon. Hopefully, this event is just the randomness of the cosmos, because who can imagine a motive to kick start our destruction?

"Contamination" tried to be more than a straight rip off of Ridley Scott's classic, and you have to appreciate that. It wanted to be ranked up their with the memorable Lucio Fulci films like "Zombi 2" and have the class of Dario Argento. Sadly, the action-free second act prevents it from adequate amounts of gore to be silly like the prior or provide a great "Goblin" score like so many of the latter's films have.

This film does not have truly inspired gore, just exploding torsos, but the first act give you plenty of it and a ridiculous premise that promised to keep it up. Once the second act starts focusing on conspiracy of how this could have happened in NYC, it does nothing to grab your attention like a fun horror flick would. It plays out like a James Bond film, but Bond films at least have action every 15 minutes or so. With the film's villains being dependent on the eggs as their only memes to maim, using them to keep our attention is not as convenient as rifles or ninjas.

Once Mars is mentioned, you know this film is stretching to justify the effects in the first act. If this was a third act surprise, my eyeballs would not have rolled back. With a bit of restructuring, this flick could have been everything it wanted to be. When you watch a Italian knock off, you want it to have a plot that lets you see ridiculousness every 10 minutes. If screenwriter cannot figure a way for an animal to suddenly strike (dogs at the throat of the handicapped is a reliable one), than he missed the point to begin with. Because writer/director Luigi Cozzi knew how to make American cinema jabs in the dialogue, this being a miss is even more disappointing.

When I booted up Amazon Prime, it was to rewatch "Galaxy of Terror" since I did not jot down a review after that Netflix DVD. Because of the gore and "Galaxy's" second unit director and production designer, James Cameron, eventually directing "Aliens", "Contamination" seemed like it was going to be a more worthwhile watch. In a way, it was. Cozzi's film reminded me of how much I enjoy great B-Cinema, and that I am not necessarily watching it ironically. It felt good to want to revisit Fulci's films and expand willingness to watch Roger Corman's films that make you think, "that is surely too much."

"Contamination" is inoffensive and ambitious enough to avoid being painful, but when your asking for better stories but similar production qualities, a Euro-junk cinema fan can skip it. In fact, it will remind you to when the first act ends.

http://www.bluraydvdcovers.blogspot.com/

 

90 min. Netflix: "The Girl from the Naked Eye" A Stuntman's "Sin City"

I do not know how I managed it (of course once you state that, you immediately realize it is the need to get out of Champaign hospitality all together), but life may finally be straightening out for me. It is a good vibe despite I still need to sell $50 of video games to be caught up with this paycheck's bills while fearing the lack of hours post Prime Day when it comes to my retail work.

With my parenthetical about the hotel scene in Chambana, thanks should be given to the previous night that lacked a houseman to assist me. This allows me my "quiet" night (there are still a handful of kids and no standby laundry behind the desk, so if there is a run of pool towels, my mood will be shot) to actually write a blog instead of cutting together the previous weekend's work to coincide with whatever trending event is going down. That being said, it makes me think I should have further exploited #FightForTheFallen, but I do not want to promote myself over a charity event. Seeing my initial numbers, that was a bounce off the foot. Boing!!!

It was a lot of misses and annoying children yesterday. After watching a flick that I do not want to be too harsh on before going into work, this result should have been expected.

I suppose it is a good thing that "The Girl from the Naked Eye" saw the light of day. Jason Yee was an acclaimed martial artist who wanted to make it in movies, so producing your own screenplay seems like a good idea. It is what I am doing with "Maine Event of the Dead" my low budget, pro-wrestling zom-com (feel free to request a treatment by emailing russthebus07@gmail.com), so I cannot discourage this approach to fame. Too bad I lack the wrestling acclaim (thanks mental illness and other people's drug addiction [I wonder how I screwed up not getting the junkies' leader's profile to stay up when I moved everything from GoDaddy to Hostgator...or did the new server frown on pooplist.html]).

One think my film will wisely lack is having a production company with the word digital get a title card before the picture. It just screams, yes this is done on the very cheap. Then again, I am not trying to hide the thrifty nature of my flick, so Bentlight Digital, email me at russthebus07@gmail.com if you want another project to get behind.

The Girl from the Naked Eye

Jake is a degenerate gambler whose best quality is his ability to kick ass. This leads to Simon, the owner of The Naked Eye strip club, offering him a job as a driver/enforcer for his side business, pimping. It was nothing more than a job to Jake until he started driving Sandy around. Both frustrated about ending up in this underworld, they were just happy to know that someone else knows it should not be that way. Sadly, Sandy wants more from Jake, but he is too uncomfortable with her under aged status to provide it. And sadly, her desires have just led to her demise.

How could this has happened? Who would have done this? Jake is a man on a mission to solve this murder and avenge the woman he spurned only to fail in protecting.

"The Girl from the Naked Eye" does not disappoint the viewer until about 20 minutes in when the only actress featured on the DVD only has one scene. After the critical success of Steven Soderbergh's "The Girlfriend Experience," I really wanted to see what former porn actress Sasha Grey would offer as a traditional actress in a standard narrative. This film did not provide her that opportunity. So now, I am going to have to download her musical collaboration with industrial legend Pig to make sure she is not destined to be an after thought.

Please pardon that rant because this film is quite inoffensive. The story is immediately forgettable even for someone like myself who has been traumatized by the unrequited love of an adult entertainer who died to soon. It serves as a great reel for Jason Yee action star capabilities, there are some well-shot fight scenes which makes you less harsh in regards to generally unenthused acting and the special effects show a lot of potential. You will see the comic book aesthetic they were going for right out the gate, so being a short flick, you are going to stick around to see if something good will come from it.

This film had a chance to be a new take on Robert Rodriguez's "Sin City" style, but it does not double down on what they make attempts at doing. That could be a budget issue, but without that dressing, all "The Girl from the Naked Eye" is a warm up for whatever softcore porn will be ran on Cinemax or Showtime. With the Internet, do you really want to stay up that late anymore?

images.moviepostershop.com

Schrodinger's Cat: Rationalizations of an Existentialist (Part 16: Peoria Approved Ninja Turtle)

Busy season at the hotel, that was my immediate blame for not writing a complete blog this week. Curse my honesty, and my inability to wake up before 2 pm on Saturday.

At least give me a "D" for effort, I shut off the video games at 3:15 am. Or have I just got tired of "Minecraft?" Better not open up any of the $400 of stuff I've yet to play. Thank the seven I have not gotten into the current generations. Or am I just being cursed for buying the Wii U?

Alright, the "D" effort is for just making it to work on time. I just didn't have the time to make myself lunch.

And of course I'm cursed for that. No lunch, means I had to order from 225. It actually means I had to middle class starve since I was driving quite a bit and and couldn't appreciate the meal. At least the over tippers made it worthwhile...as it is soon to be spent on fast food once I leave work.

I can't win. The back and forth of the previous paragraphs is evidence of that. Every negative had a positive, and an inevitable negative. If we assume the pattern maintains its consistency, a positive would follow. So, if I'm not a loser, I'm Pi.

Curse my diabetes, I can't have much pie. Never had much of a taste for the traditional dish (I'd just assume have a can of the filling), but I have to even sustain from the pseudo-Italian classic, pizza.

Rationalization 50: You Can(not) Be a Ninja Turtle.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Starship Troopers and How I Learned to Appreciate the 2008 Election.

First off, with all of my anime reviews I'm trying to save before Geocities gets shut down, I've come across a lot of MIDI files used for background music. Since every time I start up Firefox with one of my sites loaded, there is a constant reminder that I better get this midi up before Jarvic Cocker haunts me. He's a weird British Indy guy, so I don't think he knows the difference between live and dead.

So here's a link to Pulp's Disco 2000 in all it's keyboard glory.

Now on to more pressing manners. Fascism, is it as glamorous as Paul Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers", or is Obama right in vetoing the F-22 budget? Or could it be the charismatic president's elaborate scheme to lead us into a Federal world?

As for the F-22, no matter my love for dog fighting movies (reminds me that I have to truly compose my "Iron Eagle IV" review) and the inevitable "Rise of Cobra", there is no reason to believe our fighters need to be updated. The Thunderbirds are still F-16s, the Blue Angels are F-18s, and B-52s have successfully maintained a fear of nuclear holocaust since 1964.

Also, the most effective tanks have been the same since the 70's. Thank you Military Channel's "Top 10 Infantry Vehicle" show. You prevented me from settling on watching horrid Michael Jackson covers.

The point is, the weapons we have are superior to all of our threats, so why try and further brutalize them. They actually may make war less brutal, but you can't say it is okay to not give the guys in the caves a chance to face Mecca and offer one last prayer for 71 virgins and a slut they can study from.

If you want to use new weapons, find a tougher opponent. For someone who loves the science of noble destruction, I am pissed that we haven't encountered "The Rise of the Machines", and the bugs aren't sending asteroids to reinvigorate the human and more importantly the patriotic spirits.


Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

The Last of the Evangelion Manga Reviews (at least till I dig out Books 3/4 from storage)

Issue 11 --- Issue 12

It was tough for me not continuing with the "Neon Genesis Evangelion" manga. Unfortunately, I had difficulty with Viz delivering the issues. They were kind of enough to take care of the issues, but I thought it maybe wiser to quit subscribing and leave the series on an up note.

Actually, I thought I knew how it all ends (I went to the trouble of watching a Chinese subtitled version of the first movie), so what was there going to be to really surprise me besides more Pen Pen revelations?

Shortly after this, I spent two weeks in London. Man do they know how to treat an otaku. I loaded up on anything Eva. Post cards, original alternate universe manga, the toys (which I unfortunately had to open to pack), and mouse pad. They also have a lot more anime magazines on the dark island, and in trying to catch up with "Perfect Blue's" release, I read a lot of them. Evangelion still being the hot topic, there were articles about Eva's voice cast, the movies, and the manga. A manga that was based on the TV series.

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks.

See No Evil: Not Kane the Movie.

At least I could wait till 8:00 pm to start writing this blog. Too bad it took a sprinkler leak over the front desk to cause this. I suppose that's just a metaphor for my life or just the ultimate case of the Mondays (6/8/15, I imagine this blog may not be released till "Money in the Bank," so the hotel will be in tip top shape by then).

If you want a case for there being a God(s). The United Methodist Great Rivers Conference will sell the hotel out in just a few days, so he/she must be trying to wash the sin away from the atheist (and catholic) staff to make it the ideal location for the final group mentioned on the "Blazing Saddles: Vicious Criminal and Gunmen" list.

I could go into my sense of being lost, but the previous paragraph left me with a transition, dare I say direction, to get right into this week's movie review from Netflix DVD, "See No Evil" featuring WWE Superstar Kane.

Four years ago, Officer Frank Williams and his partner were called to investigate a noise disturbance at a church that was blaring the hymns too loudly. What they found was a girl who had her eyes removed and an ax wielding giant.

Williams was able to get a round off into the monster's skull, but it cost him his partner's life and his flashlight holding hand. Needles to say, this type of heroism will allow you to pick your own path in law enforcement, so he has since decided to help arrange juvenile delinquent community service programs. His latest assigns a group of coeds time to turn the dilapidated Blackwell Hotel into a shelter for the homeless.

Of course the Blackwell has quite a morbid history. The owner built the hotel as his own personal playground, so it may have been the will of God to see the penthouse floors destroyed in a fire, with him staying there, 35 years prior. Still, the privacy those floors can provide the teenagers from their supervisors and the chance of finding a lost safe presents too much temptation for the kids to stay in their bunks.

With so much sin that will return to this hotel, it is only poetic to see Williams's past return with them as he has just made reservations for his eight junior felons at Jacob Goodnights's new abode.

"See No Evil" gets it wrong from the get go. There are some Lucio Fulci films that I call total cow excrement on, but I do not feel like his pictures were ever fresh manure since I can make it to the end before sensing a whiff. You notice the stench at the beginning of the second act, and director Gregory Dark's infrequent frantic camera motions do not remedy the smell.

Sometimes, you do not know how much you despised something until you write the first paragraph about it. Sometimes, you got look back to get angry I suppose. Maybe we should never look back at all.

The film has two characters that we might care about, but in an attempt to make you more interested in the third rate story with third rate gore, one of them will not make it that far. I do not think that's a spoiler because it is still tough to care for either of them.

In my opinion, there is only one satisfactory kill which is what we watch these films for. It is a nice throwback to Fulci and Argento's better works, but the director was too afraid (or the producers to cheap) to make up for all the lackluster violence. They could have at least provided some nudity or cliches to make up for it. Emphasis on the phrase "could have."

The biggest miss is that it under utilizes Kane. Perhaps if it was made in 1997, it would have worked...better...to have the monster with a handler. Sadly, this film was made in 2006. Pardon if I lack wrestling knowledge, but I believe that was at least two years into the unmasked demon that was not afraid to speak his mind. All "See No Evil" delivers is a weak version of Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees. At least those guys were creative in their craft. Facial expressions of pain and torment are not as powerful.

Fortunately, the "See No Evil" sequel has promise with the Soska Sisters at the helm. The Twisted Twins spoke of how they would like to make a Wyatt Family origins feature, so they know that you cannot reinvent a WWE Superstar, but answer the questions behind the characters. Of course, Jacob Goodnight might be a challenge since Dan Madigan already made him lame.

Lamer than corporate Kane.

If you watch this flick, hopefully you'll acknowledge my eye for what is needed for a good horror flick. And maybe, you'll give me a chance to convince you to give my B-movie zombie/wrestling project "Main Event of the Dead" support.

The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:

• Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
• The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
• Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
• One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
• A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we'll make replacing it a priority.

Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.

If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

90 min. of Prime: "Death Warrant" Coincidentally the Dog in the Flaming Room Meme

It definitely felt like a busier week for me. Going out to see fireworks, that is definitely busy work.

Please pardon my lack of patriotism. Forgive me for watching fireworks with my English Football tattoos exposed due to my Marty Scurll and Zack Zabre Jr. tank top. But listen to me about how The American Revolution was nothing more than a ploy to serve the rich. I do not know if I can flush that one out into a great piece of satire at this point, so that indoctrination will be for another time.

Regardless, God Save the Queen and Fuck the Video Assisted Referee (any good ref could have seen the offsides and the penalty).

On the topic of great foreign things that have fallen on hard time (I cannot wait for the Prince Charles take on "JVCD"), Jean-Claude Van Damme was one of those. As an action star, not an actor of course. If you have a writer as wise as David S. Goyer who knows how to justify an Los Angeles cop with an accent, you are in for some good stuff. If only I had those details before I accidentally came across the ridiculous finale of "Death Warrant" on cable.

10 years later, as someone who appreciates the Zack Snyder's DC trilogy, I can revel in the ridiculous premises that Goyer lays out. If only "Superman" had Van Damme's personality, I think everyone would agree with me that "Dawn of Justice" and "Death Warrant" can only be regarded as classics.

After single-handedly avenging his fallen partner, Quebec-transplant Louis Burke is the buzz of the L.A.P.D.'s homicide division. Being able to defeat the psychotic giant known as the Sandman, the governor and attorney general believe he can handle an undercover assignment in a state prison. He is a Quebecer. How would any inmates know who he was? This makes him the ideal person to determine who and why the new straight-laced inmates keep getting murdered. Or does this make him the ideal target.

The guards are in on this game and the governor may be as well. With Burke only being able to trust Amanda, his liaison, and Tisdale, his adolescent hacker pal, he will need to stick his neck out and ally himself with the wisest and most ambitious inmates to take down this conspiracy. All while praying that no seemingly invincible cons who he had busted get transferred to this clink.

"Death Warrant" might be the last great crazy script from the 80's era of action. Eventual TV great, Deran Sarafian's direction is the only thing that hinders the film. Well, that and most of Van Damme's costars acting down to his level.  Acting to the lead's capabilities is great when it is Keanu Reeve in a "John Wick" film, and you are portraying a criminal mastermind. Doing so as a somewhat ordinary person against a Belgian martial artist is comical.

But with all the stuff Goyer throws into his script, comical is not necessarily bad. It is like "Commando" with a lead who has more to say than just one liners. That either means we have a better story than the Schwarzenegger vehicle or far too low of a body count. Whatever you think, both are ridiculous, and that is what you want from 80's action, provided the effects are up to par, which they are.

To further get your attention, you get great supporting characters, some of whom you are just glad to see. Like Joshua John Miller, the boy who played Homer from "Near Dark." It is just good to see he did not leave his talent behind.

Robert Guillaume is not as powerful as Morgan Freeman's Red, but he gives a wise performance that is wise in so many ways. Wise that knew what kind of movie he was in. Wise that he knew how to be a relatable every man to help guide us through this tale. This wisdom must have passed on to his role as the original Rafiki.

This feature also has the best villain in a Van Damme film next to "Bloodsports's" Chung Li. Patrick Kilpatrick as the Sandman is like have an actual speaking version of Li. He is huge and menacing and his dialogue makes about as much sense as Bolo Yeung's most iconic role. Fortunately, the creepiness gives him a supernatural nature that you buy in on. Not until JVCD faces Dolph Lundgren do we get such a satisfactory adversary, and I love "Lionheart."

If I am overlooking one flaw, it may be the trangender prisoners portrayal, but this was a prison movie from before we considered all rape to be bad. What I am saying is, it is from a time where we had no clue on how to be woke. Should we remake this flick (with Van Damme as the Guillame role), I am sure we would find performers who can make this work. Would they want to is a totally different question.

Transgender hooker, hormone-driven hackers, inflammable giants and Jean-Claude Van Damme make "Death Warrant" a spectacle not to be missed. It is good for noise and it must be great with a few drinks. The story is something to be awed by and I am surprised there has not been a new take on this.

It is "Bloodsport" meets "Batman vs Superman." Who would not want to see an hour and over done CGI removed from that? Feel free to use that for the "4K 30th Anniversary Edition of Death Warrant." And email me at russthebus07@gmail.com for a treatment of my Pro-Wrestling Zom-Com, "Main Event of the Dead" while you are at.

I mean, Orion/MGM did distribute "Mac and Me." Surely I can do better.

imdb.com

Schrodinger's Cat: Rationalizations of an Existentialist (Part 15: If Hank Jr., Ain't Ready, You Ain't)

Perhaps I should start a Kickstarter to get the funds to start an Main Event of the Dead, LLC. If the Facebook friend who only has an intro video can reach $333 (a head of allotted schedule [he should only have a 250]), I should at least try to scam the tax man with my monthly payments to my domain host. Until we have a uniform international government, don't tax the Internet.

Eventually, to sell my horror/comedy motion picture, "Main Event of the Dead," I will need that paper work to sell this feature (if Troma doesn't jump on distribution). So if my tale of desperate workers versus Zombie Canadians, Hobos, and Obese SES members isn't enough to get your support, I'm sure Main Event of the Dead, LLC will have other endeavors, sure to make a return on your investment.

Still, getting the word about this project is the most important think, so if the 25 readers could spread this along their Facebook pages (get on the Twitter and follow MainEventZombie), we can get to the point where I can further finance this project beyond the $8.95 a month I spend for the maineventofthedead.com domain and the occasional eBay "prop" purchase.

Maybe I should write off my WWE Network subscription. Research.

Of course I'm working too much to fully enjoy my subscription. If only I had some paid time off, I can justify my need to put another 17 hours a week at another job to make ends meet. When you take in to account what account I work on for my 8:30 to 5 employer (never thought my commie loving ass would say it, but fuck you Jane Fonda), it hurts. Not as much as the emotional pain I've gotten by realizing, or should I say...

Rationalization 47: You Feel Just in Your Indifference.

Of course, who of those who have expressed the basis of support for this rational will find difficult to hear about my thoughts on it. One was a reader who told me that how I act is undeserving of support (remind me not to stand up to their next significant other who attempts to abandon them in a tough spot). The other, doesn't believe blogs should exist, and told me that my biggest problem is that I let people know I'm sad.

...

Rationalization 48.A: The Narrow Minded Will Keep You Down


Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Battle Angel - Hopefully James Cameron Will Do This Title Some Good.

"Gunnm" was probably the most popular manga when distributors started importing Japanese comics to the States.  The manga was so popular and adored by the biggest celebrity advocates for the product that James Cameron will attempt to adapt it to the live action format in 2011 (realized in 2019).

I have a good feeling that this project will be better than "Titanic (more fun, not as good).  "Aliens" happens to be my favorite film of his, and if Gally (the lead), is Ripley tough, how will the sham of a best picture hope to compare?  Just hope he doesn't take her to the point of Linda Hamilton nuts or Jessica Alba too hot to focus on talent (Of course, neither since Robert Rodriguez directed).

Episodes: Rusty Angel - Tear Sign

When one sees the hype there was about the "Battle Angel Alita" manga you'd figure the anime just had to be good. Well this is one of the rare times I felt disappointed in one of my purchases. I'm sure the manga is good, so when you watch this film, you are left to wonder how is that*.

Maybe it was trying too hard, maybe it was trying to package too much into two episodes, or maybe there is just something that the manga had that we'll never see animated. It is probably a mixture of the three, and after you watch it a second time, you won't be as harsh on it.  Then again that may have been me just being prepared for the disappointment.

There are a lot good things in this series, but it does seem to be a little confused about what it wants to be: very, very dark or bittersweet. This wasn't received well in Japan, and I can see why. Maybe if I was a fan of the manga I could offer a better opinion. All in all, its a chance purchase for the buyer. Maybe that is why I started so many of the sentences with maybe^_^

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks.

After These, Just One More Set of Evangelion Reviews

Issue 9 --- Issue 10
What kills me about re-archiving stuff from my Evangelion web pages is this.

I leave their tabs open when I close Firefox, so the Midi's start blaring when I open it back up. It's imperative that I post these reviews up since the midi from this one is Black Sabbath's "Paranoid". I can't let this song get ruined like I allowed a couple of Road Warrior marks ruin "Iron Man".

Stage 9: The Trial of a True Fan

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks.

90-Minute Netflix DVD - Nirvana: Christopher Lambert versus The Antivax Mouse

It is looking like it will be a super weekend for NinetyForChill.com. Three of the next five blogs will be movie reviews and not just me refining my content for MainEventoftheDead.com. After dealing with people babying their adult children with overblown graduation celebrations in the lobby, I feel the class struggle expressed in 1990's cyberpunk films from America and Italy. The Franco-African party in the meeting room also fulfills that smaller world feel of these flicks as well.

We need to develop customer service apprenticeships or have all businesses that require its employers to be legal adults be operated under University banners. People like myself who enjoy and find that the field suits us well may be allowed to earn the same respect as anybody with a bachelors. Imagine how good we would be at the job if it was supervised by a college.

At least that way, people will understand that the merit systems of reward programs do not place you in a position to demand hotel rooms a facility does not have. Especially when you know there is probably only one agent on site. This society is never going to get over bullying.

I could go into the customer service side of bullying, but judging that two rehashed entries this weekend are a bout depression, I will digress.

And, educational credit may not help the customer service field. If we mock youthful fast food employees, why would we not mock youthful clerks. It may just be a case of the haves versus the have nots, which is the root of all end of the millennium science fiction. Fortunately, we have not experienced the devastating economic falls that were prophesied, but the rise in diseases seems to be a poignant prediction.

Antivaxxers might just be the product of the rich's influence on those who envy them in the lower classes. If they do not give their kids a medicinally-insured childhood, and it seems to work, the idolization will leave the poor believing their kids will be fine. They just need to be reminded that Jenny McCarthy quit having kids and Alicia Silverstone can put her little ones in plastic bubbles.

Which movie studio has the antidotes? Sony and Paramount have not been making a lot of moves to increase their portfolios, so I think they would be the likely suspects. Paramount and Lionsgate make a lot of moves together (like refraining from joining Movies Anywhere) so they may be too dependent upon each other, but would Sony go and distribute a film like "Johnny Mnemonic" if they were hiding the MacGuffin.

Per chance it is the most obvious conglomerate, Disney. Fox was the UK distributor on "Mnemonic" and Miramax was under the Disney banner when they released the dub of the Christopher Lambert film that inspired this blog, "Nirvana". The mouse is hiding his evil intentions in plain sight.

Jimi has been consumed with depression. It has been one year since his beloved Lisa left him which is effecting his efforts to finish his latest virtual reality game, "Nirvana", and the release date is only three days away.

Solo can relate to the feelings of being melancholy and used. Every night, he awakens with vague memories of his past lives only to be drawn into Maria's quest to defeat Neo-Shanghai's criminals elements. It is the same every day until he hears Jimi giving him orders.

A virus has infected the games servers and Solo is now sentient. If living only to be killed repeatedly by noobs is his future, he would rather be deleted. Jimi is fed up with deadlines and the monotony of his life, so he can relate to the request. But how can he do it?

The only one he knows who might be able to pull this off is Joystick, the guy who was helping Lisa get settled into Marrakesh after she flew the coop. If he needs to acquire the assistance of the last lead to his broken heart, may as well see if he can make up with her before he destroys the corporation that is holding everyone down.

Oh how I wish I had some herbal assistance when I was watching "Nirvana." The story is buried within a lot of cool cyberpunk imagery and ideas, so the weed may have enhanced those and this film would have been a nice trip. Otherwise, the film is fun, but you are constantly calling BS on how it gets from point A to point B.

www.imdb.com
Info about the best current day cyberpunk
"Strange Days"

Christopher Lambert plays his archetype, and I cannot go wrong with this. As long as he gets a bit in the "John Wick" franchise at some point, the future looks bright. Every other character is too hip to emote, but they were written that way, so that is forgivable. The only flaw with that is that does not make them any different the sprites in the "Nirvana" video game. If you interpret this as Jimi and Solo's quest running parallel, that is not a downside, but definitely a stretch. The writing does not seem smart enough for that.

The journey in the film is suppose to start in a major city, but a cab will take you from the West (or Far East) to Morocco and a drive through snowy weather will land you in India. That is a stretch for me. And with the reasonably cool makeup and effects elements leaving you in a state of nearly forgetting the story, if these unique cities do not look any different, you could have just stayed in Newark like Keanu did in 1995.

Thank the gods for "Strange Days" finally getting this pre-HD cyberpunk world right. Still, with how ridiculous the film can get, you may as well enjoy it. If anything, "Nirvana" has finally inspired me to watch "Hackers."

It seems that I am now on a quest to find an intolerable 90's Internet movie. Do I skip this and work on trying to create a hybrid between "Nirvana" and "Mnemonic" instead? Let me know with and e-mail at russthebus07@gmail.com and feel free to request a treatment for my B-Movie, Pro-Wrestling Zomcom, "Main Event of the Dead" while you are at it.

AAW presents Never Say Die 2019...A New Slogan for Impact

I suppose it should just be my manta after failing to request the following Saturday morning off. I just have to make it till 2 pm tomorrow, and I can breathe and...watch more wrestling. At least it feels like I am sticking it to WWE by catching up on AEW: Fyter Fest.

Then again, seeing a lack of standing room occupancy at 115 Bourbon Street in Merrionette Park makes one fear for the indies. It maybe a great time for wrestling since a lot of the former/current AAW stars were involved with Ring of Honor's "Best in the World" pay-per-view and other mid majors were probably involved in counter programming. Still, we are Americans, and with so much stuff that is beamed into our homes, why watch Sami Callahan, The Rascals, and LAX in person for $20 (girlfriend of a wrestler discount) when they can stream Impact steams at $7.99?

My response is, "that Impact needs to die," but why would I want to limit the boys? Because Danny Daniels and Arik Cannon know how to use them and probably pay them better. If we do not attend indies, Impact will probably further abuse our favorites. They would benefit by having fewer places for talent to work. With Anthem never seeming to have their feet under them, you know they will not help the overall business.

The crowd was not as big as AAW's shows since their expansion renascence (when they started frequenting Logan Square in Chicago and moved away from the Berwyn Eagles Club), but the action was solid. Nothing that topped the low-end of four stars, so not necessarily memorable. For me, the biggest disappointment was failing to grab a $30 WWE 1997 Owen Hart shirt from a vendor. What made matters worse was my girlfriend (whose ticket I paid for) said, "Well, I would have bought it for you."

When it comes to personal victories, just getting to attend my old training grounds and see some familiar faces was great. And it is cool that tape traders have all but moved away from DVD. There is hope that I can get my girlfriend and parents to catch up with the times. If wrestling is about DVD production, so should you. I know my mom hates the thought of being associated with the marks.


Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.