"Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters": Alphabetical Viewing Is Flawed

How I did I miss out on the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" movie until two years after its release? It may have been too early for Adult Swim to release a film. It was 2006/2007, and when you add the failure of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's "Grindhouse", the general public was not ready to enjoy the charm of low-budget projects.

Thanks Quentin for fucking up everything you worked so hard to display. "Inglourious Basterds" may have been a spaghetti western, but with the production values of the project, it will only take true fans to appreciate the low-brow goals. The masses are asses.

Unlike the "Grindhouse", with just its limited animation, no one understood why people would see it after it tanked in its opening weekend. The cartoon that was with me through my decline into total loserdom performed no better than a "Forbidden Dance" flick, so maybe I was just struck too hard by this.

To pour salt in this wound, I never saw this disc for less that $20, so I eventually sold myself into accepting that it may not have been for me. I cannot be the fan they were looking for since I would not fork over the same cash I could spend on a season box set. Perhaps I should have just come to terms that I may never see this film.

For the past month (2009), I had renting a lot of movies. And a fair share of them, no one should pick up. If I am going to claim that I am a better critic than the punks from "That Guy with the Glasses" and justify my demand for a variety of B-movies to be shown at the Peoria Theater, I must give every, "this maybe cool" title a chance. Since I am only in the A's at Morton's video store, what other options do I immediately have anyway. I just hope ATHFCMFFT does not ruin the last couple of seasons for me.

I am a Cubs fan, so I hold grudges, and I will be pissed if ATHF did not deserve anything after this film. After watching "Absolon", it is just too much of a hassle to find out who will give me four hours back.

Frylock is determined to find out where he came from. Meatwad wants to get laid. Master Shake wants to get buff. Carl's Insanoflex seems to hold all these answers, but obtaining them will be quite the task.

The Mechanized Ghost of Christmas, the Plutonians, and the Mooninites are trying to possess the powers of the demonic exercise equipment as well. Will the answers be found? Will good conquer evil? Or will there be pointless casualties and just pissed off survivors?

So...ATHFCMFFT clocks in at 87 minutes. That is a minute short of eight television episodes. It would have probably have been more worthwhile to take that approach instead of the original "Battlestar Galatica's" movie treatment. The premise should not have been stretched to a full-length feature.

The film is funny throughout, but with such limited characters and a weak story, maintaining interest in the humor is tough. ATHFCMFFT's script is just one liners, so the film is nothing more than a joke book, and only the bored (or drunk) will take the time to read this book cover-to-cover.

There are a few great bits of animation that deserve more than being wasted on an ATHF episode, but most are at the beginning of the movie. The lobby snack film parody should be played before every movie. ATHFCMFFT gets the viewer in a to a state where we are open to suggestion before it takes the date too far. Physically, you do not feel much, but the mental scars remain.

The minds behind "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" may not deserve this harsh criticism. They only made the mistake of forgetting that "Monty Python" did a sketch comedy feature before they gained the ambition to make their latter pictures.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters" was just overly ambitious and suffers for that. No matter how many Rush members provide cameos, there is nothing that makes this film a must watch.

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"Kickboxer: Retaliation" How to Warrant 110 Minutes and I, the Retarded Garland

*Blog entry started on March 3, 2020

I have been in a fried state since C2E2. It was quite the learning experience. This was an experience that someone who turned 40 during it may have not been ready for. Maybe movie and pro-wrestling geekdom was too much to handle for someone who has close of 20 years of aspiration to make a mark in one of those fields.

It is good to know that I am only 15 years behind Alex Garland. His first novel was at 26 and I had not even started writing fiction until I was 27. Since "The Beach" was based on his vagabonding adventures and I am an underemployed pro-wrestler (I may not be working, but I am already open.), perhaps my mistake was abandoning "With a Capital C (working title)" to complete the script for my low-budget, pro-wrestling zom-com, "Main Event of the Dead". Feel free to email me a request for the treatment or offer advice on how to get it out of development hell at russthebus07@gmail.com. There is an order to things that I did not follow properly.

If only I knew the proper order when ending a relationship. I guess it was destiny for this blog to be hastily put together. It turns out that the amount of head trips that I had typed up was used up. Should I be worried about discussing things with about my better quarter? (Eva the Cat will always get half, but regardless of relationship status, she deserve a percentage.) There is a good chance this blog will not end up on her Facebook feed. But, I will not see her till probably after "AEW Dynamite" airs, so I might end up posting this before "the talk".

It is a new experience for me. My first relationship was in junior high, so to find out a week after the relationship started that she wanted to pursue my best friend, that was no big deal. The second relationship that started 13 years later, there was a lot of drama when it came to how it ended, but my insensitivity towards her and my ignorance about relationships were the root causes. This time around, compatibility may have just worn itself out, and that is a tough thing to accept. Hence why I want to have talk to her, it is just there are stakes this time. I am just wondering if it my ego or my heart that will be broken up.

But the lack of communication over and early bed time from her being upset that she had to fulfill the C2E2 obligations at least allows me to knock out a movie review for ninetyforchill.com. The only problem was determining movies that I have access to see, have yet to see, she might want to see (like "Paradise Hills" with Awkafina and Milla Jovovich), and what I was in the mood for. Relationship turmoil did not seem right for any Gregg Araki films.

My solution, turn that to a physical expression of turmoil in the form of "Kickboxer: Retaliation" a sequel to the 2016 reboot that I really enjoyed. Now this film was one hour and fifty minutes, so you may say, why does this qualify for a website that puts a cap on length at 97 minutes (You will never know how many movies you own that end at 1:38 until you enter an endeavor like ninetyforchill.com.)?

That is because, if you were able to establish a universe in your first film, you get to expand it in your sequels. "John Wick" was just over an 1:45. "John Wick: Chapter 2" was nearly 2 hours 10 minutes. Did we complain about that? No, because Jonathan earned it.

Surely this privilege does not solely belong to Keanu Reeves (I say that because I thought "The Matrix" sequels were fine and the extra hour was worthwhile). Stuntman-turned-actor Alain Moussi has similar limitations to his acting, so perhaps this is the non-sci-fi martial arts equivalent to Neo's adventures.

funnyactionmovies.com - 

‘Kickboxer: Retaliation’ Movie Review | David vs. Goliath

Kickboxer: Retaliation

Kurt Sloane has returned to the States with his new wife Liu after avenging his brother's death at the hands of Muay Thai kingpin Tong Po. Sanctioned mixed arts is his new pursuit, and things are going well. Unfortunately for him, he had left Thailand's underground fight scene without the lineal champion, so the reigning promoter Thomas Moore decides to kidnap Sloane and have him help in a corrupt prison for murder.

Sloane does not want to return to the underworld, so he refuses to fight Mongkut, the current champion who is large enough to cut down a horse with a single swipe of a sword, despite being offered a million dollars. He may find the prison to be a spiritual place as Moore seems to locked up all of Mongkut's potential contenders along with Sloane's trainer Durand. With Zen boxers to learn from, it may be wise to master their teachings and then take the fight.

Unfortunately, Liu's attempt to rescue her husband results in her own kidnapping, so Moore has raised the stakes. On the flipside, Moore wants the best possible, and is willing to make sure our protagonist will be ready for the fight of his life. With that kind of accommodation, Durand should be able to find a method to defeat this great mountain of a man.

If you love fight training montages, "Kickboxer: Retaliation" is for you. "Rocky IV" seems to be fondly remembered for its musical numbers. "Kickboxer" is just a few Survivor and Frank Stallone tracks from being an A-List film.

"Kickboxer Retaliation" is loaded with action to pad out the 1:50 runtime, and the variety of the fight scenes keeps you intrigued to the point where I only found out that I was an hour twenty in when I paused for a drink refill. You have to enjoy all the fight movie clichés to get into the film, so do not expect anything new. On the surface, this was yet another great repackaging of an old IP further sweetened by an extended cast of fun characters portrayed by a hackling Christopher Lambert, a blind Jean-Claude Van Dam, numerous MMA legends, and a chill Mike Tyson. That should sell any action fan to see it.

Now they are going to see direction that features many upon many poorly framed shots and video game sweat effects. The previous film's producer, Dimitri Logothetis, takes credit for the direction and what he tries and fails at shows that he has his hands in too many places. Since this film does not offer anything new, you have to avoid looking like a direct-to-video movie any chance you can. "Kickboxer" does not do that.

The pacing of this feature is fast enough, but because it does not offer anything new, it should not have been 20 minutes longer than its predecessor. We have changed the location of the violence, but the "Kickboxer" universe has not been expanded on. I think of the original five films, the last was the only one to present a "Street Fighter 2: The World Warrior" vibe, but that was hardly a sequel in terms of continuity. (In terms of a cheap 90-minute flick, Mark Dacascos delivered.) That would be the way I would make "Kickboxer: Armageddon". You cannot get away with same movie different location thrice when it comes to a franchise of any quality.

"Kickboxer: Retaliation" is an adequate action flick which serves as an acceptable addition to the "Kickboxer" reboot. It is a very late 80's action movie, so if you do not expect a masterpiece, you will not be let down. If you want a "Kickboxer" reboot to watch, I will recommend that you watch "Vengeance" instead of this. But if only one is available for free streaming (Netflix was where I get my "Kickboxer" films), you will not feel let down.

Essential: My Careers, Yes. Lockdown, Yes. "Demon City Shinjuku", Maybe

*Blog started on March 24, 2013.

I guess I am one of the lucky ones. My two jobs have both been deemed essential. Unfortunately, a lack of computers with Internet browsers at the retailer and catching up on how things will operate with two less hours (those still being paid thankfully) means that the Monday blog did not even get started.

So again Morrisey confirms that he is a dick. He lied, everyday feels like Monday. With an ex-girlfriend whose job has deemed unessential, everyday will be silent and grey. That may be a bit of hyperbole. Actually, it is a fuck up because I thought the lyric was "everyday feels exactly the same". I guess I am the dick. How dare I not pay close enough attention to Moz.

Getting through lockdown with someone you do not want to rent with (I did not intend to break up with her, which she thought was a dick move but I think just indicates the misunderstandings of our relationship. If you want to see a dick move...) scares me a little. It took her a couple of days to realize the confining elements of it, but since she did not want to bug me with how to manage the finer points (applying for unemployment benefits, understanding all the tech I have to keep her from being bored), I have to hear try to translate her problems over the phone to her employer or parents. The circles she runs makes me think she just as well call the Philippines.

That is not racist, that is how customer service work. HGS, the biggest call center corporation, charges its clients like McDonald's more for its customers to speak with American representatives. If a client still needs a call center, but at a lower rate, Manilla or Bengaluru will take care of you. This makes me wonder, since Peoria is one of their call centers (and I was there), would people rather deal with racists instead of the well meaning?

Now if I wanna get truly racist (instead of leaning away from PC culture), I would go off on those wondering why they cannot come into the retailer. What we have here is a failure to communicate.

At least with my household communication failures, it is just simple electronic rearranging and loud, relatively inoffensive music (That means no Nine Inch Nails or Lords of Acid...probably Combichrist and My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult as well.) to relax in the spare bedroom. I say simple rearranging, but even after raising the bed up again, I still got boxes on the TV consoles that prevent me from moving the PS4 and Switch to the room. It feels simpler to just wait her out till she goes to bed, but when I am in the midst of an essential 13-day work week, do I have the energy to?

It is a good thing that my secondary website, NinetyForChill.com is dedicated to shorter movies. The only problem I have is it takes so much time to find them through all the streaming services. Amazon Prime has come through for me many a time when it comes to haste, but with on-demand Rifftrax, finding these less than 90-minute gems makes me feel like I am missing something, besides "Fleabag". It is still offers plenty of the familiar, especially in terms of the post-apocalyptic, so "Demon City Shinjuku" seemed right for a revisit.

IMDB.com - Demon City Shinjuku (1988)

Demon City Shinjuku

Since the film suggests peace between Israel and its Arab neighbors, lets just say in the not too distant future, the primary district of Tokyo, Shinjuku, is a wasteland controlled by vile lowlifes and vengeful spirits. This was the result of a pact made between the demons of hell and Rebi Ra, a practitioner of the chi-dependent martial art of Nenpo who envies any human that possesses more power than him. As a result of his rival Genichiro's sacrifice in battle, the district was separated from the rest of the city, but once Ra regains his strength, the world is doomed.

10 years later, the world's president Kozumi Rama and daughter Sayaka come to visit Japan for the first time. Upon arriving, a bouquet of flowers meant to welcome the president turns out to be a trap from Ra. This attack requires Ra's former master Aguni Rai to be at the president's side as protection, so it seems that no one will be able to stop him from fulfilling his pact with Hell. The only person who may have the knowledge and skills of Nenpo to contend with him is Genichiro's son, Kyoya.

Kyoya was barely a teenager when his father disappeared, and had no time to master Nenpo. Since this seemingly makes him no match for Ra, why should he sacrifice his life only to change nothing? His reluctance to take on the war he just now became aware of seems steadfast, but if he will not go, Sayaka is more than willing to take the task on herself. He cannot just let the girl do this on her own, so despite his better judgment, he will go to war with a realm of demons. Fortunately for him, there are demons and residents who are opposed to Ra's rule, but will that be enough to survive and restore the Monster City?

"Demon City Shinjuku" is the fourth feature by Yoshiaki Kawajiri. If there is any director who I associate with all the negative stereotypes of anime (graphic violence and excessive nudity), it would be him. That maybe an insult to him because I think he has one of the most notable character designs in the industry. But this design serves as a warning that an anime may go over the top in a hurry.

"Demon City" is definitely one of his more restrained features. The first version of this feature that I saw was on the SciFi Channel in the late 1990's. Revisiting it kind of shocked me at moments of blatant sexualization of women, but it turned out that these took nothing away from the story. It leaves you wondering if there was much to take away from to begin with.

The OVA's narrative is rather straight forward and you can tell that they crammed the original novel by Hideyuki Kikuchi into this 82-minute package. Action sequence after action sequence just happens, and that totally takes away from the quest that an unlikely hero is suppose to experience. When it comes to the action, aside from the first demon battle, there is not much to it as a well-placed blow will solve any problem.

There are some great scenes that show you how to cut corners, but only if you want to know how to make a cartoon on the cheap would make this film worth studying. That is kind of a shame because for the year it was made, 1988, it might be the best-looking anime outside of "Akira" and Studio Ghibli. As I said, this was done on the cheap, so I really would like to see another/updated take on "Demon City Shinjuku." At least a version with a English dub that is not used as a voice acting exercise for its cast.

If you can watch "Demon City Shinjuku" with subtitles, this is worth a watch. Too bad finding a free version of that is going to be a challenge. $3.99 for misplaced poor Mexican and British accents is too much.

We Are 138: "The Damn United" - A Real Life Jay & Silent Bob on the Pitch

Brotherly (true) love is something that American cinema seems embarrassed to discuss. "Superbad" is probably the best example of the concept, and of course it is buried by sophomoric humor. The true love concept is not even hinted at until the brief third act.

With the rise of the fascist tea party movement (This review's draft was written in 2010.), the ignorant masses' homophobia may make the coy approach a wise one. Imagine the freak out if this concept was juxtaposed with our football. How much did Gale "really" love Brian?

Fortunately, the Yankee assumption that Brits are poofs gives them the freedom to slide tackle this innocent concept. Shaun and Ed from "Shaun of the Dead", Billy Mack and Joe from "Love Actually", etc. The only problem with these lovers (not in a gay way) is that the comedy or subplots makes their morale secondary. This makes "The Damn United" a breath of fresh air. Not so much funny in terms of jokes, but a brilliant investigation of a theatrical British sport hero and the man who made him whole.

Ulven Reviews

When England failed to qualify for the 1974 World Cup, the Football Association determined that the best candidate for the team's manager was Don Revie. Revie had turned around Leeds United from a second division team to the champions of all domestic titles. His acceptance of the international team position left Leeds without a manager, and instead of selecting from their squad, the ownership board elected to fill the vacancy with the brash and charismatic Brian Clough, the best young manager in Division One (now the English Premier League).

Clough was also Revie's biggest rival. Disgusted with Leeds's style of play, he and his assistant the brilliant scout Paul Taylor were able to pull Derby County out of the second division to the Division One Championship. Unfortunately, Clough's obsession in destroying Revie's culture lead Derby to dismiss him and his staff.

He decides to take on the Leeds job, alienating Taylor. It is Clough who must take on the world, but could he do it alone, or was his bond with Taylor the source of his greatness? If that was the case, was he willing to acknowledge it?

Michael Sheen as Clough and Timothy Spall as Taylor give performances that should lobby for an ensemble Oscar to be developed. "The Damn United" has a marvelous cast and a script that makes viewers wish it was more palatable to American taste.

Sheen is finally allowed to shine as an incredibly likable character (My experience at the time with him were eccentric supporting characters with some anti-hero elements.) that serves as the focus of the film. This allows you to truly appreciate his acting prowess. His near perfect performance allows the perfect facilitation of the internal dilemmas and emotional growth that Clough goes through.

Perhaps my praise for Sheen maybe a bit much. Peter Morgan knows how to pen a script that should result in the lead obtaining an Academy Award, except when it comes to Sheen. Sport movies rarely score rewards for lead actors, but this could have been his Oscar winning/nominated combination. We did not hold "Twilight" against Anna Kendrick.

Morgan's script is more than just a great set of characters. His method of storytelling virtually directs itself. He successfully transitions between the past and present, which shows his understanding about how the past affects the current. This probably explains why all his projects seem to be fact based, but this is the first of his feature I have seen, so my assumption maybe off.

"The Damn United" is an excellent character study about how we need someone to depend on no matter how great you are. Michael Sheen is outstanding and Peter Morgan's screenplay is a fine example of how to tell a story. If it was any American sport, this would be a universal classic. It was just the wrong pitch for Sheen's acting to take.