If it does not involve pro-wrestling, this is Russ Stevens's effort to create the one stop blog for movies that are cut to the ideal run-time, 90 minutes. This blog may feature films that may range from 71 minutes to 1 hour 40 minutes, but 101 minutes and up are too long. An hour and a half can justify cutting a film into two chapters and a book into three. Hobbits and Katniss have too many ending, consider this an effort to stop that.
"Sportz Ballz" host Tim Loss (pardon calling him Timothy in the hasty intro) comes on to the podcast to discuss a film that had a seminal influence on his life, "Roadside Prophets". He and Cool Movies Darth nearly spend two hours discussing what would be Generation X's "Easy Rider". It is a mellow suggestion that the counter culture and cheeky nihilism could save the USA from itself. We would have at least been in a better place to handle 9-11.
This film is pretty reasonably priced on iTunes ($6.99 as of March 29, 2022), but I (CM Darth) am glad that Tim did not find it to be too much of a hassle to purchase or rent digitally to have this conversation. Unless he already owned a copy. Our chat would suggest that my jealousy would be warranted if that is the case.
I have quite a Netflix DVD queue, so I may have forgotten half of the features that I remember adding to my list. When I opened the package, finding the runtime to be 1 hour 36 minutes was nice. This could have been one of the rare written reviews for a feature on NinetyForChill.com. After reading the plot summary to see John Doe from 80s punk legends "X" and Adam "Adrock" Horovitz from the Beastie Boys as the leads, this road trip movie was suggested to my social media (@catbusruss) and #FilmTwitter as a film that needed to be podcasted about.
So, Gregory Carl's friend and co-sports broadcaster, Tim Loss, let me know that he remembered the feature and was game for the Zoom meeting. He recalled seeing this film on Sundance (before it was purchased my AMC) in the late aughts. As we chatted along, we discovered the lasting influence the film had on him whether he recognized it then or not.
But first, we had to tell our stories about how we came upon John Doe. Sadly, neither of us found him through "X". As a punk rock fan, this is embarrassing for me. Probably more so than me not realizing that Riot Grrrl icon Kathleen Hannah was married to Horovitz before I saw The Julie Ruin in 2017.
When it came to discovering Doe, for Tim, it was the George Strait vehicle "Pure Country". As for me, it was the 1989, Patrick Swayze (and Terry Funk) classic, "Road House".
Episode 60: ThePoeticCritic and Oscar Fixing/Bitching (Black Cancer vs. White Autism).
ThePoeticCriticgraces NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast again with her thoughts on how the Academy Awards will either piss off #FilmTwitter or just be mocked for its failure to connect with the Marvel-loving loud mouths of Millennials and Gen Z. So Cool Movies Darth offers up suggestions on how to remedy this while setting up a lot of "The Simpsons" references to display the futility of making changes to the Oscars.
The Academy of Arts and Science seems to be making a lot of questionable decisions going into their annual awards ceremony. Decisions that maybe more questionable than CM Darth recording this on a Zoom H1N without a test run. ThePoeticCritic and the former Scoop Staley (If your podcast received a five-star review from this moniker, please return the favor.) cannot see any of the Academy's decisions working out for the better.
This year's show is dependent on Twitter with the #OscarsFanFavorite and the #OscarsCheerMoment. ABC (Disney) is hoping this will reward "Spider-Man: No Way Home" with some "serious" statuettes, but with bots and those who follow Camila Cabello and Johnny Depp, the fan favorite movie will be an expression of awful taste. As for the Cheer Moment, Russ Stevens (Firsties when it comes to using that name for podcasting) is pulling for a clip from 1999. Oh the confusion that appealing to the youth will provide us.
Other films in contention for unwarranted recognition are from Zack Snyder. There are those pushing for Netflix's "Army of the Dead" and a Flash moment from "Zack Snyder's Justice League". As a fan of most adaptations directed by Snyder, Cool Movies Darth is hoping the Internet will shut him out this year. But, he has not seen the HBO Max exclusive, and he is a supporter of "Batman Versus Superman: Dawn of Justice", so he may need to find five hours to become objective.
What does Mr. Cool Movies suggests to fix the Oscar with the Internet? How about a Twitter ticker throughout the show? Everyone likes to see their name on TV. Perhaps we need a ESPN2 commentary stream. If Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are not going to host, why not let them party and commentate the show like the Manning boys do for Monday Night Football?
This is where a content warning maybe needed. TPC and CMD discuss last year's attempts to make the telecast more interesting. The show backfired when they attempted to celebrate the career of Chadwick Boseman by presuming that he would win the award for Best Actor. Anthony Hopkins's, an octogenerian, victory over a 43 year-old who died went over as well as a lead balloon.
And this week's guest took offense to this. Hopkins had recently acknowledged his autistic diagnosis. TPC is on the spectrum as well, so she was offended that people were upset about her marginalization being cursed.
Which marginalization deserves more recognition? Is that a question we should be even considering? Here is to hoping they revert to saving the Best Picture Oscar for the end to avoid such thoughts.
The podcast does their best to look past last year's recognition. It seems like it will be a big Jeff Goldblum year, so TPC is pumped. CMD maybe stuck in the past as he looks forward to Ebertfest 2022. This leads to the two discussing the need for super critics to counter how Disney is ruining the chances to see other movies as they flood the multiplexes with whatever Marvel bollocks keeps me from seeing the likes of "The Matrix: Resurrections" in IMAX.
I was a fan of the latest "Matrix" but I understand it is not Oscar fair. Still it has a fun ensemble, just like this week's Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy Trash Feature Review. This week, CM Darth watched "The Favor" with Oscar winner Brad Pitt. This tale of middle-aged sisterhood was made before the Orion bankruptcy, but it took another three year to finally release it. That is not a good sign.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
I now see that I am settling down from the retail work day, and it is nearly 9:20 pm. It was a little busier than you would expect for Champaign/Urbana on an Illinois Basketball tourney game. This lack of support for the Illini is probably why they barely survived Chattanooga's challenge.
I guess I am jonesing for AEW Rampage since I just provided a weak attempt at a "You People!" promo. With it now being 9:25 pm, there are worries of failing to get my wings in the (air) fryer before bell time. NJPW helps with the withdrawal, but I cannot split my focus between this blog and the New Japan Cup.
Then again, catching up on "Late Night with Seth Meyer's" YouTube's "A Closer Look", is not helping the time management. It is now 9:30 pm.
Yesterday was a pretty productive day off. Skimble got some time with Ally. My doctor's appointment and lab work went well. I discovered that Long John Silver's on Prospect has their drive-thru menu almost repaired (If only they would show their employees the pin bypass function when accepting a payment at the window.). There was also a couple of hours of Pokémon played. What more can I hope for from a weekday?
Tinder chatting with a girl who took the time to start up an episode of "NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast" you say. Going to bed at 3 am did not sound like a bad idea. Thank you Shelby County Community Services Blackberry OG for making sure it was not a 4 am bedtime. I cannot help but admire her late night dedication to her dissertation.
The downside from potentially a new friend, it all started while I was giving the reimagining of "Stuart Gordon's "Castle Freak" a viewing. This feature is already 20 minutes longer than the original before the end credits run. All the chatter and accompanying pauses added another hour. At least this time I can blame that on somebody else.
@Shudder "Original": Castle Freak (2020): From Gordon to Lovecraft
Rebecca Reilly's life seems like one that no one should envy. After a recent drunken party at Miskatonic University, her boyfriend John decides he was fit enough to drive home. The result, Rebecca is blinded when he crashes the car.
Perhaps her and John's life can bounce back from this incident. Rebecca ends up being the sole heir to an Albanian castle after her biological mother dies. John cannot wait to sell the property and the old relics inside of it. This can turn their lives around, but Rebecca is too consumed about what her family history is.
Her guilt-ridden beau is gradually losing his patience with her curiosity and her insistence that their is somebody already living in the castle. This frustration leads to denial as the residents of the town let him know of the castle's cursed history. Things only get worse when his party pals come to "help" with the transition.
The only friend who seems to have any interest in studying the history of the castle is The Professor. He will not be much help moving stuff. Rebecca found a skin-bound book, and The Professor is certain that it is the Necronomicon, a lost book that documents the history of the religion that worships the Great Old Ones. When the being that Rebecca suspected of roaming the halls makes its presence known by murdering and munching on one of the party goers, her visions start to indicate that this castle was meant to serve as a point for the old ones to return.
This remake of the Stuart Gordon classic is interesting for deciding to lean in on the Lovecraftian elements associated with his films. Special effects master Tate Steinsiek's "Castle Freak" is a nice homage that stands on its own, but definitely feels like it only has the quality of a made-for-video feature. Throwing in tentacles does not equal the charm of fine character actors who made something out of the simple Charles Band premise of, "There is a castle and a freak."
Kathy Charles's script decides the only way to make this feature worthwhile was to create a larger world from this simple premise. Without that because the characters outside of the primary relationship just being standard horror-victim tropes, this film would just be a waste of an idea. I do not know if this wider HP Lovecraft franchise can work, but it definitely demands my attention.
There are no good performances outside of Clair Catherine's Rebecca, so the feature needs to be more than just graphic violence. If the film had any star power, it could have worked as a tribute to Gordon. The elements of Lovecraft's "Dunwich Horror" makes you think past the bad acting and appreciate the gory demises of it. Unfortunately, all these new element to the story can make you lose track of what is happening.
There is definitely 10 minutes of the film that are unnecessary. Outside of the nightmarish imagery, it is a slow build to the chaos we came for. When you think back to all of Gordon's Lovecraftian adaptations, constant mayhem is expected, so this adaptation misses the point. Subtlety is not something we want from HP's horrific worlds.
What really hurts this take on "Castle Freak" is that it is shot in 16:9, but fails to capture the vastness of Gordon's movie that was shot in 4:3. The feature feels overly narrow. With the exception of a few attacks by the freak, even the violence seems squished in the frame.
And for a feature that is a slow build, there is never a sense of menace when it comes to the attacker. There are some violent scenes that at least tells us the writer and director know what is expected from this film. But without a genuine sense of dread from the freak, the violence does not pack the same punch.
"Castle Freak 2020" is "Castle Freak 1995" light at best. It offers the audience something new, but lacks the quality to totally get the fans of the original behind it. The Lovecraft franchise Shudder hopes to create has promise, but without great actors and fine directors, the next feature will be a waste of time. That is not the promise we are hoping for.
@twisted_twins is a Twitter account that I hope Shudder is considering sending a DM to.
Medical appointments have passed, but with a one month follow up scheduled. Yes, I am still stressed about that. And yes, I am too honest to just cancel an appointment because it would not work with my schedule and wait till my next health scare.
Any other stress is probably undue bullshit. The Snapchat girl is sending mixed messages, going from work focus to "why can't a man satisfy me?" mode. Why do you not tell me to get over there and take care of you?
To make matters work, I at least got girls talking on three other platforms. This leaves me with three other conversations to worry about. Should I message them just to make sure they know I am still interested? Did I cross the line with some political commentary? Do they only chat from nine to five?
And there are of course the blog posts that I need to all have prepared before my vacation. Because I got to justify my Netflix DVD subscription, my most recent disc had to get back to Carol Stream before the next billing period. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" is next up which is good because I got to slow down my output for NinetyForChill.com. But until we get to the way I should be handling my Terry Gilliam collection (To my credit, my copies of "Brazil" and "12 Monkeys" were both purchased at heavily discounted prices.), we must tread through another post 2015 action movie starring Sylvester Stallone.
"Escape Plan" was an amusing enough movie that may have taken itself a little too seriously. With two sequels being shot back-to-back, one would suspect any other franchise to be taking itself way too seriously. Fortunately, when you realize these flicks are solely for the Chinese mainland (Free Hong Kong!), it is easy enough to relax and enjoy "Escape Plan 2: Hades" for the braid dead trash that I hoped "Rambo: Last Blood" would have been.
Escape Plan 2: Hades (2018, 1 hour 36 minutes)
Breslin Security has expanded from prison breaks to encompass rescue missions. With Ray Breslin tired of doing the physical work required in testing the effectiveness of prison security, Shu serves as his top agent. Unfortunately, the last bout with terrorists only allowed for half the assets to make it back home. If fellow agent Kimbral had skipped trying to further promote Breslin by blowing up the terrorists' weapons cache and arrived at the rendezvous on time, the results would probably have been different.
Ray fires Kimbral and puts Shu on leave to work on his team leadership skills. Shu decides to head back to Shanghai to visit his family, and make sure nothing happens to his satellite genius cousin, Yusheng, at a Bangkok bachelor party. At least being at his cousin's side means he will not have be alone when they are kidnapped to soon awake in a black op prison site called H.A.D.E.S.
The Zookeeper has been hired by a Swiss competitor to Yusheng. Shu and his cousin are there to be tortured until they give up the patent information for Yusheng's new satellite communication technology. HADES is far more complex than the last prison Ray broke out of and with the Zookeeper having inmates fight for luxuries, how long can our protagonists last?
We know Ray is going to do anything he can to get Shu out, including recruiting the towering DeRosa to give them some extra firepower, but will not make a move until he is certain of success. It is all a matter of figuring out the location and layout of the prison. Time is one thing Shu has and with Kimbral being a fellow inmate, what he has learned from Ray gives him all he needs to win the day. But after all the damage that Breslin has done to the private prison industry, things seem far too easy.
"Escape Plan 2: Hades" starts out like any silly 80's action movie, but it makes a sudden turn to attempt and capture "The Matrix" cool aesthetic that exposes all of its weaknesses. It is kind of like "Tron" without the teleporting laser and smooth incorporation of effects. With punching and kicking being your primary means of action, our characters are not in the right movie. Especially Stallone who I do not believe knows how to kick.
I suppose the concept of a computer controlled prison allows for twists to constantly occur, but the narrative is far too predicable. The idea is to make the audience to try and figure out the puzzle as they go along. Its mistake is the constant twists to mock us just when the nerds develop a theory on how the protagonist can escape. This leads the audience to just quit caring, so only the stupidity of villain(s) can the film get them reinvested. That is a whole lot of stupid.
Director Steven C. Miller is accustomed to making stupid films. He directed a fun remake of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" ("Silent Night), but that film featured a script that does not necessarily make sense as it works to a big reveal. What made the film fun was a cast of screen chewers and shocking violence. The film chewer in "Escape Plan 2" is Stallone who is essentially there only for his brand value. He is not the lead, so he cannot chew the fat off of this film.
As for the violence, you get one great fight scene, otherwise the film is too quick to resolve its scenes. This leaves the flick with nothing for Miller to catch and over expose. If it left us with graphic scenes to linger on, it would play towards Miller's strengths. It also lacks a sense of humor or clever wit that can save an action movie. All of that is reserved for Dave Bautista's screen time. Since the third film in the franchise also features him, you have to admire the writer, Miles Chapman, doing the bare minimum to leave the audience wanting more.
"Escape Plan 2: Hades" might have figured out how to make a Chinese-funded trilogy work, leaving the audience just interested enough for a third film. In this case, I think this interest stems from wanting justification for putting up with a quickly produced sequel that lacks heart. It has some fun moments, but it also wants to prove itself smarter than its audience.
"HADES" might show up the audience with its twists to indicate intelligence, but it does not change the fact that it is built on a metaphoric swamp. How smart can you be if you are still sinking? Hopefully the wreckage of this castle will be enough to serve as a sturdy base for "Escape Plan: The Extractors".
Cool Movies Darthand Michael Dubois resume their conversation about one of the most impactful children features in their lives, "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory". The two discuss the charms of Gene Wilder that Johnny Depp could only wish for, and how they may allow a real megalomaniacal chocolatier to get away with the crimes against humanity that Roald Dahl's most famous character commits.
Picking up where they left of, the two discuss how all the kids were suckers for pursuing Slugworth's request to leave the factory with an Everlasting Gobstopper. Michael hopes this portion of the Dahl universe is murder free. Mr. Fox was risking his life, so CM Darth thinks Slugworth would pay the Iron Price to cover his tracks. Slitting children throats is something they would do on Pyke.
When it comes to CM Darth's darker takes on the film, they maybe related to his rewatch being sweet free. He developed a sense of jealousy toward the five children and the candy that they had access to. It is ironic because his obsessive compulsive tendencies would have left him too creeped out to continue the tour. The boat ride would not bug him, but a dozen people just feeding themselves cream from their bare hands. Gross.
The best thing about "Willy Wonka" is not the subliminal diabetes. It is Gene Wilder. Darth and Michael discuss that Wilder was casts to be himself. This leads to a criticism of Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory" from the host. Depp is not bad, but if Depp is cast in something, we might just want to see him be Depp.
Wilder did not turn himself into a character to portray the chocolate magnate. He is believable with his own voice and mannerisms. His character and dialogue is kooky enough. All he needed to do was deliver it well, and the audience leaves happy. Just like his role in Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask."
This is where a content warning maybe needed. Darth discusses his admiration for the content Woody Allen has directed while resisting calling him a total monster. Our host may come off as a demon after he slips the M-word when discussing the Oompa Loompas. There is no malicious intent, and it leads to a fun conversation of dwarves versus elves. When little people have two (three if you include hobbits) Middle Earth races to choose as their preferred noun, why dwarves?
At least they did not look towards a galaxy far, far away when it came to races to name their condition. Then again, after "The Book of Boba Fett", finding out Jawas are furry, the practicality of using the J-word just is not there.
The two being nerds leads to some "Star Wars" comparisons. Charlie seemingly having a pure heart definitely provides the audience with Christ-like vibes. Who needs Jesus when you have George Lucas?
If Charlie is the chosen one, he is essentially Anakin Skywalker. A child running a chocolate factory is scary, but the naïve nature of Charlie implies he will cause no one harm. This maybe something that can be said of young Skywalker, but once he started thinking with his dick, all was lost. Will Charlie need to be celibate for the sake of the Oompa Loompas?
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
How do I put the façade of giving a shit about the holidays for a living? I guess 17 years in the customer service field has just wired me that way. What other things will I do for money? I am open to suggestions. The life experience I have makes the range of options pretty vast, at least known.
As a typed all that, the solution to why I put up with replying "Merry Christmas" to the constituents of the traitorous Rodney Davis could be a passive aggressive outlet of cursing the season to my non-furry loved one. Perhaps I should turn this into a pro-atheist rant.
Jesus sucks the life out of you under false pretenses. Take it back. The worst that could happen is Satan will accept you. Have you seen or read "Lucifer"?
Since I am letting my better quarter (Eva the Cat still gets a half) use the kitchen to bake and inevitably leave a mess for me to clean, buying a video game on sale is a deserved treat. And "Star Wars" has given me inspiration for another blog post. It was going to be featured in this one, but after my holiday disparagement opening, the post would be too long. If I do not post about my experience watching "Dr. Chopper", what was the point of it?
Really, what was the point of "Dr. Chopper" existing?
In the late 1980's, premier plastic surgeon and custom-motorcycle enthusiast Dr. Fielding went off the deep end in his search for immortality. Instead of modifying bodies to extend life, he decided to just take the best parts off healthy persons.
With a little surgical wizardry, he would replace his decrepit body parts with the parts he swiped. He thought this would allow him to live forever. Once the authorities caught wind of this, the man who became better known as Dr. Chopper vanished without a trace. But over the next 20 years, Lake Tatonka has been littered with loose body parts.
It seems law enforcement had deemed that the responsibility solving the case belongs to drunk and suicidal Forest Ranger Terrell to figure out. Hopefully, he can do that before Nick and his fiancé Jessica take their friends up to check out the cabin his late mother had left him.
Hopes that "Dr. Chopper" might be a good B-movie diminished when it was obvious that this was a direct from VHS tape transfer to the DVD format. If that seems nonsensical, let me rephrase it this way. York Entertainment produced all the VHS copies of this video, and then they connected a VHS player via composite cables to a DVD recorder to create a master DVD to distribute. I had put just as much, if not more, in creating bootlegs to tape-trade at indie wrestling shows.
Sorry to point out the boredom. That is a bit of a spoiler because the trailer for a similar York Entertainment film, "Corpses" with Jeff Fahey, seemed to have some potential. The physical picture sucked, but it does not mean that the script and acting would be devoid of charm. Even the credits being just VHS-C font (made famous by "America's Funniest Home Vides") on a black screen could not take that potential away.
The brief, nudity-free lesbian scene in an actual trailer does that.
Once we start the murder spree, you find yourself watching the least effort that you will ever see in a B-movie. Somewhat successful actors like Costas Mandylor ("Picket Fences", "Saw (3-7)") and Chelsey Crisp ("Fresh of the Boat", regular TV guest star) at least show that they can act, but the lack of creative kills, special effects that are nothing more than moist Halloween decorations, and an overall lack of direction makes me certain that the chopper was where all the budget went.
The story feels like it was a poorly constructed one act play. Ironically, a high school stage is where the climax occurs. My biggest issue with adaptations of plays to screen is that the dialogue tends to be structured to be heard with no interruption. Adaptations can work, but the story or the dialogue has to be interesting. This is not "The Philadelphia Story".
If you had some humorous dialogue and interesting murders, you might have a precursor to "Evil Dead: The Musical". You cannot sell an audience people getting stabbed with no fighting back. Shakespeare would throw poison in to mix things up, Sondheim was a genius, and who does not like man-eating plants. If there was one of these things, I may be sympathetic to "Dr. Chopper". Then I would think about how many bad Costas Mandylor films I have seen.
Mandylor can be a solid character actor, but features never seem to write him that way. I did not mind him as the second Jigsaw, and I cannot say I minded him in the live-action remake of "Fist of the North Star". I am a fan of the "Saw" franchise and will give any Gary Daniels movie a chance. But after sitting through this and "Immortally Yours" (aka "Kiss of the Vampire"), he is just an actor who has no discern for work.
There was at least one name attached with the production of "Immortally Yours" and "Dr. Chopper". Since the production values are damn near the exact same, this indicates that Mandylor does not mind doing shit films. Michael Caine may bad movies, but at least Universal went to the trouble of bringing in as much sea water as possible to the set of "Jaws: The Revenge" to make the feature look authentic. Caine at least requires you to make an effort.
"Dr. Chopper" makes me curse the backwards compatibility of all Blu-ray players. You cannot always count on streaming. Once my VHS player dies, I cannot watch a physical copy of the Sony Distributed Gary Daniels classic "Heatseeker", but DVD.com will have no issue sending me a copy of this piece of garbage. Does that seem right to you (provided you know your opinions of Albert Pyun films do not matter)?
Just because your movie has no production values does not mean you are excused from exerting effort when you film it. "Dr. Chopper" should be watched by the director Lewis Schoenbrun friends and family only. He made a thing that is worth being put on the fridge for a week and then forgotten. This is nothing more than a macaroni painting wanting to be a film. That tells me the world has too much pasta (and they won't share it with me).
Episode 58: @GentlethemE & The Willy Wonka Empire (Free the Oompa Loompas).
NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast is starting Michael Dubois's proposed Gene Wilder trilogy by discussing his favorite movie of all time, "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory". At least, it was coming into these recordings. Can two ultra-left anti-capitalists watch a feature about the Howard Hughes of chocolatiers and leave with the same respect that they had for this feature as children?
Because of the politics of the guest and host, it does take a little time to get to the feature. The capitalist elements lead them to think about the assholes who praise the fouled up concept. A discussion ensues about Cool Movie Darth's Twitter beefs with conservatives trolls and those who are supplying the Freedom Convoys. It sounds awful, but at least the first set of selfish morons trying to suffocate the vaccinated with diesel fumes were Canadians.
Canadian conservatives lack compassion, but are not too difficult to deal with on Twitter. They still maintain their politeness. You just cannot be too angry at Canucks.
It takes the two about 20 minutes to get back to the focus of the episode. CM Darth cannot help but chat about the more woke wrestling of AEW. This stems from the two talking about the media they watched growing up and the similarities they shared. "Willy Wonka" is a trip to more innocent times, and the two focus of them.
Cool Movies Darth had three primary VHS tapes growing up (five since he obviously wore out all of the original "Star Wars Trilogy"). They were "Star Wars", "Flash Gordon", and "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory". In contrast, Michael had three tapes as well. These cassettes were "Grease 2", "Titanic", and the forgotten "Chances Are". With a forgotten status, obviously the two went on a tangent exploring the Robert Downey Jr. feature about reincarnation-based, PG-13 incest.
The two obviously love Gene Wilder movies. Current plans for the podcast are to schedule an episode devoted to Mel Brook's debut film "The Producers". That is a film that Michael has yet to see, but he had seen the musical version. He is a big fan of the soundtrack and offers an awkward story of driving an Uber with a Jewish patron and a car stereo set on random.
This a good transition to the elements of "Willy Wonka" that no longer sit well. They had their suspicions of why Bill the Candyman is just giving his stock away and whether or not Charlie ever considered wankering to be a Wonkaer. A weird tribute to Bob Saget comes from these observations. CM Darth also pitches "The Little Girl Who Lived Down the Lane" because of this scene.
Other ideas we question from this feature are how all movies seem to hate math (except those from James Gunn), how did Wonka keep his factory secure over the past 20 years (was it Tardis puzzles or Jigsaw inspirations), and of course, Roald Dahl's hatred towards children. The two do admire how this initial financial failure did lay the groundwork for matter of fact comedies of the 1980's and how Dahl could figure out away to adapt such an absurd book. Michael leaves needing to see "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory" which maybe what the author may have intended.
Outside of this "Wonka" inspired conversation, Cool Movies Darth discusses his awkward birthday week (How do you unmatch a guy you ask to get a hold of you on Tinder after he makes a half-hour drive before he can even get home?) and returns to Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Revue. This week, he watched John Leguizamo's "Empire". Be it heroin or chocolate, this episode focuses on addiction and the pain it causes. If only capitalism was gone, there would be no reason for these pushers.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
It was the start of a new month at the bank yesterday, so I had my hands full with monthly tasks. Catching up on all the news websites did not occur, but there really is not much news, so at least I am not too far behind. The holding pattern and perhaps this unlikely democracy ends tonight, so at least I do not need to worry about having the time to fill with new content.
A negative result to the election would be a Catch 22 for this creative sole. If we fall into a dictatorship, cutting myself off from media means more writing. Of course, I can only talk about so many movies and so much wrestling.
I guess I am just in an existential conundrum. It is a chaotic time and I start to think about all the consequences this election will have. This leads me to worry about the worst and what should be done to resolve it. There are hopes that someone wiser takes this decision away from us Americans.
That was suppose to be a transition to my review of the theatrical adaptation of "Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons", but it looks like I am just being Anakin Skywalker emo in the fields of Naboo, calling on someone wise to rule. The depression must be real.
To my credit, I am just asking for someone to end the corruption, not necessarily rule. At least this "Deathstroke" feature has a protagonist wise enough to know he cannot take power when he shakes up a government. Too bad I am left with more dread from the "Teen Titans Go!" interpretation of this character.
"Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons: The Movie"
Slade Wilson is a loving family man. He has been happily married to his wife Adeline and they have a son Joseph who is fascinated by the world of legend from the books his father reads to him. Joseph sees his father as a knight saving the world from the evils that exist. This perception could not be further from the truth.
Wilson is also the mercenary Deathstroke. He is the product of an army medical testing to create a means to make their soldiers heal faster. The military along with his wife thought these experiments failed, so this allows Wilson and his former MI6 handler, Wintergreen, sell this one man army's services to the highest bidder. Whoever wins the auction best be aware though, Deathstroke will provide them only if you are worthy enough.
The Hive, a collective of amoral assassins, know they are not worthy of Wilson's services, but they still want the best on their team. Led by the Jackal, they decide that surely Wilson will trade his independence for his sons life. They soon find out not to underestimate his abilities as he leaves only one of his son's captors alive. Ironically, this ordeal exposes his double life, so Adeline leaves him and decides to send Joseph, now mute, to Swiss boarding school to protect him.
10 years later, Wilson receive a communication from the Hive Queen. It turns out that the organization has rebuilt itself and has ambitions of world domination. These ambitions again involve his son, whom they have discovered has telekinetic and telepathic powers. The Queen claims, if Deathstroke is a handgun, the newly christened Jericho is a nuclear bomb. Both Wilsons will have to come together to not only save their son, but the world.
"Deathstroke: Knights and Dragons: The Movie" has some fun moments, but as a fan of DC media, accepting a heroic take on "The Terminator" is difficult. This feature is the final product of what was to be a 12-episode digital series, and the inconsistency of the production make that more than evident. It is not necessarily bad, but it is an unquestionable misfire.
Titmouse, the studio I know best for "Metalocalypse" and "Superjail!" (Yes, "The Venture Bros." too, but the "chirp" logo does not stand out as much as it does with their 11-minute productions of pure insanity.) was behind this production. It appears they were trying to capture a middle ground visually between the more hand-drawn look of "The Venture Bros" and the flash-based look of their more experimental shorts. It just does not end up fitting well together. Like the the story.
This project was originally intended to 12 30-minute episodes leads to a lot of edits that result in pacing that goes from slow to panicked in a breath. As a result, the plot becomes overly ambitious for the runtime. You can either have an origin tale, or the end of the world. You cannot have both.
Nothing outside the script and animation is overly impressive. I like the casting of go to black Englishman Colin Salmon as Wintergreen/Black Alfred, but none of the actors really stand out. "The Shield" is a show I might need to watch to appreciate Michael Chiklis as the lead. Until then, his "Robot Chicken" appearances have landed better with me.
And I could not get over this heroic light they place on Deathstroke. It is inconsistent with everything I have seen. Granted, his origin tale is foreign to me, but when you lose an eye to Damian Wayne in "Son of Batman", it is difficult to be sold on you as noble. They try to balance this hero persona with the graphic means of dispatching henchmen, but when that is only 20-minutes of content, the rest of his actions make him seem dull and incapable of harassing the Teen Titans.
Deathstroke may deserve his own product, but like the Joker, he does not deserve a redemption tale. Because of this, I wonder how "Deathstroke: Knights & Demons" made it out of the development stages. If the production was solid, it could have saved this feature from being weak, but it does not change the fact that it was a bad idea to begin with.
