NinetyForChill dot Com: The Podcast - Episode 3: @Quidpro_Joe and Jigsaw Games

 Films Researched for this Episode: Dark Star (1974), Saw (2004), Saw II (2005), Saw III (2006), Saw IV (2007), Saw V (2008), Saw VI (2009), Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010), Jigsaw (2017), and Hellboy (2019).

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 3: @Quidpro_Joe and Jigsaw Games

 

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"Sometimes I even amaze myself."

Imagine if that franchise could have had a flick that was under 97 minutes long. As I write that, I realize how that explains the confusion in the series's use of parsec. Distance. Time. Both of their measurements are length.

At this point, the only "Star Wars" feature that would qualify for NinetyForChill.com - The Website (or the Blogger since I am taking a few shortcuts despite my Web-Designer Certification) is 2008's animated feature "The Clone Wars". IMDb says it clocks in at 1 hour 38 minutes, but I will bet a digit or my left ball ("That it ain't no good until the good are appalled". I cannot resist a Supersuckers reference.) that the length will be rounded down on the DVD box.

Perhaps a podcast for a later date should be about cinematic features for animated TV shows. Is "DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp" on Disney+? It has always been tempting to just grab a copy from my retailer since Disney is not overly proud of that one (Just like the mid 80's films, the way they treat pre-renascence is criminal).

As much as I would love to talk about Ziro the Hutt and Stinky the Huttlet, that is not what I and Joe Golwitzer (@quidpro_joe on Twitter and Instagram) chatted about yesterday.

 

Buzzfeed - 19 Movies That Would Be Hilarious Backwards

 

The "Saw" Franchise

Joe use to be my manager at the retailer I work at, and thanks to Amazon, we probably had more times than we should to talk about movies. He is a fan of cinema who is doing his damnedest to own and/or watch all of the Best Picture Academy Award winners, so his taste in features maybe considered better than mine or he is more dedicated to becoming a more respectable cinephile than I. He is quite the respectful horror movie fan with "Halloween" being introduction to horror and he had recently seen and loved "The Thing". This lead to our original intention to do a podcast about John Carpenter's sub 99-minute movies.

I decided for the sake of the podcast and my guests not being nearly as anal as I to up the NinetyForChill.com ceiling to 1 hour 39 minutes. This only applies to the podcast.

When it comes to 99-minute Carpenter, Joe realized that he was not as verse in that filmography as I was. So we decided to go with the second suggestion that I offered which was the "Saw" franchise, the sequels more specifically. Only "Saw III" runs too long for the pod's parameters, but with that being my least favorite, I figured it would not get too much love.

We still swoon over Carpenter, which makes my late Saturday viewing of "Dark Star" and related drunkenness worthwhile, and work in the issues with how computer generated gore simply will not do. It allows us to transition to some David Cronenberg chat and my pitch for Jeff Goldblum to be the next Jigsaw apprentice. 

With the original feature being released at the peak of "The Boondock Saints" fandom, we do reminisce about how that has aged poorly. We also discuss the need for these frequent sequel franchises. I also slip in a visceral "Castle Freak" review and tell the audience from "Jurassic Jeff Jezebel Owes Me Eight Bucks" how my experience with Neil Marshall's "Hellboy" turned out.

We are both big fans of the last great horror franchise and we are happy to do all the excess thinking that the "Saw" audience should avoid. Hope you enjoy.

90 Min. Netflix DVD - "Castle Freak" - All the Gore with Fewer Bodies

  *Blog post started on January 22, 2021.

It is a good thing that I have started "NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast" because I have blown my annual resolution of eating something with Buffalo seasoning everyday. The main issue with this is that it throws off my diet. I did not buy much food because I would need to eat out every other day to make it work.

Without the resolution, I come home and want to make food because the fictional rule has been abolished. This is really just an issue on Thursdays and Fridays, the days that AEW does not offer content. My apologies for not finding "A Shot of Brandy" to be must watch content. When I leave work at 6:15 pm, there is not really a lot of time to prepare food in time to watch wrestling. Those are good times for Glucerna and cereal.

Thursday's trouble is that I do not have that wrestling to discourage cooking. On top of that, ramen is my Wednesday lunch because I have made it a tradition to watch AEW Dynamite with Buffalo wings as my meal. This means I am eating out during lunch and then making something fatty that night because what else am I going to do with that night? If you miss out on playing video games for a couple of weeks due to podcast work, remembering that they are available can be troublesome.

Friday's dilemma is that I usually need to take longer lunches to ensure that I am not getting overtime. The flexibility of the new part-time crews schedule prevents leaving early on that day to remedy that. Of course you should expect me to be out and about for those 70 minutes. Errands prevent me from sitting around for a half hour. Watching Smackdown (I should just say supporting the WWE), is not a priority, so the wrestling programming does not inspire me to sit in front of the TV.

I think all of my readers realize I am just bullshitting here. It is fair for them to expect me to have at least a dozen wrestling DVD's (more than likely a score) to watch and with the New Japan Pro-Wrestling World, I could just make myself a wrestling schedule. If anything, I am showing my age by wanting appointment TV. The point is, I need something to do, so I eat. The real issue that I have is that I can handle nearly any kind of body horror, so my late night movies will not allow me to purge my previous sins.

Stuart Gordon could be waistline savior for those who have a weaker stomach. Maybe after seeing a hole carved out of my wrist with pins sticking out of it (WRESTLING! YAY!!!), I can take about anything visually. Perhaps I need to rent some more French Extremism to shake this invulnerability, or I just need to stop cheering for directors to go for the bad taste reactions. Being a direct-to-video feature, "Castle Freaks" is a limited experience for fans of "Re-nimator" and "From Beyond", but makes sure to give the audience the shocks that you expect and push the boundaries of what they are allowed to enjoy. That does not necessarily mean the feature has is good, but if cat and boob mutilation perk your ears up, this film may be worth a view.

Castle Freak (1995, 1 hour 35 minutes).

The Riley family has fallen on hard times. It has been nine months since the patriarch, John, was drunk behind the wheel and was involved in an accident that took his five year-old son's life and blinded his 16 year-old daughter Rebecca. They may have gotten a break when they are informed that they had just inherited a castle in Italy.

Of course, this castle is considered haunted. The duchess who lived their never left the premises after her five year-old son died. This was shortly after John's father left her and returned to the United States with her younger sister. Stories of wailing at night that can be heard through the castle halls do not help the properties reputation.

John does not plan to relocate to Italy, he is just looking to liquidate the assets. The simplicity of this task is quickly lost after Rebecca wonders off during his inventory to follow a cat into the dungeon and crypt. Believing she heard someone, her investigation inadvertently unleashes the Castle Freak.

The home is quickly cursed by strange occurrences mainly centering around Rebecca. John's overbearing wife believes her daughter has an overly active imagination, but as John investigates these happenings, he starts to unravel a dark tale about his parentage and how the duchess's son never died even presuming that she kept him alive to torture the past 40 years. One can only imagine the anger and vengeance that seethe in the mind of this newly freed monster. 

The title delivers exactly what it promises. "Castle Freak's" story really expounds upon the simple premise and is a classic in terms of body horror and the family-related horror that is becoming the current rage in cinema. Like the Italian horror legends, Stuart Gordon captures everything he wants you to see despite the 4:3 aspect ratio.

It is difficult to pin down anything this film does wrong. This is not high art nor is it cinema with a capital C. This feature is a solid, brief story which does harken back to the concepts of H.P. Lovecraft. Lovecraft would give you a scenario and left the story to the audience's imagination. "Castle Freak" is not a Lovecraft adaptation like his two undeniable classics, but Gordon flushed this out from only seeing a poster in the producer's office (that producer being Charles Band of "Arena" fame). He saw a freak locked in a dungeon, and created a marvelous narrative.

The film benefits from the established chemistry between the lead actors, Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton (who were also leads in the classics) and I think it is a shame that this is the last performance of Jessica Dollarhide who portrays the confident and caring Rebecca. You may complain about the Italian cast being there solely to become corpses, but that means no chemistry required. This is how no budget cinema thrives.

The most intriguing chemistry may come from how the Freak interacts with the starring cast. This maybe more of a story element, but from the beginning of the feature, you know the Freak has a reason for his actions. What is most important is the Freak trying to be human. It never works out, but he is not entirely evil.

He is definitely somewhat evil. I know why the cat has an awful fate, but killing our mewing masters will always tick me off. At least Dario Argento gives the felines vengeance.

If mutilated pets is not going to upset you, the Freak actions might. This feature likes to mix all kinds of vices, and the mixture is always messy. It may come off at chauvinistic, but I do not think you can argue the realism of the monster's actions. This would just be a French monster story that can be romanticized without them. Renting this title must mean you are here for the horrific. Do not complain about it.

"Castle Freak" is a horror movie for fans of the genre. Those who do not like graphic and nearly unthinkable violence need not view. That is sad because it is a brilliant take on stories like the Hunchback and the Phantom. Stuart Gordan could take any classic story premise and flush it out into something all his own.

This is a display of gore horror fans want without any unnecessary narrative to endure. "Castle Freak" is a classic from a horror master that fans of the genre owe to themselves to view.

Pinterest - Kev @cultmem

Inferno - Witches and the Sweet Vengeance for Drowned Cats

 

The film that is about to be reviewed is 1 hour and 46 minutes long. It is being featured because it is the first sequel to one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Dario Argento's "Suspiria" (Luca Guadagnino's 2018's re-imagining of this film is worthwhile as well). As I established in my blog, "Kickboxer: Retaliation" How to Warrant 110 Minutes and I, the Retarded Garland", a sequel can deserve more time than its predecessor because we want the previous world to be expanded. This is a far better example of the concept than the "Kickboxer" franchise. With that said, I am still shivering in anticipation for the conclusion to the latest Kurt Sloane trilogy.

European directors tend to want to capture everything on film. Many times, they shoot to the point of boredom. Francois Truffaut's "The 400 Blows" is beautiful, but it takes forever to get going. Nothing of notes happens in that film's first half. It is like watching a Monet dry. We appreciate it, but we want to load it on the truck now.

Italian horror and its godfather Dario Argento (perhaps the most subtle of the genre's directors) have similar tendencies. Argento is in love with his vision (He is never afraid to tell critics and actors that.), but the stories he offers to express it can be hit or miss. Fortunately, he would rather show a gimp being eaten by rats than a child on a carnival ride playing hooky. If only Truffaut would have had the child ground in the centrifuge's gears.

"Inferno" is the story of the youngest and cruelest of the three mothers, Mater Tenebrarum (Mother of Darkness). Rose is a poet that lives in an old building in New York whom, after reading the book "The Three Mothers", suspects she is living in that witch's home. She puts it upon herself to explore the building's basement where she finds an underwater ballroom with a corpse floating around in it. This leaves her desperate for her brother Mark to return from Rome to help unravel the mystery.

Unbeknownst to Rose, Mark is dealing the mystery that is Mater Lachrymarum (Mother of Tears) the most beautiful and powerful of the mothers. After receiving the letter from his sister, he seems to be stalked by that witch, and his friend are becoming her latest victims.

Can these modern siblings solve the mystery behind these grisly occurrences, or are they going to be additional casualties to the ancient sisters' evil ways?

"Inferno" does not offer much when it comes to story. The tale establishes that all the characters are seen as disposable, so we will wait around to see who makes it out alive. Any other narrative shortcomings are conquered by Argento's directorial style, and his efforts in creating beautiful and nightmarish visuals are remarkable.

The submerged ballroom (His homage to his once one of a kind classic "Suspiria's" use of bright and limited primary colors) and effects inspired by Mario Bava, justify filming the entire feature in Rome. This effort is as valid as Jeff Bridges's performance being the only reason to see "Crazy Heart". Talent can conquer almost any limitations.

If there is a genuine reason to be disappointed, it is that it may not be shocking enough when it is compared to other Italian horror legends like Lucio Fulci. There are no victims who fight back, and little worthwhile gore. It is artistic, but not disgusting.

This is an Italian film. We deserve at least an image that reminds us of "Zombi 2". It must be why "Mother of Tears" was so over the top. Argento was apologizing for the lack of nightmare future in that film's predecessors.

If you are a fan of sheer directorial talent, Dario Argento's "Inferno" is a prime example of what can be done with only a premise. Argento is a demanding auteur who may have been a generation too old to serve as an ideal music video director. If only he could have got into that realm of film making if only to bury Russell Mulcahy in the sands that his feature find so necessary to feature.

2.bp.blogspot.com

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast - Episode 2: Jurassic Jeff Jezebel Owes Me Eight Bucks

Films Researched for this Podcast: The Fly (1986), Shooting Elizabeth (1992), Mad Dog Time (1996), and The Great White Hype (1996).

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 2: Jurassic Jeff Jezebel Owes Me Eight Bucks

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My only frustration about the finished product this week is that I cannot figure out how Skimbleshanks managed to get a picture that was easier to edit with Snapchat (@catbusruss) than my queen kitty Evangeline. My best offerings never seem to get the respect that they truly deserve. Should I really be selling that chip on my shoulder?

Judging that I decided to promote my Letterboxd account on this edition of "NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast", perhaps. My handle on that site is cmdarth, so despite the focus on the world of sub 97-minute features, the wrestling businesses always seeps in. I may need to a CM Punk and Soska Sisters' combination podcast. After the Colt Cabana drama, someone should take his initials away. If CM Venom is not going to step up...

To Punk's credit, he knows how long a movie's runtime should be. His 2019 starring roles both fit into the NinetyForChill.com time standards. I guess I still cannot help but to admire him. But he is not what professional wrestling needs right now. What it needs is a "No Holds Barred" remake with Jurassic Jeff Goldblum.

This week, I chat with my older sister ThePoeticCritic to talk about her favorite (living) actor, Jeff Goldblum and his features that range from 91 to 96 minutes. Her immense knowledge and research (Thanks Mike and Mike at "Now and Then Movie Podcast") allowed her to give me a lot of incite into the story of one of the best character actors of the past 45 years. She also explains why half of my four-day Goldblum binge required some means of chemical escape.

Tje features that are discussed in depth on this podcast are the David Cronenberg classic "The Fly", Larry Bishop's mess of a debut feature "Mad Dog Time", "Shooting Elizabeth" from his European excursions, and "The Great White Hype" a funny fighting film featuring the fresh from "Pulp Fiction" Samuel L. Jackson. ThePoeticCritic also provides opinions about every other Goldblum feature that qualify for the NinetyForChill.com standards.

We also discuss the idea of raising the ceiling of 97 minutes to 99 minutes. I have made it clear that a three-figure film length will not be considered. A little editing never hurts.

Then again, a little editing is what "ThePoeticCritic" might ask for when it comes to a joke about David Cronenberg's role as Geena Davis's gynecologists in "The Fly". It may also apply to my reminiscing about Stuart Gordon's "Robot Jox", a film that places Michael Bays attempts at robotic comedy to shame.

And as always, I do take the time to mention the feature I have been trying to get out of development hell "Main Event off the Dead" a no to low-budget flick about indie wrestlers versus 80's gimmicked zombies. If you want a treatment or have any pointers on how to pull it out of development hell, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Who Wore It Better - https://ifunny.co/

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast - Episode 1: Ally's Abbreviated Anime Adventure

Films Researched for this Episode: My Neighbor Totoro (1988), Porco Rosso (1992), The Cat Returns (2002), and "The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2006)

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 1: Ally's Abbreviated Anime Adventure

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It looks like we have made it. My Blue Snowball microphone, a Zoom meeting room, and Audacity open source, cross-platform audio editor has allowed me to produce my first true podcast. If anyone is interested, I do have an old assignment from a 2009 ICC mass media class that elaborates on my liberal leanings and how they are necessary for colleges to truly benefit their students, but I do not know if you want to perceive me as even being more pretentious.

Ally Higgins from AllysAccessoriesShop comes on and does her best to express her affection for anime, an animation style she was introduced to during our three and three-quarter year long relationship. We started with Studio Ghibli's classics like "My Neighbor Totoro", "Porco Rosso", and "The Cat Returns" and move on to the flicks where they just drew too many pictures. Makoto Shinkai's latest releases get some love and we find out Ally's surprising love for Mamoro Hosoda's library.

Studio Ghibli 10 best Studio Ghibli films - TimeOut

Please pardon our little asides about her recent COVID-19 related quarantine, the discovery that her current significant other is a mark, the brawls between my cat Eva and her cat/my roommate Skimble, and the influences of the podcasts "ID10T" [A Christopher Columbus rant (the director/writer/producer, not the genocidal moron)] and "Marty and Sarah Love Wrestling".

What can I say except to those podcasts' pets, "What you gonna do when Eva and Skim run wild on you?" It is not a threat. The furry ones and I just want to take that over from the Hulkster. I suppose I need to start using "brother" a lot more.

At this time, I am looking for a guest for the next episode, and would love to have the next episode out next Tuesday. Want to talk about sub 97-minute movies? Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Just to cover all legalities, the opinions expressed do not reflect those of Best Buy, Inc.

Grumpy Cat - Image #534,913 - knowyourmeme.com

James Gunn's "Slither" - A Cronenbergian Successor to "Gremlins"

 

 

Racism Can Play in Peoria. What About Your Local Wrestling?

 *Blog post started on November 24, 2020.

I think we will get into the post's movie review rather quickly. Yes, Trump is starting to accept reality, but it has only been a day since I knocked out my review for the tragic misuse of the North American treasure, Keanu Reeves, in "Siberia". If there is a video game titled with the same pronunciation of your movie title (As I verified that on Wikipedia, I found out that "Cyberia" was also the title of a UK-based industrial act called Cubanate. At least one positive came out of that $0.55 rental.), we are not expecting romance to trump the diamond smuggling drama.

It is actually appropriate that I finally opened my first Netflix DVD of the billing cycle, "Slither", because I just got word today of a COVID-19 outbreak at my parents' house. At least Mom (Negative while older sister and Dad are positive.) will appreciate that this feature is from the guy who brought Rocket and Groot to the big screen.

MoviePosters2.com

If I would have gotten the news about yesterday, "Slither" would have been the ideal, ironic distraction. But, it is Tuesday. "AEW Dark" just cannot muster a card up to take the edge off and you know my unwatched movies are all a little too far on the dark side to relax to. Did I enjoy "Slither" enough to purchase it on iTunes (It was $4.99 and yes, it was purchased)?

Slither (2006)

Wheelsy, South Carolina is so busy getting ready for deer hunting season, no one notices a meteorite that crashes in the nearby woods. If there is any noticeable drama, it is the gossip about the relationship between the prettiest biology teacher at the high school, Starla, and her wealthy, older husband, Grant. Sheriff and codependent childhood friend of Starla, Bill suspects and accepts that it is a marriage of convenience, and trusts she made the best decision while he still longs for her.

Unfortunately, if there was any flame, it is waning. Feeling rejected, Grant decides to go out to a bar and flirts with Brenda, a fellow classmate of Starla. They drunkenly end up in the woods. He thinks better of pursuing an affair, and had the perfect way out of the situation. The two have stumbled upon the meteorite, and Grant chooses to investigate the slime that is trailing away from it. In an inebriated state, Grant ends up to close to the larva like organism and is stung. After regaining consciousness, he has only one thing on his mind. Meat.

Beyond Grant's carnivorous obsession, everything seems normal and perhaps better in terms of his marriage. That is until his cravings lead to him skipping out on the Deer Cheer Dance, a celebration to kickoff hunting season. It turns out he skipped out to kidnap and impregnate Brenda with his parasite. When Starla finds him at home after the dance, he is starting to mutate into something alien as well.

Bill is investigating the disappearance of Brenda while Starla is trying to figure out what Grant is hiding. After Grant catches Starla snooping around, he seems intent on killing her, but Bill and his fellow deputies arrive on the scene. Grant transforms into something that is halfway between squid and man and escapes. Three days pass, and there are a lot of dead live stock and pets littering Wheelsy. The impatient mayor and Bill gather a posse to hunt down Grant, but it turns out Grant was laying a trap for them.

When they locate an alive but beyond bloated Brenda, she explodes into thousands of slugs. These slugs enter their victims through the mouth and allow Grant to control them. The town is quickly infected, and wanting to reconcile with his wife, Starla is kidnapped. It is up to Bill and Kylie, a high schooler who seems to have success fighting these slugs off to save the day. Here is hoping a grenade compensated from some passing fishermen will be enough to end this nightmare.

"Slither" is a close to perfect horror comedy for adults. It features the body horror you typically see in David Cronenberg features while always being aware that you may just need to laugh in the face of the ridiculous, no matter how horrific it maybe. In a way, this feature is "Gremlins" without the constraint of a PG rating. The story has a lot of elements that are laid out wonderfully, leading to a roller coaster scream of joy.

With having so much rising action, the audience may get annoyed that there is not gore through out, but the audience is treated to great performances from Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, and Michael Rooker that give you the expectation that when it hits the fan, it must be spectacular. The only annoying thing about any of the acting is that with the exception of Rooker, the southern accents are not to authentic (What is one to expect from a mostly Canadian cast?). But it is a comedy and James Gunn knows that the audience is coming in feeling smarter than his characters, so this serves to let the audience know they are all in on the joke.

Regardless of the jokes, the gore effects and rejection of the boundaries of good taste allows the audience to still be shocked and horrified. The humor allows any audience to stick with it to the end, but the graphic violence makes sure that horror fans are quite appreciated. The finale is a bit overly drawn out, but if you are horror aficionado you will just admire everything Gunn is playing homage to, including his Troma roots.

If you are trying to introduce someone to horror who swears they have a sturdy their stomach is, "Slither" is the perfect flick. The humor will keep any audience involved while shocking non-genre and amusing the gore hounds. It is almost sad that this cannot cause the damage that "Gremlins" did to 80s' kids. I got over that trauma after 30 years.

Philadelphia’s Underappreciated Championship: Disgruntled Real World Champ - Part 2

 

Horror Galore - Pinterest

 

"Sucker Punch": A Shot-on-Video Movie from 2008 and the The Start of 2021

 *Blog post started on January 7, 2021.

So I was angry to the point where I did not feel much like joking. If that shit had to happen, why on my day off? Once AEW concluded, it left me feeling like I had wasted all the time before hand with that frustration. In other words, the pissed off conservative trolls were either too confused or too afraid to acknowledge they have been calling for an insurrection to engage me on Twitter.

Fortunately, gambling is not something that I plan to take up this year. I thought we had a chance for a quiet return to normalcy. Dr. Dre seems to be recovering from the brain aneurysm. Georgia went blue. It seems we just cannot have nice things.

My wishes for things to be quiet were pointless though. If things are quiet, then there is less on the internet for me to read. With less to read, more down time has been established. How do I spend my down time? Writing is the answer of course. When the rational world knows Trump should be removed from office, can I really add to it (beyonds recommending Twitter accounts that should be locked out like their leader's)?

Wrestle Kingdom 5: Night 2 was a solid card, but no surprises except for the promise that Jon Moxley will defend the United States Championship for a third time. Unless NJPW is going to work with AEW, thus allowing KENTA of the Bullet Club to return to Orlando and make a trip up to Jacksonville for the match. I suppose since Moxley is battling a Biz Cliz off shoot, Moxley does not have to look weak in defeat.

I do not want to make this blog (Main Event of the Dead) solely about the wrestling business. This must be an indicator that I should get to work on my next fictional project. If you have any ideas on how to move my pro-wrestling zombie comedy, "Main Event of the Dead", out of development hell or would like a script treatment, feel free to send them to russthebus07@gmail.com. That will at least give me some kind of distraction. It may be hard to write my idea for a television pilot on bank hardware.

Then again the "Main Event of the Dead" treatment I composed for Chicago's best wrestler was compiled on the Mark Twain's concierge computer, so perhaps I need to be daring for the sake of being daring. Of course, if someone from Peoria (or Chicago) were to claim my work, I have the copyright so I will get my pound of flesh. It is a catch 22. Write it on my laptop, neglect my cats for a few evenings, and then secure the copyright despite no one will buy copyrighted material. Write it on bank software but leave a trail for it to be stolen before I can sell it.

It seems theft is what all drama is based upon. The Trump base is trying to steal the election. Jon Moxley wants vengeance against Kenny Omega for stealing the AEW World Championship from him. I want to own my ideas, but you cannot sell intellectual property. If only I could come up with a Danny Ocean style crew to turn the negatives into positives.

Demonstrating my charisma is what I hope to start achieving. Tonight, I am going to try and gather a podcast based on NinetyForChill.com out of my former partner. She is pretty reserved, but tell her to drop her Etsy shop into the conversation, this might pay off.

If only I did not have to listen for customers. If it was like my old copy-writing gig, I could just listen to podcasts. That way, I could listen to all of my friends who have started podcasts and start to network with obtainable guests. It seems cheaper than paying for Patreons to secure them.

Unless everyone of the locals have Patreons. The pay walls just takes away the will to struggle to fame and fortune. There are no dues to pay, or at least anyone who is willing to pay for them.

Or perhaps it is all about opening a print-to-order T-shirt shop. It worked for Tony Khan. I wonder why he has not turned to making chic merchandise for the Jaguars. Bullet Club mash up with Jackson de'Ville, and the sales can get you those generational talents that this AFC South team so desperately needs.

*January 8, 2021.

The recording of the first "Ninety For Chill: The Podcast" seems to have went well. I was starting to partake of my whiskey collection during the recording, so needless to say I have not played the Zoom meeting back, recorded an intro, or began editing. Because of the alcohol, there was no way I was going to partake in the NuEra Hybrid that I have at home. Something needed to be done with the rest of the evening, and "Ninety For Chill: The Website" has been falling behind in content.

My original title for this blog was going to be "Theft: The Insurrection; The US Championship; The Podcast", so I thought a heist movie would be good to unwind to. Unfortunately, these movies tend to require a lot of detail, so finding one that was under 97 minutes did not go well. Netflix did mail me a 2008 feature called "Sucker Punch" that was about underground fighting in London. Since those films are about grifting, that seemed an appropriate subject as the Trump presidency comes to an end. Being incredibly ugly by being shot on video...possibly tape also seems fitting when the government was held hostage by a bunch of people who could not program a VCR.

If only the Capital Building had a clock out front flickering 12:00 a.m. at the traitors, the confusion could have slowed the siege down. And it would have kept those twats who objected to the certification from even showing up.

Tom Hardy | Sucker Punch (2008)

@isabelleanneq - Pinterest

 
Sucker Punch (2008; 1 hour 32 minutes)

Charles Buchinsky is seemingly a damaged pit fighter who decides London is where he needs to be. He claims to have loose ends to tie up, but it may simply be in the capital because he needs a manager to get his fights set up. After he walks into a fight and dominates, both the menacing manager Victor Maitland and the flamboyant Ray "Harley" Davidson. Something about Maitland's demand of the room leads to absolute no trust from Buchinsky, so he is quick to consider an offer from Harley despite the struggles to survive are worn all over his face.

Maitland is dead set on never letting Harley have an opportunity to show him up, so every fight for Buchinsky comes with ridiculous entrant fees. Harley is a gambler in every facet, so he is always quick to spend whatever his fighter takes in. This results in Harley needing to approach loan sharks to provide him money in hopes that Buchinsky will win the big one for him. As Maitland keeps throwing obstacles in Buchinsky's way, the fighter's perseverance leave all the spectators certain that he will be the top guy in London. With all the spoils that come with being his promoter, will Harley be able to stay on top if that happens, or is he just looking for the next large prize? How long can his fighter continue to represent his dreams of outrageous fortune?

"Sucker Punch" is without a doubt the ugliest film featuring a Tom Hardy scene, but the story has a lot of heart and two every man protagonists that you cannot help but get behind. It can be best summed up as a film for fight fans by fight fans.

Calling it a film by fight fans means it is probably better than one by Tap Out like "Locked Down", but do not expect high art. Writer/director Malcolm Martin did not have the apparel company's pre-Affliction funds. This means no additionally lit scenes that did not take place at a Cage Rage show (MMA home of the film's antagonist, Ian Freeman) and literally no kind of special effects. Thank the gods for England's strict gun laws.

For me, the cast, primarily "Red Dwarf's" Danny John-Jules, was strong enough to keep my attention and look past the ugliness of the production. The story is tried and true and one that I can watch over and over again (The end of "Lionheart" never fails to score some tears from me.). If you want a B-movie of vintage Van Damme, there is "Fight Night" for that fix. But you want to see how well this story can work with no budget, "Sucker Punch" proves it can and even add some Guy Ritchie like twists.

You have to love the effort to make movies to truly appreciate "Sucker Punch". This story was going to be pushed into visual media no matter what, so it is a pity for the dirty appearance that the budget could afford. Despite this, you have entertaining enough characters and a format that rarely fails. It brings MMA back to the 90's, and if you are nostalgic for low blows and soccer kicks, this is worth a watch.

 

Religious and Technological Head Trips: "Angel Heart" and "eXistenZ"

*Blog post started on December 21, 2020.

Regarded as a horror classic by some, this is a mess of a picture, but to see how they sweep it up is worth a view. Brooklyn PI Harold Angel is hired by the aloof and religious Louis Cyphre to find a crooner who skipped out on his fame and fortune arrangement just before WWII. Every time Angel gets a clue, a brutal off camera murder follows. Why he would introduce a 17 year-old Voodoo priestess to it is barely comprehend-able, especially with “Fight Club” parallels.

 Check out the visceral movie review for "Angel Heart" by visiting MainEventoftheDead.com.

From 13 days of work in a row to three days off this week (including Sunday), I am still trying to get my bearings. Eva The Queen Kitty is looking after me, which is the reason I give for why people say she has a resting bitch face, so that leads me to think I am an emotional wreck. If anything, I feel like I am on Zoloft. There are no worries, but no motivation. Perhaps a trip to my folks on Christmas Eve will get me excited. COVID had already ravaged the residence, so it should be safe.

I wish I could complain about stuff, aside from my PA wanting me to do a video conference for a physical exam (She could have responded to my cancellation reasoning with, I will not just give you your diabetes meds.). Anger would at least be an emotion. "Cyberpunk 2077" is fun enough, not too buggy on the PS4. If anything, I think the story is too tight. It is very difficult to freely break the law. Thus, the urge to go on a killing spree is hindered.

There is definitely an under lying aggression to me, it just is not anger. I think that is kind of zen when you think of all those kick ass Tibetan monks from Shaw Bros. films and Mr. Miyagi teaching LaRusso you learn how to fight so you do not need to fight. It definitely does not jive with nihilism.

I have just inspired myself to write a "Funny or Die" replacing Tyler Durden and the Narrator with the protagonists from "The Karate Kid". An improv team is what I need to sell my subtle art of talking too much.

I guess it is now obvious that I am just spending too much time in my head. This is the reason for revisiting "Angel Heart", a flick I watched during the best times of 2004. My brain was a wreck then, and it seemed to work out fine. The dilemma for Sunday became trying to find a Redbox movie that was not a cheap psychological drama or horror. Ironically, when I was going through my unwatched iTunes, David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ" was among them. It just means that I trust those ideas when it comes from Canada's Master of Horror.

 

eXistenZ (1999, 1:37)

Allegra Geller is considered by most to be the best video game designer since video games have become bio-technological. Her talent is so great, that competitors to her company think it would best serve them to have her eliminated. The first demonstration of her newest game, "eXistenZ" was infiltrated by an assassin who wounds Allegra and kills the host of the presentation just as people were being hooked up to the newest biopod. Only marketing representative in training, Ted Pikul, is quick to act and whisk Allegra from the chaos.

Paranoid, Allegra decides it is best to find friendly people of the grid to protect her and Pikul. With no means of contacting her, she will have the time to examine her game and see if the attack resulted in any damage to it. The difficulty in doing this is that she needs a friend to explore the game with. Pikul is the only person she can trust, but he is a bit paranoid of games that tap directly into the nervous systems of the players. He may also just be afraid of piercings since he does not have the input slot installed into his spine.

The conditions are less than ideal. Time is not on their side, and her newbie is obviously going to have difficulty determining what is real and only a game. But if the software is damaged, how will either of them truly understand their existence be it reality or existence spelled with a big X and Z.

Centered around video game consoles with the same texture and color of sex toys, "eXistenZ" must have been intended to be Cronenberg's spiritual successor to "Videodrome". Like the prior feature, it definitely feels like a product of its time, but when you consider what video games have become, it still resonates with today's audiences. This film is what every pre-Matrix internet film wanted to be, aside from also being PG-13.

This feature has some body horror elements, but not the make up effects that audiences had grown accustomed to with Cronenberg's works like "Videodrome", "Scanners", and "The Fly". There are plenty of revolting images like the mutant reptiles and amphibians that Jude Law has to eat in order to create a gun constructed of bone, but the true horror revolves around needing to connect umbilical chords from the console to the base of their spine. Can any video game be worth genuine trauma to play? I will say yes, but with 28 years of combat sport experience and clinical depression on top of that, I may be an exception.

The thing that would deter me from wanting to be essentially feeding my life force to a PlayStation is that the game "eXistenZ" leaves it users grounded to its rules. Pikul and Geller have to follow the dialogue trees to progress and the decisions are never as challenging as we hope. I would love to know how many hours of gaming the then 57 year-old director had to put in to know exactly how they work. It turns out as an anti-gaming theme because it shows some of us are so desperate to escape reality, that we will anchor ourselves to not needing to make tough decisions just to be somebody else.

The cast plays all there parts brilliantly, and with the exception of Jude Law's flat tone (at least he did not try to go full on American accent), every quirk is justified by the conclusion that is very reminiscent of the "Twilight Zone". It is almost a shame that Cronenberg has only written one other film since this feature.

If anything else is lacking, it might be action. This is a video game after all. I guess you can say that it emulates those from the horror genre before Capcom and Paul W.S. Anderson screwed up the "Resident Evil" franchise. You get to be disturbed, but the narrative lacks intensity for our characters. But, again, this is not really much of a stretch from where video games have ended up today, so you have to appreciate Cronenberg having his finger on the pulse.

With the lack of "Fangoria" worthy imagery, "eXistenZ" does not seem like your standard Cronenberg, but it still delivers a story that is right up his fans' alley. Add in a "Twilight Zone" vibe, it is surprisingly accessible. Society would probably benefit from a reissue of this feature just to stop and think about the technological escapism and where it may lead...limited dialogue selection.

Денис Бернхардт - Pinterest