Netflix Navigator: "Carjacked" review, wrestling/zombies and small gun control rant

The problem with TV wrestling is that you can do other things while you are watching it (republishing this blog as I am watching NXT UK Takeover Blackpool).  Ring of Honor has gotten really good of late showing what TNA could have been doing with "Aces and Eights," but with one hour of holding back up and coming talent (and STANDARD DEFINITION) does not require my total attention.  So may as well as try to be a bit productive (as much as drunkenness allows--all the parentheticals act as a tribute to CS Lewis), may as well get a little writing out of the way.

Step back a moment, this is a Main Event of the Dead blog. How's the lighting at the Bellevue Plaza? Another promotion is filling the venue, I figure they may need some creative influence. You can dispute my wrestling ability, but my writing ability? I've got some negative feelings towards certain individuals, but if you want some exposure for your over-the-hill ass (New York won't higher you if you're over 30 [Pre Samoa Joe]), I've got the ideas. Hell, you'll feel like a star instead of somebody who should be strictly devoted to putting people over.

As for my wrestling career, anyone under 30 wants a trained professional wrestler to be an apprentice to--and you don't have the respect for the business to pay Danny Daniels (or Marek Brave and Tyler Black) over $2000 (BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD)--let me know. I got the mind to win you downstate.

This blog is a little disjointed.  I'd like to say it's "Fight Club"-esque, but I'm just saving the long part for last (if you are here for the Stephen Doff (how can the fuck use two F's for his last name and not use a V for his first--apart from his awesomeness). I  better cover my gun control rant.  My movie review could support my argument, but I don't like spoilers.

If you want a movie to support my argument, rent...fuck own..."Red State."  It's not Kevin Smith's best film, but it's a five star project that is as important as "Night of the Living Dead."  To sum it up, those who want all the guns shouldn't have them.  And those who have the guns shouldn't have them.  In conclusion, no one should have guns, unless the clips have rubber bullets.  Put a hollow point in Bambi's mom, fine (bull shit, who shoots a doe, but fine).  If you kill a man with a hollow point, you did it because you want the right to kill a human.  So you are a murderer.  If you kill a man with a rubber round, I'll admire your dedication.  Got to appreciate someone who can beat the 90 to 1 odds.

Why did I bring up my leftist agenda on this blog instead of harshside.com? Because I gotta let people know about my movie project, but I do need to address those who disagree with my views, who may feel I am picking on them.

If I take the time to comment about your politics, it's because I think you are intelligent enough to understand my reasoning.  I can list people who do are not (Shawn, Nathan), but that would be in poor taste.  If you are offended by my implications, I'll put on the four-ounce gloves to settle our differences.  If you are offended because I commented, at least do a two-month camp before you challenge me to shut the fuck up.  It's an indication you've got strong convictions, so best be prepared to kick my butt for your convictions sake.

So on to "Carjacked:"

I don't understand Hollywood.  That maybe a no brainer since I'm trying to produce a movie in the Midwest, but how do actors immediately seem to fall out our good graces.  Stephen Dorff was the reason we loved "Blade," but he only did indie films.  Why didn't the Studios give him an offer he couldn't refuse?  I've yet to see a wretched Dorff film (".45" was bad, but it was the script, not him.  If it is a bad script, an oversexed Milla Jovovich cannot save it).  Maria Bello has never disappointed (I heard she was awesome in "The Cooler," she was great in so many ways in "A History of Violence" and she played her role in "Thank You for Smoking" perfectly) so how did these two end up in an Anchor Bay flick with an "Anchor Bay" storyline?

Fortunately, these two actors can make a beyond made for video flick interesting for 90 minutes.  As proven with "Carjacked."  This flick is worth being in your online Netflix cue, but don't get pumped to receive this DVD in three days.

Loraine's life has been in the dumps since her GI husband walked out on her.  Her only outlet is anger management classes, but since the ex has filed for sole custody of their son Chad, a break maybe inevitable.  So she may not be the best person for bank robber on-the-lamb Roy to carjack.  She's willing to cooperate, unless you threaten her kid that she was going to treat to Bagel Bites.  It's going to be a bumpy ride, who has the less sensitive anus is the question.

"Carjacked" is a decent script which may have worked better as a play.  That means no car crashes.  Fortunately, Stephen Dorff can keep your attention whenever he is on screen.  If you're a smoker who hasn't tried an E-cigarette, you aren't staying up late enough to catch his commercial.

Maria Bello knows how to act human better than anyone, so she is the perfect match for the charisma of Dorff.  They make it a good character study, so you are amused for the run time.  Without the bullshit of Syfy channels special effects, this film is pretty watchable.  For actors, it's a great example of how to do it in spite of a poor script--direction--production value.  Also, for the aspiring filmakers, move to Louisiana if you want to avoid the bullshit.  "Down by Law" down there.

"Carjacked" is a good way to kill 90 minutes.  If you are a pro-wrestling fan, just think of it as a shorter "Monday Night Raw."  Good background noise, you just need to stick to "Puzzle Fighter" instead of "Pokemon."  You just can't build up you Bulbasaur's levels in the time provided.

Stephen Dorff should start reading classic literature audio books.  Getting my associates with an English major would have been so much cooler.