Ninety on Prime: "Necromancer" or Why You Must Include the Noun from the Title

Keeping yourself busy makes you realize how broke you are. At my age, you also think about how little time you have and little resources to make use of it. Fortunately, blogging is about the only plus of little support or lack of supervision, at least when you have slow nights, especially foreseen ones.

When you are busy, you tend to only focus on being busy. Thus, satire is not on the mind. But fortunately for the blog, Amazon Prime has plenty of 90-minute pictures so you can stay up late and add to the productivity of a 13-hour day. Then again, is reminding people of 80's horror movies a beneficial act?

Well after watching 1988's "Necromancer", this resurrection review might be worthwhile. I am trying to raise the dead with this rant, unlike our antagonist and title character from this flick.

Julie seems to have everything going for her. Straight A's and a scholarship, the female lead in "The Taming of the Shrew", a boyfriend in a band, and a job in the university's theater department. Sadly, the latter may be too much for her because boys will be boys.

Paul, Carl and Allan came for test answers, but after finding a provocative photo of Julie along side a love letter to the head of the department, Paul is inspired to see if she can offer up all that was promised from the note. Carl and Allan are reluctant, but the underbelly of the school runs through Paul, so they all play roles in his rape of little miss perfect.

The victim is ashamed from the attack, but cannot turn to anyone except her best friend Freda. Her boyfriend is unaware of her past partners, let alone the handsey theater professor. Paul's mother is on the board of deans, so she will lose her scholarship if she pursues legal action. Freda determines that her only option is to answer a classified ad from a woman promising vengeance.

Justice for $20, I would probably say consequences be damned. But when she starts dreaming of her attackers' deaths, Julie may be over her head. The only person who thinks they are up for stopping this trend is Ernest the Wicca Nerd. With a description like that, how will she end the trail of blood she has been cursed with?

Dusty Nelson's "Necromancer" is just not noisy enough to pay any attention to. The bare bones budget makes it seem like it is knocking off Italian horror rip offs while skimping on the gore. It moves fast enough, but aside from the premise, nothing is memorable.

Beyond the rape that would be tame for "Game of Thrones," there is not any onscreen violence until the climax. The monster that does all the killing requires a transformation, which we do not really get to see. What we get are green cat eyes and appendage covered it red caviar. I promise "Main Event of the Dead" will top this. (Drop me an email at russthebus07@gmail.com for a treatment of my Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy). If it was not for the nudity of lead Elizabeth Kaitan, this film would be more suited for the horror of the Hayes Code.

If MST3K had not found so many 80's horror with so little visual offense, this film could be salvaged. "Necromancer's" blessing is that it is fast-paced, so you will not get the time to be angry about it. Watching this film would be fun with some booze and friends. Sadly, I am just a couple of green streaks in my hair from being a doppelganger for the Wicca Nerd. Too close to my real life to stay in my Watch List.

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