Night Junkies: What "Twilight" should be with no increase in quality.

There is no such thing as a dramatic B-Movie. So nothing that naturally happens due to the low budget can take away from lousy actors giving their heart (and most likely their digestive track) to their role.

Even if a movie is dramatic with an edgy idea and shot on one handheld camera, it may not be classified as Indie. This is especially true when the score and action sequences are reminiscent of every B-Movie made this millennium.

In this state of limbo, one can find "Night Junkies", a movie that is the vampiric attempt to address the concept of addiction.

Vincent is a typical addict whose only concern is to get his next hit. Since his addiction is to blood, he has to stay indoors during the day, so developing relationships ends at his clamping down on his victim’s throat, but when he meets the defiant stripper Ruby, he thinks he found the girl of his dreams. Too bad he had to complicate their attraction by taking a nibble out of her.

Now Ruby is a reluctant vampire, but since this is merely an addiction, she sets out to conquer it. Vincent is reluctant of going cold turkey, and when the strip club owner and a wannabe Jack the Ripper are on her tail, having those undead powers may come in handy. It may be more important for Vincent and Ruby to accept what they are at least until no one wants to take vengeance upon them.

There are a lot of great concept introduced in Night Junkies and even the occasionally well written scene, but otherwise the film makes one want to take up an opiate to sit through it. By no means is this a great vampire movie, and since it cannot be that, the addiction storyline fails. Wretched editing and transitional effects that seem to be poor knock offs of those from Highlander: The Series makes it a total mess of a picture. It is honestly a rare thing for me to admit, but Night Junkies is a movie that fails on every level.

If there is anything that can be taken away from Night Junkies, it is what it is like putting up with addiction in the third person. This comes from personal experience, and after a bankruptcy caused by the unappreciative, it is an experience that no one should be a part of. Perhaps if you are considering saving a down and out whore from herself, you should watch Night Junkies. Sitting through movies that no one can appreciate is part of the ordeal, and if you do not have the simple sense to avoid putting up with that, Night Junkies is your Naloxone.

Cinefiles - Colorado Springs Independent

Tokyo Godfathers: A Nearly Lost Tale of Understanding (At least I can relate)

I guess I've officially consider my financial state to be poor. This is because my shift at the front desk is just dragging on. Eight o'clock is the time that I like to start thinking about blogging, but it's 7:00 pm hence I've ran out of things to do with the Internet. At least things that I can afford to do with my time.

So, I gotta stay away eBay (despite there is an unusual abundance of blank championship belts for under $60.00) and Amazon (I can't even swing $35...better make sure my Nerd Block gets cancelled...shit, too late [crappy websites won't get a link regardless of the cool anime stuff I received]). Thus, I have to come up with a new plan to work around this, and further emphasize the need to get "Guy Does Finishing Moves on Zombies," to promote "Main Event of the Dead" finished. I'll throw that pitch at the bottom of the blog.

Fortunately, Netflix came through for me when I received Satoshi Kon's "Tokyo Godfathers." Sadly, renting it through this service is the most affordable way to do so (I really should have booted up my Window Vista PC, my Dazzle Video Import hardware and Roxio software...first time I ever consider using the tech for piracy). When you consider the old movies that may never see streaming services, the $7.99 DVD service is really worth it. And it kind of makes you have to watch it ASAP because if you do not, you negate the value of your purchase (like cancelling Nerd Block too late..."Evangelion," worth 35/"Mr. Bean," not worthless). This also makes my "not going to get shitfaced nights" dedicated to watching new flicks (to me) so I'll can get back into the practice of writing movie reviews. I figure my knowledge of film should further support why "Guy Does Finishing Moves on Zombies," to promote "Main Event of the Dead" needs to be completed. If he knows the medium so well, surely his script (that you can get a treatment of by e-mailing russthebus07@gmail.com) can't be too bad.

Keep in mind, this course of action will only occur on nights that I'm not going to be a poor bore at the front desk. I need to save my other sober nights for "Disney Infinity" and "Infamous."

Tokyo Godfathers

This film from one of my favorite anime directors ("Perfect Blue" is a must view) is quite an appropriate title when it comes to my developed course of action for slow hotel nights. Three homeless Tokyo residents are trying their best to be cheery on Christmas Eve, but it's difficult for the alcoholic Gin, transvestite Hana, and runaway Miyuki to stand each other, let alone accept the spirit of the season. God may be looking over them, because as they are digging through the trash for some classic literature for Miyuki, they hear the whines of a newborn baby.

Hana believes this is his "virgin birth" and decides that he must play the role of mother, refusing to listen to his compatriots that they need to turn the newly christened Kiyoko (translates to messenger of God) to the police. Because the immediate needs of the child, Gin softens his stance and Miyuki can relate to the child's plight in her own way. A compromised is reached in the morning when Hana demands that he cannot give the baby up until her parents explain their actions to him. So, the three that society have forgotten will venture on a quest to find a baby's parents that may lead the three to finally understanding and accepting each other.

I think Kon realized that story may be a bit cliche, so Yakuza, wannabe Droogs and hidden ailments of the three compatriots will present themselves to add greater challenges to our protagonists.

I will warn you this is a subtitled only release. The positive of this is that the authenticity of the translation cannot be questioned. The negatives are whatever the typical person has to bitch about reading. My only issue with the lack of a dub is that I like to see multiple angles to my animation. It's a different art to dubbing animation, and with anime's lack of mouth movement to the correct sound spoken, a good dub is about as good as a track where I will not recognize the actors. For fun, a dub can also throw in extra sounds/dialogue to explain the story even further.

Aside from this, "Tokyo Godfathers" is one of the best subtle stories I have seen in anime. Do not worry, crazy things will occur, but they happen to further our understanding of the characters, not to just break up monotony. It's kind of like the J. R. R. Tolkien adaptations to screen, but every action scene provides depth to the protagonist(s) instead of serving as an obstacle to present the illusion that the story is more than midgets walking towards a goal.

The character of Miyuki offers a lot more to be discovered about her, and the story only breaks the surface. Fortunately, the adult characters, the easiest to understand characters, are totally flushed out, so their stories and how they could seemingly coexist make the film very rewarding. Kon realizes that it is still a cartoon, so the film has a style that lacks realism which may make swallowing some of the tougher character traits a little easier.

Also he successfully reminds us of the medium with the incorporation of devices where characters comfortably break the fourth wall. They're very subtle devices that are not too far removed from Wile E. Coyote holding up one of his signs.

A huge positive of this film is how Kon was able to bring together three story-lines into just 90 minutes. That seems like a daunting task for many Asian directors to do with only one line to follow, and perhaps its through making the audience yearn to see the characters stick together that makes it work so well. Kon obliges, and you are given the time to pop "Perfect Blue" into the player (that's why I keep two VHS decks on standby) to see the range of his storytelling ability in just one night.

"Tokyo Godfathers" is a case for preventing a major distributor (Sony in this case) from getting a hold of marvelous niche films. I doubt there is any rush on their behalf for a Blu-Ray of this masterpiece in storytelling, so it maybe a decade before we can easily see this feature again. Since this and Kon's "Millenium Actress" suffer from poor distributing and Satoshi Kon has since passed away, I fear he may be forgotten in the states as one of the best directors of traditional animation.

Not my best closing, but I think its worth your time to listen to the following suggestion:

The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:

• Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
• The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
• Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
• One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
• A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we'll make replacing it a priority.

Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.

If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

Zombieland: The Uncut Critique

I cannot say that I am happy with the Arts and Entertainment editor of ICC's Harbinger student news paper. My review for "Zombieland" is the second one in which he has cut out my introduction (the other being my review of for "Inglourious Basterds"), and after reviewing the finer points of my last review also, he does not feel it necessary to include my knowledge and personal opinions to further rave about why one should see the films.

If my reviews were over a page long, I'd understand. Heck, I cannot say that I'd be miffed if he cut out 46 words to make it an even five hundred. But without incite into my incites, my reviews are no better than those of quote whores (since he also decided to omit mentioning that I wrote a negative review for "The Informant!") and as bland as the reviews the Journal Star pulls off the AP wire to simply have movie reviews.

And I believe that what is omitted is done to allow an image that takes up too much space in the paper that is relative to the film. It was a virtual spread for Brad Pitt in my "Basterds" review that did not share the page with any other stories in it's issue. When it comes to my "Zombieland "review, it seemed unnecessary to put the image featured in the review when it was already used on the front page of the paper.

We read the opinions of certain critics not because they are good critics, but because the great critics have their personality attached to them. I maybe damning future publication in this section of the Harbinger by saying that my articles are not news and I'm not a journalist. They are suppose to be an expression of who is writing it, not the paper that wants to avoid offending anyone at all cost. If I wanted to write bland stuff like what I feel my reviews have been treated, I would not have dropped Creative Writing with instructor C....

CHRISTINA/KINDA/CRAZY

Alright. Enough ranting, let me get to what you all came to see, my review for the Jesse Eisenberg vehicle, "Zombieland."

It has been too long since an American zombie movie worthy of mainstream attention was released, but "Zombieland" fills that void. Graphic violence, never taking itself too seriously, and ridiculous premises make this movie what director Zack Snyder ("Watchmen", "300") was trying to capture with his 2004 remake of "Dawn of the Dead".

In the not so distant future, the zombie apocalypse has occurred. It has turned the United States into Zombieland, a place where people are only known by the city they are trying to reach so that no one gets too attached to potential meals to the undead.

This is a story about Columbus Ohio (Jessie Eisenberg), a paranoid, Mountain Dew Code Red drinking, WOW obsessed underclassman who is hoping to make friends and find his family for the first time in his life. He’s stays alive by following his 32 rules to survive zombie attacks and befriending Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a crazed zombie killer in search of the last package of Twinkies in existence. After they are hijacked by the sisters Wichita and Little Rock (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin), they all decide that Southern California and its Pacific Playland Amusement Park is the perfect location to celebrate their survival skills.

"Zombieland" is very similar at least in spirit to "Shaun of the Dead", but is definitely not as subtle or restrained with its humor. Like Sam Raimi’s "Evil Dead" trilogy, all of the gore is suppose to be humorous in some form, but the humor beyond that is constant throughout the film, and there is no reason for the audience to stop laughing out loud throughout it.

This film follows all of the rules to a great zombie film, and the violence featured is never wasted. It is actually closer in attitude to the original "Dawn of the Dead". There is always to be fun from enjoying unbridled consumption (Woody Harrelson’s brilliant performance emphasizes that), but in the end a realization that there is something more important than being comfortable. Snyder’s remake focused so much on shocking the audience that he only glanced over these elements in a single montage. The most glaring flaw of Snyder’s film is that he does not take time to use to have fun with the limited space the characters are confined to. A zombie trying to survive an amusement park is far more entertaining than buses trying to escape a parking deck.

The ultimate irony of "Zombieland" is that director Ruben Fleischer is able to capture the film using a style very reminiscent to Snyder’s great comic book movies. "Zombieland" feels like there is a great mind for film behind the camera instead of a guy best known for working on the crews of "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" and writing episodes of MTV2’s "Rob and Big".

"Zombieland" is a celebration of gore and humor that is brilliantly captured on film. Because the film focuses on having fun with graphic violence while "Shaun of the Dead" was more of a parody of the genre, this may not only be the best zombie comedy of the decade, but the best zombie film since "28 Days Later". I hope your cardio (zombie survival rule #1) is good, because fans of comedy should rush to see "Zombieland".

Isn't Crashing into the Hudson Putting Passengers in Deeper Shit?

Current mood:  argumentative

Is it distasteful to call the pilot of the plane that crashed into the Hudson a hack? When most crashes are investigated, the error is usually not mechanical, it is the pilot at fault.

redbubble.com

Don't sell me the bird(s) in the engine theory. Bruce Willis put a big black guy through a jet engine in the second "Die Hard", and that plane took off with no mechanical trouble. It took a "Yippi Kai Yay Motherfucker" to put that jet to rest.

...

Isn't that all this incident was? He landed in a river instead of burning up in Central Park. To hell with investigating the incident, this lucky son of a bitch should have more brain trauma than the panicky chick in "Airplane".

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

One Minute too Long: Bangkok Dangerous: Do You Want To See the Hits or the Man?

If Scorcese was able to take "Infernal Affairs", and make it the best picture of 2006, what prevents a Coppola produced retooling of "Bangkok Dangerous" from being worthwhile. Sure, BD is using the original directors, the Pang Brothers, who have proven that Japanese horror isn't the only Asian cinema that won't work in the States (these Chinese minds were behind "The Eye"), but this film can certainly overcome this because we have an R-Rated Nicolas Cage.

9GAG

 ...

I'm not expecting "Hard-boiled", I'll settle for "Shoot 'Em Up" in Southeast Asia. The DVD menus seem to promise that at the very least. We have a versatile A-Lister and the original directors, so cultural differences shouldn't bog this flick down. Perhaps the stars have aligned for what can only be escapism with "Bangkok Dangerous".

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Tweets from Violence/Exploitation to Greeting Cards

Current mood: annoyed

Category: Blogging

Does it count as writing something new each day if I rely on re-posting some of my more clever tweets? Judging that I got to go through a month and half of my personal package, I think so.

Please save me from doing these blogs by following me on twitter @russthebus or maineventofthedead.com

Now that I think about it, I'll go through my tweets until I see something worth elaborating on. See if the creative process is still there.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They gotta broaden the find people search engine. Can't be an activist if people need to find your real name. 1:03 AM May 15th from web

...

@ChanceRush Now maybe nerds could use self defense courses too, but do you really see the common geek taking Tae Bo? 2:50 PM May 17th from web

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps there are a lot of directions I could take in my "Stop Billy Blanks from Taking Your Money" argument. One direction could actually be expanded to anybody who thinks they are tough because they have taken lessons in ass kicking. If I take that route, it prevents people from thinking that I'm just picking on weak women who feel empowered because they know how to make a punching-like motion.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

 

@theCHIVE - Pinterest
 

MFK: Baseball, Video Games, Typing...or Death to Your Piggies

At least the walls are not too thin. This is what comes to mind as the hotel is hosting 15 kids among three families.

I feel like driving east to the town where I would say nine are hailing from. The only time I really paid attention to that village was when I dropped off my first true friend with benefits off at her parents house after she put in six hours at the West Peoria establishment then known as Fantasyland. She was fun company, but the most worthwhile benefits was probably hanging out with her cats. Needless to say, regardless of the benefits, convincing me to drive 100 miles in the early morning was not a challenge.

FUN FANTASY BASEBALL MEMES IMAGES

Being aware of what existed in that township was not on my mould presume there would be motels. Hell, Chillicothe, Illinois has a Super 8, the high end of the hotel wannabes, and that is 30 miles for 74. The point is, I should not have to deal with a game of hide and seek occurring in my lobby orind, but it is off I-74, so one w parental shouts of, "No more papers and no more staples," from the business center.

...

This all reminds me of a morning at my retail job where alarms for expensive items kept going off as parents let their children roam the store. Management did not approve of my suggestion, but they seemed to enjoy the idea of cutting off a finger of anyone who trips an alarm that would prevent Venom from ruling over Eddie Brock. It is not like I am asking for a hand.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

1/7/09: Flag Burning for Good Taste

Current mood:  Accomplished

The sweet aroma of desperation like that of a foul fruit seems to be a proper scent for Mayor Jim Ardis and Regent Broadcasting. Perhaps it is not their aroma, but the stench from an entire crate of the rotten ovaries they might be carrying.

I am discussing the further efforts to bring AC/DC to Peoria. Is it too late to scare the right wing with the gay name theory?

That probably would not work since it is the god-fearing, mullet-sporting, Pekin Walmart-shopping red necks who think a Desert Eagle was made for possum hunting. Beyond these folks and aging pro wrestlers, who else would go to an AC/DC rally?

Why must it be AC/DC? Is it for the old guys who listen to 105.7 the X in the morning in an effort to be hip before they change the station to catch the Bob and Tom rewind? Is that what makes them the only noise to stench up the two largest towers in Peoria?

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Wanted - What the Wachowskis Should Be Directing

Timur Bekmambetov had reformulated the Vampire clan genre, and in his first American effort since 2002, he tries to reinvent the action films that the Wachowski Sisters pioneered. His premise behind "Wanted" and its "whoa" worth action sounds cooler because who needs
Agent Smith when you have Morgan Freeman with a potty-mouth.

1000 years ago, a group of weavers found a language in the thread counts. Since a loom cannot think, the weavers determined that the message was fate ordering them to kill the evil doers it would list. They formed The Fraternity, a creed of assassins who believe if they kill one person, they may save a thousand.

The top assassin of the group has been murdered by the rogue member, Cross (Thomas Kretschmann). To save the order, Sloan (Morgan Freeman) and Fox (Angelina Jolie) determine that training the unknowing son of the deceased, Wesley (James McAvoy), is the best chance to stop this threat. Will Wesley be able to abandon the exciting world of account manager, and save the world, or is he working towards becoming Cross's next victim?

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

 

 

Sequel to Angelina Jolie's 'Wanted' Moves Forward With Familiar Screenwriters

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

G4 Era Blog: Kristy Swanson: A Tragic Detour to My SLC Punk Coverage

As I wait to watch my SLC Punk DVD at 9 a.m., I flip through the channels, so I could have some background noise as I write down some preliminary thoughts.

Before I settle on "Ninja Warrior", I flipped through the Encore movie channels and find out something disturbing. Kristy Swanson was the star of "Mannequin 2: On the Move."

She really had no hope of making the A-List. One can claim that she had her chances to make it, and lord knows she tried (like the sex scene in "The Chase"). But when you are portraying a character because Kim Cattrall turned it down, and you portrayed another one that Joss Whedon was dying to rewrite, sympathy is all that her adoring public can offer.

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

@girlofscary - Pinterest

The Sweet, The Sour, and the "Phantasm" Review

Today was one of those sweet and sour ones. It was sweet that my supervising team figured out how to help the employees who guilt tripped me into working overtime, despite I had to stay long enough to determine if the work load would be too grand for three people to handle. I should be ecstatic about a victory over protocol, but there is the sour. That being the fact I spent more on cat treats than I did on my own groceries. Honestly, pleasing that little furball makes me happy on its own, provided she does not wake me whining for them.

Expenditures for 9/9/11 just remind me that I'm broke, without credit (I got to show some discipline, by not activating the fresh plastic) until my next paycheck. I should be fine after that minus the Cubs tickets I want to pick up. So I should be thinking of the last nights at Wrigley, but that's the problem. They are the last games until March 2012. What is there to do in Peoria to have fun with the spare coin that comes with the change of the season? Rivermen season tickets is impractical working second shift. Oh the price of being a cynic. Can never appreciate the little things.

Or maybe I just think the sweet and sour is bull shit. Never cared for most Asian foods when I come to think of it. I prefer spicy.

Slow news day, and watching the Saints game and a movie would have kept me up too late. If I wouldn't have fried (technically steamed my DVR), I'd at least have wrestling to go on about. To make this blog worthwhile, I guess I better dig up a bad movie review I wrote on some scratch paper at work.

Maybe, not a bad movie. My bitching about "Surf Nazis Must Die" will not accomplish anything. It is the garbage that the mainstream that you must be warned about, and I don't have any of those lying about. How about "Phantasm?" That seems an essay which will be more fun to type than another socialist blog. At least at this hour.

Perhaps the most under appreciated horror franchise is "Phantasm." It had as many sequels as most from the late 70s-early 80s boom, but this critic was only aware of the films through "USA Up All Night." Being associated with the censored soft core made it so I had no interest in the series history until the notoriety of it director's Bruce Campbell classic, "Bubba Ho-Tep." This Campbell connection and there being no little dolls or undersized monsters (at least that I was aware of), this is the kind of spooky that I should not skip.

Shit Movie Fest

Weird things have been happening at the local funeral home since Tommy's apparent suicide, or at least young Michael thinks so. The lonely teenager who virtually clings to his older brother Jody swears that he is being stalked by the giant funeral director and his zombie dwarfs. Obviously, he is telling the truth about this evil Tall Man, and after successfully convincing his brother and their best friend, Reggie The Ice Cream Man, they set out to solve the mystery that may even involve their parents, and all of the recently deceased.

"Phantasm" is a brilliant translation of a bad dream. That is David Lynch's goal, but auteur and "Beast Master" helmer Don Coscarelli makes the chaotic nature of a dream make sense. Honestly, without additional sequels, this film make no sense, but it comes to a clear conclusion, something we always hope for when we wake up.

There are some brilliant moments presented by Coscarelli, most notably the the scenes in the crypt and that his presentation of mayhem is as restrained as "John Carpenter's Halloween." Again, what makes the film unique is that it successfully throws creepy concepts together and gives our protagonist a chance to survive. This could have been the first and only horror movie that could have had a successful NES translation.

"Phantasm" is a simple horror film that delivers shocks, and can be appreciated by anyone with and overly active imagination. With its nightmarish environment and relative lack of gore, it could make a great double feature with "Inception." This is a rare mind bender in an American genre and era that kept horror way to simple.

Netflix Navigator: "Carjacked" review, wrestling/zombies and small gun control rant

The problem with TV wrestling is that you can do other things while you are watching it (republishing this blog as I am watching NXT UK Takeover Blackpool).  Ring of Honor has gotten really good of late showing what TNA could have been doing with "Aces and Eights," but with one hour of holding back up and coming talent (and STANDARD DEFINITION) does not require my total attention.  So may as well as try to be a bit productive (as much as drunkenness allows--all the parentheticals act as a tribute to CS Lewis), may as well get a little writing out of the way.

Step back a moment, this is a Main Event of the Dead blog. How's the lighting at the Bellevue Plaza? Another promotion is filling the venue, I figure they may need some creative influence. You can dispute my wrestling ability, but my writing ability? I've got some negative feelings towards certain individuals, but if you want some exposure for your over-the-hill ass (New York won't higher you if you're over 30 [Pre Samoa Joe]), I've got the ideas. Hell, you'll feel like a star instead of somebody who should be strictly devoted to putting people over.

As for my wrestling career, anyone under 30 wants a trained professional wrestler to be an apprentice to--and you don't have the respect for the business to pay Danny Daniels (or Marek Brave and Tyler Black) over $2000 (BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD)--let me know. I got the mind to win you downstate.

This blog is a little disjointed.  I'd like to say it's "Fight Club"-esque, but I'm just saving the long part for last (if you are here for the Stephen Doff (how can the fuck use two F's for his last name and not use a V for his first--apart from his awesomeness). I  better cover my gun control rant.  My movie review could support my argument, but I don't like spoilers.

If you want a movie to support my argument, rent...fuck own..."Red State."  It's not Kevin Smith's best film, but it's a five star project that is as important as "Night of the Living Dead."  To sum it up, those who want all the guns shouldn't have them.  And those who have the guns shouldn't have them.  In conclusion, no one should have guns, unless the clips have rubber bullets.  Put a hollow point in Bambi's mom, fine (bull shit, who shoots a doe, but fine).  If you kill a man with a hollow point, you did it because you want the right to kill a human.  So you are a murderer.  If you kill a man with a rubber round, I'll admire your dedication.  Got to appreciate someone who can beat the 90 to 1 odds.

Why did I bring up my leftist agenda on this blog instead of harshside.com? Because I gotta let people know about my movie project, but I do need to address those who disagree with my views, who may feel I am picking on them.

If I take the time to comment about your politics, it's because I think you are intelligent enough to understand my reasoning.  I can list people who do are not (Shawn, Nathan), but that would be in poor taste.  If you are offended by my implications, I'll put on the four-ounce gloves to settle our differences.  If you are offended because I commented, at least do a two-month camp before you challenge me to shut the fuck up.  It's an indication you've got strong convictions, so best be prepared to kick my butt for your convictions sake.

So on to "Carjacked:"

I don't understand Hollywood.  That maybe a no brainer since I'm trying to produce a movie in the Midwest, but how do actors immediately seem to fall out our good graces.  Stephen Dorff was the reason we loved "Blade," but he only did indie films.  Why didn't the Studios give him an offer he couldn't refuse?  I've yet to see a wretched Dorff film (".45" was bad, but it was the script, not him.  If it is a bad script, an oversexed Milla Jovovich cannot save it).  Maria Bello has never disappointed (I heard she was awesome in "The Cooler," she was great in so many ways in "A History of Violence" and she played her role in "Thank You for Smoking" perfectly) so how did these two end up in an Anchor Bay flick with an "Anchor Bay" storyline?

Fortunately, these two actors can make a beyond made for video flick interesting for 90 minutes.  As proven with "Carjacked."  This flick is worth being in your online Netflix cue, but don't get pumped to receive this DVD in three days.

Loraine's life has been in the dumps since her GI husband walked out on her.  Her only outlet is anger management classes, but since the ex has filed for sole custody of their son Chad, a break maybe inevitable.  So she may not be the best person for bank robber on-the-lamb Roy to carjack.  She's willing to cooperate, unless you threaten her kid that she was going to treat to Bagel Bites.  It's going to be a bumpy ride, who has the less sensitive anus is the question.

"Carjacked" is a decent script which may have worked better as a play.  That means no car crashes.  Fortunately, Stephen Dorff can keep your attention whenever he is on screen.  If you're a smoker who hasn't tried an E-cigarette, you aren't staying up late enough to catch his commercial.

Maria Bello knows how to act human better than anyone, so she is the perfect match for the charisma of Dorff.  They make it a good character study, so you are amused for the run time.  Without the bullshit of Syfy channels special effects, this film is pretty watchable.  For actors, it's a great example of how to do it in spite of a poor script--direction--production value.  Also, for the aspiring filmakers, move to Louisiana if you want to avoid the bullshit.  "Down by Law" down there.

"Carjacked" is a good way to kill 90 minutes.  If you are a pro-wrestling fan, just think of it as a shorter "Monday Night Raw."  Good background noise, you just need to stick to "Puzzle Fighter" instead of "Pokemon."  You just can't build up you Bulbasaur's levels in the time provided.

Stephen Dorff should start reading classic literature audio books.  Getting my associates with an English major would have been so much cooler.

 

MFK: The Disgruntled's Real World Champion, The Three Wise Men, Christmas Parties

I have just successfully completed preparing drafts of old blogs to be republished on this site. Hopefully by the end of the night, the funds will be figured out to purchase a domain for "Ninety for Chill." Perhaps a new strategy will be developed to quickly catch up to the current date with my newer blogs.

If only the hotel guests acted like they have stayed in a hotel before. That may be an over statement. All it takes is one stupid request, question or demand, and you are going to fear picking up the phone the next time it rings. Sometimes it is not the guest's fault, like noise complaints, but there is always somebody who is going to make it difficult for everybody.

Needless to say, it is tough to regain my composure after someone asks twice about where the ice machine is in a matter of a minute to then receive a call about a friend of the hotel's youth basketball team causing another guest's bed to shake for three hours. Or having a little kid demand that I find him games on a business center computer to then receive a call from a guest insisting I approve a late check out for them that moment.

...

Anyhow, there is something more pressing that I would like some feed back on.

Who is the real world champion now?

Read the rest of this blog other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Winter 2008: The Rise of the Machines or Rollerball 75

Current mood: examinate

Category: Life

I think back to my blog "40 Years is Enough," and realize that our society is in a lot of trouble. Not because of overpopulation and stupidity...well, perhaps stupidity, but economic conditions that will lead to our demise. A Harvey Dent coin which only offers a Joker pencil result.

And this all came to be when I saw that "Hubba Bubba" now owns "Squeeze Pop."

BubbleYum's "Hershey Chocolate Flavored Gum." Circle K taking over Peoria thus destroying the whimsy of "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". AC/DC and Walmart making us wonder why we just don't lock certain people out of recording studios.

Hoopastank has a top 30 track? Trapt is coming back? Curse 105.7 the X yet again.

...

It's not a good example of capitalism if it is promoting the fundamentally wrong, or it as confused as those who try to leave their niche like most fast food places. How far away are we from Red Lobster/Steak 'n Shakes?

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

May and June Movies 2K9

It took me a while to even want to go out and see the new releases in these months. My blog At the gimmick because we can't call them movies can sum the reasoning behind this up. I may just be too jaded, but it's tough to go see a blockbuster?

Effects are first and substance second. George Lucas proved to us that we can have both, but is Hollywood out to prevent a massive nerd population from developing? Surely, science fiction is not the only genre that can provide us with substance and special effects. Perhaps if we just keep Michael Bay from the director's chair, we can move forward in the quest to create excellent blockbusters.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

July and August Movies 2009

The last two months of summer are usually the best time for movie releases till after Thanksgiving. Audiences only deal with minimal blockbuster BS, and are treated to films that are just main stream enough to make money and earn accolades.

July 10:

• "Bruno" - It did not seem to get the same reception as Sacha Baron Cohen's last starring vehicle, "Borat." There may have been a backlash towards the exploitative style of film making, but critics were not overly harsh to the project, but not as rabid as they'd been for "Borat". Still, Cohen might be the contender for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical when he Golden Globes come around.
• "I Love You, Beth Cooper" - A PG-13 movie about teenage corruption is a paradox. It should not happen. With the more intelligent "Assassination of a High School President" making it to DVD this fall, this film will hopefully be forgotten even though I cannot say it was necessarily bad.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Assassination of a High School President: Because there wasn't enough jail bait in "The Usual Suspects"

The 2008 Sundance Film Festival hit, "Assassination of a High School President" wide release was prevented due to its own ambitions. Not having the finances to be distributed on the big screen, DVD has now allowed audiences to see what would be considered the “Heathers” of this generation.Finally, there is a film that allows all of us to forget about the mockery that the "High School Musical" trilogy made of the first truly turbulent time in all of our lives.

“Assassination of a High School President” successfully brings crime drama to a realm that almost every audience can relate to. Nothing in this film seems too far-fetched, and its brilliant script and performances should be able to keep the attention of any movie goer. The most impressive thing about this film is that it is witty enough to allow the viewer to accept a story that centers around: sex, drugs and violence all involving teenagers. A must see form fans of modern film noir, and those who embrace “American Pie” as the film that defines their generation.

Brett Michaels: My War for Our Taste

Current mood: argumentative

So Poison is coming back to Peoria (2008). The same Poison with the same attention whore as their front man. The same Poison that had established themselves as my generation's Monkee's.

We all loved "Cheer Up Sleepy Gene" and "Look What the Cat Dragged In," but we don't need to see Peter, Mike, Dave, and the ugly one visiting Peoria every year.

And Axel Rose has given us so much that is far more uplifting than "Something to Believe In" or "Every Rose...is screwing the opener's frontman." One day, my prayers will be answered for the True Chinese Democracy...won't they David Geffen?

...

It makes me sad to think that Michaels's may have stained the walls of the Mark or the Star Theater with his vocals. Peoria hasn't been offered the techodriven metal of Reznor to reestablish the rock solid foundations of Carver Arena. In other words, the building has never been ready to sustain the damage of these aging rocker's Viagra driven efforts.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

Pirate Radio - Too Bad Nobody Went Down with this Ship

I appreciate that the Harbinger (http://iccharbinger.com) is trying to catch up the website during the break, but there has to be something more important that Daughtry's October show in Peoria to dominate the entertainment section.

Rotten Tomatoes

But, they did choose to publish this review for "The Boat That Rocked" instead of "Assassination of a High School President," so it maybe said that I didn't offer anything for the month of November to dethrone the Idol Poser.

“Pirate Radio” is a picture that is nothing more than subplots without substance that allow for fine British actors and Philip Seymour Hoffman to act cheeky. Richard Curtis’s film is non-trippy images to a classic rock soundtrack. Somehow this does not seem to be the fit way of presenting these songs, and the story does not make up for the mistreatment.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Spring 2009: Back to Saving the Steroid Business

Current mood: jedi

I got a lot of deadlines coming up. It almost seems like I an actual writer. But to make sure I'm not backed up on my goal to keep the employed and for those who do not want to deal with an article asking "Who are the best looking people on The Hill?" from going to an Illinois Central College campus to pick up the Harbinger.

Actually, do they place them at Downtown, South, or the North campuses? To be a college patriot, do you have to truly know all of your campuses? On that note, fuck Chief Illiniwek. I am sure UIC or UIS would gladly share their mascots.

Here is my call for respect of the great heroes of the negatively viewed steroid era. I'd put up my "Choke" movie review I wrote for the paper, but I like the sloppy version posted on the blog last October.

Are steroids really a big deal in
baseball?

Steroid users have been accused of quite a bit of cheating. They are accused of cheating out their fellow players by lessening demand for clean players, cheating the fans and the integrity of the game. But are these accusations fair or the lies of the bitter?

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

MFK: The Wanty, The Certified Fresh, The Black Jesus

I was thinking about saying that I am glad the holiday season is about to end, but in retail, we add 12 days on top of it. As for hotels in a university town, since the people visiting during the break are fewer, they seem to expect more from us. Of course, they will say need.

Is that what the holidays are? Is it a time to play needy, just like Mary and Joseph did?

...

Sadly, people are out to make you angry when their mad. And when you work for companies that have quite the corporate structure, you can only hope their fellow customers make the comments that you wish you could. If they do not walk away, then they have gone and fucked your Christmas Eve.

"You said I could have this suite, but now you are telling me I can't?!?"

I apologized for the my error and let her know we still have accessible suite:

"My husband and I have different sleep schedule, we need the suite to have a bedroom!"

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Movies of 2009 Thus Far (January-February)

I found a tweet last night from film critic Chris Gore (best known, or at least I know him from G4's Attack of the Show) about Zombieland

With 10 possible Best Picture nominees, @Zombieland has a chance at Oscar gold! Badassawesome! A zombie wave4u: http://tinyurl.com/y8wpd7a

Certainly this is a satirical statement, but because of that, it leaves me to wonder about the quality of movies this year. Can a zombie flick (not directed by George A. Romero) be one of the ten best films this year?

So, lets partake with a week by week break down of what has been offered by Hollywood.

January 2 (based on information gathered from film-releases.com:)

Only movies that were released were limited to the coasts. Can't base any conclusions from that.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies

 

 Zombieland - Mad Duck Posters

March and April Movie 2K9

I was still catching up with the 2008 Oscar race at this time. Slumdog Millionaire one weekend Milk the next The Wrestler following. With the exception of Watchmen, these were months that I regret not figuring out a way to live in Wrigleyville to avoid all the holiday fodder. This blog maybe fun to write just to know what I was skipping, because lets face it, nothing that is suppose to be in Top 10 list is released prior to May and for the most part November.

Read the rest of these stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

thisisnthappiness.com - Blade Runner: John Guydo via: Peteski