90-Minute Redbox: "VFW" a Rutger Hauer Away from Grindhouse Perfection

 *Blog post started on November 17, 2020.

It is a bad time for this nation to be in a holding pattern. A part of me wishes Donald Trump would do something dramatic, like when H.W. Bush found a reason to bomb Iraq before 1992 ended. In other words, I finally gave into buying a microphone to podcast with. If there is not any drama, what is there to podcast about?

There are too many wrestling podcasts out there. An idea for one just came into my head as I pondered, "Are there too many movie podcasts out there?" Gods know that I do not want to give that away. Either direction, a host for each episode is kind of essential. Unless I wanted to try and become the liberal version of Alex Jones that is.

Is that what I should put down in my Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meet Bagel, and OK Cupid profiles (Zoosk and Plenty of Fish have lost their usefulness.)? Single chonk male looking for podcast cohost.

I wish I had more to say. That is obvious since this blog post is discussing podcasting. It is tempting to let loose that wrestling idea. If I would have just overlooked trying to own my comedic screenplay about pro-wrestlers versus zombies, "Main Event of the Dead", maybe I would have that IMDb cred I crave. (If you have any suggestions on how to get this production out of development hell or would like a treatment of the screenplay, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com). The details of the film could have gave my readers something to cheer on or even claim ownership of, like a local band before they break big.

Or maybe I just need a lawyer to go after "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Too bad my pair back in Peoria are for bankruptcy and criminal defense. But I will say, you should research the Library of Congress for what screenplays have copyright protection before moving ahead with your project. Scripts revolving around your own personal wrestling experiences are unique. B-movie versus flicks, not so much. All I am saying is, "Tokyo Zombie" and "Land of the Dead's" zombie combat scenes made me happy that the government approved my script instead of calling me a thief.

What it comes down to is did the "Pro Wrestlers versus Zombies" start up before I got the copyright for my script and before I launched this blog. To his credit, director did Cody Knotts did get his Kickstarter going before the MainEventOfTheDead.com. Or at least I think he did. The oldest date listed on the page is 11 days behind my domain registration.

I guess my first podcast could be an oral history of "Main Event of the Dead" and the Fangoria-panned "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Do not take my noting of a negative review as a personal attack Mr. Knotts. My bringing up the name of the most famous/infamous horror movie magazine is being used as a transition to the following movie review, The Fangoria co-production, "VFW", a more horrific and authentic story of old soldiers kicking ass.

 

VFW (2019)

The opioid epidemic has further evolved. A new drug called Hype has hit the market, but with limited supplies, junkies know as hypers are quick to becoming homicidal to get their score from whomever they can. This has lead to such an influx in crime that the police have taken to sheltering in place leaving the public to fend for themselves. Fortunately, if you do not have much worth taking, the criminal element leaves you alone. Thus, Fred and his Vietnam War buddies can kickback and relax at VFW 2494.

Well, they could just chill out as the world burns, but a young woman with $500,000 of hype barges is as she runs from a couple of machete-wielding drug dealers. This assault results in Korean War vet Doug being critically injured and Fred quickly responding with a shotgun barrage that leaves one of the assailants minus a skull and the other retreating. It turns out that the girl, Lizard, has stolen the drugs to ruin Boz, the kingpin responsible for her sister's death.

If that is not enough motivation for the hypers to attack the VFW, Boz's brother is the thug who lost his head. This leaves our crew of 70 somethings and an Army Ranger who has just returned from the longest war in a position where they cannot negotiate their way out of it. Too bad for Boz that being under siege is where this crew feels most comfortable. Fred's crew is quick to make the bar into a trap the Vietcong would admire. When the opponents army is a bunched of crazed junkies, placing a bet on the Veterans of Foreign Wars seems like a sound one.

"VFW" scratches itches for lots of genre fans. The gore hounds will be happy with the effects. Grindhouse fans will love the aesthetic and style. Action aficionados will love the legendary line up and the brutality they express. It could have been a little more tongue-in-cheek for my taste, but how ridiculous can a feature safely be?

 My favorites features in this grindhouse revival (outside of "Death Proof") are the Soska Sisters' "Dead Hooker in a Trunk" and Jason Eisener's "Hobo with a Shotgun". I am just a fan of the gimmicky nature. You can still be visceral, but the audience knows the humor is always present. "VFW" does not have the same, "This is a joke" nature so you are applauding the ridiculous over the top violence. Some may say that the audience is seeing humor from the craziness (Like when Edward Norton's Narrator demolishes Jared Leto's Angelface in "Fight Club"), but crazy is not always funny. If you watch this film without focusing on finding humor where it is not, "VFW" is a nice change of pace from the overtly outlandish genre.

The visual style fits perfectly with the grindhouse genre. It is grainy and dirty. There are times where a little light could have helped the flick out, but when you are paying six legendary performers (Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, Martin Kove, David Patrick Kelly, and George Wendt), interior lights can be considered a budgetary luxury. My only issue with the budget is they did not give John Ratzenberger a seat at the bar. Maybe Pixar said no.

To accompany the grime, you have a John Carpenteresque score. I may need to rewatch this after stating that because outside of the action, there is a lot of generic metal on the soundtrack. For the director, Joe Begos, this is the best compliment I think I can offer. It felt so much like "Prince of Darkness" or "Assault of Precint 13" that my brain going to a synthesizer default means you have captured greatness with this homage.

The most important thing about "VFW" is that it looks like everyone is having fun. There have definitely been better Sadler, Williamson, and Kelly performances, but this is not high art. It is a payday and probably a brief one at that. I find that it can be very charming for a film to feel like they just went out and shot it and were then done with it...

Hence why I am trying to make "Main Event of the Dead" my first feature. If you want to help me out, drop russthebus07@gmail.com an email.

There are a lot of features that try to gather a bunch of once beloved stars together to make some bank solely based on nostalgia. About 50% of the time, they decide to just give these actors a check but no screenplay. "VFW" is not one of those features.

"VFW" is aware that it is putting great and always competent actors in a place where there charms can carry the ridiculous. This allows everyone an in when it comes to watching this film. After they are in, be it gore, nostalgia, or action, everyone will find something great and should leave happy. You leave really wishing that blockbusters focused on being instant classics instead of being risk-less cash grabs.