NinetyForChill - The Podcast: Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison vs. @CatBusRuss and @QuidPro_Joe (Part 2)

       Film Researched for this Episode: Bulletproof (1996)

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 20: Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison vs. @CatBusRuss and @QuidPro_Joe (Part 2)

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@QuidPro_Joe and I conclude our conversation that started with Adam Sandler's golden age that kicked off with "Billy Madison" and ended with "Little Nicky". We learn about his recent Vudu purchase from the Sandler filmography and how "The Longest Yard" created a need for him to express the joy that the former "Saturday Night Live" performer has provided him.

 

And since it was the 85-minute mark of the conversation, the booze may have taken hold. We go from trying to defend the Sandler's cameos in obnoxious Rob Schneider movies to trying to determine our favorite sub 100-minute features that he starred in. That may have been the goal of the podcast, but when we leaned towards "The Wedding Singer" the podcast goes off the rails as Joe tells us how "Wonder Women 84" tried too hard to capture the 1980s.

 

Reminiscent for the 80's, we go on to talk about everything Generation X and Millennials can relate to. We discuss 80's music (and how it kind of sucked), space operas like "Flash Gordon", "Star Wars", and "Star Trek", and why movies that are being sent to HBO Max are so damn long.

Outside of our conversation, I give my opinion on the well-meaning nature of Mitchell Whitt's "Morbidly Macabre" podcast episode about Chris Benoit. And since I am mentioning wrestling here, this is the first time on audio that I pitch for Marty Scurll's return to professional wrestling. If that does not get me cancelled, the apologetic review of "Bulletproof's" sense of humor might.

This is an eventful podcast episode because Joe and I are just going off the cuff. If you want the hot takes on Todd Phillips and his moronic fans who have lead to the greenlighting of "Joker 2" or need to know the level of my kink, episode 20 should satisfy.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com, @coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Death Race 2000 - Has Hollywood Missed the Point?

 

I happen to be a fan of director Paul W.S. Anderson, but he has a horrid tendency of missing the point. That is apparent with the direction of the "Resident Evil" franchise (Why would anyone write a film that brings out the worst from Russell Mulcahy?). There was his good "AVP" film that should have targeted an R-Rating just to prevent its bad and overly violent sequel.

Anderson's most recent flawed tale is "Death Race", an action drama without the camp/best elements of the film it was based on "Death Race 2000". It also lacked the dark humor and dead pedestrians. Since Uwe Boll has not obtained the rights to "Carmageddon", why would one abandon the grindhouse feel of this David Carradine/Sylvester Stallone classic?

The American way is to embrace violence, so say the president of the totalitarian United American Provinces. What better way to do so than by hosting an annual transcontinental rally known as the Death Race?

The nation's five best racers: Calamity Jane, Nero the Hero, Matilda the Hun, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo, and the rebuilt Frankenstein, will race across the country, from New York to New Los Angeles. Of course with so many miles to cover, the race would be pretty boring if they did not encourage running down the poor saps who happen to be on or near the routes. It is the first true sport that it is not about winning or losing, but how you choose to maim.

"Death Race 2000" shows how America has lost its sense of fun and imagination. Everything today is bleak as if we have given up because there is no threat of Russian Imperialism or American Fascism (The first draft of this review was written in 2010.). Our governments are stable and anarchy has no chance of changing the landscape of things to come. Marshall law or the kill or be killed mindset is just too impractical. It make me wonder how the "Escape From New York" remake will be worthwhile.

"Death Race 2000" is a vintage B-movie that may feature the only truly villainous Sylvester Stallone. Most of the budget must have went into designing the cars because the sets are beyond cheesy.

For the most part, the film delivers on action but we are kind of let down by anti-climatic deaths of the drivers. There is plenty of collateral damage, but no true car on car violence. This is a film where you want to joyfully cringe at the carnage. There is no room for a funny ha ha kill of our primary cast.

Aside from that, you cannot help but enjoy the premise and the tacky Roger Corman nature. It holds nothing back in terms of being gratuitous making it a brilliant grindhouse picture.

"Death Race 2000" is a prime example of the freedom cinema once had. A film for video game fans and anyone else with an American dark...black sense of humor. Nothing is tame about this film and the filmmakers need to start embracing that attitude once again.

 

Death Race 2000 by Jeremy Wheeler

 

NinetyForChill - The Podcast: Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison vs. @CatBusRuss and @QuidPro_Joe (Part 1)

Films Researched for this Episode: Johnny Handsome (1989), Bedtime Stories (2008), and Hotel Transylvania (2012).

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 19: Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison vs. @CatBusRuss and @QuidPro_Joe (Part 1)

Read more: https://html.com/media/#ixzz6jIeBsAn5

@QuidPro_Joe returns to stand up for the career of Adam Sandler, or at the very least remind us of the 10 years where he was the most reliable cinematic comic. If only Jim Carrey did not take himself so seriously.

 

We discuss how Adam Sandler's classics stack up to Chris Farley's. Another guest expresses more love for Paul Thomas Anderson's "Magnolia" which gives us a chance to reexamine everything from 1999. This includes a discussion that puts "Fight Club" in a battle with "Big Daddy". Who was the better teacher: Durden of Sandler?

 

The first half of our conversation covers all of the filmography of features that were just over 90 minutes. I cannot wait to rediscover how the two of us were able to keep chatting for another 90 minutes on top of that. I hope you enjoy some wrestling banter and tales of theater hopping to embrace R-rated features and Robert Rodriguez.

I do have to ponder after Mitchell Whitt's "Morbidly Macabre" podcast dropped and episode about Chris Benoit if I should delve into the wrestling podcast realm. Anyone up to host that...and watch at least six hours of wrestling a week? Drop me an email with a strategy at russthebus07@gmail.com.

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestion on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com, @coolmoviesdarth) If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

Bioshock Big Daddy and Little Sisters by  PaulRomanMartinez

90 Minute Family Video: "Absolon" and "The Ballad of Vinnie Jones"

I guess there are films that feature Vinnie Jones that I do not want to see. This is my latest discovery thanks to a month (Summer 2009) of trying to dedicate more time to renting instead of buying DVDs.

"Bog Body (Legend of the Bog)" seems to be too Syfy Original for my taste (With a pre-WWE Sheamus in the film, I thought it was a fair assumption. It was not that ridiculous), and "Strike" starring Tara Reid must be wretched. You cannot bill Reid and expect a film to work. It only took E! one season to figure that out. The point is, unlike "X-Men: The Last Stand", "Hell Ride" and "Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball", Vinnie's presence has no chance of making these films worthwhile.

The lack of any Vinnie-tastic flair in the new releases leaves me going through the two-for-one dollar section at Family Video to find something interesting. Who knew Christopher Lambert has a movie that started with the Letter A? Sorry, I must have blocked "Adrenalin" from my mind. Come on. I cannot be the only one to think the "Species" chick was going to have a career outside of the series?

I still approach "Absolon" with some discretion. Lou Diamond Philips is no Ice Tea (Albert Pyun's "Mean Guns") and Canadian sci-fi is always an iffy investment (David Cronenberg's "Shivers" and "The Brood", regardless of opinion, can attest to that statement.) All it took was the director of my favorite Bond film, (and nudity from that film's Bond girl) to buy a 25 cent VHS copy of "Point Men" starring Lambert. That investment worked out, so I should have a little fate in the premier "Highlander".

And, you cannot say no to Ron Perlman. I have tried.

I did end up renting "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" and I sat through "Rats" on USA. You cannot mock those decisons if you are patient with Bruce Campbell, so how can this decision backfire? Christopher Lambert plus another above Bruce-lister should equal cinematic joy. "Absolon" fits the equation and fifty cents seemed like a fair price.

In 2010 (take that 2012), a virus wiped out five billion people and led to the collapse of all the economies around the world. No cure for NDS (neural degeneration syndrome) could be found, but a drug called Absolon was developed which would allow for individuals to live a normal life with the disease.

Absolon also led to a currency to revive economies. People are paid in time. If one runs out of time, they no longer get the drug, so poverty becomes a death sentence.

The man who discovered NDS and Absolon was murdered and his research stolen. Det. Scott (Lambert) is assigned the case. When he discovers that the victim had found a cure for the virus, he becomes the target of the World Justice Department. To make matters worse, the victim's lab assistant had inoculated him with the first half of the cure's formula. If he wants to save himself, and the world, he must find the other half of the cure in the next three days.

Writer Brad Mirman has had some good ideas, but they are not enough to produce a great final project. It seems a bit criminal that his final drafts get put on film. I say that because the scripts for "Absolon" and two other Christopher Lambert films he wrote could make for some great B-movies.

With the frequency of bad flicks, it seems like we cannot hold the music video director who take on his projects back. Mirman may just be trying to give them a break into a new format. This is a pretty scary concept. To believe there is someone out there who wonders, "What would Russell McCauly do?", I would prefer not.

And when I said some good ideas earlier, that means a premise for a film. After that, his desperation attacks all five senses with poor attempts at plot twists and ripping off lines from other Lambert films in an effort to get his trademarked laughs in to the script to make up for the lack of any effort to lighten the mood.

Speaking of ripping off Lambert's "Highlander" legacy, Director David Barto grabs a fight scene from one of them. That fight scene is the elderly McLeod versus the punks from "Highlander 2". To his credit, he knew how to recreate it on the cheap. Until the climatic one-on-one battle with Lou Diamond Phillips, that is the complaint one can have with the direction. This serves as an indication that Barto does not have the patience to direct a film since his background is storyboard artistry.

I might have to pop "Blade II" into the DVD player before I can say he was not trying. The disc may have some of his boards hidden with the bonus material. It would distress me to find out that he is not into delivering detail to his work. But when the future only means fluorescent hair highlights for the girls in "Absolon", why would we think otherwise.

As for the direction of the climax, it only seems that he was so focused on showing us how very small elements will determine the outcome, and thus loses track of the simple punch, punch, trip, nut shot action. If we had learned anything from the days of 80's action, continuity can be ignored for the sake of enjoyment.

If there is one thing that is good about "Absolon" is that the script does not challenge any of the actors. Phillips can be the hip Chicano, Perlman can be the just pick one of his memorable roles of the oughts (Hellboy, Reinhardt from "Blade II", his sniper from "Enemy at the Gate") and not even put in a whole day on set, and Lambert is Lambert.

The only person who has difficulty with their role is Kelly Brook as the English Dr. Claire Whittaker. It may have been that she was too young for the role (i.e. Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in "007: The World is Not Enough"), but she does not deliver any dialogue with conviction. Just because Ron, Chris and Lou do not have to, does not mean you are excused.

Then, she did have to do a love scene with a man she is half the age of. This was when I finally got pissed at the rental. You got to be at least an A-lister to get away with that. Sorry Christopher, I got to finally call bullshit.

"Absolon lacks the heart and script to overcome its disease. Christopher Lambert and Ron Perlman did not let me down with their efforts, just their decision making. That goes for anyone who decided to drag something out of a script that is only as good as its outline.

magazinecanteen.com

https://magazinecanteen.com/products/arena-magazine-3-christopher-lambert-1987

<<< 90 min DVD - "The Happytime Murders": 3.5' of Story

 

90-Min Family Video - Laid to Rest: Sloppy in a Good Way

 

90-Min Family Video - Laid to Rest: Sloppy in a Good Way

A masked killer(s) maybe the lamest premise for a horror film. If not the lamest, that the simplest and most over done. But, as long as the violence is over the top, the feature has potential. No matter how crappy the editing, a film like "Laid to Rest" has potential.

 

 

A girl wakes up in a coffin at a Deep Southern funeral home. She is able to escape this portable tomb, but murder after vicious murder follows her. All of these killings are executed by a knife-wielding psycho sporting a chrome mask of a skull and a GoPro camera. Where is a amnesiac to hide in a town with no phones, only a few houses, and a convenience store?

Story wise "Laid to Rest" offers nothing new to the direct-to-DVD horror market, but it is so over the top that is easy to enjoy.

The gore is stepped up to a realism only reserved for war movies (or Italian horror). What puts it over the top is that it revels in its tackiness. Sawing off heads with a knife, using tire sealant to kill. Events like those make one wonder if MacGuyver is the guy under the mask.

Obviously, this film cannot be taken seriously for a second. It does hurt the story since we are never given any clues to the killers motives. There is no force of nature trying to balance the world like vibe that a Hannibal Lector or Anton Chigurh possess. He just kills and we are not supposed to ponder why. With that flaw, the ridiculousness of the feature means it can really only be considered comedic. This makes "Laid to Rest" A good B-move, but perhaps a lousy horror flick. Especially when it tries to shock you with the narrative.

Luckily, the film has enough sense to embrace the "unintentional" humor. You may not feel much for the characters, but you will enjoy guessing what their tongue-in-cheek demise will be.

"Laid to Rest" is a DVD whose box art is too intense for its nature. It should not be presented as the next horror franchise, but as a gornographic laugh fest that is in on the joke. If that was the intention, this feature is close to being deemed a classic. If not, then welcome to the made for "Mystery Science Theater Three Thousand" aisle that every video retailer should establish.

 

@bquack_1 - Pinterest

 

 

NinetyForChill dot Com - The Podcast: Mitchell Macabre at the "Dance of the Dead" (Part 2)

   

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 18: Mitchell Macabre at the "Dance of the Dead" (Part 2)

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Mitchell Whitt from the "Morbidly Macabre" podcast and I conclude our conversation about 2008's "Dance of the Dead". We talk about its strong and beyond appropriate gore effects, how it stacks up against other zombie comedies like "Fido" and "Dead Snow", and how we have to get the theater business, at least on the Champaign/Urbana level, ready to blow the minds of those who will coming back to Ebert Fest.

There are some tangents like all good podcast should have, and I was a little bit naughtier than I should have been when it came to explicit language. Fear not irresponsible parents. All of the words used on this finalized podcast have been featured on Public Broadcast Stations. Oh how I love the importing of British comedy. It is silly that it is a good thing for BBC America to have lost its way.

 

And I will say, it was a relevant weekend when it came to this podcast. Mitchell had just gotten married on Saturday (I am sure his registry on Amazon and Target have some items they could use that their guests did not claim.). Finding out about Mitchell's family living in Jacksonville lead to a New Jack story (Rest in Peace). And to further display my knowledge of low-budget zombie movies, I revisited "Last Rites of the Dead" a.k.a. "Zombies Anonymous".

I also got to listen to the latest "Morbidly Macabre" episode about the Columbine School Shooting. If you really want to know what makes Mitchell tick, it is a must listen. As for the history of the topic, they nail down all the important details while walking a dangerous line of when or not empathy may have been warranted for the two boys.

You really get to know the two of us, me on deeper level, and our love for cinema. And we share our depression about The Art Theater no longer being in operation. If you want to suggest some means to resolve this issue or be a podcast guest (You just need a sub 100-minute movie as this episode shows.) send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

And for those who recall "The Student of the Game", there is a bit of wrestling talked about at the end of the cast. If you still are not aware of my thoughts about Chris Benoit and the Hart family tragedies, this is your opportunity. I wonder if it helps explain my sympathy towards certain wrestlers who seem to be persona non grata when there are plenty of other wrestlers who inspire questions who still get to make a living. That will be a blog for another time on MainEventOfTheDead.com.

A guest has been lined up for next week's episode, tentatively about the sub 100-minute filmography of Adam Sandler. Was it all down hill from "Punch Drunk Love" to "Uncut Gems"? We will find out. Thanks for visiting.

90-minute Walmart - "Near Dark": The Teenage Vampire Standard

 

Is it weird to say that director Kathryn Bigelow is an innovator? She deserves the title being the first woman to with the Best Director Academy Award, but she was not the first nominee, and she is best known for her genre flicks "Near Dark" and "Point Break".

These genre films are what make her an innovator. Nothing brilliant has come from the extreme sport FBI genre (Sorry Vin Diesel), but when it comes to the vampire love story genre, "Near Dark" showed Hollywood how it should be done.

Caleb is your typical Oklahoman teenager who should be thinking about signing up for agriculture classes at the local junior college. He drives his truck, raises horses, and enjoys "exciting" trips into town to act like the "King of the Hill" gang. Everything changes on one of these trips where he tries to win over the mysterious new girl in town, Mae. The only thing she lets Caleb in on is her obsession with the night.

Attached to this obsession are instincts she cannot resist which results in her taking a nip out of Caleb's neck. This leave Caleb trapped in a world that is controlled by the will of vampire Jessie Hooker. Unwilling to join these killers, he must either find a way to survive and stay with Mae or find a way to get back to his family and return to the normal.

With his family trying to track him down, hopefully Caleb will come to terms with his fate before his father and sister meet his new crew.

 Anybody know where I could stream Near Dark? - Reddit

"Near Dark" is the most believable vampire adolescence films produced. It works as an action movie, a coming of age tale, and an 80's horror classic.

As long as the audience has an idea of what small town living is like, relating to the characters is easy. We understand Caleb's dilemma and Mae's rebellious nature, and we pull for both to figure this existence out. The Southern charm also gives is a feel on an American fairy tale like "The Wizard of Oz".

With that Great Plains feel, the antagonists are brilliant and the character actors involved (Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton and the rest of the USS Solaco's crew) are perfect. These West Texas vampires are the right kind of decadents that Americans can relate too, and show that there should not be anything romantic about hominus nocturna.

To further make sure the audience does not respond too much to the romance, the soundtrack by Tangerine Dream gives the film an Argento-esque feel that Goblin provided for his most highly-praised films. Like "Suspiria" it turns the story into a twisted folk tale.

Great direction, story, soundtrack and ensemble cast make "Near Dark" the most under appreicated vampire films of the past 40 years. It is a great early entry in the filmography of Kathryn Bigelow, and it demonstrates her understanding of what she is filming. If you liked any of her other films or vampire movies in general, "Near Dark" is a must see.

DevonDrawsHorror - Etsy

 

We Are 138: "9 Dead"...We Wish

 

It is good to know that there are cerebral films being made that require nil in terms of special effects, gore, or action. That statement is more of a comment about the principle that we can film 90 minutes of people talking because if you do not have gore and actions, you have to present a brilliant story. Brilliance and Melissa Joan Hart are two terms that will never star in a film together. (Finding out how proud she was to be involved with "God's Not Dead 2" solidifies that as fact.)

MTV.com - 47 Reasons Salem From 'Sabrina The Teenage Witch' Is Your Spirit Animal

Nine people have been kidnapped by a rogue, taser-toting Blue Man Group member. They all regain consciousness in a windowless room, each handcuffed to a pole. The pissed off Smurf introduces them to his game and provides the rules.

The nine victims have 10 minutes to determine the reason why they have been imprisoned together. If they figure it out, they will all go free and their captor will confess his crimes to the police. Failure to determine the reason will result in one of them being killed, but they will receive another 10 minutes to find out what they have in common. This process will continue until they solve the puzzle or there are no more players left.

SPOILER ALERT: The movie clocks in at 98 minutes. If you take into account the first act and time between intervals, you know at least a couple will figure this game out. Especially when the French version is only 83 minutes long.

"Nine Dead" is definitely the most anticlimactic torture flick. Unless you want to classify it as noir (Please spare that genre.), it can only be associated with the "Saws", "Hostels" and gruesome foreign fare, at least that is how it seems to have been advertised. It fails to realize the pay offs to an execution need to be awesome or unique kills. So after one guy's squib blows up over his shirt, the film just becomes boring.

If we had dynamic characters or performances, we may root for someone's survival. Because we do not want any of them to survive, the movie drags as we wait for someone to take a round above the waist.

The story itself is way too simple and linear. Throughout the tale, characters keep asking each other to stay on track. This screenwriter, Patrick Wehe Mahoney, must not have understood "Saw", "Se7en"  or "Revenge of the Sith" because for a story like this to work, the scheme has to have a larger scale. Otherwise, you do not empathize with the villain. You wind up thinking he is just a petty asshole.

As for directing and editing, this is on par with junior college first assignments. Since Chris Shadley has been in pictures for six years, the direction is inexcusable when you are working with just one set.

"Nine Dead" shows us that despite Rob Van Dam and Dave Bautista's best efforts, Baton Rouge is not the new Hollywood of the east. Shadley's film is part of a genre that is dependent on shocking the audience, but there are no thrills to be seen. The film promised the emotional destruction of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Everyone want to see that, but thankfully, no distributor picked up this damn near criminal let down.

IMDB.com - 9 Dead

 

 

NinetyForChill dot Com - The Podcast: Mitchell Macabre at the "Dance of the Dead" (Part 1)

  Films Researched for this Episode: Dance of the Dead (2008) and Isle of Dogs (2010).

Dance of the Dead DVD - Ebay (rectus72)

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 17: Mitchell Macabre at the "Dance of the Dead" (Part 1)

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A normal episode was promised this week, but 2 hours and 40 minutes later, we have arrived at our first two-part podcast. Ironic since this was the first episode that was going to be dedicated solely to one feature, in this case 2008's "Dance of the Dead".

Mitchell Whitt from the "Morbidly Macabre" podcast found that he was not alone when it came to the appreciation of "Dance of the Dead", a Ghost House Underground feature that was directed by Gregg Bishop ("The Other Side" and "V/H/S Viral") and written by Joe Ballarini ("A Babysitter's Guide to Monster Hunting"). Ghost House Pictures was founded by "Evil Dead" and "Spider-Man" director Sam Raimi and his producer Robert Tapert, so it was only natural to be drawn to a feature their money was behind with humor and ridiculous zombies to fight.

 

This led to a conversation that explores both of our experiences in high school. We discuss the concepts of: how prom really affects teenagers, the importance of trauma to really force us to grow up, and how we both ended up at one point or another in blue shirts with yellow tags. "Dance of the Dead" features characters that reminds all white kids how great it is to be done with public education.

This is a movie podcast, so we were wise enough to talk about the movies that made us like "Fight Club", "Choke", and the Coen Brothers. All of this did led to a conversation about which film of Joel and Ethan was number one in their filmography.

You really get to know the two of us, me on deeper level, and our love for cinema. And we share our depression about The Art Theater no longer being in operation. If you want to suggest some means to resolve this issue or be a podcast guest (You just need a sub 100-minute movie as this episode shows.) send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

We will conclude this conversation next week. I hope we keep maintain interest till then. Thanks.

Gravedigger from Dance of the Dead by  tintallin

90 min. Netflix "4 Got 10": Once Upon a Time with Zero Whimsey

 

a.k.a. "The Good, the Bad and the Dead"

It is a lot of work, but you need to do a little research once you say to yourself, "This could be fun." If a film has two titles, skip it. This will require both IMDb and Wikipedia, but until WWE licenses a Bray Wyatt montage before Nefllix's direct to DVD acquisitions, how will you know when to run.

Dated Wrestling Rant:

And that's how you increase your shareholders profits Vince McMahon. If you take that money and buy the "Broken Universe" from Anthem, the stock might result in a $1 dividend. GFW will survive as well. Preventing bad Dolph Lundgren flicks from being viewed is best for business.

Back to a tale of Wasting of Danny Trejo:

It is obvious a drug deal has gone bad. A used car parking lot (if not a car lot, a lot with a Martin Luther King Blvd address) with a corpse for each bumper serves as an homage to the desert standard "No Country for Old Men" set. Adding title cards for each archetype is usually the indications of an action flick with clever ambitions. Unfortunately, there is no witty dialogue when the sheriff (Michael Pare) shoots his deputy to go James Brolin on us only to receive a life-threatening shot to the ear from an amnesiac survivor (Johnny "Eric Young should have best cast" Messner). To keep the audience thinking, director Timothy Woodard Jr (who seems to have taken inspiration stylistically from Uwe Boll) is going to use a twist for every scene.

The primary twist is not the amnesia gimmick, it is the fact that the dead deputy is the rebellious son of Mateo Perez (Danny Motherlov'n Trejo), the biggest drug dealer the DEA has ever known. Perez will be on a quest for vengeance, the sheriff is out to save his own neck, and Rooker (Lungren) is trying to put the pieces together. With so many supporting players, the clueless amnesiac is suppose to hold the film together. Too bad there is not the necessary nudity or action sequences to amuse us on his quest to regain his memory.

"4 Got 10" has a shorter plot synopsis than "Death Squad", so that means it will be less painful. If you can endure the first 70 minutes, where only three rounds are fired, you will be rewarded with "MST3K" worthy, slow-motion-dependent action sequences. You may never curse Zack Snyder again. #releasethesnydercut

Woodward must have been desperate to avoid this film from being labeled a short. The overuse of slo-mo is so bad that you can see the stuntman's flammable gel before he goes up in smoke while still holding his own in a fire fight. If the humor was more than Lundgren digging through a truck stop trash can, we could have had a so bad it is good film.

"4 Got 10" is evidence that all screenwriters should follow the page a minute rule. If Sean Ryan did this, there would have been no reward in sitting through this garbage. Hence, it would not have been made. With that said, try googling "Danny Trejo slow-mo gun fight" and you may receive the fruit of this labor without wasting so much time.

Perhaps "4 Got 10" is the Li'l Bub of bad movies. No, that is probably "The Beast of Hollow Mountain" which is part of Netflix's "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return." Netflix has you taken care of regardless.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c6/45/ac/c645acaaf4923f911c3f099876fd4690.jpg