Saw 3D (The Final Chapter): Star Trek of Horror?

"Saw" had just reached the same number of "Star Trek (Original Series)" films. With an open ending that may introduce a new character to focus on (Antagonist or protagonist is dependent upon you interpretation of John Kramer's mission.) like "Star Trek: Generations", a new series maybe created. But what makes "Saw" most like "Trek" is that there maybe a number curse to the series (This review was written after seeing this film in theaters.) That is a bit of a stretch since "Saw" and "Saw 5" are worthwhile, but with the quality of this feature, Twisted Pictures may as well called this one "Saw 7"

Det. Hoffman is still carrying on Kramer's work, but vengeance clouds his mind. I suppose having half your face ripped open by Jill Tuck, Kramer's wife and fellow game practitioner, will do that. While Bobby, a man who has become famous by claiming to be a Jigsaw survivor, is being tested, Jigsaw's last known apprentice is planning to settle his score with Tuck and a rival detective from internal affairs.

Hopefully, that description of "Saw 3D: The Final Chapter" did not spoil anything for you. This simplicity maybe what holds the film back from being worthwhile despite brilliant makeup and 3D effects.

The best films in the series are dependent upon being more clever than brutal. "Saw 3D", being the final chapter, horror aficionados Melton and Dunstan felt it was more important to get every gross thing we had not seen than providing a enjoyable story.

To claim this film as awesome, you may need to be a perverse individual. You have to solely enjoy gore. This "Saw" does not justify why it is inescapable. Extreme gore is fun, but only if there is a good reason for it. This is why the first two "Feast" films (written by Dunstan and Melton) were fun, and the third making us call bullshit.

Perhaps Costas Mandylor was misused while Tobin Bell was underused. This film has the highest body count of the series (and perhaps equal to all of the films combined). Most of them are innocents which is unlike the past films while Hoffman is near super human in his march for vengeance. Not only do the games' contestants have hopeless situations, anyone who is not the murderer is as well.

The best thing about "Saw 3D" is the use of 3D. As long as there are thing being constantly thrown at the audience, we ignore how poor the direction is. The traps are also suspenseful, but that may be due to wanting to see at least one person get away.

Do I want there to be a "Saw 8"? Yes, the ending offers a potentially brilliant Jigsaw and there have to still be some great trap ideas left. But like "Saw 4", we need new blood to revive the story.

"Saw 3D is not the worst of the franchise, but it is clear that Patrick Melton and Mark Dunstan have run out of ideas for this franchise. We maybe out of fake blood as well (This is before the abundance of CG blood, so I may have predicted that). With a series that does not require a real villain, how can we be out of good stuff?

Saw 3-D - AllPosters.com

Evangelion 1.01: You Can(not) Overlook

 Am I crazy for entertaining the concept of reinventing the "Star Wars" trilogy? Trekkies gave into J.J. Abrams's concept and ended up embracing it, and the flaws of Lucas's scripts are quite prevalent.

Blasphemy. Well, we would all like to reboot the "Saga". No one can deny that, but when it comes to near perfection (with the exception of "Return of the Jedi"), why bother?

It is because we are starved for greatness and we will take our chances. That is why Hideaki Anno's reboot of "Evangelion" captured the world of anime's attention.

Shinji Ikari has been called to Tokyo-3 by his neglectful father Gendo. When he arrives, the city is under a military state of emergency and a battle with a giant monster ensues. After he is rescued by his chaperone, Lt. Col. Misato Katsuragi, he his escorted to Nerv's headquarters to find out his father's expectations. The primary one of these is for this 14 year-old to pilot a giant robot called Evangelion Unit 01 to defeat the monster.

 Should he fail, humanity is lost. But not being able to appreciate his own existence, why should Shinji care about the fate of mankind?

"Evangelion 1.01" is nearly identical in character design to the original television show, but it is far more than just a special edition of the first six episodes. This is a more concise version of the "Evangelion" story with an atmosphere that is more fitting of the dark conclusions of the initial series.

All of the mecha and kaiju have been visually upgraded and the theatrical budge is evident. Since budget held back the production quality of the first series, fans should definitely appreciate the upgrades. That is provided that they can get past the first two acts of the story being exactly like the first four episodes.

It can be frustrating that the "Rebuild of Evangelion's" story does not begin until act three, especially since the comic interactions between Shinji and the supporting cast are all but eliminated. The charm and optimism are removed, so those who did not appreciate the previous two endings that Anno had provided us, they may be left upset.

Those frustrations are worth enduring for the brilliant third act. The new vision and hints of what is coming up left me salivating for the film's sequel. On top of that, the action and drama sequences are greater than anything presented in the first half of the television series.

"Evangelion 1.01" is a great experience that promises even more to come. It provides incite into Anno's true vision that was confined to the restraints of 90's television. It is a darker journey, but well worth enduring for the reward of a new future for the franchise.

 

Rhb_RBS
 

 

 

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - Vampires and the Vulgar Critiques of a Demented Podcaster

  Films Researched for this Episode: The Breed (2001).

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 24: Vampires and the Vulgar Critiques of a Demented Podcaster

I have been asking for weeks for assistance in composing an episode dedicated to vampire features like "The Lost Boys" trilogy, "Near Dark", and the "Underworld" movies. Here is to hoping that this bunch of critiques will stir up some inspiration in my audience to step up and hold off on the garlic. If this is a topic you up for discussing, feel free to send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All I need is a half hour on Zoom to get this done.

This episode provides us with a couple of bloodsucking reviews. It is fun to see that I sounded a bit more forgiving to the Adrian Paul and Bookeem Woodbine starring feature, "The Breed". Being distributed by Sony, perhaps this could be considered a prototype for Len Wiseman's "Underworld". It might have been too early for western wire-fu for this feature to successfully blend "Interview with the Vampire" and "The Matrix". Stay out of the Warner Brothers' lane I suppose.

The other vampire feature I reviewed was for my original YouTube channel, thaidurden (Witness Ally from Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy awkwardly shoot my audition to be AEW's Librarian.) I am just showing off my hominus nocturna knowledge by critiquing "John Carpenter's Vampire". It is fun, but too mainstream to make the top half of his filmography.

To put a cherry on top of this episode, I fulfill my promise from last week to access The Five-Star Review Library of Letterboxd's ThePoeticCritic. After a bunch of scrolling (I am still getting use to the layout of that website), "The Old Dark House" from 1932 is what I eventually stumbled upon. If you liked "Titanic", this Boris Karloff film features Gloria Stewart in a leading role. Thinking about how she must have been aged up for the James Cameron film may distract you from the edginess this horror classic has to offer.

As of this publication, a guest has been lined up for next week's episode. We are going to tackle a feature that was sorely missed from "Episode 15: When in Doubt, Take It To the Outer Space (Opera)". That feature being Mel Brook's "Spaceballs".

 

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

 

 

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

@losquellaspia - Pinterest

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters": Alphabetical Viewing Is Flawed

 

How I did I miss out on the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" movie until two years after its release? It may have been too early for Adult Swim to release a film. It was 2006/2007, and when you add the failure of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's "Grindhouse", the general public was not ready to enjoy the charm of low-budget projects.

Thanks Quentin for fucking up everything you worked so hard to display. "Inglourious Basterds" may have been a spaghetti western, but with the production values of the project, it will only take true fans to appreciate the low-brow goals. The masses are asses.

Unlike the "Grindhouse", with just its limited animation, no one understood why people would see it after it tanked in its opening weekend. The cartoon that was with me through my decline into total loserdom performed no better than a "Forbidden Dance" flick, so maybe I was just struck too hard by this.

To pour salt in this wound, I never saw this disc for less that $20, so I eventually sold myself into accepting that it may not have been for me. I cannot be the fan they were looking for since I would not fork over the same cash I could spend on a season box set. Perhaps I should have just come to terms that I may never see this film.

For the past month (2009), I had renting a lot of movies. And a fair share of them, no one should pick up. If I am going to claim that I am a better critic than the punks from "That Guy with the Glasses" and justify my demand for a variety of B-movies to be shown at the Peoria Theater, I must give every, "this maybe cool" title a chance. Since I am only in the A's at Morton's video store, what other options do I immediately have anyway. I just hope ATHFCMFFT does not ruin the last couple of seasons for me.

I am a Cubs fan, so I hold grudges, and I will be pissed if ATHF did not deserve anything after this film. After watching "Absolon", it is just too much of a hassle to find out who will give me four hours back.

Frylock is determined to find out where he came from. Meatwad wants to get laid. Master Shake wants to get buff. Carl's Insanoflex seems to hold all these answers, but obtaining them will be quite the task.

The Mechanized Ghost of Christmas, the Plutonians, and the Mooninites are trying to possess the powers of the demonic exercise equipment as well. Will the answers be found? Will good conquer evil? Or will there be pointless casualties and just pissed off survivors?

So...ATHFCMFFT clocks in at 87 minutes. That is a minute short of eight television episodes. It would have probably have been more worthwhile to take that approach instead of the original "Battlestar Galatica's" movie treatment. The premise should not have been stretched to a full-length feature.

The film is funny throughout, but with such limited characters and a weak story, maintaining interest in the humor is tough. ATHFCMFFT's script is just one liners, so the film is nothing more than a joke book, and only the bored (or drunk) will take the time to read this book cover-to-cover.

There are a few great bits of animation that deserve more than being wasted on an ATHF episode, but most are at the beginning of the movie. The lobby snack film parody should be played before every movie. ATHFCMFFT gets the viewer in a to a state where we are open to suggestion before it takes the date too far. Physically, you do not feel much, but the mental scars remain.

The minds behind "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" may not deserve this harsh criticism. They only made the mistake of forgetting that "Monty Python" did a sketch comedy feature before they gained the ambition to make their latter pictures.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters" was just overly ambitious and suffers for that. No matter how many Rush members provide cameos, there is nothing that makes this film a must watch.

www.skiress.com

https://www.skiress.com/the-drum-solo-of-everyday-living-neil-peart-on-aqua-teen-hunger-power-unbelievable/

 

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - ThePoeticCritic's Cinematic Chicken Salad

        Films Researched for this Episode: London Town (2016)

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 23: ThePoeticCritic's Cinematic Chicken Salad

Read more: https://html.com/media/#ixzz6jIeBsAn5

Not wanting to continue on with abbreviated episodes, Letterboxd's ThePoeticCritic was kind of enough to return to the podcast. The only issue was, what were we going to talk about? Fortunately, as long as it involves cinema, there maybe no greater mind for film history in the Heart of Illinois than that of my big sister.

She could be the Steve Austin of amateur film experts. I think she does a great job taking the chicken poo that I laid out in front of her and turning it into chicken salad. The cost for this mayo-free meal for the mind, her having me watch the Cinema Snob's review for "Captain America" 1990.

 

 

It just feels wrong for having her deprive me of a virginal Albert Pyun experience. As a fan of his schlock, there is only so much I have yet to see. I am trying to recall an unwatchable feature from his (Notice that I did not use the term good.) filmography. Hell, "Heatseeker" is a film that I am still trying to track down. Does anyone know where to stream it? After purchasing a HDMI splitter and a HDMI to Composite adapter to copy all my AEW purchases that are soon to be lost, there is no reason I cannot secure myself a grainy copy of this grainy feature that never made it to DVD.

My apologies if I lost you during that rant, but let me throw this out there. Albert Pyun directed the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic "Cyborg" and at least two of the "Kickboxer" sequels. Surely someone else appreciates his Cannon Group qualities as much as I do. Hence, who is up for a podcast about his works. Volunteers can send their emails to russthebus07@gmail.com.

 

My older sister has primarily been catching up on movies from the 1980's, but when she became aware that I have been trying to get an episode about vampire movies off the ground, she was more than willing to offer up her limited knowledge on the topic. Our discussion about "The Lost Boys" and Joel Schumacher does not get to heated because it was so easy to talk up the importance of "Near Dark" and how that the film has many parallel's with other Kathryn Bigelow features.

Through this conversation, I got to see a more liberal and open side of my big sis. We get to have a discussion about the absurdist humor of John Waters and how Woody Allen, for better or worse, is one of his closest contemporaries (Style wise, not personally). This also leads me to ask if we needed a more absurd Stanley Kubrick. What sounds better: A nuclear holocaust or a pie fight? Which way would you like the world to end?

We also again tackle how #FilmTwitter may have too many woke keyboard warriors wanting Hollywood to produce the most inoffensive entertainment. The problem is, Disney is more than happy to give it to them. Basically, I try my best to call for Critical Race Theory to be brought to film school while TPC hopes for more indie features to course correct the industry.

In the end, it turns out to be fitting that I include my review for "London Calling", a brilliantly chosen addition from Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Reviews. At this time, we may need to deify Joe Strummer.

With that said, I have been prepping myself for a vampire-themed episode. Thus, it will not be hard for me to come up with an "preview" episode to get the audience pumped for it. If someone will let me know that they are game for talking about "Lost Boys" and "Near Dark", we will have plenty of time to record it. Just drop russthebus07@gmail.com an email. Thanks.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com, @coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death: The Reason I Kept Renting Instead of Buying

Finally, directors are utilizing the ultimate kick ass chick, Zoe Bell.

For those who object to the dialogue (being unrealistic, "girls don't talk like that") in "Death Proof", they could still enjoy the film's FYR element of a real stunt woman being the lead character thus making the experience of sitting through the film's first half and "Planet Terror" a worthwhile one. In an industry that is more faddy than NFL offenses, it was only a matter of time for another director to try and capture what carried the last two acts of a Quentin Tarantino film. Sadly, "Angel of Death" did not have the means to capture all of Zoe Bell's awesomeness, but it's a start, and well worth my waiting for a month for it to enter the "5 Day" rental category.

Eve has been the best hit person for the Downes Family because she does not question the orders her agent gives her and she won't take time for regrets. This all changes when she takes a four inch blade into her skull. No seizures, no sever headaches, but she starts to experience hallucinations of her past assignments. To put an end to these demons, she is going to try and set all her wrong rights by stopping those who put the innocent at risk.

This maybe the nerd in me, but any film that features an awful demise to a Ted Raimi character is worth seeing. When will they start putting that on the box art? If anyone was considering renting "JCVD" before they saw "My Name is Bruce", the fact that they off two of his characters would change their mind.

"Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death" was the perfect script for an actress just starting her career. Memorize some dialogue. Show some visceral emotion. The performance should be golden. If you followed Marilyn Monroe's career, her scripts may have been simpler than that. The supporting cast is able to show their want for the project to work, and Bell's fight scenes are wonderful and adhere to the limitations of reality.

There is no "Wire Fu" and most importantly if follows this rule:

If a girl gets hit by the guy, the tide of the fight totally changes. So if you are the girl in an inter gender brawl, DON'T GET HIT!

If there is anything unrealistic about the film's fights, it is why do all these Italians have Japanese body guards? Japanese body guards who are proficient in Kung Fu. Of course, we accept the premise that one will survive taking a knife to the top of the skull, so we are best to ignore the comic book elements in Brubaker's script.

And when it comes to comic books, director Paul Etheridge is able to capture the feel of one like the 80's Hasbro Boy Toys cartoons did. The editing effects seem appropriate, and the color schemes seem like they are pulled out of a pulp fiction magazine. They seem tacky at times, and perhaps this film should have just been shot in black and white, but this is a film directed by an art department guru, so it is to be expected.

The main flaw of the direction is that it does not make the performers seem alive. This is what a live action motion comic would look like. If it wasn't for the fight scenes, Zoe Bell's starring role would have been wasted.

Ed Brubaker's Angel of Death is an adequate start to Zoe Bell's acting career which is worth seeing if you are a fan of the legend. The technical qualities can drag the picture down, but the intent to create a comic book like character is apparent, and the efforts by the crew can be appreciated.

If a director can capture the good things that Angel of Death did well along with the few good things about "Ultraviolet", we should get a great movie. Or set of movies. I guess Angel of Death shows me why I like Timur Bekmambetov films so much.

So if you cannot stand subtitles or Angelina Jolie and Common, Angel of Death might just be the film for you.

 

@yodamatrix72 - Pinterest

NinetyForChill - The Podcast: It's Time for RiffCats

        

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 22: It's Time for RiffCats

Read more: https://html.com/media/#ixzz6jIeBsAn5

Please pardon there being but one cat (Eva, at least it is the most important cat) for this week's poster. Skimble is a bit on the dark side when it comes to his fur and it is very tricky to get the two of them in one shot.

 

I was unable to secure a guest for this weeks podcast. It may have been for the better since I had to schedule time for Skimble to spend with Ally of Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy and I was also attending my little brother's diaper party. The little one is due in August I believe.

 

The show must go on, and fortunately for me, ThePoeticCritic from Letterboxd (my big sister) offered up some wisdom when it came to our late 1990's VHS bonding. We pretty much give Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy's RiffTrax free advertising. Where did we direct this wisdom? I do my best to get her to tell us what she thinks is the best means to let the former "Mystery Science Theater 3000" make movies funny.

My older sister and I discuss how you should spend your money when it comes to getting your traxs. With many services like Pluto and Tubi allowing you to access the films that have fallen into the public domain, we determine that it is best to purchase tracks to give you fresh perspectives on the movies you love. Then we argue about whether or not you need them to get through Zack Snyder's "Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice".

If people will just watch the three-hour cut, they will find that there is really nothing to complain about.

For those who listened to last week's episode about Ivan Reitman, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis's works leading up to the most important comedy of the 1980's, I took the time to watch and objectively enjoy "Ghostbusters 2016". Here is to hoping I can convince you to give it a chance, but after my take on the DCEU's first "embarrassment", that may be a task. At least the Tomato Meter is on my side.

Before you get to the show, I really must implore to you how important it is for me to get a guest for next week's show. This podcast does not work with out you. Skimble can be quite the conversationalist, but I think he would even get fed up with me mistranslating his mrow's for a half hour. Just give me a theme, movie, director or actor, and I am sure that together we can come up with a better experience than "Suicide Squad".

With that said, I have been prepping myself for a vampire-themed episode. Thus, it will not be hard for me to come up with an "preview" episode to get the audience pumped for it. If someone will let me know that they are game for talking about "Lost Boys" and "Near Dark", we will have plenty of time to record it. Just drop russthebus07@gmail.com an email. Thanks.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com, @coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

https://society6.com/

Event Horizon - Inspiration for Gory Bastardized Remakes?

 *Blog was post started on June 8, 2021.

Event Horizon - Inspiration for Gory Bastardized Remakes?

I am now on a leave of absence from my retail job, so I am acting like I have more energy. Too bad I am in the midst of a final 10-day work week. It might just be me feeling like I am on a winning streak. Dad already had some free VPN promos so I might have reduced my primary entertainment bill to just $85. That is for Internet and AEW Plus.

"American Gods" season 3 was concluded, so Starz is out of my streaming budget. Without Xfinity TV, my NJPW World subscription should get more use. Hulu is great for lunch breaks at work. HBO is still the best premium network, so I am not cutting that. Shudder is the only thing that I need to jump at adding. ESPN+ will be good for Euro 2020. It is tempting to just change the credit card numbers to my benefactor, but Experian says its good for my credit.

And my sports betting is getting back on track. If I learned anything after my earnings went from $600 to $400 is that the only blue I can trust are the Chicago Cubs. We could spin that into some ACAB humor, but I digress. Anyhow, frustration is the wrong way to react to this. The knowledge that my little brother has some losers (Toronto Maple Leafs) that he lovingly endures is just one more thing to bond over.

Enough of how I have been getting my introverted groove back, let us get into a baiting sub 100-minute movie review. This means I might need to listen to all of my friends' podcast, but do you really need an excuse to rewatch what maybe Paul W.S. Anderson's only classic feature on his resume?

"Event Horizon" is a 1990's horror classic, but I do not even know if it is Anderson's best movie. The man operates from derivatives, so nothing is ever expected of him. But, he is the only director that you expect cool 3-D from, so there is at least a niche he is filling and thus some talent. This leaves me to ponder if that was even present with his first American non-established IP film.

In 2040, the experimental spacecraft Event Horizon traveled to the orbit of Neptune to test its gravity drive. The intention of this was to create a mini black hole that would suck space time in allowing the craft to travel to a different location instantaneously. But the intentions of the craft were not made public, so all anyone is suppose to know is that the ship was lost. So it is quite the surprise for Captain Miller and the crew of the Lewis and Clark to find out that they are suppose to salvage this craft and rescue the crew seven years later.

The crew arrives at the craft to find it in a seemingly state of deep freeze. At subzero temperatures, surely the crew is dead, but life form readings are detectable through out the ship. As the crew inspects the ship, one of them, Justin, tries to turn the power back on. When this occurs, he seems to be sucked into the gravity drive and the accompanying power surge cause a breach of the Clark's hull. To survive, the entire crew has to board the Event Horizon while they wait on repairs to the ship that got them there.

Justin is essentially spat out of the gravity drive in a catatonic state. His rescuer describes the incident to Miller, but his believability is immediately questioned by Dr. Weir. Weir is accompanying the Clark's crew since he was one of the scientist who designed the ship. Logic and physics are soon thrown out the window as other crew members, including Miller, start seeing what can only be considered hallucinations. Miller's lieutenant has a theory. This theory is that whatever the life readings are must be creating these experiences.

Once Justin awakens only to soon enter an air lock without a spacesuit to run from the darkness he saw, surviving becomes paramount to actually finding out what happened. Too bad Dr. Weir does not see it that way.

My synopsis for "Event Horizon" may have excluded the pitch for this feature: Spaceship returns from hell. With that said, going with a gothic horror approach to the premise is unique when you consider that the video game "Doom" is very similar. Horror was on a downturn in the mid 90's as we recovered from 80's slasher fatigue, so this was a brave 60 million dollar gamble on the "Mortal Kombat" director. The initial loss was 20 million, but after home release, it is surprising that there were not attempts to capitalize on the IP.

In the end, the movie ended up managing to be a hit in some form, and that tends to indicate great quality. That quality is provided by the cast and script. Anderson's direction is adequate, but there are not many set pieces that show his strengths when it comes to directing. If anything, it seems to me that the off-and-on auteur can only see in 3-D. I do not find this to be a weakness though when you take in to account how his "Resident Evil" franchise was able to have three additional sequels solely because of 3-D filmmaking's popularity. A 3-D re-release with some polished computer-generated effects would be worth telling streamers to bugger off.

I implied that the special effects are not great when it comes to the CG. They may have been great for the time, but like "Mortal Kombat", FDR/HDR does not do them any favor.

If there was one more flaw, it is the pacing. This is gothic horror on a spaceship which had been done before in the greater classic, "Alien". When you move from one scene to the next without anytime to revel in the horror of the situation, you are watching for the cool suggestive imagery of hell instead of being at the edge of your seat. This is primarily the reason that I am not going to declare this feature to be Anderson's best. I am leaning towards the first "Resident Evil".

As I discussed with Andrew Tiede on NinetyForChill - The Podcast, Anderson seems to have an abundance of cool premises like Ivan Reitman when it comes to talented actors. They are really cannot miss ideas and as long as you catch it all on the frame, it should turn out alright. Unlike Reitman, the script can be lacking. Anderson can make everything look cool enough that you at least have something that can be on mute that fits in a lowly Downstate Illinois dance club. You cannot say that about "Twins".

Returning to the gothic horror elements, was this the feature to inspire the Dark Castle remakes of the late 90's and early 00's? This can be a goreless feature, apart from the air lock scene, but a lot of the films fans are there for the gory sets and eyeball removal. "Alien" was subtle with its gore being limited to the chestbuster. Did Dark Castle see this feature and just pick up on how the feature's devotees talk about the gore? Is this why we have "House on Haunted Hill" and "House of Wax" remakes that lack all of the charm of their predecessors?

"Event Horizon" is a film that had a greater impact than its box office indicates. It is a fun and entertaining bit of horror that has become more camp than it is scary. Too bad that any horror flick between this and torture porn strives to be this film because the hole it started to fill is still quite a void.

Pinterest @martinriggs1981

 

Against the Dark: Steven Seagal lazily fights the Undead

What does not sound good about this premise? Steven Seagal faces off against vampires with the support of Linden Ashby (Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat) and Keith David. This sounds like made for video gold as long as it can deliver regardless of whether or not the director gives their all. Unfortunately, "Against the Dark" fails on the box art promises and fails to give us vampires or enough Seagal.

It is not like there is not enough of him to go around no matter how the dark and claustrophobic scenes try to cover it. The story focuses on the survival of six people trying to escape a hospital filled with the infected. The only thing vampiric about these monsters is they stay out of the sun light and occasionally try to reason (a total of three times in 94 minutes), otherwise they are pretty much running zombies. Seagal and his group of hunters are only out to kill these confused undead and they show up every now and then, but by no means are they truly intricate to the plot especially since our protagonist never decides to stick with the bad asses.

Why did critics ever knock Don Bluth for only offering 80 minute movies? Any short cuts to the ending would have been great in this film that seems to be nothing more than Seagal's acceptance that he is over the hill and fat.

Yes, swordplay is expected when one is dealing with paranormal opponents, but Seagal’s main appeal is him throwing bad guys to horrid deaths. The audience has to wait 90 minutes for that, and all he does is throw a few of them through walls. Most of the other action is provided by Tanoai Reed (stunt double/part-time actor) along with the only joke in the picture. The limited screen time leaves me with the assumption that Seagal cannot physically cut it anymore. Nothing about Seagal’s character is explored making this picture the ultimate bait and switch especially since David and Ashby are not kicking any ass.

"Against the Dark" knows that it wanted to have the nocturnal undead and that is all. It could not decide what it wanted to do with them. It is not “Marked for Death with Vampires,” and it is not “Under Siege with Vampires.” Either of those plots could have been improved with the homonus-nocturna, but without Seagal willingness to fulfill the needs of these premises, it ends up being a bad B-movie without a sense of humor.

/9gag.com

NinetyForChill - The Podcast: Bust'n Meatballs at the Caddyshack

Films Researched for this Episode: Meatballs (1979), Caddyshack (1980), and Killer Movie (2008).     

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 21: Bust'n Meatballs at the Caddyshack

Read more: https://html.com/media/#ixzz6jIeBsAn5

This week, my flexibility is demonstrated when it comes to coming up with content as I invite Andrew Tiede to the pod. He let me know what Ivan Reitman directed and Harold Ramis penned feature he wanted to gush over, so we talk about the sub 100-minute movies that got us to that paranormal comedy from 1984. And then we gush about the battle with the marshmallow behemoth.

 

@The_Couch_Man on TikTok and I do our best to get from the original "Not Ready for Prime Time Players" to "Ghostbusters". The focus was intended to be about Harold Ramis's directorial debut "Caddyshack" and Ivan Reitman's minimal effort that Bill Murray carried, "Meatballs", but you cannot dismiss the features surrounding Dan Aykroyd rise which allowed him to sell a space janitor movie that nearly had a German-themed John Candy. This leads to reminiscing about the power of John Belushi that John Landis facilitated.

 

And how can we overlook "Stripes" and how parents would let the kids of the early 80's watch anything? We discuss what you could get away with in comedies, but we do our best to provide context to all of the rapiness of "Porky's" and "Revenge of the Nerds". That seemed to be an easier topic to chat up than the weirdness that was 1989 cinema with its normalization of PG-13. I think I may owe Andrew a formal apology for that tangent bringing up "Nothing But Trouble".

We take the time to chat about the apparent lack of appreciation for Ernie Hudson. All of the features in the "Ghostbusters" franchise get a piece of the pod. More importantly, the timelessness of the original "Ghostbusters" is celebrated by trying to find out what movies are even comparable to the concept. Maybe "Roger Rabbit"...

If we get negative about anything, it is the realization that Ivan Reitman may not be the director that his son is. Since a comic was the guest and an aspiring writer is your host, maybe that is a win. This leads me to be further excited about "Ghostbusters: Afterlife". With Jason Reitman being one of the best five North American directors out there, how could this feature go wrong?

We also go back to Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Reviews. This week I review "Killer Movie". Is Kaley Cuoco dropping the C-word worth $3.33 from Disc Replay?

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com, @coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

 

The Toolbox Murders (2004): Leatherface for LA

The Toolbox Murders: Leatherface for LA

Tobe Hooper was a legendary and prolific horror director, but consistent in terms of quality was never the case. The only way to determine if a feature was his was through the utter chaos the picture provides. His remake of 1978's "The Toolbox Murders" is a prime example of this.

Nell cannot stand the Lusmar Arms, the building that hosts her new Los Angeles apartment. Nothing works, the renovations are moving along at a snail's pace, and all of her neighbors have an aura of creepiness surrounding them. It is also difficult to deal with the history of the building since the Black Dahlia lived one floor below, but the price is right at a $900 deposit and two rent-free months.

As the limited staff tries to restore this historical building, tenants are disappearing and the only one who seems to take notice of this are Nell and a former actor who has lived there for the past 60 years. After calling the cops twice for unfounded horrors she heard through the paper thin walls, everyone else residing there thinks she is nuts.

Using the clues provided by the elderly tenant and her fascination with the strange symbols through out the building, she is determined to find the missing tenants. The question is, can she handle who and what she will find?

Hooper's "Toolbox" takes a while to get going and its contradictory violence can frustrate, but it turns into a nice suburban homage to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre".

The contradiction all lie in the gore. Women face gruesome demises, but Hooper cannot determine how far to take the brutality. If we are not going to clearly witness the drill going into her skull and out the other side, cut once we see the power tool and hear a final scream. Subtlety was what made his only true classic (I have not seen "Poltergeist".) so awesome.

Perhaps this was Hooper's intent. To pay respect to both of his "Massacres", violence committed against the men is so over the top which makes the third act a lot of fun. It is no "Life Force", but its fun especially with the twist the story provides.

If there was a little more gore to entice the audience, Tobe Hooper's "The Toolbox Murders" would be a made for DVD classic. I originally saw it on Fearnet (RIP), but it is available streaming at the lowest possible price (per JustWatch.com). At only 95 minutes, it is not too hard to be patient enough for this film be worth a view. The question is, can you handle the gore.

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