Truck Stop DVD - "Countdown" Good, but Not the "Sudden Death" Remake We Were Hoping for.

 

Dolph Ziggler the Movie: Good, but Not Title or 3,000 Screen Ready

Finally, my wrestling-themed Tublr (Rip 'Em System) can promote my movie rantings. If only I could have debuted my Danny Glover, Rutger Hauer, Darryl Hanna, and Michael Madsen masochistic experience by comparing that Stephen Baldwin to the bloodless era of WWE. A missed metaphor?

After the failure that was "No Holds Barred", WWE has yet to make movies to truly promote their primary product. It anything, these films are just opportunities for Vince McMahon to display what would be too much for even the Attitude Era: The horror franchises that fit Kane's gimmick; Rape being the ultimate heel move; Gimmick matches based around murder.

"Countdown" promoted itself as the first film to include the product. It was supposed to be "Sudden Death" at a house show. Since that feature was one of my favorite Jean-Claude Van Dam flicks, Dolph Ziggler's first starring vehicle's premise had potential.

Ray Fitzpatrick (Ziggler) is a burned out cop with nothing to lose, and that gets results. Unfortunately for him, internal affairs frowns upon shooting your partner like Sterling Archer would shoot Cyril to avoid blowing your cover, regardless of how many Russians you irritate to preserve the American way of life. Concerned for his pension, Lt. Cronin (Glenn "Kane" Jacobs) places the super cop on paid suspension with hopes that the critics will forget about his antics.

It is not his critics that the Seattle Police Department should be worrying about. The next day, a Russian obsessed with Ray's exploits sends them a video of a child who is strapped with enough explosives to obliterate a 40-yard radius. If Ray does not deliver $2,000,112.35 to the bomber at the WWE show, he will make a phone call to vaporize the youngster and any neighbors.

Like one of every three WWE angles, the exchange does not work out. Ray is able to kill his foil before he can set off the bomb, but that leaves us with no one who knows where the kids is. With the suspension leaving our hero with no regulations, he is going to harass every criminal west of the Urals until he saves the day while IA member Julia Baker (Katharine Isabelle) will try to piece the chaos together and keep Cronin off his tail.

"Countdown" decides to be clever instead of obvious and ridiculous, and it works. This is good because the direction is not there.

The first act was put in the can very quickly and the false and actual finales are chock full of continuity flaws. Michael Finch and Richard Wenk's script is a fool proof 80's film and Dolph Ziggler is not expected to emote anything but Mel Gibson's hippest, pro semetic attitude.

The script goes to some odd places, but with every ridiculous hunch Ziggler's character has, Isabelle's role is there to make sure the cynics will suspend their disbelief. Eventually, your only complaint is that they only cast two WWE talents to act. And they still find a way to emasculate Rusev.

/www.pinterest.com/negretealex5

Alexander Kalugin is a great Willem Dafoe knock off, but the rest of the thugs should have been "superstars". If you watch Southpaw Regional Wrestling, you know all of the Smackdown roster attempting Russian accents would make this a VOD rental/purchase instead of waiting for it to be streaming for free.

If you need a WWE fix while you are waiting for the WWE Network to give you a promo to return, first watch "AEW Dark" and "NWA Powerrr". If that is not enough, then "Countdown" is your methadone. Like any illicit drug, you can find this movie at truck stops, in the DVD bin with at least two other good WWE Studios flicks packaged with it. (I have yet to watch "The Condemned 2" so perhaps four.)

"Countdown" is silly like the current product and clever like ECW. The only thing it lacks is the nudity and graphic violence to be an ideal 80's action flick. Most importantly, this is the best of use of Dolph Ziggler since April of 2013. This feature is a product for the smarks who need to see this guy fully utilized.

I think Dolph is overrated as a wrestler, so please see this film to put Ziggler's career in an ideal direction. Or petition WWE to create a TV Championship if we must compromise. Just cheer for him cashing checks instead of hoping he wins world titles.

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast...Goes to B-Fest

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 57: NinetyForChill: The #Podcast...Goes to B-Fest (Dalton of Roller Skates)

With "Showdown in Little Tokyo" sharing the marquee at the Norris University Center at Northwestern University, Cool Movies Darth was obligated to attempt to make it through the 24-hour, B-movie marathon that is B-Fest. He spent all 24 hours in the McCormick Auditorium, but did he watch all the movies? Sometimes, there are things so bad, you just need to shut the brain off.

I had made it through two Ed Wood features ("Final Curtain" and "Plan 9 From Outer Space") that are not unwatchable. "Firewalker" disappointed as I ponder how Chuck Norris had his prime throughout the whole of the 1980s, but I cannot be too mad at a good Louis Gossett Jr. performance and a John Rhys-Davies cameo. Who cannot appreciate the sheer, unintentional comedy that is "The Brain That Wouldn't Die"? You would think that would be enough to skip the edibles and choose to constantly drink Monster Juice energy drinks to claim that you made it through the DEEP HURTING.

"The Night of a Thousand Cats" was virtually unwatchable, so it was easier to take the time to update my Letterboxd lists for this podcast, so I felt ready for the 3:00 am show. There was disappointment days later when I found that Quentin Tarantino has an appreciation for that Mexican film, lifting the film's antagonist's name, Hugo Stiglitz, for Til Schweiger's character in "Inglourious Basterds". My disconnect with QT hurts. This feature was the first to be booed at the festival, but not nearly as angrily as that for "Foodfight!".

I have seen more Francis Coleman movies than most. I have seen "Manos: The Hands of Fate" and "Birdemic: Shock and Awe". I made it though "The Room". None of these films made it a point to piss off the audience with every line of dialogue delivered by B-list celebrities. If the animation was better than PlayStation One, PERHAPS this would not be the worst movie I have seen.

A friend of mine told the story about how the original animation was stored on what became stolen hard drives, so one maybe too harsh on this celebrity-endorsed consumerism allegory about the holocaust. (Since this animation is "Veggietales" simple, is this how morons have been brainwashed in believing the Jewish genocide did not occur?) I doubt PlayStation 3 graphics would save this. Every scene is just another decision to make the audience scream, "Fuck You!" at the screen. By 4:40 am, we just lacked the strength to keep up with it. 

We got the boos out of the way, but after that, in my seating row, I slept through "Marihuana: The Weed with Roots in Hell", Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Hercules in New York", and "The Return of Doctor X". It was necessary. Watching "Showdown" on a big screen was too important. 

If only it was not tradition for B-Fest to show "Plan 9" at midnight the past 38 years. There were some great films to discover/rediscover which could have softened the masochism that came with "Night of a Thousand Cats" and "Foodfight!" It was great to see "Return to Oz" at an age greater than five. Who would not appreciate the feature debut of Patrick Swayze in the roller disco film "Skatetown U.S.A."? But the highlight for me came with the second feature of Friday night, "Master of the Flying Guillotine".

The only thing this martial arts film was lacking was (aside from coherency) was a "Fight to Survive" montage. It has "Bloodsport" vibes, inspired "Street Fight 2" characters, and had weird Asian-on-Asian racism you cannot help but giggle at. This is a feature that has a lot of promise be it a cinematic remake, an arcade tournament fighter, or a new take on "Alien: Isolation". All it takes is an Ang Lee or Bong Joon Ho, and we will have a 21st century classic.

If you attended B-Fest and want to chat about the high and lows of the event, feel free to email russthebus07@gmail.com to arrange a Zoom meeting.

If I do not hear from anybody who attended the marathon, the Michael Dubois's Gene Wilder trilogy will begin on March 8. I do not like to post episodes on my birthday week. It is easier to just go social media silent than to ponder about whether or not a Facebook well wish from a high school classmate is genuine.

Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast: Gregory Carl & "The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane"

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 56: Gregory Carl & "The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (A Critic and Film, Nothing More)

If there is a master of spotting subtle horror on Shudder, it is Gregory Carl. This week he suggested a film that has a horror-worthy premise with "The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane" featuring a 14 year-old Jodie Foster. It is a feature that turns the seemingly defenseless adolescent premise on its head while maintaining all that 1970s creepiness in all of its glory.

"The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane" features a lot of elements that you could only get away with during the New Hollywood era. Parenting is seen as a novel concept and there is sexualization of adolescents outside of the truly disturbing elements of the tale. It is rather unapologetic as it effectively displays how pedophilia was handled at that time which will probably make modern audiences cringe. With all my friends who had experiences of such abuse, I hate to say that this treatment may have been prevalent at least up to the turn of the century.

This leads me to believe that we need to appreciate this film to realize that things in this patriarchic society needs to change, but with how our protagonist handles herself, my experience suggests that this feature is a display of feminist power. You fear for Rynn Jacobs's innocence, but she has a strength to come out stronger on the other side, and the evil may be no match for her.

This was my take on the feature. Gregory was more taken a back by the suggestion that matricide maybe an effective means of parenting. He was also caught off guard by the idea of a father who has left his "mature", 13 year-old daughter to survive on her own for three years. Again, experience with my friends allows me to see that some people grow up this way without any sense of guidance. Dad might be an eccentric artist (poet in this case), but at least his presence can be felt. I have known too many girls and boys who cannot claim that.

In a way, Jodie Foster does not seem too far removed from her character in this feature. This film was released in 1976, the same year as her breakout role in "Taxi Driver". With all the craziness surrounding her characters, I cannot help but think she took these experiences to become a powerhouse of acting. It also may have helped that she also starred in Alan Parker's "Bugsy Malone" that year as well. From childish gangster musicals to abused teenagers, this year ran the gamut of portrayals.

Outside of the feature talk, Gregory and I do go on some odd tangents. We cannot help but talk about some action movies, particularly Jet Li's limited success in the early part of the 21st century. Wrestling is a passion of mine so Gregory's fandom for the sport pulls out some stories about Peoria Wrestling and how it relates to New Jack. If there was a means to connect our love of action movies to this Foster vehicle, it comes from New Jack tales. As Joey Styles said, you have to believe at least half of the Original Gangsta's tales of justifiable homicide.

This lead me to state how much of Frank Dux ("Bloodsports" inspiration) bullshit I believe. Like how he respects Steven Seagal. Somehow Gregory and I get to suggesting that Seagal's love for Russia maybe him just hiding his truth. Hiding truths is something that has been associated with Jodie Foster if you get my implications.

This podcast once again returns to "Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy Trash Feature Revue" as well. 2013's "Dark Space" is the feature. It is a tale about a Spring Break in Space for 30-something college students gone wrong. Sadly, the film is not a comedy. And there is definitely a reason why I have only found three images for the feature online and the lack of a Wikipedia entry or even being included in its distributor's filmography.

As for next week's podcast, I hope I will be able to create some content while I am at B-Fest. If you are attending, my apparel will be my "Captain N: The Gamemaster" jacket. Driving back home after a 24-hour movie marathon is not something I want to do, so a room has been booked for after the show. Chatting for an hour or so about movies would be a great way to close the trip. Feel free to email russthebus07@gmail.com to arrange a meeting.

With that said, there is a back up plan in place. If it is not "The Brain That Wouldn't Die" or "Firewalker" chatter, get ready to start Michael Dubois's Gene Wilder trilogy.

Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - "Ghostbusters: Afterlife" - Slime Free

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 55: Ghostbusters: Afterlife - Slime-Free Family Fun (Marshmallows Fluff Does Not Count)

If you remove the credits for "Ghostbusters (1984)", the runtime is only 36 seconds too long to qualify for NinetyForChill.com's parameters. Cool Movies Darth is a fan of "Solo: A Star Wars Story", so like Han, he chose to round the runtime down to the lower parsec. This allows him to address the latest film in the paranormal comedy franchise, "Ghostbusters: Afterlife".

I have taken on this episode by myself to assure that the guest content is not overly repetitive. The assistance that Gregory Carl, ThePoeticCritic, and Michael Dubois is always appreciated, but this is not their show yet. With that said, it is not overly hard to influence me, especially during my financial strains after the loss of my banking job.

Since this is a brief, 15-minute episode, I do not go in depth about my struggles beyond having to watch a lot of movies in hopes that they meet the parameters of my podcast BEFORE the credits role. Four movies on Sunday, and aside from "Ghostbusters" "meeting" the proper runtime, I ended going through three "Predator" films before I found one that allows us to discuss that franchise.

And that feature was Paul WS Anderson's "AVP: Alien Versus Predator". It is a fun popcorn feature like all of Anderson's films, but lets just say I am keeping Dan O'Bannon and H.R. Geiger's creature away from the podcast. We should not be that lenient for content.

Since I am chatting about Paul WS Anderson, my original intention for this podcast was to cover "Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City". This is because, for the most part, all of the films in the original series would qualify for the show's parameters. Unfortunately, I failed to realize that the physical media release of the latest RE feature drops today (2/8/22). If I want to use a Redbox promo code, I am going to use one. Thus, leniency was needed this past weekend.

When it comes to the feature that I ended up renting, I thought was that it was a fine ode to the original feature. It may not have the same wit because you do not want children improvising, but I would say that allows auteur Jason Reitman to make the film that he wanted. He can count on it being his dialogue and the feature following his design. There are a few tweaks that could have been made, but this tribute to Harold Ramis tugged on my heart strings so that I immediately dismissed them. And that is why we take notes to make sure I give you these critiques on the podcast.

If there is any negative to this feature, it is that now I really want to forget about the praise I gave to "Ghostbusters (2016)". That is still a fun movie, provided you never saw GB1 or even GB2. The 2016 film had no idea on what fans of the franchise wanted. And with "Afterlife" going slime-free, we further want Paul Feig's miss to never be released in 8K.

My Twitter account is @catbusruss. This is where I want your hate to be directed if you disapprove. Otherwise, positive feedback would be best displayed as subscriptions to my podcast and five-star reviews. Lets work that algorithm.

If you think you have a film or franchise that you are an expert on. Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. Most franchises have at least one feature that will qualify for NinetyForChill. The runtime just needs to be between 74 and 99 minutes.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.