If it does not involve pro-wrestling, this is Russ Stevens's effort to create the one stop blog for movies that are cut to the ideal run-time, 90 minutes. This blog may feature films that may range from 71 minutes to 1 hour 40 minutes, but 101 minutes and up are too long. An hour and a half can justify cutting a film into two chapters and a book into three. Hobbits and Katniss have too many ending, consider this an effort to stop that.
"Sportz Ballz" host Tim Loss (pardon calling him Timothy in the hasty intro) comes on to the podcast to discuss a film that had a seminal influence on his life, "Roadside Prophets". He and Cool Movies Darth nearly spend two hours discussing what would be Generation X's "Easy Rider". It is a mellow suggestion that the counter culture and cheeky nihilism could save the USA from itself. We would have at least been in a better place to handle 9-11.
This film is pretty reasonably priced on iTunes ($6.99 as of March 29, 2022), but I (CM Darth) am glad that Tim did not find it to be too much of a hassle to purchase or rent digitally to have this conversation. Unless he already owned a copy. Our chat would suggest that my jealousy would be warranted if that is the case.
I have quite a Netflix DVD queue, so I may have forgotten half of the features that I remember adding to my list. When I opened the package, finding the runtime to be 1 hour 36 minutes was nice. This could have been one of the rare written reviews for a feature on NinetyForChill.com. After reading the plot summary to see John Doe from 80s punk legends "X" and Adam "Adrock" Horovitz from the Beastie Boys as the leads, this road trip movie was suggested to my social media (@catbusruss) and #FilmTwitter as a film that needed to be podcasted about.
So, Gregory Carl's friend and co-sports broadcaster, Tim Loss, let me know that he remembered the feature and was game for the Zoom meeting. He recalled seeing this film on Sundance (before it was purchased my AMC) in the late aughts. As we chatted along, we discovered the lasting influence the film had on him whether he recognized it then or not.
But first, we had to tell our stories about how we came upon John Doe. Sadly, neither of us found him through "X". As a punk rock fan, this is embarrassing for me. Probably more so than me not realizing that Riot Grrrl icon Kathleen Hannah was married to Horovitz before I saw The Julie Ruin in 2017.
When it came to discovering Doe, for Tim, it was the George Strait vehicle "Pure Country". As for me, it was the 1989, Patrick Swayze (and Terry Funk) classic, "Road House".
Episode 60: ThePoeticCritic and Oscar Fixing/Bitching (Black Cancer vs. White Autism).
ThePoeticCriticgraces NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast again with her thoughts on how the Academy Awards will either piss off #FilmTwitter or just be mocked for its failure to connect with the Marvel-loving loud mouths of Millennials and Gen Z. So Cool Movies Darth offers up suggestions on how to remedy this while setting up a lot of "The Simpsons" references to display the futility of making changes to the Oscars.
The Academy of Arts and Science seems to be making a lot of questionable decisions going into their annual awards ceremony. Decisions that maybe more questionable than CM Darth recording this on a Zoom H1N without a test run. ThePoeticCritic and the former Scoop Staley (If your podcast received a five-star review from this moniker, please return the favor.) cannot see any of the Academy's decisions working out for the better.
This year's show is dependent on Twitter with the #OscarsFanFavorite and the #OscarsCheerMoment. ABC (Disney) is hoping this will reward "Spider-Man: No Way Home" with some "serious" statuettes, but with bots and those who follow Camila Cabello and Johnny Depp, the fan favorite movie will be an expression of awful taste. As for the Cheer Moment, Russ Stevens (Firsties when it comes to using that name for podcasting) is pulling for a clip from 1999. Oh the confusion that appealing to the youth will provide us.
Other films in contention for unwarranted recognition are from Zack Snyder. There are those pushing for Netflix's "Army of the Dead" and a Flash moment from "Zack Snyder's Justice League". As a fan of most adaptations directed by Snyder, Cool Movies Darth is hoping the Internet will shut him out this year. But, he has not seen the HBO Max exclusive, and he is a supporter of "Batman Versus Superman: Dawn of Justice", so he may need to find five hours to become objective.
What does Mr. Cool Movies suggests to fix the Oscar with the Internet? How about a Twitter ticker throughout the show? Everyone likes to see their name on TV. Perhaps we need a ESPN2 commentary stream. If Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are not going to host, why not let them party and commentate the show like the Manning boys do for Monday Night Football?
This is where a content warning maybe needed. TPC and CMD discuss last year's attempts to make the telecast more interesting. The show backfired when they attempted to celebrate the career of Chadwick Boseman by presuming that he would win the award for Best Actor. Anthony Hopkins's, an octogenerian, victory over a 43 year-old who died went over as well as a lead balloon.
And this week's guest took offense to this. Hopkins had recently acknowledged his autistic diagnosis. TPC is on the spectrum as well, so she was offended that people were upset about her marginalization being cursed.
Which marginalization deserves more recognition? Is that a question we should be even considering? Here is to hoping they revert to saving the Best Picture Oscar for the end to avoid such thoughts.
The podcast does their best to look past last year's recognition. It seems like it will be a big Jeff Goldblum year, so TPC is pumped. CMD maybe stuck in the past as he looks forward to Ebertfest 2022. This leads to the two discussing the need for super critics to counter how Disney is ruining the chances to see other movies as they flood the multiplexes with whatever Marvel bollocks keeps me from seeing the likes of "The Matrix: Resurrections" in IMAX.
I was a fan of the latest "Matrix" but I understand it is not Oscar fair. Still it has a fun ensemble, just like this week's Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy Trash Feature Review. This week, CM Darth watched "The Favor" with Oscar winner Brad Pitt. This tale of middle-aged sisterhood was made before the Orion bankruptcy, but it took another three year to finally release it. That is not a good sign.
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
I now see that I am settling down from the retail work day, and it is nearly 9:20 pm. It was a little busier than you would expect for Champaign/Urbana on an Illinois Basketball tourney game. This lack of support for the Illini is probably why they barely survived Chattanooga's challenge.
I guess I am jonesing for AEW Rampage since I just provided a weak attempt at a "You People!" promo. With it now being 9:25 pm, there are worries of failing to get my wings in the (air) fryer before bell time. NJPW helps with the withdrawal, but I cannot split my focus between this blog and the New Japan Cup.
Then again, catching up on "Late Night with Seth Meyer's" YouTube's "A Closer Look", is not helping the time management. It is now 9:30 pm.
Yesterday was a pretty productive day off. Skimble got some time with Ally. My doctor's appointment and lab work went well. I discovered that Long John Silver's on Prospect has their drive-thru menu almost repaired (If only they would show their employees the pin bypass function when accepting a payment at the window.). There was also a couple of hours of Pokémon played. What more can I hope for from a weekday?
Tinder chatting with a girl who took the time to start up an episode of "NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast" you say. Going to bed at 3 am did not sound like a bad idea. Thank you Shelby County Community Services Blackberry OG for making sure it was not a 4 am bedtime. I cannot help but admire her late night dedication to her dissertation.
The downside from potentially a new friend, it all started while I was giving the reimagining of "Stuart Gordon's "Castle Freak" a viewing. This feature is already 20 minutes longer than the original before the end credits run. All the chatter and accompanying pauses added another hour. At least this time I can blame that on somebody else.
@Shudder "Original": Castle Freak (2020): From Gordon to Lovecraft
Rebecca Reilly's life seems like one that no one should envy. After a recent drunken party at Miskatonic University, her boyfriend John decides he was fit enough to drive home. The result, Rebecca is blinded when he crashes the car.
Perhaps her and John's life can bounce back from this incident. Rebecca ends up being the sole heir to an Albanian castle after her biological mother dies. John cannot wait to sell the property and the old relics inside of it. This can turn their lives around, but Rebecca is too consumed about what her family history is.
Her guilt-ridden beau is gradually losing his patience with her curiosity and her insistence that their is somebody already living in the castle. This frustration leads to denial as the residents of the town let him know of the castle's cursed history. Things only get worse when his party pals come to "help" with the transition.
The only friend who seems to have any interest in studying the history of the castle is The Professor. He will not be much help moving stuff. Rebecca found a skin-bound book, and The Professor is certain that it is the Necronomicon, a lost book that documents the history of the religion that worships the Great Old Ones. When the being that Rebecca suspected of roaming the halls makes its presence known by murdering and munching on one of the party goers, her visions start to indicate that this castle was meant to serve as a point for the old ones to return.
This remake of the Stuart Gordon classic is interesting for deciding to lean in on the Lovecraftian elements associated with his films. Special effects master Tate Steinsiek's "Castle Freak" is a nice homage that stands on its own, but definitely feels like it only has the quality of a made-for-video feature. Throwing in tentacles does not equal the charm of fine character actors who made something out of the simple Charles Band premise of, "There is a castle and a freak."
Kathy Charles's script decides the only way to make this feature worthwhile was to create a larger world from this simple premise. Without that because the characters outside of the primary relationship just being standard horror-victim tropes, this film would just be a waste of an idea. I do not know if this wider HP Lovecraft franchise can work, but it definitely demands my attention.
There are no good performances outside of Clair Catherine's Rebecca, so the feature needs to be more than just graphic violence. If the film had any star power, it could have worked as a tribute to Gordon. The elements of Lovecraft's "Dunwich Horror" makes you think past the bad acting and appreciate the gory demises of it. Unfortunately, all these new element to the story can make you lose track of what is happening.
There is definitely 10 minutes of the film that are unnecessary. Outside of the nightmarish imagery, it is a slow build to the chaos we came for. When you think back to all of Gordon's Lovecraftian adaptations, constant mayhem is expected, so this adaptation misses the point. Subtlety is not something we want from HP's horrific worlds.
What really hurts this take on "Castle Freak" is that it is shot in 16:9, but fails to capture the vastness of Gordon's movie that was shot in 4:3. The feature feels overly narrow. With the exception of a few attacks by the freak, even the violence seems squished in the frame.
And for a feature that is a slow build, there is never a sense of menace when it comes to the attacker. There are some violent scenes that at least tells us the writer and director know what is expected from this film. But without a genuine sense of dread from the freak, the violence does not pack the same punch.
"Castle Freak 2020" is "Castle Freak 1995" light at best. It offers the audience something new, but lacks the quality to totally get the fans of the original behind it. The Lovecraft franchise Shudder hopes to create has promise, but without great actors and fine directors, the next feature will be a waste of time. That is not the promise we are hoping for.
@twisted_twins is a Twitter account that I hope Shudder is considering sending a DM to.
Medical appointments have passed, but with a one month follow up scheduled. Yes, I am still stressed about that. And yes, I am too honest to just cancel an appointment because it would not work with my schedule and wait till my next health scare.
Any other stress is probably undue bullshit. The Snapchat girl is sending mixed messages, going from work focus to "why can't a man satisfy me?" mode. Why do you not tell me to get over there and take care of you?
To make matters work, I at least got girls talking on three other platforms. This leaves me with three other conversations to worry about. Should I message them just to make sure they know I am still interested? Did I cross the line with some political commentary? Do they only chat from nine to five?
And there are of course the blog posts that I need to all have prepared before my vacation. Because I got to justify my Netflix DVD subscription, my most recent disc had to get back to Carol Stream before the next billing period. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" is next up which is good because I got to slow down my output for NinetyForChill.com. But until we get to the way I should be handling my Terry Gilliam collection (To my credit, my copies of "Brazil" and "12 Monkeys" were both purchased at heavily discounted prices.), we must tread through another post 2015 action movie starring Sylvester Stallone.
"Escape Plan" was an amusing enough movie that may have taken itself a little too seriously. With two sequels being shot back-to-back, one would suspect any other franchise to be taking itself way too seriously. Fortunately, when you realize these flicks are solely for the Chinese mainland (Free Hong Kong!), it is easy enough to relax and enjoy "Escape Plan 2: Hades" for the braid dead trash that I hoped "Rambo: Last Blood" would have been.
Escape Plan 2: Hades (2018, 1 hour 36 minutes)
Breslin Security has expanded from prison breaks to encompass rescue missions. With Ray Breslin tired of doing the physical work required in testing the effectiveness of prison security, Shu serves as his top agent. Unfortunately, the last bout with terrorists only allowed for half the assets to make it back home. If fellow agent Kimbral had skipped trying to further promote Breslin by blowing up the terrorists' weapons cache and arrived at the rendezvous on time, the results would probably have been different.
Ray fires Kimbral and puts Shu on leave to work on his team leadership skills. Shu decides to head back to Shanghai to visit his family, and make sure nothing happens to his satellite genius cousin, Yusheng, at a Bangkok bachelor party. At least being at his cousin's side means he will not have be alone when they are kidnapped to soon awake in a black op prison site called H.A.D.E.S.
The Zookeeper has been hired by a Swiss competitor to Yusheng. Shu and his cousin are there to be tortured until they give up the patent information for Yusheng's new satellite communication technology. HADES is far more complex than the last prison Ray broke out of and with the Zookeeper having inmates fight for luxuries, how long can our protagonists last?
We know Ray is going to do anything he can to get Shu out, including recruiting the towering DeRosa to give them some extra firepower, but will not make a move until he is certain of success. It is all a matter of figuring out the location and layout of the prison. Time is one thing Shu has and with Kimbral being a fellow inmate, what he has learned from Ray gives him all he needs to win the day. But after all the damage that Breslin has done to the private prison industry, things seem far too easy.
"Escape Plan 2: Hades" starts out like any silly 80's action movie, but it makes a sudden turn to attempt and capture "The Matrix" cool aesthetic that exposes all of its weaknesses. It is kind of like "Tron" without the teleporting laser and smooth incorporation of effects. With punching and kicking being your primary means of action, our characters are not in the right movie. Especially Stallone who I do not believe knows how to kick.
I suppose the concept of a computer controlled prison allows for twists to constantly occur, but the narrative is far too predicable. The idea is to make the audience to try and figure out the puzzle as they go along. Its mistake is the constant twists to mock us just when the nerds develop a theory on how the protagonist can escape. This leads the audience to just quit caring, so only the stupidity of villain(s) can the film get them reinvested. That is a whole lot of stupid.
Director Steven C. Miller is accustomed to making stupid films. He directed a fun remake of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" ("Silent Night), but that film featured a script that does not necessarily make sense as it works to a big reveal. What made the film fun was a cast of screen chewers and shocking violence. The film chewer in "Escape Plan 2" is Stallone who is essentially there only for his brand value. He is not the lead, so he cannot chew the fat off of this film.
As for the violence, you get one great fight scene, otherwise the film is too quick to resolve its scenes. This leaves the flick with nothing for Miller to catch and over expose. If it left us with graphic scenes to linger on, it would play towards Miller's strengths. It also lacks a sense of humor or clever wit that can save an action movie. All of that is reserved for Dave Bautista's screen time. Since the third film in the franchise also features him, you have to admire the writer, Miles Chapman, doing the bare minimum to leave the audience wanting more.
"Escape Plan 2: Hades" might have figured out how to make a Chinese-funded trilogy work, leaving the audience just interested enough for a third film. In this case, I think this interest stems from wanting justification for putting up with a quickly produced sequel that lacks heart. It has some fun moments, but it also wants to prove itself smarter than its audience.
"HADES" might show up the audience with its twists to indicate intelligence, but it does not change the fact that it is built on a metaphoric swamp. How smart can you be if you are still sinking? Hopefully the wreckage of this castle will be enough to serve as a sturdy base for "Escape Plan: The Extractors".
Cool Movies Darthand Michael Dubois resume their conversation about one of the most impactful children features in their lives, "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory". The two discuss the charms of Gene Wilder that Johnny Depp could only wish for, and how they may allow a real megalomaniacal chocolatier to get away with the crimes against humanity that Roald Dahl's most famous character commits.
Picking up where they left of, the two discuss how all the kids were suckers for pursuing Slugworth's request to leave the factory with an Everlasting Gobstopper. Michael hopes this portion of the Dahl universe is murder free. Mr. Fox was risking his life, so CM Darth thinks Slugworth would pay the Iron Price to cover his tracks. Slitting children throats is something they would do on Pyke.
When it comes to CM Darth's darker takes on the film, they maybe related to his rewatch being sweet free. He developed a sense of jealousy toward the five children and the candy that they had access to. It is ironic because his obsessive compulsive tendencies would have left him too creeped out to continue the tour. The boat ride would not bug him, but a dozen people just feeding themselves cream from their bare hands. Gross.
The best thing about "Willy Wonka" is not the subliminal diabetes. It is Gene Wilder. Darth and Michael discuss that Wilder was casts to be himself. This leads to a criticism of Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory" from the host. Depp is not bad, but if Depp is cast in something, we might just want to see him be Depp.
Wilder did not turn himself into a character to portray the chocolate magnate. He is believable with his own voice and mannerisms. His character and dialogue is kooky enough. All he needed to do was deliver it well, and the audience leaves happy. Just like his role in Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask."
This is where a content warning maybe needed. Darth discusses his admiration for the content Woody Allen has directed while resisting calling him a total monster. Our host may come off as a demon after he slips the M-word when discussing the Oompa Loompas. There is no malicious intent, and it leads to a fun conversation of dwarves versus elves. When little people have two (three if you include hobbits) Middle Earth races to choose as their preferred noun, why dwarves?
At least they did not look towards a galaxy far, far away when it came to races to name their condition. Then again, after "The Book of Boba Fett", finding out Jawas are furry, the practicality of using the J-word just is not there.
The two being nerds leads to some "Star Wars" comparisons. Charlie seemingly having a pure heart definitely provides the audience with Christ-like vibes. Who needs Jesus when you have George Lucas?
If Charlie is the chosen one, he is essentially Anakin Skywalker. A child running a chocolate factory is scary, but the naïve nature of Charlie implies he will cause no one harm. This maybe something that can be said of young Skywalker, but once he started thinking with his dick, all was lost. Will Charlie need to be celibate for the sake of the Oompa Loompas?
Follow me on Twitter @catbusruss. If you want to be on the show, contact me on Twitter or send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All we need is a theme, movie, director, or actor and a focus on sub 100-minute material. As long as the credits start before the 1:39:59 mark on the runtime bar, the movie qualifies.
