Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Flight of the Living Dead - It's Only 90 minutes

Zombie movie intrigue is not based on gore, whether they are runners or walkers, or video quality. It is usually dependent on a great gimmick, and the easiest gimmick is the location/setting.

It is kind of like "Die Hard" sequels. Strand the heroes in confined spaces or simply offer them no exits. As long as there are a lot of enemies, how can you mess that up...the intrigue at least? (Since writing the first draft of this review, I have seen the fourth and fifth "Return of the Living Dead" films, so it is not as hard as I thought in 2009). This works for all of George Romero's zombie features. If "Flight of the Living Dead" (aka "Plane Dead") only had Bruce Willis, all genres would come around full circle.

During a storm on an transatlantic flight, a mysterious cargo is disturbed. As the doctors who are responsible for the contents and the crew investigate why the plane's communications have gone down, they are caught off guard by the undead running amok. Now it is up to a FBI agent, a TSA agent, and a black pro golfer to regain control of the craft before the USAF shoot them down to contain the threat.

When "Flight of the Living Dead" begins, it has a lot of potential. Sure the exterior shots are totally CG, but it is loaded with many of the most underappreciated character actors ever. Enough of these actors are featured that it should be part of Universal's "Dark Universe" (if that is still a thing). Kevin J. O'Connor and Erick Avari from 1999's "The Mummy" and Raymond J Barry from "Rapid Fire" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" all have significant roles. Unfortunately, they must have spent the entire budget on names that will not bring the common man into the theater.

The story starts out great. It may seem a little slow, but that is so they can thoroughly set the continuity for the film through out. It does a good job to maintain this, but when the outbreak occurs, you realize that they did not set ground rules for how to handle these zombies.

This is not the rage virus, so shooting them in the ball and chest is just done for kicks. And since they are zombies, Tiger Wood's driver to the skull is a kill. Unless they want to associate themselves with the lesser "Return of the Living Dead" series, just playing "Double Dragon" through the undead is boring. Especially when there are no squibs to be seen. The gore is too heavily dependent of computer generated effects.

Every direct-to-video zombie flick has better gore. There are a few scenes of tearing flesh with teeth, but most of the time they pan away when a crucial infectious bite occurs. If you are doing an unrated zombie movie, we need a gut buster or ridiculous head being split in half. The best we get is a nun losing her shins.

This film is like walking though a Halloween pop-up retailer. The "Flight of the Living Dead" mayhem is only good for photos in "Fangoria". Its script ignores the fact that it has too good a cast and archetypes to fill it with CG-heavy violence. Leaving this movie feely queasy would only occur as the result of consuming bad popcorn.

IMDb.com - Flight of the Living Dead (2007)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780583

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - Ghost World, Ebertfest, & ThePoeticCritic’s Summertime Sadness

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 65: Ghost World, Ebertfest, & ThePoeticCritic’s Summertime Sadness (Maybe they just need Rivermen Hockey to get over the apathy.).

Ghost World, Ebertfest, & ThePoeticCritic’s Summertime Sadness

April 26, 2022
Cool Movie Darth has finally attended Ebertfest when he saw the Terry Zwigoff and Thora Birch hosted screening of "Ghost World". It may have only been to one of the 13 shows, but this is a movie that has an important place in his life, regardless of the extra 20 minutes. He does his best to describe the experience to his big sister, ThePoeticCritic, perhaps to distract her from the remaining month of cinema lacking Jeff Goldblum.

Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective.

If only there was not a bitter, former coworker from Marine Bank who decided to report my blog to frustrated management, I could probably have afforded the $200 admission fee to attend all the films at Ebertfest. I mean Seymour and Enid may have only had their lives ruined due to incidental circumstances. This is the "libertarian" who watched Telegram videos next to me and stated how she thought Bernie Sanders was a fascist and J.K. Rowling knows what she is talking about.

She had found a new job, closer to her home with comparable pay, but to be truly happy, she went out of her way to try and ruin my life. For her sake, IDES better side with me on my appeal of Marine Bank's protest because the world need to be warned of her. If you have suggestions on how to provide her with a scarlet letter, let me know.

DazedDigital.com - Ghost World: the ultimate teen girl outsider film

So I may have been in the right mood to see the cinematic adaptation of Daniel Clowes's seminal comic book. If you feel like the rest of the world does not care about how awful they can look, this feature is for you. It lets you know, you are not the only one out there. The dilemma is, should we grow out of this?

When I was introduced to this film in 2004 by my now estranged best friend, both of us may have ignored the question. Or, we just wanted to know why we had to change to fit in instead of the dim ones. It is a story about growing up, and whether or not if it is worth it.

I had intended to at least stick around Champaign/Urbana on Saturday to catch Guillermo del Toro's presentation of the black and white version of his "Nightmare Alley" remake, but my dad offered me a ticket to the Peoria Rivermen's Southern Professional Hockey League's semi-final series conclusion. This ended up being a more expensive endeavor. How was I suppose to know that they would be selling limited edition "Star Wars" hockey sweaters?

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - Ally Presents: Gothika, Juno, Invitations to a Suicide...

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 64: Ally Presents: Gothika, Juno, Invitations to a Suicide... (plus Hawk's Vengeance & King of California).

Ally Presents: Gothika, Juno, Invitation to a Suicide…

April 19, 2022
Well, life happens, and this week's scheduled interview fell through. Fortunately, Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy has provided Cool Movies Darth with plenty of films and inspiration. This week, "NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast" catches up with five of those features: "Gothika", "Hawk's Vengeance", "Invitation to a Suicide", "Juno", and "King of California".

It has kind of been a tough end to the week, and that was before I watched "Gothika". How can you end a ghost story with Fred Durst pissing on the memories of Keith Moon and John Entwistle? How the hell is that music video considered a bonus feature for that DVD? I have to say, I am second guessing my $1 purchase of "Die Another Day". If Mom and Dad can pick and choose the Bond movies they see, why cannot I?

As I stated, the binge was due to my guest having a family issue requiring him to cancel our scheduled interview. Oh how I envy people who have lives that demand sacrifice. It is tough to sell people that I will need the whole of the bereavement time if Eva or Skim passes.

Pinterest @andymovieman

Hopefully, Tim Loss and I will be able to address "Kayfabe", a film about Western Canadian, low-level indie wrestling. The only downside is that I will need to rewatch it for a second time. It was way to accurate when it came to portraying the under trained and phony heroes that Downstate Illinois wrestling is based around. This feature serves as a great cautionary tale about what to do and not do when it comes to promoting wrestling.

Before the cancellation, I was inspired to unknowingly revisit a Gary Daniels movie from the mid-90's. A Canadian action movie seemed like a great film to attach to the wrestling podcast, so "Hawk's Vengeance" was going to be featured this week anyhow.

With that said, this maybe the most coverage that feature has received in 25 years. The only trailer I could find for the film is in French. Pardon me for not scrolling forever on Pinterest for a poster.

It ended up being quite the challenge to find cool media for my "Letter I" feature, "Invitation to a Suicide". This feature is about a young, less buff Pablo Schrieber ("Den of Thieves") who, to pay off a debt to a Russian mobster, decides to be the star of his own snuff film. The film says on the box "A Dark Comedy", but for someone who is passive suicidal, its impact was far greater than I expected. I was almost inspired in the wrong ways, but oh the laughs that could be had.

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - Resident Evil: Welcome to Subtle Paul W.S. Anderson

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 63: Resident Evil: Welcome to Subtle Paul W.S. Anderson (Adaptation vs. Action).

Resident Evil: Welcome to Subtle Paul W.S. Anderson

April 12, 2022
Cool Movies Darth addresses Sony's most important feature of Winter 2021, "Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City". You may dispute this claim, but "Spider-Man: No Way Home" was really a Disney movie. Reimagining narrative video games and creating an action-packed, minimal scare versions of Universal Picture's horror icons has been Sony's bread and butter since 2002. After 20 years of this, it is time to start repainting their established IP.

From what I had gathered from YouTube channels, the general consensus is that this feature was a disappointment. Many "critics"/video game fans felt that most of the actors were miscast, primarily for not looking enough like the video game's characters. There were also complaints about how the feature decided to shove the first three video games into one feature. Then you have Leon S. Kennedy serving as comic relief which seemed blasphemous to the video game fans.

The first issue, I guess I can see, but we recently had Mark Walberg and Tom Holland portraying the leads of "Uncharted". As for shoving three games into one film, two of the games take place at the same time (2 and 3). As for Resi 1, is a haunted house movie going to impress anyone?

Talenthouse: Resident Evil Welcome To Raccoon City Poster (RED) by Andres Vega Mata

Leon being a klutz might insult fans of "Resident Evil 4", but some character in this film needs a hero's journey arc. Every other character being a bad ass works for a video game with little exposition, but everyone being the same in a film can be dull. If you do not have unique gimmicks for each character (Like "Street Fighter"), why would we care about any character's fate.

In the end, I am hoping for a sequel. This flick is competent enough and a nice change from the in your face 3D action that Paul W.S. Anderson's "Resident Evil" series overly relied on. "Welcome to Raccoon City" is a faithful game adaptation. How often do we get that?

Time has seemingly been hard to manage for me recently. As of this post, I have yet to watch a movie this month. I really wanted to return to Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Revue with "Gothika", but living constantly exhausted is something I got to quit? Anyhow, there seems to be a loyal fanbase for the Halle Berry feature. Want to chat about it? Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

90 min. DVD dot Com - "Firepower: For Those Who Wanted Heel Ultimate Warrior"

I think I have gotten use to the standard 9-to-5 lifestyle. Throwing in a sixth day at the retailer makes a social life difficult. Inadvertent sobriety is a thing as well. If only Riot Fest was not cash only bars.

Come on Reggies. I may have had too much fun the couple of times I had been there to remember if I ever ran a tab, but when you sell food and rock tees, somebody there has to have a Square reader. You only lose 28 cents per $10 transaction. Those losses would only come to a free drink by the end of the night.

I am just now learning how to relax again, and that I may not brown like I use to. Sunburn flakes from the forehead can be quite distracting as you handle transactions. Was the punishment worth being a predominately cis-white male two rows back from Bikini Kill headlining a major festival? Fuck yeah! I was sure there was space along the rail in case "girls to the front" was invoked.

Perhaps it was not really punishment. Perhaps no professional wrestler tans well ("The Boondock Saints' 7-11 Rule" still allows me to claim that as a profession, and I still have two weekends of full gear in my Altima's trunk.). This may explain the smudgy appearance of the stock used to shoot "Firepower," an early Gary Daniels film that promises us a kayfabe heel Ultimate Warrior versus Chad McQueen, Johnny Lawrence's number two henchman from "The Karate Kid".

After the 1992 riots, it was probably not a stretch of the imagination for Los Angelinos to imagine that the city would eventually resort to just letting the slums fend for themselves and quit risking peace officers lives. Ten years later (You may need to watch "Wresting with Wregret's Warrior versus Sting" video to get an even more accurate synopsis. This film has no Wikipedia page.), you have the Personal Freedom Zone. Crime rates decreased initially, but with a lack of resources as the exchange for lawlessness, the criminal element needs to expand beyond their borders. The criminal element's primary money maker is distributing a counterfeit AIDS vaccine. LAPD sergeants Darren Braniff and Nick Sledge do not want to return to the practice of safe sex, so whenever the thugs come out to steal pharmaceutical supplies, they are ready to pounce.

One night, a failed robbery results in two of the top villains being captured. One of them is the presumed leader of the conspiracy, the rage and testosterone-filled Swordsman. The Swordsman's gang immediately breaks him out of prison and almost equaled the T-800's 1984 body count in the process. Braniff and Sledge crave their pound of flesh, and ignore the rules of the freedom zone to attempt to recapture the too buff for 1994's WWE monster. They are able to track him to the "Death Ring", a nightly death match competition, that seem to where all the plans and schemes are based out of.

Since the Swordsman is champion, Braniff determine that there is only one way to reach them. They must go undercover and fight their way to him. If they offer to spare his life, maybe he will let them in on the drug ring. The police chief and Braniff's wife are opposed to it, but with Sledge's headstrong nature, they reluctantly allow the boys to proceed. It is an all or nothing proposition and that may be the only attitude that will allow you succeed in the Kill Zone (per the movie poster).

"Firepower" has a dystopian made for DVD action movie premise that I love, but the direction and production fail everyone who actually puts an effort into the project. The three actors worth billing on the box, including James "Warrior" Hellwig give their best, but director Rich Pepin fails to lets us truly appreciate acting near the Keanu Reeves's level. With that said, Gary Daniels needs to be in "John Wick: Chapter 4."

Outside the most interesting characters, the rest of the cast is there for a pay day. And perhaps they got it. That would at least explain why there is only one fight scene that is shot with any cinematic intention, there are virtually no shots from inside the cage fights, and the constant reuse of the same special effects and driving shots in drawn the overly drawn out car chases.

You may ignore those elements because the film stock looks worse than a parody of a Barbara Walters interview. Warrior was out of the pro-wrestling game at the time, so feeling the need to tan was not there. It may not have been the stock. Perhaps if the director would have taken the time to light the scenes properly, the film would not look like it was used by Warrior as a means to blow his nose. If you can afford a couple of explosions, you should be able to afford lights. Because you only needed one explosion due to the tendency to reuse shots, there is no excuse for the lack of lights.

"Firepower" is deserving of a shot-by-shot made for YouTube remake, but if you are not going to devote that time, it otherwise deserves no attention. It is sad because Warrior could have avoided becoming a motivational dick/speaker and the fight scenes could have given us a good Jean-Claude Van Damme knock off. Instead, we have to wait another three years for Gary Daniels to be Britain's Joe Pantoliano of action. Unless you are Spielberg, Tarantino, or an Anderson not married to Milla Jovovich, do not tease the audience with greatness.

www.pinterest.com/BCToyHunter

Monday, April 4, 2022

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - ”Blind Fury” with Gregory Carl

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 62: "Blind Fury" with Gregory Carl (Blind Swordsman vs. A Texan with a Shotgun).

”Blind Fury” with Gregory Carl

April 4, 2022
Gregory Carl returns to NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast to critique the movie that established the equation of Rutger Hauer + Action Gimmick = Low Brow Gold. 1989's "Blind Fury" was an early 90s' basic cable Cubs/Braves rain delay stand by. A blind sword-swinging Hauer vs. Randle "Tex" Cobb screams entertainment. Why would you want to see the Cubs be the Cubs when the game resumed?

Cool Movies Darth is a little more knowledgeable when it comes to the late great Dutch actor than his podcast's guest, so it maybe safe to presume that most casual American movie fans hold an underappreciation of this performer. That is not surprising since he might deliver the best accent work in all of cinema. Gregory did not think that Hauer was not an American for even a second.

In our discussion, Gregory and I determine if anyone predicted the impact of Hauer on Hollywood, it was our moms. Perhaps not Gregory's, but his significant other remembers watching this feature on WGN as a child. My mom loved him "Ladyhawke" (where she claims to have predicted Michelle Pfeiffer rise to fame [as she preferred "Grease 2"]) and more than likely considers "Nighthawks" to be a Christmas movie.

Hauer was such a reliable actor that you might not even notice him in all the great movies that he starred in. "Batman Begins", "Surviving the Game", and of course "Blade Runner" are some of his finest performances, but they are all in supporting roles. He did portray the leads in Sam Peckinpah's "The Osterman Weekend" and Paul Verhoeven's "Flesh+Blood", but they are pretty subtle performances. As an American version of "Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman", it is nice to see him thrive in over-the-top circumstances.

I will say that this film is not as over-the-top and even as good as 2011's "Hobo with a Shotgun", but that feature was more of a tribute to the legend and range of Hauer. That might make for a fun podcast. Any takers? Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

90 min. Family Video - "Feast" or How I Made It Through "Saw IV-VII"

For a fan of the tacky, this month (some where in the Fall of 2009) is pretty big. I am trying to scratch up the change to see Zoe Bell's second major studio role in "Gamer" and to watch "Extract" to maintain my status of being a cynical subculture guru. Also Rob Zombie' vision of "Halloween" being seemingly altered has gained my attention, and we have some other interesting horror flicks like "Pandorum" and "Jennifer's Body". It is my hope that I might actually get around to seeing a "Saw" film for the first time at a cinema.

It is a month where I cannot be taken too seriously, but I am serious about one thing. This thing is trying to catch up with "Sons of Anarchy" to prep myself for the showdown between Henry Rollins and Ron Perlman. Since I do not want to fill the time before the first season is a cheap rental along side the likes of HR classics like "The Chase" and "Johnny Mnemonic", and I have recently purchased "Blade II" and rented other RP movies, it is time for me to finally catch up to the film "Feast" from the writers who continue to make the "Saw" series worthwhile despite the director or lack of Donnie Walberg to mutilate.

It may have been a typical night at this remote Texas bar, but everyone's plans are put on hold when four nightmarish and horny creatures determine that they have found a buffet. Can the patrons band together to defeat this threat, or will they all be dishes at this feast?

Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton have written a film that might be as good as "Evil Dead 2". They immediately tell the audience not to take the film too seriously, but with their device of reminding us of archetypes and the typical horror clichés associated with them, they can still shock the audience by ignoring them as the body count builds.

Like in ED2 and "Night of the Living Dead", the monsters are shown sparingly, but whenever they appear in any capacity, it catches the viewer off guard. Unlike NotLD, the dialogue is never meant to have a deeper meaning and, as long as the viewer is open to the sarcastic approach, it almost always leaves you on the floor rolling.

"Feast" provides the best use of a Henry Rollins (before "He Never Died"). For fans of the tough guy image, you may want to resist enjoying the parody of himself. As the film goes on, and he becomes more ridiculous as the film's biggest ass of a joke, you eventually go nuts for eventual fate.

As for the rest of the human characters, the script does not require much range since they are to stick to their static standard horror-movie tropes. If they fail to do so, the film fails. Fortunately, each actor succeeds.

As for the monsters, they are the most sick and twisted to be put on film since ED2. Thanks to their limited use, the viewer does not get the chance to complain about the inability for the monster to look good when they are shown in their entirety. Another benefit to the lack of them is that everything they do is shocking and sometimes gag worthy. The audience should inevitably revel in the fact that the writers and director were willing to go there when usually such disgusting concepts are reserved for B-movies.

Dunstan and Melton understand that horror (slasher) films can no longer be taken too seriously which allows "Feast" to be a brilliant horror comedy. This might defeat the intention of the concept of "Saw" (explains the just watchable nature of IV and VII), but as long as they never lose their ability to destroy the standards of the genre in the most clever way possible, they might be the most important horror writers of a generation. Provided the audience maintains a sense of humor, Dunstan and Melton will be around for a long time.