Boy Eats Girl: Good Porn Title/Bad Zombie Flick

High school students and zombies, this must sound like a “can’t miss” concept. The Irish/British co-production "Boy East Girl" was not content with having two demographics covered, and drops the ball when it tried to incorporate an "American Pie" coming of age tale into it.

Nathan is a shy student who cannot stop his friends from hassling him when it comes to crush on their best friend Jessica. Eventually, they decide to play cupid by using Nathan’s phone to arrange a meeting between the two. An overprotective father and a douche bag end up ruining the plan, and leaves Nathan believing that Jessica is a slut. Crushed, Nathan flirts around with a pint of whiskey and a noose. Unaware of what he is doing with the music turned up so loud, his mother inadvertently knocks over the chair that he was standing on when she barges into his bedroom.

ranker.com - The Best Ever Horror Comedies

Like any good mother would do, she decides to borrow the book of voodoo from the secret crypt at the local cathedral, and resurrects her son. Unfortunately, she did not realize that the last page was missing, so she cannot prevent him from craving human flesh. After biting a bully at the end term dance, Nathan has unwittingly unleashed a zombie apocalypse. Hopefully, his mother can find the way to reverse the infection before Nathan and company resort to unleashing the fury of farm equipment in the name of defending the little village and Jessica’s honour.

What writer Derek Landy and director Stephen Bradley failed to realize about zombie comedies is the need to have the humor first and action second. The audience wants to see gore, but they want to be able to laugh at it throughout the entire picture. Instead, "Boy Eats Girl" focuses too much on capturing chase sequences than providing the audience with laughs.

A board with a nail to a zombie skull is funny, but the director cannot leave it at “zombie pulls board off.” Why not have him stumble around a bit since he cannot see? Why not let him trip over a fence shrub and take a header into a wood chipper? These zombies are runners, so it is not like they are going to fall too far behind their prey. Most of the humor comes at the expense of Nathan’s dorky sidekicks. This is not necessarily a bad thing as long as they are attached at the protagonist’s hip. Sadly, that is not the case.

To the film’s credit, the gore is really good, but it only gets a pan over by the director. There are a lot of limbs and entrails to trip over, but the audience is never treated to this. The only thing that would excuse the flaws of this zombie comedy would to have a decent love story, but previews of "Twilight" seem to do a better job at that than this film. Our hero’s is a little too worried about saving the town than winning the girl like any good hero should do.

The title to "Boy Eats Girl" is a brilliant one, but it fails to deliver on the assumed premise. It fails to make fun of high school romance and to have fun with the humorous nature of zombies. It is bland throughout, and the viewers are more likely to take up eating human flesh to get rid of the taste the film leaves them with.

 

90-Min DVD dot Com: "Beneath Still Waters" and Far from Budget

Half the fun of watching Lionsgate DVDs is watching the trailers to foreign horror movies they had secured the American distribution rights to. It is about a one in three chance that the film is any good, but their trailers highlight the right things (gore, ridiculous premise, red ban, etc.) to put them in your queue. I am trying to think of one of these features that I had not anticipated seeing (How dare streaming deprive me of this.)

"Beneath Still Waters" was one that I had high hopes for. Yes, a lot of the distributor's films have decadent, Satanic orgies, but this film (trailer) is based on the concept of a modern under water city. This much makes it a cut above "Boy Eats Girl", "Cravings", "Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed", "Undead", etc.

In 1965, a dam was built to modernize Northern Spain. In the name of progress, a town had to be drowned. No one was there of course, except for the followers of the Satanic cult leader Mordecai Salas whom Mayor Borgia intended to stop via the dam's construction.

For 40 years, the evil was left submerged, but shortly after the mayor's death, Salas returns to destroy those who plotted his demise. As the dam's anniversary nears, madness spreads and zombies start to leave their watery tombs. The only person who may stand in his way is Clara, Borgia's granddaughter, but alcoholic photo journalist Dan Quarry and Clara's mother Teresa will not allow the burden to be hers alone.

"Beneath Still Waters" is amusing but that is a result of how corny it is. The chaos is comical since the evil that none of our lead characters experience is defined, and the underwater effects are just awful. There is some great implied gore, but the meaning behind that just is not there.

If the feature had a sense of humor like directors Brian Yuzna's "Bride of Reanimator", it could have been good DIY cinema. Still, the premise may just have been too ambitious. At least for half ass CGI that is.

Just because computers can create new worlds does not mean they should. If you cannot afford the usually expensive effects, do not try to use them. It comes across as insulting if your characters cannot properly interact with the artificial. All of the underwater sequences are a waste, so the film's gimmick is worthless. Because you do not care about the selling point, you will not care about the rest of the movie.

With children being decapitated is a tough premise to green light. Takashi Miike may have been able to make something out of the script for "Beneath Still Waters", and that is because he is a master of cheesy CG. Otherwise, this film was impossible to make without a sizable budget.

IMDb: Beneath Still Waters (2005)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371572

90-Min DVD dot Com: "Beneath Still Waters" and Far from Budget

Half the fun of watching Lionsgate DVDs is watching the trailers to foreign horror movies they had secured the American distribution rights to. It is about a one in three chance that the film is any good, but their trailers highlight the right things (gore, ridiculous premise, red ban, etc.) to put them in your queue. I am trying to think of one of these features that I had not anticipated seeing (How dare streaming deprive me of this.)

"Beneath Still Waters" was one that I had high hopes for. Yes, a lot of the distributor's films have decadent, Satanic orgies, but this film (trailer) is based on the concept of a modern under water city. This much makes it a cut above "Boy Eats Girl", "Cravings", "Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed", "Undead", etc.

In 1965, a dam was built to modernize Northern Spain. In the name of progress, a town had to be drowned. No one was there of course, except for the followers of the Satanic cult leader Mordecai Salas whom Mayor Borgia intended to stop via the dam's construction.

For 40 years, the evil was left submerged, but shortly after the mayor's death, Salas returns to destroy those who plotted his demise. As the dam's anniversary nears, madness spreads and zombies start to leave their watery tombs. The only person who may stand in his way is Clara, Borgia's granddaughter, but alcoholic photo journalist Dan Quarry and Clara's mother Teresa will not allow the burden to be hers alone.

"Beneath Still Waters" is amusing but that is a result of how corny it is. The chaos is comical since the evil that none of our lead characters experience is defined, and the underwater effects are just awful. There is some great implied gore, but the meaning behind that just is not there.

If the feature had a sense of humor like directors Brian Yuzna's "Bride of Reanimator", it could have been good DIY cinema. Still, the premise may just have been too ambitious. At least for half ass CGI that is.

Just because computers can create new worlds does not mean they should. If you cannot afford the usually expensive effects, do not try to use them. It comes across as insulting if your characters cannot properly interact with the artificial. All of the underwater sequences are a waste, so the film's gimmick is worthless. Because you do not care about the selling point, you will not care about the rest of the movie.

With children being decapitated is a tough premise to green light. Takashi Miike may have been able to make something out of the script for "Beneath Still Waters", and that is because he is a master of cheesy CG. Otherwise, this film was impossible to make without a sizable budget.

IMDb: Beneath Still Waters (2005)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371572

Boy Eats Girl: Good Porn Title/Bad Zombie Flick

High school students and zombies, this must sound like a “can’t miss” concept. The Irish/British co-production "Boy East Girl" was not content with having two demographics covered, and drops the ball when it tried to incorporate an "American Pie" coming of age tale into it.

Nathan is a shy student who cannot stop his friends from hassling him when it comes to crush on their best friend Jessica. Eventually, they decide to play cupid by using Nathan’s phone to arrange a meeting between the two. An overprotective father and a douche bag end up ruining the plan, and leaves Nathan believing that Jessica is a slut. Crushed, Nathan flirts around with a pint of whiskey and a noose. Unaware of what he is doing with the music turned up so loud, his mother inadvertently knocks over the chair that he was standing on when she barges into his bedroom.

ranker.com - The Best Ever Horror Comedies

Like any good mother would do, she decides to borrow the book of voodoo from the secret crypt at the local cathedral, and resurrects her son. Unfortunately, she did not realize that the last page was missing, so she cannot prevent him from craving human flesh. After biting a bully at the end term dance, Nathan has unwittingly unleashed a zombie apocalypse. Hopefully, his mother can find the way to reverse the infection before Nathan and company resort to unleashing the fury of farm equipment in the name of defending the little village and Jessica’s honour.

What writer Derek Landy and director Stephen Bradley failed to realize about zombie comedies is the need to have the humor first and action second. The audience wants to see gore, but they want to be able to laugh at it throughout the entire picture. Instead, "Boy Eats Girl" focuses too much on capturing chase sequences than providing the audience with laughs.

A board with a nail to a zombie skull is funny, but the director cannot leave it at “zombie pulls board off.” Why not have him stumble around a bit since he cannot see? Why not let him trip over a fence shrub and take a header into a wood chipper? These zombies are runners, so it is not like they are going to fall too far behind their prey. Most of the humor comes at the expense of Nathan’s dorky sidekicks. This is not necessarily a bad thing as long as they are attached at the protagonist’s hip. Sadly, that is not the case.

To the film’s credit, the gore is really good, but it only gets a pan over by the director. There are a lot of limbs and entrails to trip over, but the audience is never treated to this. The only thing that would excuse the flaws of this zombie comedy would to have a decent love story, but previews of "Twilight" seem to do a better job at that than this film. Our hero’s is a little too worried about saving the town than winning the girl like any good hero should do.

The title to "Boy Eats Girl" is a brilliant one, but it fails to deliver on the assumed premise. It fails to make fun of high school romance and to have fun with the humorous nature of zombies. It is bland throughout, and the viewers are more likely to take up eating human flesh to get rid of the taste the film leaves them with.

Boy Eats Girl: Good Porn Title/Bad Zombie Flick

High school students and zombies, this must sound like a “can’t miss” concept. The Irish/British co-production "Boy East Girl" was not content with having two demographics covered, and drops the ball when it tried to incorporate an "American Pie" coming of age tale into it.

Nathan is a shy student who cannot stop his friends from hassling him when it comes to crush on their best friend Jessica. Eventually, they decide to play cupid by using Nathan’s phone to arrange a meeting between the two. An overprotective father and a douche bag end up ruining the plan, and leaves Nathan believing that Jessica is a slut. Crushed, Nathan flirts around with a pint of whiskey and a noose. Unaware of what he is doing with the music turned up so loud, his mother inadvertently knocks over the chair that he was standing on when she barges into his bedroom.

ranker.com - The Best Ever Horror Comedies

Like any good mother would do, she decides to borrow the book of voodoo from the secret crypt at the local cathedral, and resurrects her son. Unfortunately, she did not realize that the last page was missing, so she cannot prevent him from craving human flesh. After biting a bully at the end term dance, Nathan has unwittingly unleashed a zombie apocalypse. Hopefully, his mother can find the way to reverse the infection before Nathan and company resort to unleashing the fury of farm equipment in the name of defending the little village and Jessica’s honour.

What writer Derek Landy and director Stephen Bradley failed to realize about zombie comedies is the need to have the humor first and action second. The audience wants to see gore, but they want to be able to laugh at it throughout the entire picture. Instead, "Boy Eats Girl" focuses too much on capturing chase sequences than providing the audience with laughs.

A board with a nail to a zombie skull is funny, but the director cannot leave it at “zombie pulls board off.” Why not have him stumble around a bit since he cannot see? Why not let him trip over a fence shrub and take a header into a wood chipper? These zombies are runners, so it is not like they are going to fall too far behind their prey. Most of the humor comes at the expense of Nathan’s dorky sidekicks. This is not necessarily a bad thing as long as they are attached at the protagonist’s hip. Sadly, that is not the case.

To the film’s credit, the gore is really good, but it only gets a pan over by the director. There are a lot of limbs and entrails to trip over, but the audience is never treated to this. The only thing that would excuse the flaws of this zombie comedy would to have a decent love story, but previews of "Twilight" seem to do a better job at that than this film. Our hero’s is a little too worried about saving the town than winning the girl like any good hero should do.

The title to "Boy Eats Girl" is a brilliant one, but it fails to deliver on the assumed premise. It fails to make fun of high school romance and to have fun with the humorous nature of zombies. It is bland throughout, and the viewers are more likely to take up eating human flesh to get rid of the taste the film leaves them with.