*Date this blog entry was started, December 30, 2019
I suppose I need a little chaos. That would make being a hypocrite a little easier. My dreams seem to be themed around a need to just go nuts. Some play into my desire to be involved with the wrestling business. If I just abandoned any sense of normalcy or security, the world could be mine regardless of being 40 and having little cardio. Adrenaline can get me through strong-style, but slowing down for psychology would kill me.
A coworker at the day job said he was reading through a list of "straight edge" celebrities. I cannot say anything bad about them, especially the athletes, provided they do not make that their identity (i.e. I am better than you). Before I actually started living like an adult, my alcohol consumption was rare. But, I appreciated the freedom to have a drink, so there was a fifth of vodka in my closet incase I felt the urge to indulge. At least in my early 20's, that was something I did not need in my life, but I would rather have it than wish for it. Hence, my feeling that I am walking hypocrisy.
Is it weakness or just boredom? With my retail job seemingly scared to schedule me after the 19-day stretch into Black Friday (I should check the deal of the day to see if they can trap me for a few hours tonight like they did last week. An 86" LG 4K TV for $1,800 is tempting.), the holiday season has kind of felt like a winter break. There is no way that I should have the freedom to watch both nights of Wrestle Kingdom live or get to go to a Saturday poker night.
No comments:
Post a Comment