Wednesday, July 15, 2020

90-min Pro Wrestling Crate - "Boone: The Bounty Hunter: All Heart, No Vision"

*Blog post started on July 7, 2020.

I am still recovering from my recent move. The biggest disappointment is missing out on the most recent "Pokémon Shield" event involving an electric cat Pocket Monster, so things are not too bad.

My DVR did not carry over from the move, so I need to get it set to record NBC News. When "The Daily Show" is taking a couple of weeks off, I become a little out of touch. It is a good thing that my parents are in the midst of a move, so they are just too tired to bitch about the world. That means no biased content is coming my way.

I guess what is starting to wear on me is the solitude. It would not work if my ex moved back in with me, but I catch myself trying to figure out how I could safe proof the residence to allow for it. Her cat misses her and is probably going a bit stir crazy without her around. The urge to feel bad starts to well up, but then I appreciate not having found a long stringy hair in two weeks.

It was a lot easier feeling active and social back when I moved to Champaign four years prior. I had to learn the lay of the land, and the dating game seemed easier. Would that have kept up? Probably not, but at least I was in a position to shape the world without anyone else's input being a determining factor. Now, the feeling of being an unappreciated cog in a clock is my vibe. My place/role in the CU has been set. Fate needs to settle in the spoiled Chicagoland brats who may not have classes to attend, but cannot afford to have mom and dad fail to fill out those leases.

That would have been a perfect transition into a review for Douglas Trumbull's 1972 classic "Silent Running", but the disc was split nearly in half when I opened the Netflix envelope. A review for a ninety-minute movie was needed since I did not know what the real world was like, so I turned to my unwatched 50. "Mysterious Skin" did not have the fun Gregg Araki vibe that attracts me to his work ("Splendor", "The Doom Generation") and I really would like to make Woody Allen's "Melinda and Melinda" a date flick (Just remember not to mention Allen when I pitch it).

It turns out that the prior two films mentions do not qualify for NinetyforChill.com, so I might have cleared out the 97-minute or less portion of my yet to be opened DVDs. A reason to feel like I am still accomplishing shit. Not as much as WWE's John Morrison did with his self-financed "Boone: The Bounty Hunter", but I have a feeling I can get there...if I could get some inquiries about my B-movie "Main Event of the Dead" an ode to zombies and the indies. Ask for a treatment or provide suggestions to move the project forward with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. Thank you.

Boone: The Bounty Hunter


Boone was a decorated Iraq War veteran who came home and found that his true calling was becoming bounty hunter. He was able to spin this into a successful television show. By focusing on catching C-list celebrities with his parkour skills, his show brought a pleasant change to the genre dominated by Bible-thumping bigots. Sadly, this type of show is a fad and the network is going to pull the plug on Boone's dreams after they finish recording the season finale.

Not willing to go down without a fight, Boone calls in a favor with Cage from the DEA who owes him a favor. Cage lets him know about the spoiled millennial Ryan Davenport, an indicted murderer who has skipped bail and crossed the border. If Boone picks him up and brings him back, the bounty will at least keep the lights on and the low-budget for this mission will make it a show that the networks will have to pick up. There are a couple problems with this plan.

Firstly, bounty hunting is illegal in Mexico. Secondly, Davenport's father is a merciless drug kingpin. Boone's producer and his best friend Jackson will not follow him into this mess. But the thickheaded and seemingly invincible Boone only needs his camera crew. Surely that will be enough to face any adversity that may befall them.

"Boone: The Bounty Hunter" is a fun way to waste sometime. It is primarily a promotional tool for the top noncontracted wrestling talent at the time, and works very well to let the major promotions know what John Morrison can bring to their brand. Thus, the film does not offer anything clever or new, but what it does provide is amusing enough.

The movie is beyond a straight-forward tale of a man finding out how to become a true hero. If it had a budget and a director with artistic vision, the tale could be turned into something fantastic. Morrison lacks the seriousness to be a convincing hero, but would make a great sidekick. We enjoy watching him try to make the film work like a parent cheering on their child from the youth soccer sidelines. It is a feature that knows that all it has to do is not offend the audience, and will not get mad watching it.

John Morrison has provided Family Videos across the nation the ideal movie to have running in preparation of the, "what do you recommend that no one has seen," query. "Boone: The Bounty Hunter" is fun and inoffensive which is all you should expect for a $2.00 rental. You do not need to see this flick, but if you want to create a cheap movie to show the world what you have to offer creatively, this flick is a great blue print.

imdb.com - Boone: The Bounty Hunter (2017)


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