The Animated "Hobbit" - Wee Frustrations

It ends up that I may have to buy the DVD of 1977's "The Hobbit" by directors Rankin and Bash. You know those guys best as the director of all the seasonal TV specials that first and second grade teachers used to kill time and allow them to zone out until the holiday break.

This "Hobbit" blog is being written just so I can practice writing, so do not expect a true review. I was drinking vodka, experimenting with Malort and playing "WWE 2K16" until 7:00 am. When the "True Blood" inspired dreaming ended, I had an hour and a half to get ready for work. My plan is to pick up some groceries when I get out of work and maybe I'll check out some Black Friday deals at Walmart.

Fuck, it'll be Thursday at midnight. No deals for me. Well, groceries are needed, so I may not have the time to write in my journal to fulfill my strict practice of writing something each night. This blog will have to do.

The reason (I know, finally), that I need to buy this DVD is that I think I might be able to cut the Extended Peter Jackson "Hobbit" Trilogy into a more concise film. I'm aiming for 2:45.

In other words, I wasn't much frustrated in this animated title, just all the unnecessary stuff in the most recent incarnation of this Tolkien book. I mean, if you are going to have a Dwarf/Elf love tale, Peter Dinklage better have demanded it so that he could be cast in the film. No Tyrion, I cannot help but wonder how much time Jackson and Del Toro auteurism took up.

Del Toro may not have impressed me with "Hellboy 2's" Perlman/Blair chemistry, but there is no need for him to make up for it. Has Peter Jackson ever really told a love story? I will say "Heavenly Creatures" did have the intensity of one, but that's not what we got with the trilogy.

Now 80 minutes is not enough time to tell this story, so the action does not really happen in this film, so points to the new features. And I did like the Jackson films calling bullshit on a talking thrush saving Lake Town. But just because you ignored one bird doesn't allow you to get rid of the talking army of eagles.

"The Hobbit" trilogy ends up being too clever for its own good, but it is the superior version to be translated to the big screen. I figure if I can make the best version of his film, surely people will dedicate time to "Main Event of the Dead (treatments available by request at russthebus07@gmail.com).

90-Minute Redbox: Hotel Artemis for Dogs

If only Myspace could be viewed in its original beauty. It would allow me to see how prolific I was in blogging when the dancers at Big Al's declared me the most intellectual man in Peoria.

Do I miss 2007 to 2009? Thank the gods for cats or the time between then and now would be a wash. Unfortunately for me, I kind of have their attitude, so needless to say, it would be a while till much got done to correct myself.

You end up at the iHotel where the employees who were there from day one to hear "If Mr. Fox sees you using downtime to write or study, you would be fired." No bumps and no ranting. It almost makes not realizing that they had given you two weeks of vacation time a fair exchange to take a less stressful hotel job.

The lesson here is not to think about your past when you already nailed down your movie review's blog title. You are left with only having, "that hotel may have been stressful, but not as much as the one Jodie Foster was manning," as your "smooth" transition to one of 2018's attempt to capture Quentin Tarantino's too hip vibe, "Hotel Artemis."

Hotel Artemis

Two brothers' bank heist is hindered by no one knowing how to break into or open the safe. With the water riots consuming Los Angeles, the rich are just trying to make sure their ill-begotten goods are secure. This leads the brothers to decide to settle on whatever goods disgruntled errand runners are willing to part with, including a fountain pen full of canary diamonds that the younger brother decides to take with him despite the warning of its courier.

It must have been cursed because upon leaving, the riot cops find that they are a better target to engage leaving one member of the crew dead and the other three suffering from wounds, the little brother critically. Fortunately, despite having been retired, the elder brother has kept up his membership dues with the Hotel Artemis, LA's premiere criminal emergency room, so they should be able to get fixed up and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Now Waikiki and Honolulu upon checking in, Waikiki finds out there may be too many variables to survive the night. His ex-flame Nice, the premier hitwomen in the world, is obviously on a job, but we do not know the target. It is never good to have a coked up arms dealer with a never sunny disposition around, and the son of the Wolfking of Los Angeles is locking the place down to ensure that his wounded dad will not be turned away.

Everest is a beefed up health care professional and guardian whose talents operates both ways, but if the Wolfking finds out Honolulu has his diamonds, the no weapon policy may not be enough to allow any of the nurse's patients to get out alive. The nurse is also trying to save the life of a cop does not help matters. All the house rules will be broken, but that is what was bound to happen when you only care for rule breakers.

With a list of real tag team and women's champions already documented, perhaps trying to find the "Reservoir Dogs" knock off each year should be my next project. I will have to get around to "Bad Times at the El Royale" but until then, Drew Pearce's directorial debut "Hotel Artemis" gets to at least claim firsties for the title.

Pearce's feature either had actors who did not want to have fun or a script that was too focused on mechanics to keep most viewers' interest. He had written "Iron Man 3" and "Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation." Both movies are enjoyable, but the construction of the stories are off compared to their predecessors. When we get to the action sequences, it is hard to know what we should be focused on and the ending leaves us with a lot of questions to what actually happened in the climax. The credits end with an invitation to return to the Hotel and a thanks for staying, but I would need extra honors point to inspire me to need those answers.

If the actors were given some witty dialogue along the way, perhaps be allowed to improvise, this would be a rewarding watch. Unfortunately, it is too involved moving the film forward (Batista, Jodie Foster and Jeff Goldblum might be too much for an hour and a half), we do not get it. Definitely a waste of a fine cast with an exception to Charlie Day who is playing his "Always Sunny" character without any meme-able lines.

I told my girlfriend about "Hotel Artemis" being another attempt to capture Tarantino's major film debut, and she responded with "why can't they let Reservoir Dogs just be Reservoir Dogs?" A proper response would be, "at least it was not a remake," but Tarantino has made us want action movies about archetypes. As long as there is that want, we are going to keep getting repackaged versions.

"Hotel Artemis" wants to have a clever story, but fails to realize that everything needs to be clever to be something we could picture Harvey Keitel in. Otherwise, release it straight to DVD the same week as "Guardians" and give Batista top bill. There is a lesson in profit.

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The Animated "Hobbit" - Wee Frustrations

The Animated "Hobbit" - Wee Frustrations

It ends up that I may have to buy the DVD of 1977's "The Hobbit" by directors Rankin and Bash. You know those guys best as the director of all the seasonal TV specials that first and second grade teachers used to kill time and allow them to zone out until the holiday break.

Thank the gods for the Common Core puzzling all Americans. Teachers need the four hours the old VHS tapes would kill to make sure they can answer all the questions and complaint letters by parents who lost their jobs to imported employees from more educationally sound nations. I am actually surprised that teachers thought dealing with students screaming for them to fast forward through commercials or adjust the tracking on these dubs was better than coming up with lesson plans. At least the tapes kept kids from safety scissor and paste accidents.

Sorry for the little rant, but let me bring it full circle. I actually had a Civics teacher (first year) decide to kill a couple of classes showing "The Hobbit." He may have ran out of stories from his glory days as a Notre Dame (Peoria) wrestler and baseball player. Or, Rankin/Bash is something that all teachers are suppose to familiarize themselves with and show to justify the knowledge. In other words, I need to find out what the code name for this course is.

If I am going back to school next year, I may as well have enough hours from Illinois Central College to claim I have enough for a Bachelor's Degree. This would be like the Bachelor's Degree my dad was given so he would have to enter the draft.

This "Hobbit" blog is being written just so I can practice writing, so do not expect a true review. I was drinking vodka, experimenting with Malort and playing "WWE 2K16" until 7:00 am. When the "True Blood" inspired dreaming ended, I had an hour and a half to get ready for work. My plan is to pick up some groceries when I get out of work and maybe I'll check out some Black Friday deals at Walmart.

Fuck, it'll be Thursday at midnight. No deals for me. Well, groceries are needed, so I may not have the time to write in my journal to fulfill my strict practice of writing something each night. This blog will have to do.

The reason (I know, finally), that I need to buy this DVD is that I think I might be able to cut the Extended Peter Jackson "Hobbit" Trilogy into a more concise film. I'm aiming for 2:45.

In other words, I wasn't much frustrated in this animated title, just all the unnecessary stuff in the most recent incarnation of this Tolkien book. I mean, if you are going to have a Dwarf/Elf love tale, Peter Dinklage better have demanded it so that he could be cast in the film. No Tyrion, I cannot help but wonder how much time Jackson and Del Toro auteurism took up.

Del Toro may not have impressed me with "Hellboy 2's" Perlman/Blair chemistry, but there is no need for him to make up for it. Has Peter Jackson ever really told a love story? I will say "Heavenly Creatures" did have the intensity of one, but that's not what we got with the trilogy.

Now 80 minutes is not enough time to tell this story, so the action does not really happen in this film, so points to the new features. And I did like the Jackson films calling bullshit on a talking thrush saving Lake Town. But just because you ignored one bird doesn't allow you to get rid of the talking army of eagles.

"The Hobbit" trilogy ends up being too clever for its own good, but it is the superior version to be translated to the big screen. I figure if I can make the best version of his film, surely people will dedicate time to "Main Event of the Dead (treatments available by request at russthebus07@gmail.com).

I kind a wish this trilogy was on VHS. I'd feel like more of an editor. Until I get this feature done, please study my following MEOTD proposal.

The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:

• Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
• The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
• Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
• One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
• A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we'll make replacing it a priority.

Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.

If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

The Animated "Hobbit" - Wee Frustrations

It ends up that I may have to buy the DVD of 1977's "The Hobbit" by directors Rankin and Bash. You know those guys best as the director of all the seasonal TV specials that first and second grade teachers used to kill time and allow them to zone out until the holiday break.

Thank the gods for the Common Core puzzling all Americans. Teachers need the four hours the old VHS tapes would kill to make sure they can answer all the questions and complaint letters by parents who lost their jobs to imported employees from more educationally sound nations. I am actually surprised that teachers thought dealing with students screaming for them to fast forward through commercials or adjust the tracking on these dubs was better than coming up with lesson plans. At least the tapes kept kids from safety scissor and paste accidents.

Sorry for the little rant, but let me bring it full circle. I actually had a Civics teacher (first year) decide to kill a couple of classes showing "The Hobbit." He may have ran out of stories from his glory days as a Notre Dame (Peoria) wrestler and baseball player. Or, Rankin/Bash is something that all teachers are suppose to familiarize themselves with and show to justify the knowledge. In other words, I need to find out what the code name for this course is.

If I am going back to school next year, I may as well have enough hours from Illinois Central College to claim I have enough for a Bachelor's Degree. This would be like the Bachelor's Degree my dad was given so he would have to enter the draft.

This "Hobbit" blog is being written just so I can practice writing, so do not expect a true review. I was drinking vodka, experimenting with Malort and playing "WWE 2K16" until 7:00 am. When the "True Blood" inspired dreaming ended, I had an hour and a half to get ready for work. My plan is to pick up some groceries when I get out of work and maybe I'll check out some Black Friday deals at Walmart.

Fuck, it'll be Thursday at midnight. No deals for me. Well, groceries are needed, so I may not have the time to write in my journal to fulfill my strict practice of writing something each night. This blog will have to do.

The reason (I know, finally), that I need to buy this DVD is that I think I might be able to cut the Extended Peter Jackson "Hobbit" Trilogy into a more concise film. I'm aiming for 2:45.

In other words, I wasn't much frustrated in this animated title, just all the unnecessary stuff in the most recent incarnation of this Tolkien book. I mean, if you are going to have a Dwarf/Elf love tale, Peter Dinklage better have demanded it so that he could be cast in the film. No Tyrion, I cannot help but wonder how much time Jackson and Del Toro auteurism took up.

Del Toro may not have impressed me with "Hellboy 2's" Perlman/Blair chemistry, but there is no need for him to make up for it. Has Peter Jackson ever really told a love story? I will say "Heavenly Creatures" did have the intensity of one, but that's not what we got with the trilogy.

Now 80 minutes is not enough time to tell this story, so the action does not really happen in this film, so points to the new features. And I did like the Jackson films calling bullshit on a talking thrush saving Lake Town. But just because you ignored one bird doesn't allow you to get rid of the talking army of eagles.

"The Hobbit" trilogy ends up being too clever for its own good, but it is the superior version to be translated to the big screen. I figure if I can make the best version of his film, surely people will dedicate time to "Main Event of the Dead (treatments available by request at russthebus07@gmail.com).

I kind a wish this trilogy was on VHS. I'd feel like more of an editor. Until I get this feature done, please study my following MEOTD proposal.

The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:

• Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
• The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
• Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
• One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
• A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we'll make replacing it a priority.

Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.

If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.