You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of VUDU.
That was lot of
research in how I purchased "Ultraviolet" to justify cutting out some
sleep for content. I think coming up with a David Bowie/Jim Henson
reference about a Milla Jovovich headlined film demonstrates my genius.
With that said, I
think you should give my pro-wrestling zom-com "Main Event of the Dead"
some attention. Feel free to request a treatment of the script via
russthebus07@gmail.com. Promotional suggestions would be nice to get this B-movie script into production.
Regardless of my genius, I am glad "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter"
clocked in at 1:47. This means that I will not have to repeat that quest
for cleverness. Not putting Iain Glen's or Ruby Rose's name on the
poster makes me feel that it does not deserve more promotion.
The
search for a digital receipt in the @MainEventZombie Twitter account's
email (after my primary email search failed) also let me find some
classic tweets from the "@midnight" era. I now have approved stingers
for blog post. Unfortunately I will not have the time to write this blog
in one sitting. Ironic,
because dove right into this blog morning. It just took me the majority
of it adjusting the layout. Too much Pinterest time to balance the
content and empty space is all I will say about that.
Because I stayed up two hours for blog content, that means there was not
that much excitement to be had this week. At least that I can complain
about that is. If I choose to move to a big city and get back into
hospitality, dragging the name of a corporation that feels just in
screwing me out of a wedding trip through the mud would probably be ill
advised.
And as I typed that up, my better quarter (of course I am giving Eva the
cat the majority of my quality) is desperate for a road trip, despite a
wedding will not allow for the sites of the DC area, so I will need to
come up with reservations today from the corporation that will not even
revisit my Better Business Bureau complaint until Saturday. If the wage I
made under them was not insult enough.
It may be a good idea to try selling my movie idea directly to All Elite
Wrestling. If they buy it and let me into their fold, I can totally
bury them. You can tell I am coming up on 40 if that is now the dream.
Aside from my past coming back to bite me in a bad way (I would not mind
if the portion that ditched me for their sobriety was doing the
knawing), there is not much stress in my life otherwise. Communication
between me and my girlfriend could be better, but it forced us to have
fun at a coworker hosted Halloween party. That is a new experience for
us. Here is to hoping to keep that rolling at my other job's Illini
Hockey night tomorrow.
As I said, communication could be better. Halloween was cool with her
getting over the arguments of me buying stuff/spoiling her. She at least
laughed off the concept that there may come a day where she may be of
no worth to me, so exploit it while she can. The main determining factor
in the need to better communicate is that we watched "Beetlejuice" for
the holiday evening. Tim Burton's second feature is only an hour and 32
minutes. If she would have only suggested this viewing 24 hours earlier,
I would not have to reevaluate my decision of repurchasing a Milla
Jovovich film that I was only holding on to the DVD of for her
commentary track to explain what the hell this action flick was.
That lack of communication hurts more than me not pushing her into
allowing me to abandon the wedding and letting me head to Downtown
Peoria and Berwyn for My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, a sex on wheels
weekend. Maybe I am a one-man relapse device.
Ultraviolet
In a world you may not understand, humans have been warring with hemophages, those infected with a vampiric virus originally designed to create better soldiers. This is not a trailer so that neither works as a great opening line for this review or the film. Exposition has a purpose, but the primary message of the film is that explanations are something that can be abandoned when you have CG. The story is about Violet, a single-hemophage killing machine who is looking for a cure to the virus which may be in the package she has stolen from Vice Cardinal Daxus, the de-facto leader of the human government. An end to hemoglophagia would serve as a revenge for the system causing her to lose her husband and unborn child via experimentation.
Instead of there being vials and needles, the package is a young clone
of Daxus. The boy, Six, holds the key to a cure, but it has nothing to
physically do with him. What is established is that the kid is dying.
Because the kid's a work in progress, Daxus want to regain all of that
tissue. It may not be the end of this viral age, but Violet's maternal
instincts will make it so she will protect and allow Six the most anyone
can get out of life.
I hate to be so harsh, probably because it reflects on my own taste and
desire to claim Milla Jovovich as a talented actress, but "Ultraviolet"
is a mess on every level. After completing that statement, Jovovich was
not a mess. Her performance was as good as the script allowed, but the
director's attempt to make her a PG-13 level pin up in every shot shows
that writer/director Kurt Wimmer has/had a greater obsession with her
presence than any nerd on the planet.
He is/was aware that she is married to his style over substance peer
Paul W.S. Anderson? His phoney gunkata martial arts is not going to
whisk her off her feet. Did he even perceive how stupid punching with a
gun firing in the same hand looks?
Wimmer is synonymous with incoherent story telling. He is an M. Night
Shyamalan knock off without any chill. Everything has to be a twist. As I
had already established, the film thinks it did not need exposition it
because of the "cutting-edge" computer graphics. This created an
environment that makes it dependent upon his curveball nature. You need a
fastball to establish the strike zone, otherwise all your off-speed
offerings will require Bob Ueker descriptions.
As for the CG, high definition, let alone FDR (bought into the 4K too
soon), has not been kind to it. It felt like "Tron" but with everything
filled in. The lines in the Disney classic are thin. If they were
filled, it becomes a blur of color. The film also seems to lean on,
"obviously this isn't real, so bullets and explosions can look cooler."
These bullets and explosions would makes this a B-Movie if you were
unaware of the budget.
Despite all of the flaws, if you are looking to direct action, I can see
this film providing some situations that you can only improve upon. The
film may even look good in storyboards. Timur Berkmambetov has some
very similar scenes in his big three features, ("Day Watch", "Night
Watch", and "Wanted"). He is a now under-rated director (I will get back
to you about "Ben-Hur" [a $5 iTunes special]), so as far as I am
concerned, those are now his scenes. If he got the inspiration from this
film, he braver than I. I have only watched this thrice.
"Ultraviolet" is an attempt to create something cool without giving the
prospective audience a reason to. Milla Jovovich already had "Resident
Evil", so this was totally unnecessary. Perhaps you can appreciate some
of the intentions, but you are probably looking for reasons to justify
spending any of your money on this feature.
This is a tutorial into how to waste $30 million and potential IP for
the sake of being an auteur. Director/Writer Kurt Wimmer may have proven
with this film to be a bigger disaster than Ed Wood. "Ultraviolet" is
best viewed with a couple of robot friends and some illicit substances.
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