90 min Family Video: "Moscow Chill": A Daryl that Deserves to Die

Going through my old college note/movie critique composition books from 11 years ago has been a somewhat masochistic experience. At this point, it has been a one to three ratio of good versus bad movies. I kind of feel like a subpar Frankenstein. Resurrection is something you really should do your damnedest not to screw up.

Is showing the clever nature of my writing worth reminding myself of wasted time and promoting bad movies?

Well, there are only so many comics to read and current thoughts to document that will kill time at what is essentially a one-hour photo of a job. There is only so much passion that I can have for being a convenience. That might not be the right attitude having just failed the test to be promoted.

At least this review should not surprise me. I had so much disdain for "Absolon" and "Equilibrium", I was shocked that I could be so harsh on clever flicks. This one was a definite lesson of where obscure fandom can take you. It is a place where you ponder if Daryl Dixon is really that cool.

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Moscow Chill

After viewing and eventually purchasing a used copy of "The Insatiable" with Sean Patrick Flannery, I think it is only fair to give a Norman Reedus movie a rent. Anyhow, I wanted to get pumped for the winter release of "The Boondock Saints II".

If my blogs that started the "Main Event of the Dead" are not an indication of how much I grew as a person since 2009, I do not know what is. Perhaps I should try and make a nontoxic masculinity cut of Troy Duffy's flick to show my potential in filmmaking. It might be the best way to get inquiries about my zombie-comedy "Main Event of the Dead". If you want a treatment of my script or have any suggestions on how to promote my B-movie about pro-wrestling and the undead, shoot me an email at russthebus07@gmail.com.

Logic (at least mine) says this transaction should work out. I liked the "Saints" and I liked Russian cinema ranging from "Battleship Potemkin" to "Night Watch" and "Day Watch", so this should work. Surely all modern directors are like Timur Bekmanbetov, and like Bekmanbetov, this movie should have vampires in some capacity. I know it has computers, so if no bloodsuckers, it could be a poor man's "Wanted".

Ray is an anarchist hacker who is stuck in rehab for his latest stunt. He can no longer use a computer for any purpose. A Russian mobster does not want to see his talents go to waste, so he is busted out and flown to Moscow. His assignment, find 40 million dollars in dirty money and funnel it into his new employer's account. As long as the original thieves do not find out, this maybe the greatest computer scam ever pulled. For the regard that comes with the title of greatest hacker, how can Ray resist?

"Moscow Chill" is nothing like its box art suggests. There are no action sequences that this film can boast about and it lacks the hip vibe that would attract someone my age to Angelina Jolie's classic "Hackers" (I have not seen "Hackers", but mid-90's zeitgeist.). If you squint, it could be compared to "War Games" due to the lack of subtle espionage, but it lacks well developed characters or humor, the latter of which the fans of Reedus know is one of his strong suits. When it takes 50 minutes for conflict to occur and there is no new character development after this point, the viewer realizes they have wasted a bowl of popcorn.

If anything, "Moscow Chill" is nothing more than a brochure to show the city's new bohemia. The film offers nothing innovative and does not even try to use the talent associated with it. It is not a painful experience, but neither was study hall.