Monday, May 4, 2020

90-Min Amazon Prime: "Wild Card' and Jason Statham vs. William Goldman

*Blog post started on April 30, 2020.

Things keep getting weirder during the lockdown. Tuesday, it was 2:00 am and the monotony of trying to get enough virtual currency to purchase Beth Phoenix in "WWE 2K19" (to then be able to download the best Nyla Rose before the servers shut down in May) was wearing on me. Aside from watching "The Daily Social Distancing Show" and eating Taco Bell after work and errands, the ex-girlfriend decided to be her aloof self in the living room. All of the 4K gear is in that room and I have yet to watch my "Rise of Skywalker" disc yet. I lay back and let out a "Go to fucking bed *redacted*."

"What was that?"

"Just talking to myself."

So the lesson should have just been, play video games like Simon Pegg did on "Spaced" and no one will pay attention to my cursing from the spare room. Then I got back from work last night.

She was frustrated because her ex-fiancé and then leading candidate for next roommate had wanted a custom face covering. Her mom had requested one the prior day and her father keeps breaking his. It is quite the work load and its keeping her away from her Etsy shop. On top of that, she gets a call mid process from this "gentleman":

"Is it okay if I put NRA on his mask."

"He'll look like an asshole, but I'm sure he'd say 'free country'."

"They're only trying to protect the right to bear arms."

"Do I need to pull up NRA TV?"

Wednesday is a good night for TV. "AEW Dynamite" from 7 pm to 9 pm. "South Park" from 9 to 9:30 pm. "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee" from 9:30 to 10 pm, and Trevor Noah's show at 10 pm. I got comfy so I did not really worry about the ex not sharing the experience. That was until her cat wanted attention.

"I think I may just move to *redacted*. I wanna keep Skim."

"You're not going to lose him."

It turns out, it maybe about the guy she was thinking about moving in with.

I got a movie review, that turns out to be prophetic when it comes to the scenario above, so I am going to skip some details. Things were also weird because I was experiencing my first NSFW picture exchange on Snap Chat. Somehow we got to bonding over all the madness going around and thinking about our stimulus checks, the fun of not moving came to mind. We are not going to get back together anytime soon, but maybe we could look after each other during the fall out.

This relates to the movie because it is about a character who seems co-dependent on the people of Las Vegas. He needs to get out, but that could be too easy. And what happens after he captures his dream? How will he stay sane? It is William Goldman's last screenplay, so there has got to be some intellect to it. But not since "Snatch", when has there been a Jason Statham movie that had that ("Revolver" and maybe "Safe", but "Expendables", "Crank", and "The Transporter" definitely lack that.)?

Wild Card


Nick Wild is a tough guy with a heart of gold who claims his only goal is to get out of Las Vegas. If this was really a priority for him, why is he quick to refuse extra cash for being such a great guy? But what would the good people Vegas do without him though? Who is going to serve as bodyguard to the idealist young tech billionaires? More importantly, how else will the recently raped and beaten sex worker settle her score with an arrogant mafia son? There is so much to do, is there even a way for Nick to find time to gamble away his cash in the hopes of divine intervention that will send him to live out the rest of his days in the Mediterranean?

"Wild Card" is based on Goldman's novel "Heat" which was adapted into a Burt Reynolds's movie in the mid-80's. From all accounts, including Goldman's, that film was a disaster. It sounded like it was more of Reynolds's vanity project from what I read, so I will not be revisiting that feature.

Reynolds's personality seems too big for the Nick character. Every Burt character is Burt. Jason Statham plays the same character every film, but he does not go out of his way to let you know that he is the same character. He is also a legit action star, so he is more believable when things in any film get crazy. At least for Goldman, the casting presents a good template for him to work with.

The rest of the supporting cast in this film is great and despite it being sold as an action flick from a promotional standpoint, you start to wish this could be a mafia version of "The Princess Bride". Sadly, the film does not click. Every performer is on their game and there is some brilliant dialogue, but the studio does not know if the film should focus on the gambling elements or the action. It ends up feeling clunky and being only adequately directed does not cover that up.

If you are looking for an action movie, I think "Wild Card" will disappoint. If you are looking for a William Goldman film, you will get to see the glimpses of a couple good ones, but they do not make a great whole. Fortunately, this film is for the Jason Statham fans, so if you are one, this is a pleasant change of pace.


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