Monday, December 2, 2019

90 min. Netflix "4 Got 10": Once Upon a Time with Zero Whimsey

a.k.a. "The Good, the Bad and the Dead"

It is a lot of work, but you need to do a little research once you say to yourself, "This could be fun." If a film has two titles, skip it. This will require both IMDb and Wikipedia, but until WWE licenses a Bray Wyatt montage before Nefllix's direct to DVD acquisitions, how will you know when to run.

Dated Wrestling Rant:

And that's how you increase your shareholders profits Vince McMahon. If you take that money and buy the "Broken Universe" from Anthem, the stock might result in a $1 dividend. GFW will survive as well. Preventing bad Dolph Lundgren flicks from being viewed is best for business.

Back to a tale of Wasting of Danny Trejo:

It is obvious a drug deal has gone bad. A used car parking lot (if not a car lot, a lot with a Martin Luther King Blvd address) with a corpse for each bumper serves as an homage to the desert standard "No Country for Old Men" set. Adding title cards for each archetype is usually the indications of an action flick with clever ambitions. Unfortunately, there is no witty dialogue when the sheriff (Michael Pare) shoots his deputy to go James Brolin on us only to receive a life-threatening shot to the ear from an amnesiac survivor (Johnny "Eric Young should have best cast" Messner). To keep the audience thinking, director Timothy Woodard Jr (who seems to have taken inspiration stylistically from Uwe Boll) is going to use a twist for every scene.

The primary twist is not the amnesia gimmick, it is the fact that the dead deputy is the rebellious son of Mateo Perez (Danny Motherlov'n Trejo), the biggest drug dealer the DEA has ever known. Perez will be on a quest for vengeance, the sheriff is out to save his own neck, and Rooker (Lungren) is trying to put the pieces together. With so many supporting players, the clueless amnesiac is suppose to hold the film together. Too bad there is not the necessary nudity or action sequences to amuse us on his quest to regain his memory.

"4 Got 10" has a shorter plot synopsis than "Death Squad", so that means it will be less painful. If you can endure the first 70 minutes, where only three rounds are fired, you will be rewarded with "MST3K" worthy, slow-motion-dependent action sequences. You may never curse Zack Snyder again. #releasethesnydercut

Woodward must have been desperate to avoid this film from being labeled a short. The overuse of slo-mo is so bad that you can see the stuntman's flammable gel before he goes up in smoke while still holding his own in a fire fight. If the humor was more than Lundgren digging through a truck stop trash can, we could have had a so bad it is good film.

"4 Got 10" is evidence that all screenwriters should follow the page a minute rule. If Sean Ryan did this, there would have been no reward in sitting through this garbage. Hence, it would not have been made. With that said, try googling "Danny Trejo slow-mo gun fight" and you may receive the fruit of this labor without wasting so much time.

Perhaps "4 Got 10" is the Li'l Bub of bad movies. No, that is probably "The Beast of Hollow Mountain" which is part of Netflix's "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return." Netflix has you taken care of regardless.


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