90 min. of Prime: "Death Warrant" Coincidentally the Dog in the Flaming Room Meme

 

It definitely felt like a busier week for me. Going out to see fireworks, that is definitely busy work.

Please pardon my lack of patriotism. Forgive me for watching fireworks with my English Football tattoos exposed due to my Marty Scurll and Zack Zabre Jr. tank top. But listen to me about how The American Revolution was nothing more than a ploy to serve the rich. I do not know if I can flush that one out into a great piece of satire at this point, so that indoctrination will be for another time.

Regardless, God Save the Queen and Fuck the Video Assisted Referee (any good ref could have seen the offsides and the penalty).

On the topic of great foreign things that have fallen on hard time (I cannot wait for the Prince Charles take on "JVCD"), Jean-Claude Van Damme was one of those. As an action star, not an actor of course. If you have a writer as wise as David S. Goyer who knows how to justify an Los Angeles cop with an accent, you are in for some good stuff. If only I had those details before I accidentally came across the ridiculous finale of "Death Warrant" on cable.

10 years later, as someone who appreciates the Zack Snyder's DC trilogy, I can revel in the ridiculous premises that Goyer lays out. If only "Superman" had Van Damme's personality, I think everyone would agree with me that "Dawn of Justice" and "Death Warrant" can only be regarded as classics.

After single-handedly avenging his fallen partner, Quebec-transplant Louis Burke is the buzz of the L.A.P.D.'s homicide division. Being able to defeat the psychotic giant known as the Sandman, the governor and attorney general believe he can handle an undercover assignment in a state prison. He is a Quebecer. How would any inmates know who he was? This makes him the ideal person to determine who and why the new straight-laced inmates keep getting murdered. Or does this make him the ideal target.

The guards are in on this game and the governor may be as well. With Burke only being able to trust Amanda, his liaison, and Tisdale, his adolescent hacker pal, he will need to stick his neck out and ally himself with the wisest and most ambitious inmates to take down this conspiracy. All while praying that no seemingly invincible cons who he had busted get transferred to this clink.

"Death Warrant" might be the last great crazy script from the 80's era of action. Eventual TV great, Deran Sarafian's direction is the only thing that hinders the film. Well, that and most of Van Damme's costars acting down to his level.  Acting to the lead's capabilities is great when it is Keanu Reeve in a "John Wick" film, and you are portraying a criminal mastermind. Doing so as a somewhat ordinary person against a Belgian martial artist is comical.

But with all the stuff Goyer throws into his script, comical is not necessarily bad. It is like "Commando" with a lead who has more to say than just one liners. That either means we have a better story than the Schwarzenegger vehicle or far too low of a body count. Whatever you think, both are ridiculous, and that is what you want from 80's action, provided the effects are up to par, which they are.

To further get your attention, you get great supporting characters, some of whom you are just glad to see. Like Joshua John Miller, the boy who played Homer from "Near Dark." It is just good to see he did not leave his talent behind.

Robert Guillaume is not as powerful as Morgan Freeman's Red, but he gives a wise performance that is wise in so many ways. Wise that knew what kind of movie he was in. Wise that he knew how to be a relatable every man to help guide us through this tale. This wisdom must have passed on to his role as the original Rafiki.

This feature also has the best villain in a Van Damme film next to "Bloodsports's" Chung Li. Patrick Kilpatrick as the Sandman is like have an actual speaking version of Li. He is huge and menacing and his dialogue makes about as much sense as Bolo Yeung's most iconic role. Fortunately, the creepiness gives him a supernatural nature that you buy in on. Not until JVCD faces Dolph Lundgren do we get such a satisfactory adversary, and I love "Lionheart."

If I am overlooking one flaw, it may be the trangender prisoners portrayal, but this was a prison movie from before we considered all rape to be bad. What I am saying is, it is from a time where we had no clue on how to be woke. Should we remake this flick (with Van Damme as the Guillame role), I am sure we would find performers who can make this work. Would they want to is a totally different question.

Transgender hooker, hormone-driven hackers, inflammable giants and Jean-Claude Van Damme make "Death Warrant" a spectacle not to be missed. It is good for noise and it must be great with a few drinks. The story is something to be awed by and I am surprised there has not been a new take on this.

It is "Bloodsport" meets "Batman vs Superman." Who would not want to see an hour and over done CGI removed from that? Feel free to use that for the "4K 30th Anniversary Edition of Death Warrant." And email me at russthebus07@gmail.com for a treatment of my Pro-Wrestling Zom-Com, "Main Event of the Dead" while you are at.

I mean, Orion/MGM did distribute "Mac and Me." Surely I can do better.

imdb.com

 

90-Minute Netflix: 2047: Sights of Death (AKA Death Squad)

 

Posters with Armed Older Action Stars Best Be Expendables Knock Offs

I finished "Iron Fist" and, though I thought it was a fine martial arts series, I can only deal with so much Finn Jones (why is season five of "Game of Thrones" considered a weaker one?). Thus, with an hour and a half before the news cycle, "Defenders" was not an option. Tennis had screwed up ESPN, so I was left at a loss for live TV.

It has been a tough few weeks existentially. I have been trying to move on from the I Hotel, but what will that gain me. Less headaches for one (as I just received the call that it was a good thing that I had not purchased Riot Fest tickets). Imagine an organization whose pay roll company can screw up a payday over a holiday weekend. After they failed to take my implication that I wanted to use up my vacation time on this slow week, make believing their incompetence takes less effort that what the cast of "2047: Sights of Death" put into their performances.

imdb.com/

That last comparison does not apply to Rutger Hauer and Michael Madsen's performances. They seem to revel in the stupidity. Hauer seemed like he had more fun in "Death Squad" than he had when he worked with Dario Argento. Madsen seemed to enjoy his time on set with the promise of vengeance for Bill's brother bud. Otherwise, "2047" is a semi-talented cast believing there would be special effects added in post.

By 2047, the Illuminati has used their influence to destroy any country that refused to join their confederation. Being free of restrictions and regulations, the new confederacy has let most of the world become a radioactive waste land. The only resistance that seems to be making a difference is "Green War" led by Sponge (Danny Glover) with his butt firmly glued to his chair surrounded by CRT monitors and ham radios. His top soldier is Captain Ryan (Stephen "Pardon the Spelling Error" Baldwin) who was recently shot down during a mission to destroy a downed satellite that contains records of their communications.

Determined to complete his mission, Ryan trudges through a contaminated quadrant to locate the satellite. On this death march, he finds companionship from the red-painted mute warrior girl, Tuag (no photo on IMDB), a radio, and a mountain of dead bodies which could bring down the Confederation. The findings inspires him to broadcast his position in hopes that someone on their side will extract him to safety and document his discoveries. The only response that means anything since Sponge is too old for this shit is from Colonel Asimov (Hauer) who is personally going to oversee a death squad with the assistance of mercenary and harsh fellatio critic Lobo (Madsen). Will Ryan survive Beyonce's descendants and radioactive hallucinations to save humanity? Since everyone seems to have bulletproof skulls, the density of Balwin's skull may just make him invincible.

"2047: Sights of Death" makes me long for Albert Pyun's films like "Cyborg" and "Adrenalin: Fear the Rush" to be recirculated on the streaming video rental stores. He set the standard for how to shoot a bad action flick with only one set. Pyun must have a carefree personality because his casts seemed to have fun filming. A payday for community theater, why would you not be happy with that arrangement? I suppose a language barrier might make one reconsider.

"2047" was directed by Allessandro Capone, an experienced Italian-director with a resume that does not seem as varied as Lucio Fulci, hence, he does not have the sense to take a budget on four former A-listers and the worst Baldwin and just go camp with it. As the film goes on and slows down time with nonsensical revelations, Capone relies on quick cuts to try and provide an illusion that action is occurring. This leaves us watching a poor 360-degree video, but there is a story, so we are compelled to stick around for a conclusion.

No 360-degree video has a conclusion is the lesson to take away from "2047: Sights of Death." Anyone stuck in this video cannot be taken seriously. Hopefully, Darryl Hannah learned this lesson. As for Baldwin, this may be the perfect purgatory for a Trump supporter.

 

 

Death Race - A Simpler Paul W.S. for the Masses

Jason Statham, can he do wrong? Is he the next Samuel L. Jackson or Ewan McGregor, individuals who can not be accused of a bad film? I can list movies featuring these actors, and who to blame for their sub par execution, but I'll limit it to Statham:

• "The One" - Delroy Lindo in two roles? Ridiculous.
• "Crank" - Amy Smart's presence, Ryan Reynolds in cinemas venereal disease.
• I happened to like what I have seen from the remake of "The Pink Panther."
• "Cellular" - Kim Basinger post Oscar.
• "Chaos" - Wesley Snipes is strictly made for video. Maybe he should have reprised the role of Willie "Mays" Hayes?
• "The Bank Job" - I dare you to find one good Mic Jagger Movie.

His only mistake he should have seen was "In the Name of the King", a Uwe Boll wad to the eyes, but he could have just enjoyed working with Ray Liotta (another Reynolds victim) on "Revolver" a little too much.

In conclusion, Statham seems to do no wrong. Combine his efforts with someone who somewhat understand video games and gimmicky sci-fi, Paul W.S. Anderson, "Death Race" seems to be worthwhile. The only problem I can immediately see is that it did not lead to renewed issue in the Sylvester Stallone classic. Perhaps to its advantage, that means I cannot claim that Anderson is messing with an institution. Regardless, how does the the film stand on its own?

In, let's say 2020...scratch that 20xx (Mega Man represent!), the world is recovering from a financial collapse. A collapse so devastating that the US Justice Department has privatized the penal system. The privateers need money to finance their service to the community. Their method, Death Race.

Death Race takes the most talented drivers among the inmates, and has them race for three days. For a society in ruins, gladiators are needed to raise the spirits of the masses, and by encouraging the maiming of one's adversaries with traps and fire power, Death Race delivers. Add beautiful woman as passengers, and a hero like the masked Frankenstein, awesome pay-per-view television is born.

Sadly, Frank died on his way to his fourth victory. Six months have passed, and viewership is down.

Fortunately, a new wife-murdering convict with a professional racing background has arrived. Some may say that the arrival was extremely convenient. Since Frank wore a mask, anyone could portray him.  If the con doesn't want to risk his life, they would be passing up a shot at freedom. If any driver reaches five victories, he earns his freedom.

"If your freedom isn't worth dying for, what is?" Warden Hennessey

Why do writers feel they have to show us the back story to how one ends up in prison? Did anyone care about what Andy did or did not do to end up in Shawshank?

"Death Race" comes straight from the days of Roger Corman. Read the script and the story will move forward. Acting it out maybe pushing it. Lucky for us, Anderson has a budget behind this flick, so he doesn't have to gamble on things just happening.

As for actors reading the script, the type casting works out perfectly. So our billed actors are not wasted, and the supporting cast does what it should. That is supporting the script (if Christian Bale cannot out act a Aussie who was best known for the Hogan-free crocodile flick, that's Bale's fault).

The only problem with the typed actors is that Anderson was too quick to dispatch them. Anderson may have been writing this how he would play a video game like "Twisted Metal".

Get rid of the annoying stereotypes first, so you don't have to hear them bitch through the rest of the level. The problem with that is, you know those guys will come back for the next track. Like it or not, you cannot kill Anakin Skywalker in "Star Wars: Episode I - Pod Racer". You have to look on the bright side. You'll get to run his annoying ass off over and over again. We need that element in all fictional racing.

Enough of how I treat "Mario Kart Wii" opponents, and back to the critique.

In the end, this might be the most upbeat Anderson film. This is because "Mortal Kombat" had to imply a sequel. There is only a normal a "do not build these death mobiles" warning to depress the audience. It shouldn't feel like a mainstream weekend alternative, but it does. This leaves us with a story that I feel anyone could direct. As a fan of Anderson, I am reluctant to think like that.

It is good to see that despite his recent infrequency of directorial efforts, Anderson still knows how to effectively make quick cuts in action movies. Along with the metallic score by John Roome, we are placed into an environment that one only expects to see in Anderson films. Often imitated (by second unit directors he has gone to bat for), but never duplicated.

"Death Race" seems to be a franchise that Paul W.S. Anderson wanted to make his own. I rented the disc, so I don't know if the commentary track disputes that. It has a B-Movie script, but the A effort by Anderson make Death Race a nice weekend get away, and continues Statham's flawless nature.

I'd prefer that people would rather see this than NASCAR. Please tell me someone is working on a syndicated series with the Death Race franchise attack to it.

IMDb - Death Race (2008)

 

NinetyForChill - The #Podcast: Risky Business and Class Action Park

 

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 34: Risky Business and Class Action Park (or should I have gone with "Risky Business at Class Action Park).

This episode is an expression of the range of my best contributors, a five-star suggestion from ThePoeticCritic in "Class Action Park" and "Risky Business" from Ally's Trash Feature Reviews. It also serves as a summation of white adolescent attitudes from the 1980's. Fortunately, fine flicks the both of them are.

 

With AEW Dynamite being on my last half day for the foreseeable from my banking job, I drove up to Hoffman Estates to catch it. And with the holiday and the pay-per-view, my efforts to find a guest may have been lacking. Throw in a mental break last night, this may demonstrate my mind may not have been up for it.

Despite all my issues this past week, thank you very much for giving my podcast a listen. This makes me collect myself and gives me a sense of purpose. And it looks like I still have a great concept because I do have some leads on some guests for upcoming episodes. Next week, I am fairly certain we will get an episode that I will be too long for YouTube.

If I missed anything with this episode, it is that I failed to mention that today (9/7) is the 17th anniversary of Stacia Hardin's passing. She was the best friend I have ever had and seemed to admire my determination in chasing my dreams. I am obviously flawed and have my demons, but remembering her inspires me to keep pushing on. All of my creative expressions are a tribute to her. So, hopefully I will remember this paragraph and make sure to thank her every episode from next week forward.

I would not mind being a couples week ahead when it comes to content, so I would love to hear from you with ideas on what to chat about. Frankly, it would be honor to host you and find out about why you offered your incite. Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com with a movie, theme, director, or actor. If you promise to center the topic around movies between 74 and 99 minutes, audio gold should be the product.

If you need some suggestions, movies like "Fear of a Black Hat", "UHF" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" can make for a great theme. ThePoeticCritic knew that Robert Downey Sr.'s satirical masterpiece, "Putney Swope" fits the pod's time restraints. There are also Tim Burton's early classics "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" and "Beetlejuice". Or we could just focus on movies Danny Elfman scored.

 

I have been asking for weeks for assistance in composing an episode dedicated to vampire features like "The Lost Boys" trilogy, "Near Dark", and the "Underworld" movies. Here is to hoping that this bunch of critiques will stir up some inspiration in my audience to step up and hold off on the garlic. If this is a topic you up for discussing, feel free to send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All I need is a half hour on Zoom to get this done.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

 

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.

Pinterest @mygrimmbrother

 

Choke: A Movie About Sex Addiction

This was the review I gave to ICC's Newspaper The Harbinger. Unless I'm writing a new review, I don't want to stick to my "Rough Draft" moniker. As long as MySpace still exist, you can check out my rough, uncensored review at http://myspace.com/inimitablerc

Hope you enjoy the professionalism of this work.

"Choke" is the second Chuck Palahniuk (the writer of "Fight Club") novel to be adapted to the big screen, and it shows the wide range of subjects that can be developed from antisocial behavior, nihilism, the lack of male identity, and addiction. The film also shows us a softer, light hearted side to his work that may perplex fans of his first adaptation, but for that reason, it may be worth their time to check it out.

Unlike Fight Club, Choke is not about the sociological aspects of society’s affects on an individual, but more of personal quest of the main character, Victor, (Sam Rockwell from "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"). Victor is a sex addict whose mother, Oscar winner Anjelica Huston, is suffering from a debilitating case of Alzheimer’s disease. To pay for her treatment, he works as an indentured Irish servant in a colonial-themed tourist attraction, and if that isn’t enough, he goes to fancy restaurants and intentionally chokes on food to con money from whoever rescues him. His mother’s health is important because she might be the only one who has answers to his mysterious past that his recollections of the limited experiences he had with his mother fail to offer.

If dealing with this seemingly Oedipus-based obsession with his mother and staying on the wagon is not difficult enough, he now has to change his lifestyle of being cold and cynical when he finally meets a girl he truly likes, Paige, the doctor who is willing to go beyond the call of duty to save his mom (portrayed by Kelly MacDonald of "Trainspotting").

As information is collected and his friends and other crazy old ladies get involved with his quest for knowledge, Victor is stuck with the dilemma of trying to know whether he is becoming a good person, or if he was never the bad person he thought he was.

If one were to research Palahniuk, all his novels are described to be as dark as Fight Club. If this is the case, Clark Gregg, the first time writer/director of this film, seemingly chose not to put the story he adapted into the same dark world. This would leave one to conclude that Palahniuk's books focus on how society allows for dark events like brainwashing the disenchanted or becoming a sex addict to occur. Unfortunately, a fan of Fight Club may pick this title up to escape into a world that is the fruit of anarchy, so disappointment may occur.

The spirit throughout the movie is good. Rockwell allows for the main character to be a likable outcast without being deviant like Fight Club’s Tyler Durden. If one is a fan of that character, they might feel the character is not cool enough, but this works for the director's vision. The film still remains to be quite cerebral despite the fact that Huston is the only thing that makes the childhood flashback scenes worthwhile, and Palahniuk’s dry sense of humor to make one wonder whether or not this stuff should be funny.

What truly makes the film work is that every plot twist works; this leaves the audience rooting for all the characters to have happy endings except for the cops who arrest Victor on the suspicion of rape of a 90 year-old mental patient. There is nothing spectacular about the film’s direction, so engaging the audience with the story critical, and Gregg successfully delivers in this aspect of his debut. He is not Woody Allen, but he shows the same promise, and this critic would like to see what he could do with a more audience-accessible project.

Choke is a feel good movie, which is definitely what this viewer did not expect to see. If this catches a filmgoer by surprise, remember that Fight Club’s narrator is left standing. What cannot be argued is that, at least in the world of film, happily ever after is always a possibility in a Palahniuk based project. As long as this happiness exists in a world of emotional chaos, the audience should be pleased. But because some want more than just the acknowledgement of the concepts of happiness or chaos, renting this film is the reasonably priced method to view Choke.

 

 Lectures Chuck PALAHNIUK-Choke