Everyone Was #Mystic #KungFu #Fighting

Ninety For Chill: The #Podcast with @CatBusRuss

Episode 171: #AniMay Spectacle: "Jujutsu Kaisen 0" with James Slunder

And this is why ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ is the top trivia team in Downstate Illinois. James Slunder comes to the rescue to make sure ⁠CatBusRuss⁠ does the month of Ani-May right. The team's self-proclaimed anime expert suggested our host watch the prequel to the ⁠"Jujutsu Kaisen"⁠ television series, the 2021 motion picture ⁠"Jujutsu Kaisen 0"⁠.

The result of this suggestion is a clash between generations of fandom. We use the term self-proclaimed expert to describe James because he was not around during the days of Streamline Pictures/Central Park Media and multicolored VHS tapes. Our host feels there has to be something from his tape collecting days that gives him the edge when it comes to being an otaku.

Anime has become a lot brighter and more colorful, and ⁠CatBus⁠ may sound like an old man shouting at clouds because it is too busy for it to have that nineties, Suncoast charm. He also did not watch many magical high school themed cartoons.

Fortunately, JJK0 (James says that is what the cool kids call it.) is "Harry Potter" on steroids. Who needs Quidditch when you wield a cursed katana alongside a giant, anthropomorphic Panda and a classmate whose voice is cursed to the point that he can only safely speak in rice ball ingredients. And of course you have some "will they, won't they" relationship to tease some tension. This is how they needed to sell the third "Fantastic Beast" flick.

Episode 173: Mortal Kombat (1995) & Collateral Cinema

CatBusRuss⁠ and ⁠Collateral Cinema's Beau Maddox⁠ have been interacting with each other since our host joined ⁠Bluesky⁠. Over the past week, they finally have found a feature that the two felt good about collaborating on. "⁠Ninety For Chill: The Podcast with CatBusRuss⁠" has covered ⁠Paul WS Anderson⁠'s "⁠Mortal Kombat⁠" before, but that was to pay tribute to French action star ⁠Christopher Lambert⁠. Beau and ⁠Russ⁠ will take a look at this beloved feature from all angles. The effects that still hold up, the less is more style of direction, and the charm of special effects that do not hold up after 4K TV's came into existence.

Does this lead to the conclusion that the nineties, with hindsight, were a good time for video game film adaptations? Is Hollywood still underutilizing ⁠Cary-Hiroyuki Togawa⁠ and ⁠Linden Ashby⁠? Should this script been delivered to ⁠John Carpenter⁠?

We discover the two have their polarizing opinions of the work of ⁠Tom Green⁠, so we quickly learn that conversational fireworks maybe a possibility. Perhaps it is that heat that lead to the pod's technical difficulties and not Beau's phone overheating. Russ hopes that throwing in his review of Sylvester Stallone's "⁠Escape Plan: The Extractors⁠" will be an adequate apology for those issues.

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - Christopher Lambert: There Can Be Only One Definitive Podcast*

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 74: Christopher Lambert: There Can Be Only One Definitive Podcast* (From a Central Illinois-based podcaster).

Christopher Lambert: There Can Be Only One Definitive Podcast*

June 28, 2022

*Cool Movies Darth does not claim that this episode of NinetyForChill: The #Podcast is the end-all-be-all audio documentation of Christopher Lambert's career. CM Darth reviews two of his favorite Lambert sub 100-minute movies (Stuart Gordon's "Fortress" and Paul W.S. Anderson's "Mortal Kombat"), the film that spawned his most renowned franchise "Highlander", and, because all of the sequels qualify, "Highlander III".

Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective. 

While we are contextualizing, please forgive me for the spelling error in the promotional picture. It was a pain enough trying to get one of my cats in the mood to pose (They did not.). Spell checking was not a priority. That maybe something Corel Clip Studio Paint should incorporate into their program.

This is another episode that was pulled out of no where. We had a guest scheduled this week to provide the audience with a weird double feature (the indie wrestling mockumentary "Kayfabe" and Edgar Wright's "Shaun of the Dead"), but that guest was a no show. Thus, I decided to go to four comfort films I own that all happened to star legally blind, French-American actor Christopher Lambert.

Two of the features were originally meant to be part of season three of Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy Trash Feature Revue but with "Fortress" to represent "F" and "Highlander: The Final Dimension" representing "H", I would probably have resorted to find a Lambert movie for "G".

The only feature that would immediately qualify for that letter was "Gunmen". I think one feature with Mario Van Peebles as his costar is enough. But, it would be fun to try and watch a movie that also featured Patrick Stewart and Dennis Leary as villains.

My guest cancelled on Thursday, so I only had four nights to get all these movies in. So, the films in this episode are addressed in the order that I watched them. Trying to crusade against YouTube's sponsorship of GOP Fascist Rodney Davis, I immediately took to recording the reviews onto Audacity. The result is me not worrying about trying to get them under 2 minutes 18 seconds (the time Twitter would allow me to upload) and just talk and edit accordingly.

"Fortress" was the first film of the binge. I do not know why, but I never associated it with Stuart Gordon. This was probably the first Gordon feature I saw (Cinemax was a little more open to showing that in the late 90s over "From Beyond" or "Re-Animator".), and being on late night cable did not allow me to give it my full attention. Upon this rewatch, that assessment was unfair.

If "Total Recall" was not camp enough for you, Stuart Gordon makes up for it. The only thing the cast is missing is Barbara Crampton. You have Vernon Wells (best remembered as Bennett in "Commando"), Clifton Collins Jr. while he was still Clifton Gonzalez Gonzalez, Kurtwood Smith before he was Red Foreman, and Gordon stallworth Jeffry Combs as a hippie. It still has the body horror that you expect from the patron saint of the podcast and a lot of unexpected nudity from both sexes. "Fortress" is a piece of fried VHS gold.

Because I shared a gif from the film on my Twitter profile (@catbusruss) asking for a guest to chat about it, "Mortal Kombat" made it to this episode. I will stand by this feature being better than the fun 2021 video game adaptation, but when you have Chinese monks being in awe of a white European thunder god, this is a product of its time. Still, the latest version of the property could have benefited by having a Rayden with a notable laugh like Lambert's. BD Wong would be my choice.

90 Minute Family Video: "Absolon" and "The Ballad of Vinnie Jones"

I guess there are films that feature Vinnie Jones that I do not want to see. This is my latest discovery thanks to a month (Summer 2009) of trying to dedicate more time to renting instead of buying DVDs.

"Bog Body (Legend of the Bog)" seems to be too Syfy Original for my taste (With a pre-WWE Sheamus in the film, I thought it was a fair assumption. It was not that ridiculous), and "Strike" starring Tara Reid must be wretched. You cannot bill Reid and expect a film to work. It only took E! one season to figure that out. The point is, unlike "X-Men: The Last Stand", "Hell Ride" and "Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins Ball", Vinnie's presence has no chance of making these films worthwhile.

The lack of any Vinnie-tastic flair in the new releases leaves me going through the two-for-one dollar section at Family Video to find something interesting. Who knew Christopher Lambert has a movie that started with the Letter A? Sorry, I must have blocked "Adrenalin" from my mind. Come on. I cannot be the only one to think the "Species" chick was going to have a career outside of the series?

I still approach "Absolon" with some discretion. Lou Diamond Philips is no Ice Tea (Albert Pyun's "Mean Guns") and Canadian sci-fi is always an iffy investment (David Cronenberg's "Shivers" and "The Brood", regardless of opinion, can attest to that statement.) All it took was the director of my favorite Bond film, (and nudity from that film's Bond girl) to buy a 25 cent VHS copy of "Point Men" starring Lambert. That investment worked out, so I should have a little fate in the premier "Highlander".

And, you cannot say no to Ron Perlman. I have tried.

I did end up renting "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" and I sat through "Rats" on USA. You cannot mock those decisons if you are patient with Bruce Campbell, so how can this decision backfire? Christopher Lambert plus another above Bruce-lister should equal cinematic joy. "Absolon" fits the equation and fifty cents seemed like a fair price.

In 2010 (take that 2012), a virus wiped out five billion people and led to the collapse of all the economies around the world. No cure for NDS (neural degeneration syndrome) could be found, but a drug called Absolon was developed which would allow for individuals to live a normal life with the disease.

Absolon also led to a currency to revive economies. People are paid in time. If one runs out of time, they no longer get the drug, so poverty becomes a death sentence.

The man who discovered NDS and Absolon was murdered and his research stolen. Det. Scott (Lambert) is assigned the case. When he discovers that the victim had found a cure for the virus, he becomes the target of the World Justice Department. To make matters worse, the victim's lab assistant had inoculated him with the first half of the cure's formula. If he wants to save himself, and the world, he must find the other half of the cure in the next three days.

Writer Brad Mirman has had some good ideas, but they are not enough to produce a great final project. It seems a bit criminal that his final drafts get put on film. I say that because the scripts for "Absolon" and two other Christopher Lambert films he wrote could make for some great B-movies.

With the frequency of bad flicks, it seems like we cannot hold the music video director who take on his projects back. Mirman may just be trying to give them a break into a new format. This is a pretty scary concept. To believe there is someone out there who wonders, "What would Russell McCauly do?", I would prefer not.

And when I said some good ideas earlier, that means a premise for a film. After that, his desperation attacks all five senses with poor attempts at plot twists and ripping off lines from other Lambert films in an effort to get his trademarked laughs in to the script to make up for the lack of any effort to lighten the mood.

Speaking of ripping off Lambert's "Highlander" legacy, Director David Barto grabs a fight scene from one of them. That fight scene is the elderly McLeod versus the punks from "Highlander 2". To his credit, he knew how to recreate it on the cheap. Until the climatic one-on-one battle with Lou Diamond Phillips, that is the complaint one can have with the direction. This serves as an indication that Barto does not have the patience to direct a film since his background is storyboard artistry.

I might have to pop "Blade II" into the DVD player before I can say he was not trying. The disc may have some of his boards hidden with the bonus material. It would distress me to find out that he is not into delivering detail to his work. But when the future only means fluorescent hair highlights for the girls in "Absolon", why would we think otherwise.

As for the direction of the climax, it only seems that he was so focused on showing us how very small elements will determine the outcome, and thus loses track of the simple punch, punch, trip, nut shot action. If we had learned anything from the days of 80's action, continuity can be ignored for the sake of enjoyment.

If there is one thing that is good about "Absolon" is that the script does not challenge any of the actors. Phillips can be the hip Chicano, Perlman can be the just pick one of his memorable roles of the oughts (Hellboy, Reinhardt from "Blade II", his sniper from "Enemy at the Gate") and not even put in a whole day on set, and Lambert is Lambert.

The only person who has difficulty with their role is Kelly Brook as the English Dr. Claire Whittaker. It may have been that she was too young for the role (i.e. Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in "007: The World is Not Enough"), but she does not deliver any dialogue with conviction. Just because Ron, Chris and Lou do not have to, does not mean you are excused.

Then, she did have to do a love scene with a man she is half the age of. This was when I finally got pissed at the rental. You got to be at least an A-lister to get away with that. Sorry Christopher, I got to finally call bullshit.

"Absolon lacks the heart and script to overcome its disease. Christopher Lambert and Ron Perlman did not let me down with their efforts, just their decision making. That goes for anyone who decided to drag something out of a script that is only as good as its outline.

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<<< 90 min DVD - "The Happytime Murders": 3.5' of Story

 

90-Minute Netflix DVD - Nirvana: Christopher Lambert versus The Antivax Mouse

It is looking like it will be a super weekend for NinetyForChill.com. Three of the next five blogs will be movie reviews and not just me refining my content for MainEventoftheDead.com. After dealing with people babying their adult children with overblown graduation celebrations in the lobby, I feel the class struggle expressed in 1990's cyberpunk films from America and Italy. The Franco-African party in the meeting room also fulfills that smaller world feel of these flicks as well.

We need to develop customer service apprenticeships or have all businesses that require its employers to be legal adults be operated under University banners. If we mock youthful fast food employees, why would we not mock youthful clerks. It may just be a case of the haves versus the have nots, which is the root of all end of the millennium science fiction. Fortunately, we have not experienced the devastating economic falls that were prophesied, but the rise in diseases seems to be a poignant prediction.

Antivaxxers might just be the product of the rich's influence on those who envy them in the lower classes. If they do not give their kids a medicinally-insured childhood, and it seems to work, the idolization will leave the poor believing their kids will be fine. They just need to be reminded that Jenny McCarthy quit having kids and Alicia Silverstone can put her little ones in plastic bubbles.

Which movie studio has the antidotes? Per chance it is the most obvious conglomerate, Disney. Fox was the UK distributor on "Mnemonic" and Miramax was under the Disney banner when they released the dub of the Christopher Lambert film that inspired this blog, "Nirvana". The mouse is hiding his evil intentions in plain sight.

Jimi has been consumed with depression. It has been one year since his beloved Lisa left him which is effecting his efforts to finish his latest virtual reality game, "Nirvana", and the release date is only three days away.

Solo can relate to the feelings of being melancholy and used. Every night, he awakens with vague memories of his past lives only to be drawn into Maria's quest to defeat Neo-Shanghai's criminals elements. It is the same every day until he hears Jimi giving him orders.

A virus has infected the games servers and Solo is now sentient. If living only to be killed repeatedly by noobs is his future, he would rather be deleted. Jimi is fed up with deadlines and the monotony of his life, so he can relate to the request. But how can he do it?

The only one he knows who might be able to pull this off is Joystick, the guy who was helping Lisa get settled into Marrakesh after she flew the coop. If he needs to acquire the assistance of the last lead to his broken heart, may as well see if he can make up with her before he destroys the corporation that is holding everyone down.

Oh how I wish I had some herbal assistance when I was watching "Nirvana." The story is buried within a lot of cool cyberpunk imagery and ideas, so the weed may have enhanced those and this film would have been a nice trip. Otherwise, the film is fun, but you are constantly calling BS on how it gets from point A to point B.

www.imdb.com

Info about the best current day cyberpunk

"Strange Days"

Christopher Lambert plays his archetype, and I cannot go wrong with this. As long as he gets a bit in the "John Wick" franchise at some point, the future looks bright. Every other character is too hip to emote, but they were written that way, so that is forgivable. The only flaw with that is that does not make them any different the sprites in the "Nirvana" video game. If you interpret this as Jimi and Solo's quest running parallel, that is not a downside, but definitely a stretch. The writing does not seem smart enough for that.

The journey in the film is suppose to start in a major city, but a cab will take you from the West (or Far East) to Morocco and a drive through snowy weather will land you in India. That is a stretch for me. And with the reasonably cool makeup and effects elements leaving you in a state of nearly forgetting the story, if these unique cities do not look any different, you could have just stayed in Newark like Keanu did in 1995.

Thank the gods for "Strange Days" finally getting this pre-HD cyberpunk world right. Still, with how ridiculous the film can get, you may as well enjoy it. If anything, "Nirvana" has finally inspired me to watch "Hackers."

It seems that I am now on a quest to find an intolerable 90's Internet movie. Do I skip this and work on trying to create a hybrid between "Nirvana" and "Mnemonic" instead? Let me know with and e-mail at russthebus07@gmail.com and feel free to request a treatment for my B-Movie, Pro-Wrestling Zomcom, "Main Event of the Dead" while you are at it.

"Kickboxer: Retaliation" How to Warrant 110 Minutes and I, the Retarded Garland

*Blog entry started on March 3, 2020

I have been in a fried state since C2E2. It was quite the learning experience. This was an experience that someone who turned 40 during it may have not been ready for. Maybe movie and pro-wrestling geekdom was too much to handle for someone who has close of 20 years of aspiration to make a mark in one of those fields.

It is good to know that I am only 15 years behind Alex Garland. His first novel was at 26 and I had not even started writing fiction until I was 27. Since "The Beach" was based on his vagabonding adventures and I am an underemployed pro-wrestler (I may not be working, but I am already open.), perhaps my mistake was abandoning "With a Capital C (working title)" to complete the script for my low-budget, pro-wrestling zom-com, "Main Event of the Dead". Feel free to email me a request for the treatment or offer advice on how to get it out of development hell at russthebus07@gmail.com. There is an order to things that I did not follow properly.

If only I knew the proper order when ending a relationship. The lack of communication over and her early bed time from her being upset that she had to fulfill the C2E2 obligations at least allows me to knock out a movie review for ninetyforchill.com. The only problem was determining movies that I have access to see, have yet to see, she might want to see (like "Paradise Hills" with Awkafina and Milla Jovovich), and what I was in the mood for. Relationship turmoil did not seem right for any Gregg Araki films.

My solution, turn that to a physical expression of turmoil in the form of "Kickboxer: Retaliation" a sequel to the 2016 reboot that I really enjoyed. Now this film was one hour and fifty minutes, so you may say, why does this qualify for a website that puts a cap on length at 97 minutes (You will never know how many movies you own that end at 1:38 until you enter an endeavor like ninetyforchill.com.)?

That is because, if you were able to establish a universe in your first film, you get to expand it in your sequels. "John Wick" was just over an 1:45. "John Wick: Chapter 2" was nearly 2 hours 10 minutes. Did we complain about that? No, because Jonathan earned it.

Surely this privilege does not solely belong to Keanu Reeves (I say that because I thought "The Matrix" sequels were fine and the extra hour was worthwhile). Stuntman-turned-actor Alain Moussi has similar limitations to his acting, so perhaps this is the non-sci-fi martial arts equivalent to Neo's adventures.

funnyactionmovies.com - 

‘Kickboxer: Retaliation’ Movie Review | David vs. Goliath

Kickboxer: Retaliation

Kurt Sloane has returned to the States with his new wife Liu after avenging his brother's death at the hands of Muay Thai kingpin Tong Po. Sanctioned mixed arts is his new pursuit, and things are going well. Unfortunately for him, he had left Thailand's underground fight scene without the lineal champion, so the reigning promoter Thomas Moore decides to kidnap Sloane and have him help in a corrupt prison for murder.

Sloane does not want to return to the underworld, so he refuses to fight Mongkut, the current champion who is large enough to cut down a horse with a single swipe of a sword, despite being offered a million dollars. He may find the prison to be a spiritual place as Moore seems to locked up all of Mongkut's potential contenders along with Sloane's trainer Durand. With Zen boxers to learn from, it may be wise to master their teachings and then take the fight.

Unfortunately, Liu's attempt to rescue her husband results in her own kidnapping, so Moore has raised the stakes. On the flipside, Moore wants the best possible, and is willing to make sure our protagonist will be ready for the fight of his life. With that kind of accommodation, Durand should be able to find a method to defeat this great mountain of a man.

If you love fight training montages, "Kickboxer: Retaliation" is for you. "Rocky IV" seems to be fondly remembered for its musical numbers. "Kickboxer" is just a few Survivor and Frank Stallone tracks from being an A-List film.

"Kickboxer Retaliation" is loaded with action to pad out the 1:50 runtime, and the variety of the fight scenes keeps you intrigued to the point where I only found out that I was an hour twenty in when I paused for a drink refill. You have to enjoy all the fight movie clichés to get into the film, so do not expect anything new. On the surface, this was yet another great repackaging of an old IP further sweetened by an extended cast of fun characters portrayed by a hackling Christopher Lambert, a blind Jean-Claude Van Dam, numerous MMA legends, and a chill Mike Tyson. That should sell any action fan to see it.

Now they are going to see direction that features many upon many poorly framed shots and video game sweat effects. The previous film's producer, Dimitri Logothetis, takes credit for the direction and what he tries and fails at shows that he has his hands in too many places. Since this film does not offer anything new, you have to avoid looking like a direct-to-video movie any chance you can. "Kickboxer" does not do that.

The pacing of this feature is fast enough, but because it does not offer anything new, it should not have been 20 minutes longer than its predecessor. We have changed the location of the violence, but the "Kickboxer" universe has not been expanded on. I think of the original five films, the last was the only one to present a "Street Fighter 2: The World Warrior" vibe, but that was hardly a sequel in terms of continuity. (In terms of a cheap 90-minute flick, Mark Dacascos delivered.) That would be the way I would make "Kickboxer: Armageddon". You cannot get away with same movie different location thrice when it comes to a franchise of any quality.

"Kickboxer: Retaliation" is an adequate action flick which serves as an acceptable addition to the "Kickboxer" reboot. It is a very late 80's action movie, so if you do not expect a masterpiece, you will not be let down. If you want a "Kickboxer" reboot to watch, I will recommend that you watch "Vengeance" instead of this. But if only one is available for free streaming (Netflix was where I get my "Kickboxer" films), you will not feel let down.